Do You Take Facebook Personally?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by KinderCowgirl, Jun 21, 2011.

  1. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    When you send friend requests that are never accepted, but you see them accepted by other people in your same circle? Or if you have people who you notice un-friended you?

    I don't think I take it personally, but it does make me reflect on why. I went to write on my cousin's wall and I guess I'm not on her friend list anymore. We're not close, I haven't talked to her in person in probably 15 years (she's in another state)--so I know I didn't do anything to offend her. And I certainly didn't post anything offensive. Maybe she was just cleaning out her account or something.

    Just wondered if I'm the only sensitive one! :whistle:
     
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  3. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    I rarely take *anything* personally... I learned a long time ago that when people act in a way that is unexpected or irrational (to me), it generally has nothing to do *with* me. (Much like in the classroom. When a kid gets upset or rude, the vast majority of the time it's because of something else that is happening and not a reaction to me asking him to take out his notebook... lol)

    I was "unfriended" by my ex-husband's first wife not so long ago. At first I was surprised because she and I always had pleasant conversations, but then I realized that it probably had more to do with her issues with him than with me. I let it go.

    *If* I notice when it happens, the only thing it makes me do is pause for a second, much like you did, and think, "I wonder what happened." But I don't let it get to me.
     
  4. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    No, I don't take anything personally. I have this small circle of "chat" friends and we all friended eachother on Facebook. Well, there was some huge problem that got a few of these friends kicked off the chat site we belonged to so one woman got petty and unfriended all of us who weren't kicked off. She is upset so I didn't take it personally but seriously, when are people going to GROW UP? This woman is over 50 years old by the way LOL
     
  5. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Honestly, I don't notice if I'm unfriended by anyone or not. I guess I'm just that observant. There is a high school friend that I've requested to be friends with that hasn't responded, but I know that he's been on. I think it has more to do with what's happened in his life since high school. I've noticed that he only has one or two high school friends on facebook.
     
  6. Miss W

    Miss W Phenom

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    Well, I don't accept many friend requests. Only my brother and his wife, and my pastor are my friends. That way I can connect with them (my brother and his wife) since they're so far away from us. My pastor, well I'm not sure why I clicked him. No, he's funny, and a close family friend. I have liked a few company pages (such as ThistleGirlDesigns, PetSmart, or LeapFrog).

    I keep getting such weird connections requests. I know more people are more active on the site than I am, but I hope they're not offended that I don't accept their requests. Most of the time I have no idea who they are. In the small instances that I do know who they are I send them a message telling them that I am really only on to connect with my family.
     
  7. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    I don't take it personally at all, but I do sometimes wonder what happened.

    Awhile back I friended someone from high school, and we had talked back and forth quite a bit. Then one day I tried to comment on one of her posts, and I didn't have that option. I went to her page, and I'd been blocked from her wall posts.

    I thought it was unusual, but I didn't say anything about it. Yesterday I posted a comment on a mutual friend's page, and then today I noticed that I had access to her wall again.

    Sometimes I think that people accidentally block people while they are messing around with their settings.

    Often I don't even know when people "unfriend" me because I have a lot of people on my friend list. I have a lot of former students on my list.
     
  8. webmistress

    webmistress Devotee

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    I don't really post much of anything on FB but I did take this situation personally.

    There's a local wedding photographer and his work is brilliant. His photos have literally made me cry, as I do love photography. Seeing his work also inspires me to do better.

    I decided to send him a message that I think his work is genius level, some of the best I have seen in the world, and that he inspires me. He didn't even respond back. :unsure: Not a 'thank you' or anything. :(

    I felt completely ignored and foolish, which is why I rarely like to open up my heart and reach out to people anyway. So yes I take FB personally. It's your real emotions and thoughts after all.
     
  9. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    Not really. I do wonder. The only circumstances I can think of are my sister and my old boss who I was pretty close with at one time.

    I was surprised one day when I went to send my sister a message and she wasn't on my friend list. But then when I asked her about it, I found out she had deleted her account.

    Then I sent a message to my boss one day and he wasn't my friend anymore. I requested him again and he added me but then I noticed awhile later that he wasn't my friend again. I just wonder why... at one time we were really close. Oh well.

    On the other hand, I won't add my cousin, and he should take it personally - he is a drug addict and involved in all kinds of stuff I don't want to be a part of and I don't trust him as far as I can throw him.
     
  10. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I wonder how many messages he gets like that? He might not be able to respond. Also, if that is his business page and not his personal page, he might not even check it - he might have an employee manage it.
     
  11. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    I know some of my students' moms must have felt that way. I had a parent as a friend, but didn't accept the other moms until the year ended. I accepted that first mom's request before deciding I should not friend class parents. I didn't want to unfriend her, so .... I think the others figured it out when I accepted their friend requests the day after school got out.
     
  12. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Nah, social networking is just social networking ... it's not how I evaluate my friendships.
     
  13. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    I don't really notice either. Sometimes I notice how many friends and it's something even like 100 then it's down to 95. I can't even figure out who I'm missing because most of the people I have on there are distant family or people from high school/college. I only have a few in my regular newsfeed.

    Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive. It's like getting the cold shoulder from someone and you don't know why-just over a webpage.
     
  14. Emily Bronte

    Emily Bronte Groupie

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    Would I take it personally, no. But, I suppose on some level I might wonder, depending on who it is. I do have a couple of friends who activate and deactivate their accounts regularly. I am not too sure of what is going on there.
     
  15. waterfall

    waterfall Maven

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    I've seen a big media push lately to unfriend people that you're not very close to. I've seen a lot of stories where they talk about how you give out so much personal info on fb and then most people have at least a few hundred "friends" on there. Most recommended that you delete anyone you weren't really in contact with anymore. I was actually just thinking of doing that with mine!
     
  16. mb_teacher

    mb_teacher Companion

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    I have noticed sometimes, though, that facebook has a glitch that deletes friends. My sister and I were "unfriended" and we're pretty close. Same thing has happened to 2 of my closest friends.

    Just because you're unfriended, it doesn't necessarily mean that they did it. :)
     
  17. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I'm hardly on FB as it is. Secondly, unlike some people who want to be friends w/ people on there who they don't even know, I wouldn't do a friend request unless I know the person & I'm sure they'll accept.

    I've been requested to be friends by a few people I don't know & I don't accept the requests. I don't feel I should if I don't even know who they are.
     
  18. Emily Bronte

    Emily Bronte Groupie

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    This holds true for me as well. If I don't know someone personally, I do not accept his/her friend request.
     
  19. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    This is correct.

    I use a program called Better Face Book: http://betterfacebook.net/
    It's a program that allows you to alter some settings that Facebook doesn't let you alter. I especially like it because there's an option to lump all similar posts into tabs, so like all the Frontierville posts are in one tab, all the Farmville posts are in one tab, etc, so they don't clutter up your newsfeed and so that you don't miss a reward post if you play the games. You can edit those tabs and set whatever parameters you like. In addition to those tabs and many other features, there's also a Friend Tracker on the right column that shows you when you are no longer friends with someone. I regularly see notices on there saying, "You are no longer friends with Anthony Weiner", even though I know that I am. After a day or two, the person shows back up in my friends list. There does seem to be some sort of glitch. Even the Friend Tracker has a disclaimer that says: (Note: Occasionally Facebook will report incorrect data to this script, and the users above are actually still your friend. Please verify the data above by clicking on the friend's name.)
     
  20. Youngteacher226

    Youngteacher226 Enthusiast

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    I took one situation personally but I guess I'm over it now. This just happened a few weeks ago. The librarian at my school retired last school year and while she was there, we had many talks about me going back to school to become a Library Media Specialist. She suggested it and actually encouraged me to think about it because we had so much in common in regards to her love for what she does. I would tell her that it wasn't something I planned to do in my career and so on. Needless to say, I have had a change of heart this school year and have decided to return to school. I am super excited!! I talked to my P and she suggested I contact our former librarian via FB to get some professional advice and to maybe mentor me if she desired. She's always been the type to want to lend her expertise whenever possible.
    So I sent her a message via FB, waited a few days, got no response. So I sent her another message, got no response. :confused: Okay, that was enough for me to get the hint. Not sure what I did to her or if I did anything at all. I know that things did not end well between her and administration when she left, but I don't see what that has to do with me. Especially since we always had a good working relationship.
    Bottom line - I deleted her from my friends list. My feelings were a little hurt, I'll admit. But I also feel like if I can be ignored, then there's no need to be "friends" on FB. I guess the older I'm getting I'm losing patience for people who are not genuine.

    (BTW, I did see her online and responding to other posts, so I am sure she checked her page. ) :(
     
  21. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    I don't notice. But I have offended many people who asked to friend me and I sent them a personal message that my facebook is only for my family members, so I can see their pictures and keep in touch. I think I have 10 friends!
     
  22. MATgrad

    MATgrad Groupie

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    For some reason, Facebook is the big thing at my work. I don't put anything that interesting up. Personal info is messaged to the appropriate person. I get random friend requests from people that I work with and they would take it personal if I didn't accept them. I tend to not take it personally but it has helped me connect with people that I normally do not see on a day-to-day basis.
     
  23. MsMar

    MsMar Fanatic

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    I wouldn't take it personally if someone unfriended me. For all I know it's happened and I just never noticed. I know I have a decent number of friends that rarely post so I wouldn't notice if suddenly we weren't friends anymore.

    I've ignored friend requests from high school people that I cannot recall at all from high school. I'm assuming they found me from someone else and asked to friend me just because we have a mutual friend. But if I can't remember you, I'm not friending you.
     
  24. iheart5thgrade

    iheart5thgrade Comrade

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    I guess I'm in the minority on this issue--but yes, I get offended on Facebook when people don't want to be my friend or if they unfriend me. I only ask people to be friends who I really know well, so if they ignore the request or unfriend, then it hurts. I don't just randomly ask people that I "sort of" know....so yeah, it hurts.
     
  25. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    Glad it's not just me! ;) That's what I was talking about. If I sent a friend request to someone I hadn't seen in 20 years and they didn't accept-I understand that-they probably don't even remember me. But for example, I sent a co-worker one (we worked on the same team for 5 years) and she didn't accept. Now I keep seeing her name pop up on all these other people she's accepting requests from now. It just makes me wonder-ok why not me?
     
  26. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    I am pretty selective in accepting friend requests. There are people at work who have asked and I don't accept because sometimes they are just plain nosy about my life and family. I recently found a high school friend in CA and she accepted my request and was very happy that I found her. Since then, she has never once used FB to chat! I figure, what's the point of it?!
     
  27. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

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    I try not to take it personally...I often come across people who I was "friends" with in the past, only to find that they unfriended me. I always just think they must have went through and deleted people they didn't speak to frequently. I don't go through my friends list, because I don't really care who I am friends with on facebook. I don't really see the point of deleting people, unless someone really ticked me off. The more the merrier!
     
  28. sweetlatina23

    sweetlatina23 Cohort

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    I did because my niece unfriended me. She had added me a year ago or so, but just this past February I noticed she deleted me, my husband, and my other niece. In other words, she deleted everyone in her dads (my brothers) family. I've asked her, and she just giggles and says oops it must've been a mistake. Ah well.
     
  29. sweetlatina23

    sweetlatina23 Cohort

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    My coworker tried to add me, I didn't accept her. The reason is because she has EVERYONE from work. I don't want to have everyone added on my profile from my coworkers. I choose to only have one person, who I know very well. I did go up to the secretary who is the one I declined and I explained. She was okay with it, but did say it bothered her. Maybe if I ever stop working there, I won't mind. But I don't want to feel like I have to accept everyone else's friend request, lol thats if they even asked.
     

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