Do you hug your students?

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by TeacherBug08, Jul 27, 2014.

  1. TeacherBug08

    TeacherBug08 Companion

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    I was just curious if you or teachers at your school hug your students from 2nd grade and below? Thanks!
     
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  3. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    I've never initiated hugging, but many have hugged me. Most of my female kindergarteners hugged me multiple times a day. I had a few boys that hugged on occasion, but no one daily.
    I can't really count my 2nd graders, since I knew 80% of them before they were in my class. I had a ton of staff kids/grandkids and PTO officers' children. Out of my 'unknown' kids, I only had one that hugged.
    In 5th, some hugged me on the last day, but that was it.
     
  4. RainStorm

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    We hug all of our children, preK through 8th ... but we are a small, private school, so it is quite different from public schools.

    When I worked in public school (PreK-5) I always hugged my kids -- I taught 3rd and then 2nd grades. I wouldn't have wanted to work at a school that didn't allow hugging. It is a shame that some places can't. I understand why, but it is a shame.
     
  5. YoungTeacherGuy

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    Kids in the lower grades tend to be pretty affectionate. I never, ever initiate a hug, but there were times when a kid would come up to me and put their arms around me. I'd never turn them away or make them feel bad, but I'd try to turn it into a side hug (and make it as quick as possible). As a male teacher, I was always very cautious.

    As an administrator, I stand at the front gate each morning. A few kids hug me when they see me, but I'm always so busy talking to other students or parents that it's very quick (plus, there are people around...which is a good thing).

    It's sad that I have to be so weary about hugs, but it's part of being a male at an elementary school.
     
  6. RainStorm

    RainStorm Phenom

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    Our male staff do "side hugs" too. I don't blame them.
     
  7. waterfall

    waterfall Maven

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    I don't initiate but I will hug a child back if they hug me. I had a few huggers last year. As far as I know we don't have a school policy on this. I once worked at a school where there was an official policy that we could high five only. If you saw a child going in for a hug, you were supposed to put up your hand and high five them instead.
     
  8. runsw/scissors

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    I hug any child that hugs me first. Typically it is the younger children, but jr. high girls sometimes get huggy as well. Only a few times have boys older than 2nd grade hugged me. I figure if they are seeking the connection they must have a need to be filled. If you are uncomfortable with hugs you could give high fives or handshakes.
     
  9. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    Every day at least 5 kids give me a hug. It's the occasional kiss I have to dodge!
     
  10. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    Me too. If they hug me I always hug back. I've had a few try to kiss me but I always tell them kissing is for family members only. :lol:
     
  11. DressageLady

    DressageLady Comrade

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    Shoot, even as a woman I was taught to do the side hug.
    Sheilah
     
  12. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Yup. I will initiate it as well as a form of praise for doing awesome. I love working for a private school where hugging isn't taboo.
     
  13. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    This, exactly.
     
  14. mrsammieb

    mrsammieb Devotee

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    I hug back! You can't help yourself!
     
  15. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    My grade 7 and 8 students rarely hug a teacher; if they do initiate one, it's usually because they need one.
     
  16. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

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    My students hug all the time. I try to turn so they hug my side. In 2nd grade, many of them would have their face in a "womanly area" if I didn't turn.

    I have initiated hugs a few times. For example, if a student is typically a hugger, I may hug them if they give me a gift or make something for me. On the last day of school I always do "hug or high five" as they leave (they choose).
     
  17. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    I rarely initiate hugs with students, but I'll hug them back if they put their arms around me or ask for a hug.

    I do this because I've never been a real "huggy" person and it used to make me feel uncomfortable as a kid when my parents would force me to hug adults. I also hated when adults (outside of my parents and a few close family members like my grandma or brother) would grab me up into hugs unexpectedly.

    When I do hug, I prefer side hugs because many of my students heads hit right below or on my breasts, which is awkward.
     
  18. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    Side hugs here, too! Mostly for the girls... I can't remember in recent memory a boy initiating a hug.
     
  19. nklauste

    nklauste Comrade

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    I don't initiate hugs with students, but if one hugs me I will hug them back. I had a third grade boy this last year that would come in and give me a hug everyday; I figured if he was initiating it then he needs it.
     
  20. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    I'm a hugger. The kids know this and many look for their ugh first thing in the morning and before they leave. I had a really troubled boy last year that needed the connection. He didn't know how to ask for the hug, but he would lean against me and lay his head on my shoulder.
     
  21. OhThePlaces

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    My third graders hug me once in a while.
     
  22. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Awwwww, :blush: cute
     
  23. SleekTeach

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    I don't. Of course I taught 2nd grade last year, and will have first grade this year, so they sneak up on me all the time. I try to quickly show them the high five or fist bump instead. I'm male and I don't need the drama. It's crazy to me because as a kid I don't remember ever wanting to hug any adult, but surely enough I was getting plenty of hugs from my mom and dad at home. I guess they don't get that at home.
     
  24. DrivingPigeon

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    I was the same way...I've never been a big hugger. I don't think I ever hugged a teacher.
     
  25. PinkCupcake

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    I can't imagine never hugging a child in my classroom. I've initiated a hug when a child has brought me a gift, drawing, etc. of some kind. At the end of the day some students will give me a hug during dismissal and I always hug back.
    It makes me sad that hugging a student is even a big issue. Kids need hugs!
     
  26. bros

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    First thing I was told when I got assigned to my student teaching in Kindergarten was never to hug a student.

    Also, if they hugged me, try to get the student to disengage from the hug as soon as possible, while not hurting their feelings.
     
  27. PinkCupcake

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    I can see why you would be told to do so, but it's still unfortunate.
     
  28. littlemiskinder

    littlemiskinder Rookie

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    My kindergarteners are always huggers. I had one class that would hug me every time they entered the classroom (I would just give them a back pat). The only time I initiated a hug would be if a student was upset or crying.
     
  29. Errrrrrrrrr!

    Errrrrrrrrr! Rookie

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    I try to avoid hugs. However, they are unavoidable so I usually ole the student and side hug them instead. I have had students try to hug me too long or try to hug from behind, and I have to be very stern with them. I let them know that it is not appropriate. I am a male teacher so I try to give as many knuckles as possible.
     
  30. TeacherNY

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    My students have trouble with appropriate boundaries so I usually don't hug them. If they get hurt or someone upsets them then I might.
     
  31. RedStripey

    RedStripey Comrade

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    This! :lol:
     
  32. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    I don't initiate hugs generally.

    But....one of my kids was upset on the first anniversary of his mom's death. He got a hug and a kiss on the forehead when he was sobbing. I kind of shocked myself with the forehead kiss, but I don't think he even noticed. His new stepmom and the principal were right there, as well as my college intern and her professor. No one said anything negative but I got thanked later by both the family and administration for caring so much about the kiddo.

    I usually do the side hug when kids initiate it.
     
  33. mathteachertobe

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    I teach much older students than the OP was asking about, but, when former students come back to visit, I almost always initiate hugs without even thinking about it, without regard to gender. When current female students are upset, I might initiate a hug, depending on circumstances. (If upset with me, no hug. If confiding or looking for support, hug offered.) I never do that with male students. (I am female.) Any student-initiated hugs are generally returned with side hugs.
     
  34. SF_Giants66

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    I honestly will almost certainly refuse to be intimidated by the no hugging taboo. If a child asks to not be touched, then I'll respect that, but otherwise I think safe touching should be allowed, such as not touching areas that would normally be covered by a bathing suit unless in a medical emergency, keeping it to short hugs, etc. I could understand if a teacher was over-doing it, then it would be a problem, but complaining about hugs in general, especially when it is men? Seriously, that is just stupid.
     
  35. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    Aren't you planning on teaching high school? That's probably not the hill I would choose to die on if I were you.
     
  36. i8myhomework

    i8myhomework Comrade

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    Oh, everyday.

    I initiate hugs, and receive them. I'm from the south and WE HUG!
     
  37. SF_Giants66

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    I'm planning on teaching middle school actually. I actually have rarely hugged students when volunteering, but that's pretty sleazy for someone to freak out over a hug.
     
  38. MzMooreTeaches

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    Yes I hug my students as well. In the kindergarten world if I notice that they are sad, feeling down etc I will ask them if they would like a hug. If I do initiate I always ask first. Like a few previous posters, if they need the affection I hate to turn them away. I want them to feel loved.
     
  39. SF_Giants66

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    Even as a middle school teacher, I would never work at a school that had a no hugging policy.

    The reasons are because many times students initiate hugs, and I think getting all freaked out that someone might accuse you of going after and touching the child over that would be too much pressure for me to deal with. Also, it would be kind of upsetting for me to be in an environment where the slightest show of affection would cause people to question if there are sexual motivations.

    I guess I'm just saying if they have that rigid policies on that, I wouldn't work at that school. If they don't, I would assume that nothing is wrong unless they make a big deal out of it, and then I'd ask them what exactly it was that I did wrong.
     
  40. Froreal3

    Froreal3 Companion

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    Yes. I sometimes initiate, but always hug back. I get on their level (I teach preschool/pre-k) and hug. If an older one initiates, I will hug back, but I don't initiate w/them.
     
  41. ktdclark

    ktdclark Comrade

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    As a primary grade teacher, I have kids hugging me all day long. So I am a hugger:)
    I hug kids when they give me gifts. I hug former students on yard duty if they initiate. I have little ones who hug me every morning as they come in the door and we do our good mornings...there is no way to avoid hugs in second grade!
     

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