Do women still expect men to support them and a family?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by lothia_man, May 1, 2009.

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  1. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    well, you didn't just accept her answer you had to make a slam towards her.
    Old fashioned beliefs can be very good! ;)


    ***

    A few have already said this and I agree...be sure you and your loved one/significant other discuss your financial and school/work goals before marrying. For some, it WILL make a difference and they might want to wait until one is done with school before making the plunge.
     
  2. lothia_man

    lothia_man Rookie

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    Ya, I dont think I will ever go for a PHD.

    Isnt a masters like 20 classes? How did you get your masters in two and a half years taking 1-2 classes a semester?
     
  3. lothia_man

    lothia_man Rookie

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    Ya you got me there. My oldest friend is actualyl 45(he drives my bus haha) and he is really old fashioned to. Even on his 28k salary, he feels he should support the women. Cool guy though...

    He is 300 pounds making 28k a year and somehow picked up a 35 year old hot babe...and is now married to her.


    I guess it depends on the family.
     
  4. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Lothia, just how old are you (if you don't mind me asking)??? :D
     
  5. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Call me old fashioned too if you want (& I'm still pretty young!) But, I prefer that the husband makes more, whether it's the year 1950 or 2050.
     
  6. lothia_man

    lothia_man Rookie

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    21 graduating at 23. It's not like I am a teenager hahaha.

    Ya, I do get some crap fellow female classmates saying that teaching is a bad career for men(even though I volunteer and love it).

    They tell me I should of done something better that would make me REAL money like...a business degree.


    Something tells me I will be better off than most of my business degree friends after college lol....got a business degree friend who still works at petco. She went to a decent school too.


    The thing is. You can't make anymore then 50k-60k a year with a college degree right now unless it is in:


    -engineering
    -healthcare
    -the pharmacy field
    -something in managment
    -doctor
    -engineering(again)
    -nursing
    -engineering(yet again)
    -Did I mention engineering?
    -maybe law school(but theres way too many lawyers)
    -engineering
    -engineering
    -mechanical engineering
    -chemical engineering
    -civil engineering
    -ENGINEERING:)

    Let me think...about %2 of the 100 guys I know are going for engineering because it's a really difficult major...%1 are going to become doctor....%5 are going into pharmacy....and maybe 10% of the 50 business majors I know will become managers.


    A business degree is pretty worthless right now hahaha. Ya, I know it sounds mean. However, I have way too many friends that go for a like a degree in accounting....and dont get jobs.

    So, that means that only 17% of the college students that I know are going for lucrative fields that can support a wife and kids...


    What will happen to all the girls that don't get with that 17%? Will they just not get married?


    I have about 4 friends(Im quite likable depsite having aspergers) that make the income that a lot of these females in the thread would prefer.

    I won't lie....they are picky(especially in the looks department) when looking for a girlfriend. You will have to be super pretty,a good mom, have an awesome personaility, and a lot of other stuff to get with these 70k-80k income making guys.
     
  7. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    :lol:I just want any one of us to make more! I don't care who brings home the bigger paycheck, just bring it home!
     
  8. lothia_man

    lothia_man Rookie

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    I know it's odd that I have friends ranging from 20-45...and im 21 hahahahaha

    The 45 year old I dont really HANG out with. I got a pal who is 37 I hang out with....he's awesome!

    Ironically his wife is a pharmarcist and he is a teacher.hahahahaha
     
  9. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    How old is she? :)
     
  10. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    What if you are madly in love with someone and this is the case? Would you really rather be equally poor than be the main breadwinner?

    I used to make way more money at a previous job than I do now. My husband got laid off and was stressing because he couldn't find a job. We were fine financially but he still wanted to contribute so he took a lesser job. For quite a while he made way less than I did and the burdon of the mortgage etc was pretty much "on me" I guess. There was NO WAY I would have ever considered myself better off without him. There is so much more to life than bills and jobs.
     
  11. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Why did you change your user-name Lothia Man?
     
  12. DallasTeacher

    DallasTeacher Companion

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    First, doctors have a minimum of 8 years of post high school education -- minimum 4 years/undergraduate degree, then 4 years of medical school, then residency/fellowship if necessary.The costs involved to become a physician aren't even close to those of a teacher. As such, nor should the salaries.

    Attorneys, 4 years of post high school education -- minimum 4/undergraduate degree, then 3 years of law school

    I know several recent business grads who are starting at more than 50,000 down here in Texas

    My second son will be graduating next year from Stanford's Graduate School of Business. He will be working as an intern this summer in NY and will earn over 50,000 for the summer alone. Yes, I know the business wants him after, but there is no guarantee...it's just a summer internship.
     
  13. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    DallasTeacher- that is absolutely wonderful about your son. What an exciting time for you all.:)
     
  14. DallasTeacher

    DallasTeacher Companion

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    We are so excited for him! We pay have paid his bills along the way, but he's worked hard for his grades and still volunteered. The company is putting him up this summer in a company apartment and he's "invited" mom and dad to come up. I can't wait until he sees the taxes taken out of his paycheck. They've got all kinds of events planned for their interns. I was surprised with all the news on the economy but apparently "recruiting" is still alive and well.
     
  15. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    ? What do you mean, Lemonhead? LothiaMan changed his user-name from what?
    :confused:
     
  16. lothia_man

    lothia_man Rookie

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    It's pretty hard to go to a really expensive school like that and not get a job....even in a oversaturated field like business. However, all my friends going to like "University of Colorado" are struggling to get jobs.

    I am suprised you know several recent business graduates that are starting at 50,000 dollars a year in Texas. I should tell my 50 somethnig friends who have business degrees to Texas...because it's pretty impossible to do something with a business degree out here in Colorado.


    All I know is that most of my friends who have business degrees are working low end jobs. One of them even has a degree from "University of Denver" a well known school....look it up lol


    I really find it difficult that you know plenty of people with business degrees making 50k a year starting...considering that's what an engineer makes. They don't need to pay business majors that much because there are litterly 1,000 of em for each position. Business is probably the most saturated field out there.


    Bottom line: your son is probably the top of his class and lucked out...I admire him for that.:cool:


    Also, if he is in New York City....he is going to get paid more lol.
     
  17. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Because the cost of living in and around NYC is through the roof.

    The monthly rent on a studio in NYC would get you a mortgage on a very nice house in many parts of the country.

    So, like so many other things, it's relative.
     
  18. lothia_man

    lothia_man Rookie

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    Yes, I know that. So, 50k a year probably doesnt go very far in NYC. Anyway, I am really having a hard time believing that she knows many business majors making 50k a year starting in Texas because SOOOO many people have them...

    Supply and demand....I really don't think they need to pay 50k a year to hire a business major....more like 35k a year.

    Too many people have them lol. I swear I know at least 10 business majors that arent friends and 50 more on top of that who ARE friends. It's probably the easiest major you can go for lol.
     
  19. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Honestly, I don't see why you are worrying about what OTHER people make. Just try your best to get a job when you graduate and take what comes. Am I the only one who thinks lothia is getting a bit ahead of himself? :confused:
     
  20. lothia_man

    lothia_man Rookie

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    I think I am getting a bit ahead of myself too:unsure:


    This was a semi vent thread. I get a bit of crap from female classmates thinking I am "unsuccesful" because im going into teaching
     
  21. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    I don't see it as any of their business :unsure:
     
  22. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    If it's all about financial success for them, I would question (no, not to their faces) their reasons for getting into the field.

    Big picture: many, MANY other professions pay far better than teaching. Anyone going into it for the perks is bound to end up disappointed. It's NOT a job you can do unless you LOVE it.
     
  23. lothia_man

    lothia_man Rookie

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    I do love it:cool::cool:
     
  24. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Good question Lemon ....... I'm also curious about that.
     
  25. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    I did not say that I EXPECT him to support me, but that I wished, for a short time, that it was possible...and now that it IS possible, it's not what I want. And as for college for my kids, I want them to be able to go to any college they want to, if they want to, live as far away as possible, if they want to, and graduate with no loans to pay off. That's my goal. It may not happen, but I'm working hard toward it. I think it gives them the best start in their adult lives.
     
  26. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Actually, I meant the female classmates who are questioning your success level.

    And, by the way, I'm married to a teacher, and couldn't be happier!
     
  27. DallasTeacher

    DallasTeacher Companion

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    I'm not sure where some of you are coming from...but statistics from several Texas Universities -- UT, TAM, and SMU show that education majors have the lowest SAT scores upon entering school. The business school at UT is very competitive and that is where I know students graduating with degrees and have starting jobs paying at least $50,000 annually. I can name at least 10 who are going to work for EDS and will earn more than $50,000 starting pay. My son isn't earning $50,000 for a year, he's earning it for less than 3 months -- June - August. Also, he will NOT have the expense of an apartment, as he will be staying at a company apartment. I stated above that I was surprised at the offer because of the economy! My son has not graduated as I stated above, he has another year to go!

    Liberal arts majors are the normally the low man on the pay scale. Engineering majors are averaging a starting pay of around $60,000. I realize the market may be different in Texas due to the oil industry, but when one does a google search on starting salaries, it seems like what I'm hearing from kids I've written recommendations for is pretty close to the national average. I've seen many of the portfolios put together by students both graduating and those wanting internships. All have included recommendation letters on both a professional and personal basis.

    Here's a link to an article I just found:
    http://www.naceweb.org/salarysurvey/sscover0109.htm

    I also sit on two different scholarship committees and I will say that attitude, accomplishments, grades, and volunteering is very important.
     
  28. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Lothia - the girls who are giving you crap are shallow and not the kind of girls you want to have in your life. Shallow girls are out there everywhere. Shallow guys too, like you mentioned, who want the looks above the substance.

    I personally admire men who go into teaching. They are so needed. There are so many kids without a strong male authority in their lives, you could really make a difference for them.

    Date girls who are a little more realistic and down to earth. My husband is in a profession that earns very little money. I knew when I married him we would never have much. I am happy with what we do have. We have one piece of furniture in our home that we got brand new, as a wedding gift. For years, we did not go on vacations, so I could stay home and raise our kids.

    Staying home was what we both wanted - why have kids for someone else to raise them? And we knew in 20 years we would not remember the dinners out that we missed, the vacations we didn't go on, or the clothes we did not have. I cooked at home. I shopped carefully. We saved money.

    My point - yes, each couple has to work it out for themselves. But for me, having my husband support me was not about having lots of money or things. It was about him being the one to take the responsibility for the family, and he did it willingly, working two jobs for years, so I could raise our kids, keep the home running, and decrease the stress in our lives. We did without a lot of things, but I never missed those things. We were judged harshly by a lot of people, including "friends" who wondered why I only had 2 nice outfits for church, or why we never bought a new car.


    And by the way, since we learned to live frugally, we have never had any debt. With the economy the way it is now, all our years of doing without and not running up debt have come in handy. Meanwhile, those "friends" who had so much are on the verge of bankruptcy.

    Hold your head up high and go into the profession that is calling you. There is no reason you couldn't support a wife once you get things in place, if you are both willing to cut out the high life. (by the way, unless your wife earns a whole lot of money, you will be paying her paycheck out in daycare costs, work wardrobe, lattes, and continuing ed!).
     
  29. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    PS - I don't think your comment to Old Teacher was out of line becasue I don't think it was meant to be rude, but it does show you are not open minded. Just because someone has been teaching a long time does not mean you can predict her thinking on certain topics. That is called prejudging.

    It also shows you are naive. We all accept each other on here and we all expect to learn from each other. So take care not to prejudge just from a screen name or from previous comments.
     
  30. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Debt is tough when you lose a job; that's for sure.

    bonne- I just sent you a PM.
     
  31. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Well This old teacher was about to say something bonneb you beat me to it

    Now let me say something old school
    lothia_man you should want to support a wife, in the past it was the man who supported the wife
    because if the wife is with child there will be some time where she will not be working or you may be the one not working
    I am now a stay at home dad (if you can call a teenager one who needs a parent at home)
    I get a pension and SS so the wife is making money but I am supporting the family still


    when you both work, sometimes it is "his money" and "her money" it almost gets like roommates with privileges.
    I know of a few men teachers who's wives do not work and they qualify for food stamps.
     
  32. dizzykates

    dizzykates Habitué

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    I don't expect my husband to support me, but we discussed how we feel about someone staying home with our kids while they are young. The more I teach, the more strongly I feel that I should be home with our kids when we have them. I went to daycare my entire life, I am no worse for it, but I feel we should be the ones raising our children. That may mean our lifestyle changes, but it is a goal and I hope we achieve it. It has very little with me expecting him to support me, but rather how we would like our children raised. It's a values call and if he is more able to stay home than I, then so be it.
     
  33. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    It is not what you make, but how you handle your money. My ex made more than me and we were worse off financially because he was a spender. My new husband and I make about the same and we are better off financially than I have ever been in my life. What we expect is that we are supportive to one another and do what we can to make our household run smoothly. We never look at who makes the most money, but we strive hard to make our home happy.
     
  34. lothia_man

    lothia_man Rookie

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    If we are going to go by that mate...then I should also WANT my wife to be hotter than me....that's similar thinking
     
  35. Irishdave

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    she will be hotter I hope!

    Ok now this thread is about making money and being hot
    :lol:


     
  36. Blue

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    lothia man, yes, I have been around a long time, and have old fashioned values, but live by a set of values based upon my beliefs. Keep that in mind when you disucss today's values and beliefs that not everyone will agree with you. I have worked with many groups who had different sets of values, and had no problem respecting them. Gosh, I think that is what diversity is.
     
  37. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    I still think old fashioned values beat today's values hands down :)
     
  38. lothia_man

    lothia_man Rookie

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    What no? You missed my entire point lol.:haha:


    My point is that if I were to follow that philosophy(support the wife)...I would want my wife to be hotter than me as a sake tolkien

    thats usually how it works.


    thats how all my friends who are going into lucrative fields are operating.
     
  39. frogger

    frogger Devotee

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    I don't think expect is the right word - or if that's what you are hearing from girls then they are the wrong girls for you!

    It is more about you and who you are with and what you both see as a good relationship and how you both work it out.

    I was raised in a home where my dad supported my mom and us, she stayed home and raised us, however, my mom did take care of the finances and paid the bills. It worked for them and that's what you need to do is find what works for you and whoever you end up with as well.
     
  40. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    You missed my pun

    "tolkien"? "The Lord of the Rings" Tolkien?
     
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