Do you and your partner use joint accounts or separate accounts?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by orangetea, Dec 3, 2012.

  1. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    My fiancé and I are planning on having a joint account after we get married, but a lot of my colleagues are telling me that that's a bad idea because my fiancé does have some medical school loans and that I shouldn't have to help him pay. I know there are never any guarantees, but I do honestly believe that things will work out, so have no issue with helping him pay off the loans with my money also. I like the idea of it being "ours" not "mine" and "yours." Are there any other opinions on this?
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    DH and I have had a joint acct for 29 years. Its worked for us. Its smart to talk about finances as part of your marriage planning conversations.
     
  4. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Joint.

    My husband paid for my college almost completely on his own even while we were just "dating". As I started grad school and then additional work after marriage, that was paid for from our joint account.
     
  5. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    We've discussed them. :) I just wanted to hear how people are doing with both systems and about student loans.
     
  6. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Joint.

    If you're concerned about debt that your fiance might bring into the marriage, you might consider getting a pre-nup.
     
  7. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    We have two joint accounts that we manage separately. We manage our finances so that I pay certain bills and he pays others. It works for us.
     
  8. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    We have both joint and seperate accounts. It works well for us. A specific amount of money from our paychecks goes into the joint account to pay the mortgage, electric bill, etc. The rest of the money goes into our seperate accounts and we can pay for car insurance, gas, and personal items.
     
  9. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    We're planning to have three accounts --

    1. Our Account: Rent(and eventually mortgage), household cleaning supplies(laundry detergent, Febreeze, air freshner, candles, Windex, toilet bowl cleanser), groceries, toiletries(deodorant, toothpaste, toilet paper, Q-Tips, hand soap, sanitary products), utilities, cell phone bill, holiday gifts, cable

    2. His Account: video games & dvds, outings with the boys, new clothes & shoes, trips to the barbershop, lunch with his coworkers, loaning money to friends or family, cookbooks, recreational reading books, Netflix subscription (since I rarely watch it)

    3. My Account: books for my kindle, hairdresser, new clothes, outings with the girls, $50 monthly for my elderly aunt's nursing home bill, gas for car, make - up, nail polish

    It's worked for my parents for 30 years & my co-worker and his wife for 12. Plus it just makes sense to me.
     
  10. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    My BF & I plan on having a joint acct if we marry. My parents have for the 40 yrs they've been married.
     
  11. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    Well we just signed our prenup (yay!) so we will have the 3 accounts like Em_Catz described.

    Right now we have two-ish accounts. I have my USA accounts which I use to buy plane tickets and such. And my novio has a bank account where my paycheck is deposited into. Since that sort of became "our" account even though it's technically still just "his" he pays for everything "we" buy on that credit card. So rent, groceries, dinners, etc all come from that account.

    When we move back to the USA we plan on opening a joint account where paychecks will be deposited. I already have a Roth IRA which is "mine" and I hope to get my novio one when we move back as well.

    Basically, from here on out whatever we make is "ours". But the money/debts we had before is "his" and "mine". That's also basically what the prenup says. :thumb:
     
  12. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Joint
     
  13. Danny'sNanny

    Danny'sNanny Connoisseur

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    It works for us to have shared money but separate accounts. We have had people judge us for this, but it works.

    My checking - all the money goes into this, almost everything gets paid from this

    His checking - his fun money, and his student loan and gas are paid from this. We talk every payday about how much he needs and how much I should put in there.

    Our savings account

    I manage all the accounts, and the money is totally shared, but he is bad about random spending and doesn't like to be able to see extra money in his account.
     
  14. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Separate - to save our marriage - but we can transfer back and forth. Joint was a nightmare for us.
     
  15. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    We do this too.
     
  16. terptoteacher

    terptoteacher Connoisseur

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    1. We have a joint checking and savings account.
    2. Then each month we put some money into our own "mad money" accounts.

    All bills and mortgage are paid with the joint accounts and any fun things we want comes out of our own accounts.
     
  17. BettyRubble

    BettyRubble Rookie

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    We have separate checking accounts but our names are on both of them so we can transfer back and forth. It's just what I prefer because it's easier for me to keep track. I'm the one that writes the checks and I have things like the Target debit card that takes 3-4 days to come out of the account and since my husband doesn't keep a checkbook register of debits and only goes by what the current balance is online, he's not apt to remember that there might be outstanding payments. I'm currently a SAHM so I have no income coming in and usually just transfer money into my own account for spending after he gets paid. But we both have access to all of our accounts.
     
  18. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    Same for us. We had a lot of problems with money until we did separate accounts. We're a lot happier this way.
     
  19. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    We also have joint accounts, but each of us is responsible for our own account and certain bills. It has worked for us for 40 years, so I guess we will continue.
     
  20. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    Separate. We each pay different bills so I saw no need to go to the trouble to set up a new account.
     
  21. Chrissteeena

    Chrissteeena Companion

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    We have both.
    He has his checking/savings
    I have my checking/savings
    We have a joint checking/savings

    Our joint account is used as our "emergency fund" we both transfer money out of our checking into our ING account. The other bills for the house are paid out of our normal checking accounts. We pay different bills, so this works for us.

    We set the accounts up this way right before we got our first apartment together. It still works a few years later for the house and we will keep it after we get married.
     
  22. monsieurteacher

    monsieurteacher Aficionado

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    We do joint.
     
  23. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Yours, mine and ours

    All are joint accounts so online transferring is easy
    We know what's in all the accounts so there is no appearance of secrecy ALL checks go into the "ours" account we then transfer our "allowances" if there is a chance of a NSF we can transfer into any account that needs money
     
  24. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Separate.
    I've been judged for this. On this forum.
    But, separate.
     
  25. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    :thumb: you're off to a great start! So many couples focus on the wedding, one day instead of openly communicating about philosophies, dreams, finances, children, 'real life'...good for you!:love:
     
  26. chebrutta

    chebrutta Enthusiast

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    We have one household account. We both deposit money each paycheck to cover all household expenses.

    I have my own checking and savings; he has his own checking and savings. We both pay our sundries out of our own accounts (clothes, car payment, hobbies, etc).

    It work well for us - both of us were essentially cleaned out by our respective exs, so we prefer to keep separate accounts.
     
  27. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    Thanks czacza. :) It's definitely a lot too think about, but I'm glad we're communicating before. We aren't living together before the wedding for several reasons, so we want to make sure that we are on the same page.
     
  28. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    No judging here, ku. We do the same.
     
  29. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    I don't know why people would judge others on what kind of accounts they have with their spouse/partner. Unless they want to pay my bills...then I'll take their snooty advice :p
     
  30. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    Same here.
     
  31. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    This is what we do.
     
  32. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    As for as the judging those with separate accounts...

    I admit to every time this is brought up having the initial reaction of "That is so sad". Because of how wmy husband and I operate, my gut reaction is to feel that by having separate accounts there is something wrong, something missing. That there is a trust issue or an entitlement issue (for example, I earn more and thus I'm entitled to my bigger paycheck while you make do on your small one).

    And then, of course, every time I realize, "Duh, these are smart, fine people at A to Z! They're not being abused and manipulated. It works for them, clearly! :haha:

    So, honestly, I don't judge. But it takes me just a minute for my we little brain to process it. Haha.
     
  33. teachin4ever

    teachin4ever Cohort

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    Joint.
     
  34. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    In the states we had a joint account. Here our employer set us each up with our own account and we haven't changed it.
     
  35. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

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    Joint
    We agreed at engagement that what's mine is ours. That doesn't work for everyone, but we've had zero problems with it.

    If you decide to go separate, be sure to agree on the 'what if' you go to one income. One income could happen with job loss, personal health, health of a child, etc.
     
  36. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    We have a joint account. We did make verbal agreements about how we will handle certain situations. In 17 years, we've stuck to it.

    There was one point that he wanted to refinance a prior loan of his under my name because I could get a better deal. That I did not do. The loan was a large one. It has since then been paid off so neither of us have any debt.
     
  37. yearroundteach

    yearroundteach Companion

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    This is what we do as well. It works great for us. I manage the joint account and pay all household bills out of it. Then any of our "wants" we pay out of our own personal accounts so we can make sure not to overspend. If I want something that is more costly than what I have in my account he either gives me money from his account or I put it on our credit card that we both pay off. And vice versa if there is a large item he wants to buy.

    We also have 2 savings accounts we both contribute to monthly. One is for vacations, big purchases for the house, home improvements, etc. and the other is the emergency account that we never touch.

    I see the idea behind having one large joint account but that just seems like a logistical nightmare for us. When I go out on a random shopping spree and spend hundreds for really no reason and without a plan (which I've been know to do :blush:) I wouldn't have to wonder if he happened to do the same thing on the same day and whether we have enough money. I know that's unlikely but the what ifs would drive my OCD brain crazy. That's really the only reason we don't just have one joint account.
     

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