Ok my son is in kindergarten and I am not sure I like his teacher I think she is antisocial! Most of my neighbors who have had their kids in her class say she is nice one minute and cold the next time. I volunteer at my sons school weekly outside of the class. I do popcorn friday which raises funds for a different teacher each week. I haven't ever actually volunteered in his class though. I have told THAT women 3 times if she ever needs me in any way dont hesitate to ask! I ran a daycare and am an extra set of hands if she needs. I told her this the day she told me things were pretty hectic in class and my son was adjusting slowly. Do you kindergarten teachers have something against parent helpers? When I went to the preK orientation of hers and the kindergarten orientation she said parent volunteers sometimes like to come in once a week to help with a certain center and that helpers were needed for holidays as well. Half the time she sees me she is thrilled the other half she looks so mad. How much help can I be if Im scared to ask her if I can help. How should I go about this? I want to be involved in my sons school. After all, next year (or this summer) I will be back in school myself to work towards my teaching degree I may not get much chance.
I have mixed feelings about parent helpers. Not that this is your case, but I have found that many of them are dying to come in to help - but, really, spend the time there trying to be social with me, or interupting their child (correcting his answers) or watching me and judging me. When I gently guide them to what is a more appropriate task (one on one help with a child, running a small group, clerical tasks), they sometimes don't return at all! Then you get the ones that really want to be there to help the kids and the teacher, and just to let their child know that school is important to them. It's just really hard to tell which type of parent it's going to be until they've been in the room once or twice. There are actually parents that I dread having help us. I've had one sit on the circle rug and tell me all about her sex life and barhopping while I was trying to do the calendar and story time. Kim
Yikes KimRandy! She would be the parent that I would hope would NOT come back! I have my first parent helper ever coming on Monday. I have papers for her to rip out of workbooks and sort and I told her she could read a story to us after recess. I really dont know what else for her to do.
I don't mind having parent helpers in my classroom as long as they behave appropriately and don't interfere with their child's learning while they are in the room. That being said, the teacher might have been being honest about things being hectic. At the beginning of the year I sent home a letter asking for parent volunteers, but I didn't have any actually come into my classroom until last week. It might just be that you asked her at times when she had a lot of other things on her mind, and she completely forgot that you mentioned it. Would you be comfortable sending a note in with your son reminding her that you are interested in volunteering in the classroom, and stating in the note that you will be calling to chat about volunteering in the next week or so? That way, she'll know you are still interested and she'll know that you'll be contacting her about it, so she'll hopefully put some thought into how you can help in the classroom.
Maroki-Great idea about not putting her on the spot I know I hate it as much as she would. She did tell me that the first 3 weeks it would just be harder for her to find jobs for the parents while the hectic times were going on and the children and her were adjusting. I totally get that! Yikes kinrandy that is horribly innapropriate! I have the thought that, if Im in the teachers class although I am my sons mom I'm there to help and be involved. My sons is there to do what he is suppose to do as well. I dont even think I can imagine socializing with her she scares me. Eekk. I think that I will take the oportunity of halloween coming up to ask. Her kindergarten manual did say she need class parents for that. Anyone want to help me with a rough draft?:unsure:
How about "I want to thank you for all your hard work this year. My ____ is enjoying..... I would like to volunteer in your classroom 1 day a week doing whatever tasks would help you the most. I am available ...... Which day would be best for you? You can contact me at phone or email....
That is really a wonderful idea much better than what I came up with. It makes my (now crumpled up note)sound so bad lol .G ood thinking. I think she will like that alot more than Uh I wanna help. I will let ya know how it goes I think Ill send her in note on friday in his folder.
She might be picking up on the vibe that you don't care for her. I personally love supportive parent helpers but if I sense a parent is coming into the classroom to spy then I get annoyed. I always no matter what open my classroom for parents and Im sure she does too. Maybe you need to be more direct and just say "Im available on ___, ___ mornings. When can I come into volunteer." Also, in Kindergarten if volunteers start before the class has settled into routines you risk the parent being a distraction. The norm for me is to start inviting in volunteers in November. Im sure she would love your help, maybe she is just not ready. scmom also has a really great way to let her know you would like to volunteer.
I started out the year thinking I would want helpers but to be honest, I have my brain occupied just doing what we are doing, let alone having to show another person what to do. I WANT to get to where I have helpers in the room, but I am new and not there yet. I have my hands full as it is and am still scoping out parents as to who I think would work out and who would just make a wreckage of the time. For me that is scarey and maybe it is for your child's teacher as well. When/if you do help, make sure you are there to serve, not to socialize, criticize, or usurp the teacher. We teachers have enough pressure (from others and ourselves) without adding that. Thanks for caring enough to want to help!!
She told us twice two different meetings and groups of parents that sometimes parents like to come in 1 certain day a week and help with a certain center. I didn't come up with the idea on my own! She told this to the parents in her preK class which goes for 3 weeks before kindergarten (which my son was in). Then during her K orientation. I am just generally shy about asking to voulnteer I suppose. I worked at his school on picture day and they had said they needed 4 helpers and I was the only one. I have come to learn that with volunteering no one asks for help they just wait for it. I dont want to spy or criticize or judge I know far to well that volunteering is work that benifits others. She seems to have a hard time with lots of stuff. She cant tie , zip or handle messes. I would like to be the perfect mom that can take some burden off her. It seems if shes not smileing she's just plain miserable.
I cant imagine what you'd think of my sons local preschool then. It was a co op!! hmy: Each parent had to take 1 day a month.
I hate having parents in my room. It has been my experience that children sometimes have attitude changes when parents are around. With that said, I have at least three a week face painting. I have one that is going to come in each week to read starting the first week in November. I think that the key is that the parents volunteered, but I picked the times, the day, and the activity. Sometimes the time parents volunteer are the worst possible time for me.
I've heard you say this several times and I wanted to respond. Please don't judge her on how she looks....teachers are often preoccupied with planning for later in the day, the activity the students will be doing immediately upon entering the classroom, the meeting she has after school or even before school, getting prepared for conferences, etc... DH often tells me that when I'm not smiling, I look mean. There doesn't seem to be an inbetween ground where I'm gentle and pensive, or something along those lines. And I don't walk around smiling all day; I'm usually thinking about the next things on my "to do" list. I hope that parents don't judge me because it seems I look mean some of the time, even though I definitely smile when I'm with the kids and throughout the day. So, unless you hear her talk to the students or talk to parents that THAT makes you think she is miserable/unhappy, please don't judge her simply on how she looks. She is probably preoccupied.
yes I agree and that's me. I am not smiling my head off all day long. I am so busy I can't be concerned about whether my face is in smile form all day long. We laugh and have a great time most of the day, but we should not to be judged on our facial expression. It's the voice and the tone that would concern me. Our sons had a Kindergarten teacher that was very stern looking and to-the-point when she talked to the kids or anyone. At first I thought she was a grump. Soon realized she was a very focused teacher and the kids learned from her. What drives me nuts are the parents/teachers with the cutsey voices. They tend to talk in high pitched opera voices and the kids act like babies around them.
I agree with Kim! I have had some parents who are more of a problem than a help. One would take her child out into the hall without talking to me first. Another brought her 3 year old with her and that was just one distraction after another. I have also had great parents, but you never know what your going to get.
I have had great volunteers and awful ones, but usually it takes more time for me to plan things for them to do and explain it then it does to just do it myself. The other problem that I have had is that after all the explanation, the volunteer does it the way she wants and it is not the way I asked. For example, I asked a volunteer to 'help' the children trace an apple and then let the child cut it out. Well, SHE decided it was easier for her to do the tracing and cutting and the children didn't get to any of it. I also had a parent put names on the kid's cubbies, giving her a correctly written list of names and she wrote all the names in upper case letters and then changed to cursive for some! Or I can give the volunteer a job to do that should take an hour or less and two hours later she is still working. I don't think most teachers dislike volunteers, it is sometimes just more trouble than it is worth.
I am new to Kindergarten and have had two dad's volunteer to help. I have had them tear out workbook pages, assemble notes to go home, and accompany us to the cafeteria. It is nice to have another set of eyes in the classroom. I make sure to acknowledge their presence to the students and make sure to have the students say thank you to the parent for helping us. In Head Start I had a parent who would help and she would be more trouble than help. So I gently encouraged her to leave and gave her things to do at home instead.
We have had dad's volunteer for field trips and they did a much better job than any of the mothers. They were well grounded and kept the kids in line and still had loads of fun!
Katrinkakat I LOVE it when dad's volunteer. They for some reason are easier to deal with and its fun to watch the kids interact with them. I teach in an inner city school, unfortunately a place where a positive male role model is scarce, so when I get a good dad I love it.
I agree that some parents are meant to volunteer and understand the role they play, while others thinks it's chat time. I have some great parents that come in. They help me by stuffing the folder with flyers from the office, floating and monitoring at centers, and making games/materials for me. I do have many that can't come in, so I send books and a tape recorder home with the kids so the parents can record books for my listening station. I don't have a para, so having an extra set of eyes is a HUGE help. One of hardest parts about having parents come in is having to get all the materials ready for them and explaining what I need done so that its done correctly. I had a parent one time cut out a TON of laminated game pieces at home. I explained to her that she needed to leave an edge so it wouldn't peel, and I even left her a few pieces that were done correctly so she knew what I meant. Apparently she still didn't understand because when I got them back she didn't leave an edge at all, so now most of the pieces are peeling. Yikes!
I DO NOT like having parents in the classroom. At least not this year since this is my first year. I am not the same teacher when they are in there because I am so nervous that they are judging me. I also agree that kids are different around their parents, most of the time not for the better and some kids like to show off when there is a different person in the room. I would rather it just be me and my students. I'm not saying that I have something to hide or anything, I just SO nervous when they're around. Hopefully next year, I will be more relaxed. Oh yeah, tomorrow, I'm going to have a ton of parents in my room because we are having a Halloween party. YEAH for me!
ditto kim.... I had a stalker parent. New kid in middle of the year. (you know my little girl was just fine, but Mom she was upset, worried, crying..you name it!) would not go home. was hiding behind my car in the parking lot! waiting for us to come outside to play. I finally suggest that another teacher really needed her help, but she could come and help us at lunch time! that worked out much better! finally, she got a job!
I personally prefer not to have parent volunteers in the classroom. Once in a while they are great, but 9 times out of 10, they want to chat or their child acts up because they are there. It takes me a great deal of time to "prepare" for a volunteer. That is time I don't really have. And it doesn't really help. I don't come always come across as "friendly" or "social" to other adults when I'm in "teacher mode." I am so focused on the kids, that other adults are just a blur to me. I'm trying to remember 20 different things I MUST do by lunch time. I'm trying to watch little Susie to see why she is writing her b's backwards. Is she inverting them, did she not learn the correct way to make them, or is she just rushing? Is little Max talking with Sarah about work, or are they chatting about Power Rangers? The learning center is running out of forms -- I'm trying to remember to make more at the copier later. Why is Billy digging around in his desk? Why isn't Julie wearing her glasses? Did she forget to put them on, or did she leave them at home again? My students take all of my concentration. If a parent shows up, I welcome them in, direct them to a chair, and hand them a big bag of work (tearing out flash cards). I thank them for their time. That's it.
I think gravity just turns our smiles into frowns when we relax! Okay, seriously I know it takes more muscles to frown...and you have to actually think about that. But I get really offended when people (especially men!) say to me, Why don't you smile! I feel so fake, that is not me. You never hear guys tell each other to smile. Some men just think women should be looking pretty and nice all the time for them. Okay...that's my vent!! But if I am not smiling, my face just kind of goes to a blank look. I don't mean to be mean! sometimes, I just have some thoughts, and I might just not be thinking of anything at all. but when I am at school, I do make a habit of smiling more often, especially when I talk, and try to look pleasant. when I am at K-Mart or Jewels, that's a whole other story. pls don't judge a person by their face. they may have lots of things on their mind.
If I got the vibe that a parent "didn't like me," I wouldn't be quick to want them to volunteer in my classroom. If you have told her 3 times that you are willing to volunteer, and she hasn't taken you up on it, I'd stop offering. She is sending you a message. She either doesn't want or need a volunteer right now.
I always provide volunteer training. and most schools I know have posted directions on the proper way to assist children, without taking over their activity! It's also important to ask the volunteer what they really want to do. I wouldn't give a clean up job to a person who is good with math, nor a filing job to somebody who can build me a bookcase!
sad to say, we do have spies. there are some strange people in the world and some are on parent committee, and some teachers are just plain paranoid. we like being alone! our room is our castle. we got stuff all over. it's like having company over...you can visit, but don't look in our look in our drawers.. but now that I am Special Ed. Pre-K, I love having all these people in my room! I realize this, and have observed and subbed...and I thought this would bother me, but now I am all for it!
2 more thoughts Another issue that we have not addressed is that the teacher's status and principal's point of view She may be on probation. This teacher have her principal breathing down her neck! It may not be you at all! If I am being evaluated, I certainly can't afford to have a parent in my room...who will unknowingly write out my death certificate! I had parents bring cake for birthdays, and in Head Start there is absolutely no outside food! It may be the princpal. Sometimes, teachers and princpals are on a different page My princpal told us point blank, NO MORE parents all day in school. You bring kids in, help out in office, cut and assemble stuff, go home, come back at dismissal. I have to admit, I had 20 kids in kdg, and 20 parents in line with me...every morning. they followed me to the door, and stood there - staring at me. I said, do you want to stay, help? No, no. Well, okay...good bye, see you later. So, I don't know..I guess in this school my princpal is serious and will back me up. Other princpals love having parents around, the more the better for them. I mean I've seen parents, older brothers and sisters, teachers' kids, grand babies in strollers ...just lots of kids, parents and teachers..all day... I guess it depends on the principal. just my
I had my first parent helper a few weeks ago. She was great and did more in an hour than my aide does all day! LOL! With that being said, her child DID act differently when she was in the room. (not paying attention, running to her and yelling "MOMMY!", etc)
I have the same problem with one of my kids. She constantly goes over to her mom, but once we are at stations she is distracted by being busy working.
I'm a kindergarten parent and just wanted to ask if you've ever had kids who behaved BETTER when their mom/dad volunteered? I ask because a few weeks ago I volunteered in my son's class and his teacher said he behaved better when I was there....threw me for a loop. We've talked about his behavior when I am not there, but I just wonder why our situation seems so backward/not the norm? Or is this common as well?
yes bebe... children do want to please us, and make us all proud. all you have to say is, "I like the way Mary is ____." and next thing you know everyone says, "I'm sitting nicely!" And they will! the best thing to do is to stay focused on your task, which actually helps you, and your child. if you are out of work, or just want to help, it keeps you out the house, and gives you a chance to be productive. if your child sees you helping in school, he feels a sense of pride..because you are taking care of his home away from home! well, at least some of them. I know on field trips NOBODY acts like they have any sense! :woot: and unfortunately some parents are absolutely NO help during field trips! they buy THEIR kid soveniers, or junk food, or stuff for everyone in their group, and make the rest of us look bad. Some smoke or talk on their cell phone and don't watch kids! I have found several lost kids from (previous position) our school, because they were abandoned by their parent volunteer! Good thing they were wearing school T-shirts...I spotted them right away!
Master-- We are taking the same parents on field trips. I had parents thrown out of the zoo a few years ago for smoking in the building after being asked three times to put it out. WOW!! Did I ever understand their child better. I also hate it when we say please don't go into the gift store and they take their group in and buy them all treats. I had one mother spend over an hour in the gift store at the museum on a four hour trip that included lunch. Needless to say her group did not see everything and did not complete their scavenger hunt.
this may be a hijack... but here it goes so, I have a new job as a sp. ed pre-k teacher. I thought I would get new kids, and a new room. principal puts me in room all ready set up, and tells the teacher (the same day) that she is going to be replaced by me...and the old teacher has to get the new room and new kids! I know...I got lots of issues. hmy: but what about the parents!? today, the teacher was out (she told she would be-needed a mental health day!) and a parent was talking to my (our?) aide. I felt the urge to introduce myself. but I guess that would not be wise, since the princpal has not told the parents. but this is dumb! she knows that she is going to do this one day soon! we are all up in the air..because this old teacher (ha ha..20 yrs younger than me) has to tear down her whole room, drag it down the hall..and make a new room. Plus, she is going from kids she knows.. (20) to a whole new set (40!). Needless to say, she is a little upset. I think the principal will just send home a letter one day to the parents, and tell me start taking over..like the week after next! this will not be fair to anyone! we shouldn't spend our free time taking down and setting up the room! and why not tell the parents now? so they can get used to me? How would you feel if your child had a new teacher, nine weeks after school started? any suggestions???
OMG...we should just vent about field trips. the raggedy bus and the potholes on the street --- I think I gained a bra size after the last trip? (do buses have shocks?) :crosseyed the windows that get stuck the windows that won't open when its 99 degrees the food that the kids try to sneak on the trip the parents that sit next to their kids, and ignore the rest of us the parents who sit together, and talk about the rest of us! the bus driver who gets lost, drunk, us there too early...back too school too late and the best one... the bus that breaks down, and we all have to share MY snacks 'cause you know I brought extra food in my backpack!
I am not big on parent helpers because I have a para and she gets it all done....... I do ask for helpers on "big" days like Fall Fest and Water Day! Kel
I had forgotten about this thread! So, here's the update. Firstly my husband and I had our parent teacher conference which wow that was a big deal within its self! While we were talking she told me she is so strapped for time, my son is far ahead and she has 13 english language learners out of 25 kids (now 26). I felt so bad for her I then asked her if there is anything that we can do as parents to help paper work?, copying?,etc (I was not going to offer to help in class) She innterrupted with I need helpers in class, someone to work with the kids during the first half of the day. She was worried my schedule was too busy. I told her I am available 2 days and only busy at night when Im at school and part time days. We ended up talking and she was really excited and interested to hear Im going to go into elementary edu. She said anytime I need help with my classes just ask (we went on to sigh and sigh about math lol). So, Ive been class mom for a few weeks. It's great I can help free her up to move around and give others help and as she said "I can learn the songs and lessons with my son too". And another big bonus is I am really learning from her how she handles a class. I think I will be taking alot of her teaching skills with me when I graduate.