Do you let parents know your expectations of them?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by TamiJ, Jul 1, 2014.

  1. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2007
    Messages:
    6,873
    Likes Received:
    229

    Jul 1, 2014

    This past school year I was so frustrated with parents who never checked the class website or read my daily emails (and one had the nerve to accuse me of never informing her of an event...though she did apologize when I forwarded her the several emails I had sent with the information...and sent her the link on our website where the information was posted).

    In any case, my frustration is making me wonder if I should go over my expectations of my parents on our first day (my grade has a meeting with the parents on the first day...so not actually classes, just a parent meeting). I don´t expect too much, but I do expect that they:

    1) Check our class website on Monday afternoons

    2) Read my emails

    3) Participate when needed

    I know I might look rude at outright explaining these things (of course I will do it in a sweet and lovely manner), but I am hoping that by explicitly stating it I might get more parents on board. What do you think, and do you any of you outright explain your expectations of the parents to your parents?
     
  2.  
  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,958
    Likes Received:
    2,110

    Jul 1, 2014

    I don't 'expect' anything, but I inform parents on back to school night of some procedures, communication avenues and policies. Parents can never claim they 'didn't know' about important dates and activities as I have multiple levels of school to home communication in place. If parents choose to not be informed that's their issue, not mine. I always make sure my students get what they need, even if their parents are tuned out.
     
  4. Bunnie

    Bunnie Devotee

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2009
    Messages:
    1,136
    Likes Received:
    165

    Jul 1, 2014

    Yes! We set expectations for students so why not the parents?
     
  5. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2011
    Messages:
    1,949
    Likes Received:
    17

    Jul 1, 2014

    No, but I teach older kids. Also, I've come not to expect anything from parents - including follow through on the things they suggest.:rolleyes:

    OP, your plan sounds good. At least you can say you CYA.
     
  6. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2003
    Messages:
    6,699
    Likes Received:
    66

    Jul 1, 2014

    We have a grade level back to school night, about 3 weeks in. That gives enough time for parents to form some questions and for us to see problem areas. We go over some expectations (signing homework sheet, signing and returning graded papers, etc) and explain how the day/rotation works (new for them). It helps parents understand where we're coming from. With the "new" math (Common Core/Engage New York), it also gives them a chance to see how that works.
     
  7. SleekTeach

    SleekTeach Comrade

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2014
    Messages:
    293
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 1, 2014

    I send a letter home telling the parents what they can do to help their child at home. I don't really want them to feel like I have a set of rule for them to follow. Besides, even if you give them expectations they still don't have to do it. It's not like you can hold parents accountable.
     
  8. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    6,185
    Likes Received:
    2,115

    Jul 1, 2014

    :thumb:
     
  9. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2006
    Messages:
    4,858
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 1, 2014

    I definitely do Tami! I use the image of a 3-legged stool at Open House and tell them that for their child to be successful I will have to do my job, the child will have to do their job and the parents will also have a job to do and I explain what the expectation entails.
     
  10. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2007
    Messages:
    3,644
    Likes Received:
    108

    Jul 1, 2014

    This is my opinion ^^^ My parents would tell me they're paying a ton of money for their kid to go to my school (and pay my salary :rolleyes:) so how dare I expect them to do something to help their child.

    I can take care of what I need to do, but I can only suggest to students and parents how to take care of what they need to do. :2cents:
     
  11. otterpop

    otterpop Phenom

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2013
    Messages:
    4,156
    Likes Received:
    1,759

    Jul 1, 2014

    Are you at a private or public school?
     
  12. Jerseygirlteach

    Jerseygirlteach Groupie

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2010
    Messages:
    1,439
    Likes Received:
    2

    Jul 1, 2014

    No, I don't. My parents would never be able to commit to the things you mentioned, because most of them don't have computers anyway. I do have expectations of them, mainly to see to it that their children do their homework, read and respond to correspondence, show up for meetings, and sign test folders. I consider myself very lucky if I get those things. Personally, I don't feel comfortable making demands, though. I'm responsible for managing my students, but I have no authority over their parents.
     
  13. Preschool0929

    Preschool0929 Cohort

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2012
    Messages:
    575
    Likes Received:
    109

    Jul 1, 2014

    I do set expectations for parents in a letter that I send home before school starts. It's both a "meet the teacher" letter with some info about me, and then a few bullet points about expectations like checking backpacks and homework folders on a regular basis, attending parent/teacher conferences, etc..

    As the OP stated, I still have parents who at the end of the year, even though I send home a newsletter every week and communicate in a lot of other ways, that will say that they weren't aware of activities going on at school or in the classroom (which are also the kids who usually have the september newsletter still in their backpack in May....)

    A 1st grade teacher in my building sends parents a letter that says "The ABC's of Mrs. X's Classroom" with every letter of the alphabet (A is for Absent: If your child is absent please call the office or the classroom just to let us know, B is for Birthdays:....) etc... I think it's a cute way, without being harsh, to remind parents of what is expected.
     
  14. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    8,453
    Likes Received:
    1,592

    Jul 1, 2014

    I send emails and a quarterly newsletter to parents. When I get one of them on the phone, I ask them for their help and partnership in their child's education. Since this is distance learning, I NEED parental help to make sure my students are fully engaged. I cannot reach students who don't turn on their computers and check their communications. Parents can make sure that happens.
     
  15. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2010
    Messages:
    4,330
    Likes Received:
    572

    Jul 1, 2014

    I teach high school so I don't have any expectations of parents. Except back me with behavior issues and buy them school supplies.
     
  16. ecteach

    ecteach Devotee

    Joined:
    May 25, 2012
    Messages:
    1,195
    Likes Received:
    96

    Jul 1, 2014

    You must live in a different area than I do, because about 75% of our students do not have internet access at home. So, I'd never make expectations like this. I do send home a weekly letter. Some parents read it, and some do not. This is my way to cover my butt so to speak so they can't say I didn't let them know certain things. But, what can I do if they don't read it?
     
  17. OhThePlaces

    OhThePlaces Cohort

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2007
    Messages:
    527
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 1, 2014

    Honestly, as a parent, I think that I would quickly get annoyed with daily emails. I request that parents check their child's agenda regularly and sign their reading logs, but I don't expect or demand it. They're adults and not under my control.
     
  18. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,958
    Likes Received:
    2,110

    Jul 1, 2014

    :thumb: We can hope parents are our partners in the education of their children and, thankfully, many are. But bottom line, we can't dictate parent behavior...keeping lines of communication open thru different methods is all you can do.
     
  19. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2007
    Messages:
    6,873
    Likes Received:
    229

    Jul 2, 2014

    Oh yeah, I do. They have live-in nannies, housekeepers who also do the cooking, along with personal drivers. They all have computers, ipads, ipods, iphones and every device you can think of. This is an extremely wealthy population.
     
  20. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2010
    Messages:
    4,330
    Likes Received:
    572

    Jul 2, 2014

    Just speaking in generalizations, not having lived the life that you are describing, so please forgive me if I'm way off base...

    I'd imagine that parents who outsource the raising of their children as you described, are not going to be that concerned about checking daily emails about school. It would seem that they would be content with just letting you "handle it" as the other "staff" does. You might actually get more response if you pull the nanny into the loop.
     
  21. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2007
    Messages:
    6,873
    Likes Received:
    229

    Jul 2, 2014

    I email a list of the English speakers and anything that might have popped up that is not on the website...oh, and also any necessary reminders (bring librabry books....bring swimming gear for swimming class, etc.).
     
  22. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2007
    Messages:
    6,873
    Likes Received:
    229

    Jul 2, 2014

    lol..Sorry, I had to giggle. The nannies don´t speak English. Actually, most of the parents are on board. I had a couple this year, maybe three, who didn´t consistently check the website or emails. I was hoping that by explicitly informing the parents of my expectations I could avoid the few who don´t. Sorry if I made it seem like it was the majority, because it certainly isn´t. I will also take a moment to defend the parents and say they have not outsourced the raising of their children. The only one who I actually could make that claim is a rock star (who is divorced and has full custody of his son) who has to be out of the country a lot, on tour, recording in other countries, etc., and his son clearly has lots of other adult figures in his life helping. However, for the majority of the families, the parents are there and present, but have lots of paid help to do everything. These parents are very hands on with their children and value education.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. SaraFirst,
  2. Ima Teacher
Total: 277 (members: 2, guests: 250, robots: 25)
test