Do you feel like your personal life/hardships effect your teaching?

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Kayla037, Apr 2, 2017.

  1. Kayla037

    Kayla037 Rookie

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    Apr 2, 2017

    This is my very first year of teaching, and it's been rough. All teachers tell me that this is all normal.

    However, I feel like I haven't been on my game at all this year. I went through a breakup last summer from a guy I was with for 5 years. It involved infidelity. I did seek professional help, which temporarily helped. I'm thankful it happened over the summer.

    Anyways, I've been feeling down a lot lately about the matter, as I heard my ex is moving away with the woman he is engaged to, the same woman he cheated on me with.

    The idea of going back to work tomorrow is gut wrenching.

    I got a reality check a few months ago when my kids told me I never laugh. I even had one kid tell me that I always have a dark cloud above me.

    I was never that person. I've always had a bubbly personality; I've always wanted to be a teacher. My heart is not in it at all this year.

    It's very upsetting because I thought landing a job after the breakup was the key to recovery and happiness for me.

    I thought about taking a LOA, but I need to keep busy. I have to admit though, I hate my job right now.

    When you were going through hardships, did it show at work? How do I keep a happy face? You'd think being around the kids would make me happy.

    I feel like this is one of the hardest jobs to have when undergoing personal things at home.
     
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  3. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Apr 2, 2017

    Oh, I'm so sorry you're going through this. You did the right thing by coming back here for some support as well as getting to counseling. This place is a great resource.

    I let my students know on a limited level if I'm having a rough day / week / time of it in general. When my grandfather passed away, I was honest about why I was sad. They were remarkable. You don't have to be specific. If you're feeling brave, let those students you're closest to know someone broke your heart and, while you love all the positive energy your class brings, it may take you a little bit of time to be your usual happy self. You may be surprised how these kiddos can rise to the occasion.
     
  4. CharRMS

    CharRMS Companion

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    Apr 2, 2017

    Yes, I think personal matters do effect teaching! Teachers are only human. It's hard sometimes to leave personal matters at the door before walking into the building: especially the big things.

    However, the bright side is that sometimes the kids are the ones that can help make your day better or provide you with a laugh or a smile. I have one student, in my first class, who leaves my room every day saying "I hope you have a great day Ms. CharRMS!" It makes me smile every time she does it! The kids are also good and making me laugh.

    Find something that make you feel happy or makes you smile and post that in your room. Maybe something that everyone can see or just you. I have an anchor decoration on my wall; it reminds me of the lake (one of my favorite places to be). I also have pictures that make me smile. Find something and put it somewhere you will see it. Also, find something to laugh about EVERYDAY with your students: maybe share a joke or a riddle or let them bring them in to you! Kids say some of the funniest things too; listen to them when they are chatting among friends and you will hear some funny things! Maybe you could also try bringing music in to your classroom?
     
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  5. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Apr 2, 2017

    Have you been evaluated for depression?
     
  6. Kayla037

    Kayla037 Rookie

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    Apr 3, 2017

    I was diagnosed with depression when I sought therapy over the summer. I denied medication and tried to just talk it out.

    I do feel as though my depression is not situational because I was depressed during my relationship, and I had no reason to be.

    Not sure how to handle this.
     
  7. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Apr 3, 2017

    After my late husband died, my classroom was my sanctuary as I didn't have time during the day to think about my situation. The drive to and from school was still hard as I had time for my mind to wander. But I was suffering from grief and not a chemical issue.

    Talk to your doctor.
     
  8. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Apr 3, 2017

    I love my job. When life hands me challenges my class is my respite. I have a good life, but even with blips I always keep in mind that it's My job EVERY DAY to be my best for ny kiddos

    If you are so affected by what has transpired and perhaps even an organic reason, please seek help.
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2017
  9. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Apr 3, 2017

    Why did you refuse medication? Might it be time to revisit that decision? Situational or not, if you've got a chemical imbalance going on, it might be hard to manage that without meds. For some people meds aren't necessary. For others they are. If you needed insulin to balance your blood sugar, you'd take that. If you need meds to balance your brain chemistry, it's at least worth considering.

    Depression and I go way back. I know I've started sliding down when I start to become unhappy doing things that otherwise make me happy. Meds work very well for me when I hit my lows.
     
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  10. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Apr 4, 2017

    It seems to me that you could benefit from regular sessions with your therapist. Depression is more than a break up with an ex affecting you this much.
     
  11. PetrMishikoff

    PetrMishikoff Rookie

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    May 7, 2017

    I agree - if students are noticing the situation, it may be manifesting in a very visible way. Have coworkers broach the subject? or any friendly coworkers? like any other profession, personal life do affect professional performance - that's what athletes mean their 'a-game.'
    if you refuse medication - some other sort of continued assistance is probably highly recommended.
     

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