Do you share personal information with your coworkers/admin?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by TennisPlayer, Sep 5, 2008.

  1. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

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    Sep 5, 2008

    Part of me says only talk about school related issues at school and leave personal/family issues outside of school but since I work at a private school and we pray, I'd like to bring up some health issues that my relatives are facing but I also don't want to start crying and get all emotional at school. I can easily cry when I talk about emotional things that really upset me and I don't want to be viewed as weak or anything like that since I was told that as a child.

    Today I find out if my mother in law's 2nd treatment for cancer is working or not. We'll get the call tonight since they live out of state. It's been a hard day waiting and I wanted to open up at school to my principal before I left school but I felt I would have started crying.

    I'm a new teacher and this is my first school so I'm trying to be careful of what I say and do.
     
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  3. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    If you want to ask them to pray for your family, then I don't see any problem with divulging that information. The power of prayer works!
     
  4. Special-t

    Special-t Enthusiast

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    Only share what you don't mind everyone knowing.

    To cry is human and no one will judge you for being emotional about a family member going through chemo. I'd be willing to bet that unfortunately, most of the staff at your school has had someone close to them with cancer.
    If you were crying about the small stuff (like the copier not working) then you might get judged pretty harshly ... because most people know that there are real issues to cry about ... like cancer.

    Why not reach out and trust a few co-workers? They could be a great support - and it might be nice that they understand why your eyes are puffy and red sometimes.

    But remember my first warning ... nothing will be held confidential in the workplace. It's just not the way that cookie crumbles.
     
  5. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    I would not right now, unless you have to miss work for one of the situations and it has to come up, but I wouldn't bring it up out of the blue--it could be perceived as attention-seeking.
     
  6. peggy27

    peggy27 Cohort

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    At our school we talk about our personal lives at lunch. We are very open with our grade levels and it is nice that we know what's going on with each other. Coworkers can be great support. But most I do not get too personal with.
     
  7. kickatstars

    kickatstars Rookie

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    Last year, I started at a new school, and I told my AP what was going on right off the bat. My grandfather had been diagnosed with lung cancer and was in hospice. I wanted to make sure that when things started to go badly they would know what was going on. I also talked to my teammates. I was so grateful to them when I got the phone call from my mom--I didn't have to explain anything. They wrote sub plans for me, filled out my sub requests, and even drove me home.

    Maybe if you don't want to talk to them face-to-face, you can send an email letting them know about your situation. I'm sure people would be understanding, and if anything goes badly (God forbid!), they will be able to help you.

    I'm praying for good news for you!
     
  8. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Sep 5, 2008

    It obviously depends on the environment in which you work whether you would want to discuss your personal life with co-workers. In my situation, we have common planning each day and while we do occasionally actually plan ;), we share a lot about what is happening in our lives...usually over some good food each day.

    I think if sharing that a family member has cancer would come off as attention-seeking, well...that doesn't sound like a welcoming working environment to me. Perhaps that's normal to some people and in some areas, but not to me.
     
  9. scooter503

    scooter503 Comrade

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    I think sometimes you just have to share. A year and a half ago I was working in a great school for an LTS job. Just before leaving home for work one day I got a call from my mom saying my younger brother (aged 22 at the time) was in the hospital with a possible heart attack (it was.). I was a wreck at school that day, and there was no way not to explain what was going on. I even told my kids...they had seen me crying before school. Also, because I kept my cell phone on all day so my mom could call me with updates. There's no way I could have kept that all a secret.

    Last year my dad found out he had lymphoma. Again, I talked to a few trusted co workers (I was still working as a sub at the time). It was really great to get support at work...since at home my whole family was dealing with the same issues. I appreciated knowing that there were others out there thinking of and praying for my family.
     
  10. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    If you want to be prayed for, but don't want to put your business out there, just say, "I don't want to get into details, but please pray for my family".
     
  11. reverie

    reverie Companion

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    Sep 6, 2008

    If you pray at school then I would share that information if I were in your situation. They might even offer extra support if you need it.
     
  12. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    If you read my post, I said "...out of the blue". What I meant was that if you are going to mention something like that, it should be in context with the conversation and not just mentioned out of the blue. If there is no relevance, it's better not to mention it. IMO, it's also better to develop a certain level of trust and comraderie in relationships with coworkers before discussing things so personal.
     
  13. Hoot Owl

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    If you keep things bottled up your peers might just think you're very uptight and not friendly.

    I would never share very personal things with colleagues because it will become "public" info and there are bad people out there who delight in sharing "friends???" info.

    This is a very legitimate concern, share this with your co-workers, they will pray for you and be supportive. It makes you human and approachable.

    We have a new speech therapist and she's not done well with her peers. I don't know what her problem is but she has a lot of teachers already talking ugly about how she's thinking she's better than everybody else, which IMO is ignorant. No one knows why she's so uptight. I suspect she's going through something, which is none of my business because it may be very personal. People sometimes just judge too soon.

    Be who you are. I'm a cry baby too and have a rule if someone is crying I have to cry with them.
     
  14. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I read your post, and I know what you meant. I just don't happen to agree. I think it is fine to mention this "out of the blue" and I don't think it should have to be in context of an already-started conversation.
     
  15. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    To each his own....
     
  16. Annie227

    Annie227 Companion

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    Sep 6, 2008

    I probably share way too much at work! :) It's my 2nd year at this school and I've become very close with my team - we talk about everything at lunch and we go out together frequently (we're having a camping trip later this month). There's 2 co-workers that I went to Vegas last year with for a long weekend (we're going again this year and a few more will probably come along). I spend more time at work than I do at home awake - I'd go crazy if all we focused on was "professional stuff".
     
  17. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Sep 6, 2008

    You might just write your administrator a note telling what is going on, and that you want him to be aware and please keep your family in his prayers. I tell my admin. everything that is serious and could affect my teaching or being able to get to school. I even had to tell him "I found a lump" and needed to go out of state immediately for tests. He is super compassionate and supportive.

    I think esp. in a small school or private school, there are some things we should share that we might not share with just anyone. We are a team and sometimes need to know things so we can support each other.

    I'm a crybaby too and hate to cry in public!! Sometimes I will ask a friend to request prayers for me if it is too emotional.

    God bless you! It can be a tough line to find, but I think if it is something that might affect you at work, or something you might need extra suport for, give people a head's up.
     

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