Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by lothia_man, May 1, 2009.
May 2, 2009
token....on the same token she just be hotter than me...
Okay, I had to go back and read the original question--Do women expect men to support them? My answer is yes. What young girl doesn't expect her prince to come on a white horse and take her away? From there, it is up to the couple to decide how to live. The model that most couples have is for the man to bring in more money. That is why I answered yes. Does it always happen, no. I gave you my opinion based upon my experiences. Yes, I am older and have a lot more experiences than someone who is 21, but you asked, and I answered. I thought you wanted to know my opinion. For those of you who need to know, I am one year older than Irish Dave.
The model that most couples have is also for the guy to look better than the girl...if were are going to follow the whole "guy brings home the bacon model"
I appreciate your opinion. However, I am just stating what guys who want to support a women expect in return......shes gotta be hotter than him. That's probably not what you want to hear though.
Lothia, No, that is not what I want to hear. I guess I don't understand the model you speak of. Are you saying that you will marry for looks, not love?
And, FYI, I have worked for our entire marriage. My husband has always made more than I have, even though he did not go to college, and I did. He was trained to be a manager, and now works at a community college in managment--in one of those "custodian type jobs" mentioned in another thread.
Girls who are looking for a guy to support them...get the guys who want a girl hotter than them...
thats just how it is.
mmm. I have not noticed this. But, I must admit. I do not know many women who stay at home.
I wonder if you could benefit from hanging out with a group of teachers? When I was in college, college was all I knew. When I got my first job, was it ever a shock. Goals, values, expectations, beliefs, and outlooks on life change. Talk to me in 30 years and see if you still feel the same.
May 3, 2009
If you are referring to me, asking "how old is she", I don't need to know how old you are. I only asked Lothia man because of the assumption he made below.
That is not fact. I think it is a totally wrong assumption. Anyone could have the name Old Teacher....doesn't necessarily mean they are old fashioned or over the age of 21. Possible, yes; certain, no.
Good Grief! I haven't had anything with lemon in it or lemonade in about a year.
lemonhead, sorry if I came across as insensative. Yes, I am old enough to be lothia man's grandmother. In spite of that I feel I am pretty tolerant of all opinions and life styles.
My generation is the generation that is running the world right now. When the recent college graduates interview for a jobs, they will have to answer to my generation--as they will be doing the interviewing and hiring.
And, when the college graduates enter the work force, they are sucked into reality--rent/mortgage, car payments, gas, living expenses. At that point, their focus upon the world changes, and reality sets in. Opinions, values, and perceptions will change as their needs change.
Each generation has their turn to influence and run the world, but you have to earn it.
That's all, I am out of this discussion.
My husband is an engineer who would love to teach and probably will one day. Different things are important to you in different stages of your life. I had only taught for one year when I found out during the summer that I was pregnant for my DD. I immediately developed problems and was put on total bed rest. I was only 23 at the time but we also found out that if we wanted to have more children, it would be then or never so my career was put on hold some more. I ended up with 3 children by the time I was 26 years old. We also decided that we wanted one of us home with the children so I stayed home. It was an easy decision, my husband was an engineer and I was a teacher so he made more money than I did. Since he has worked continuously, he is elgibile to retire earlier than I am or even want to so at that point in our lives he will be home while I am working. I love him and he loves me and it does not matter who earns more money, it only matters that we and our children have everything that we need and these needs are not necessarily always financial needs.
I am trying to figure out what looks have to do with how much money one makes or one mate supporting another. My husband and I support each other in more ways than financially. When a person is with another person just for looks or finances then chances are their relationship will not lasts. My husband has a niece who is an anesthesiologist and she just brought home her boyfriend who is a teacher. I would say if they were to get married, she would definitely be the one to bring home more money and if they are ok with that then everyone else should be.
My mother was a SAHM but I can guarantee you our family would not have made it without her. She was the bookkeeper, housekeeper, doctor, nurse, counselor and much more to our family. Though, she did not bring money home, she was priceless in our family. My father never paid one bill in his life.
I think our little 21 year old has a lot of growing up to do.
Seriously, where are you getting this "model"?? Guys want only hot wives? Hotter than they are? Women only want men with big paychecks? Did I miss and exit and step into some alternate universe? I have seen so many couples where the guys is better looking or both are equally attractive. I have known many couples with the wives bringing in a bigger percentage of the finances. Money is important in our society, but I think the majority of us can agree that it is NOT the most important thing. If I'm going to spend the next 5, 10, 25, 40 years with a person I'm going to be looking at their VALUES, BELIEFS, conversation abilities, caring quotient, sense of humor, chemistry, acceptance of others, etc. The person is far more important that that body or the paycheck. I have to say this whole conversation is making me rather thankful I don't look like Julia Roberts or Catherine Zeta Jones. Being average means I won't have to worry about turning the heads of guys who are only looking for a hottie, and therefore I won't have to worry about said guys wanting to trade me in for a newer model when the signs of age start to creep up. But it also makes me discouraged to think that there might be a lot of other guys out there who wouldn't even be willing to give me a chance simply because I'm no knockout. Their (your) loss though.
So at the risk of sounding mean spirited here is my wish for you. May you one day find the drop dead gorgeous lady of your dreams, and may you fall head over heels in love with her. May she decide she wants absolutely nothing to do with you, not because of you paycheck, but because of what appears to be your skewed and narrow view of others.
No you totally misunderstood me. I personally go for a girl based on her personaility. HOWEVER,a guy going for like engineering might value a femals looks a little bit more....
You totally mis-interupt things.
The fact that this thread has gone on for 10 pages with you still saying the same things (guys want hotties, girls want paychecks) and not seeming to reassess seems to suggest otherwise. If it is not you, why are you so hung up on this?
It seems to me that each person has his or her own definition of what a successful marriage entails. Maybe we should all step down and accept that our definitions vary and no one definition is more "correct" than the next -- there is simply a definition that suits each couple best.
I know that in my marriage, income and looks do not come first by any means. However for another couple, this may very well be the case. I think the important thing is that we marry someone with similar values in order to have a successful marriage, and from there it matters little what others think.
I just have to interject that you come across as very immature and shallow. Here's to hoping you mature before marrying.
I think lothia_man had a goal in starting this thread......... and he's accomplished his goal several times over.......
I'm stepping out of this conversation. I was thinking the same thing Major after I had posted my above comments.
I think everything could be said has been said. I'm closing this and admistration can decide whether to leave it closed.