Do people you know (or maybe you) prefer to not have visitors

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by TennisPlayer, May 18, 2013.

  1. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 18, 2013

    if they are in the hospital?

    My parents are both this way so I have never seen them in a hospital if they are thw patient. My mom just had a brain procedure done yesterday and has been there all week. I know I will see her soon when she gets home but I have to accept they both didnt want visitors because of all the med people coming in or trying to rest when they can. My dad was in a hosp a few years ago fora few months out of state and didnt want us to visit...

    I am the kind of person where I would want to visit people to show I care and love them and keep them company even if it is a short visit.


    Do others you know or yourself prefer to not have visitors ?
     
  2.  
  3. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2011
    Messages:
    3,224
    Likes Received:
    147

    May 18, 2013

    I would want my family there. Otherwise I would feel so alone. My grandma is in ICU, totally out of it. Our family is still there everyday.
     
  4. sevenplus

    sevenplus Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,675
    Likes Received:
    39

    May 18, 2013

    I've been in the hospital twice (for 3 days each time) and had lots of visitors both times. It really helped pass the time.

    I don't see how an adult child would really be considered a visitor. I mean, if your mom needs to rest, she can do it with you sitting in the room. It's not like she needs to be a hostess.

    I'm not saying you should go. If they really don't want visitors I guess respecting their wishes is good. But I can't imagine not going to see one of my parents in the hospital. Although my dad's the type that wouldn't even let us know he was in the hospital.
     
  5. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 18, 2013

    my dad has been there everyday....
     
  6. stampin'teacher

    stampin'teacher Cohort

    Joined:
    May 15, 2011
    Messages:
    607
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 18, 2013

    sevenplus, my dad is exactly the same way. My parents don't mind visitors, but when my dad had to go in for an invasive biopsy he was scheduled to stay 2-3 days. He had scheduled this weeks in advance, and I happen to find out the day before! He didn't think it was important enough to "burden" his kids with.

    I think it depends on the procedure. I definitely enjoyed seeing people after my c-section. Being in a hospital makes time slow down like molasses. But I didn't want visitors until the next day because I didn't want to feel like I was entertaining them. Although my parents still dropped by...

    TennisPlayer, are your parents the type to not want people to see them in a vulnerable state? Maybe they just don't want you to worry about them, so it's easier if they see you once they return home?
     
  7. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 18, 2013

    Yes I think so plus all the med staff coming in and out

    My mom loves talking on the phone though so we have been in touch that way!
     
  8. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2005
    Messages:
    5,655
    Likes Received:
    1,168

    May 18, 2013

    I don't care for visitors. The times I've been hospitalized, I was sick and in no mood for entertaining visitors. Once I got home, I needed to rest, not answer the phone or the door and retell my story multiple times.
     
  9. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

    Joined:
    May 13, 2004
    Messages:
    5,851
    Likes Received:
    152

    May 18, 2013

    I have never had to be in the hospital overnight myself, thank God...only a 1-day surgery once. The only people who would actually visit me are my parents & BF anyway, so it's OK if they do.

    The only people I've ever had to visit in the hospital were my parents a couple of times for pretty much minor things, thank God again, so they're definitely fine with their one & only daughter visiting them.
     
  10. a2z

    a2z Maven

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    5,890
    Likes Received:
    1,812

    May 18, 2013

    My youngest was hospitalized and other than a few visitors, she really didn't want anyone. She had work to do while in the hospital. Between the walks and the treatments and the constant medical staff in and out of the room, there wasn't much time for visiting. In addition, she was tired, tired, tired. While a short visit from someone was nice and near the end of the stay a long visit from a few friends, she really didn't want company for which she felt she had to stay awake and interact with.
     
  11. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2007
    Messages:
    2,007
    Likes Received:
    12

    May 18, 2013

    If I was in the hospital I would only want close family to visit and A best friend, Oh and my minister (after all thats his/her job LOL)
     
  12. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2007
    Messages:
    5,621
    Likes Received:
    5

    May 18, 2013

    It depends on why I'm hospitalized. When I was in perinatal ICU, I wanted visitors. I felt fine, but the survival of my babies (three different high risk pregnancies) depended on me staying in bed hooked up to a bunch of IV's and machines to monitor things. I was bored out of my mind and grew to hate television. The meds I was on messed with my vision so I couldn't read, and I could only spend a short amount of time sitting up enough to use the computer. With my youngest, I was there for 12 weeks, which is a horribly long time to do nothing.

    When I've been hospitalized because I was sick I didn't really want visitors. What I wanted was somebody to pop in once or twice a day to make sure that things were still going okay and to make sure there weren't any problems with the medical staff. If I had an issue with a nurse or a tech or something, that person could help me handle the hospital to get the issue resolved. I did not want a whole bunch of people in and out keeping me from resting.

    The two of my children that are affected by MHE are very different in terms of what they want. William wants people there all day every day. Matthew is more like me: he wants somebody in shouting distance, but prefers to be alone.
     
  13. sue35

    sue35 Habitué

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2007
    Messages:
    897
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 18, 2013

    When I am in the hospital I do not want any visitors, other than my husband. I would be very upset if someone did not respect my wishes on this. My parents are the same way, so maybe I got it from them
     
  14. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2005
    Messages:
    3,591
    Likes Received:
    3

    May 19, 2013

    I would just want my mommy. She has passed away, so I would have to cope by myself.
     
  15. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2008
    Messages:
    4,617
    Likes Received:
    1,215

    May 19, 2013

    I don't think I would want a lot of visitors. Some people seem to feel obligated to visit people and just end up standing around, not knowing what to say, etc. As long as I was able to read I would be content with staying alone or maybe having my husband visit.
     
  16. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2012
    Messages:
    1,841
    Likes Received:
    51

    May 19, 2013

    When I was in the hospital I was completely embarrassed when my family (mom, dad and siblings) came to visit. Of course they had to, but I was totally embarrassed. I looked like crap, of course, I smelled bad, I was an emotional wreck and crying, I was completely venerable, peeing in a bedpan... it was not pretty. I think if they didn't come I would have been super disappointed. But it didn't stop me from feeling embarrassed while they were there.
     
  17. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    3,707
    Likes Received:
    284

    May 19, 2013

    Close family, close friends and that is it. Due to severe complications, I was in the hospital for two weeks with the birth of my youngest daughter, and I had to ask the nursing staff to turn people away; it was a military base and they had no trouble following my request!
     
  18. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 24, 2008
    Messages:
    3,513
    Likes Received:
    15

    May 19, 2013

    Husband and parents, that's it.
    I've told my friends.

    I HATE hospitals (I have fainted more than once while visiting).

    When my dad had open-heart surgery, I had a VERY difficult time being in the room with him. I wanted to be there, but I was such a mess. I stayed in the waiting room for days. Seeing my dad in that condition was too much, plus dealing with a fainting response in medical settings.

    I know the time is coming that I will need to be with my parents in the hospital, I'm not sure what I will do. I will do what I need to do, but it is a true concern.
     
  19. Bella2010

    Bella2010 Habitué

    Joined:
    May 1, 2010
    Messages:
    807
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 19, 2013

    When I had DS, I only wanted DH, Mom and Dad, and/or my sister. Now, it was a birth, so of course that didn't happen, lol. I woke up to see nine people in my room. :eek:

    Beth
     
  20. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 19, 2013

    My mom came home today but it will prob be this next weekend before I see her at their house!
     
  21. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2005
    Messages:
    4,896
    Likes Received:
    5

    May 20, 2013

    I hate hospitals. I try to visit everyone in it at least once. I visited my mom twice when she had minor surgery and she was totally shocked.
     
  22. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2005
    Messages:
    4,896
    Likes Received:
    5

    May 20, 2013

    :)
     
  23. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Messages:
    1,150
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 20, 2013

    I think if I had a "simple" procedure or an minor injury/illness, then I would be okay with anyone who wants to visit coming to see me.

    But if it's something major, like I were on a respirator, had just had a breast removed, cancer, complications with my pregnancy (or even lost my child), etc, then I would only want CLOSE family and CLOSE friends to be there. Anyone else would feel like a gawker just there to be nosy. If I were in a coma, I would want people to visit and talk to me.

    It's so funny you ask this question because my girl friend and I were discussing it the other day. I have a relative in the hospital right now in critical condition and i was telling her that I feel guilty going out and doing stuff instead of staying glued to her side.

    My friend was like, "Imagine it was you in the bed. Would you want people by your side constantly crying over you and staring at you? It's okay to go often, but the person needs space too. Just like it's hard for you to see them suffering, it's hard for them to see YOU seeing THEM suffer."
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. MrsC,
  2. ready2learn,
  3. CaliforniaRPCV,
  4. YoungTeacherGuy,
  5. Dobrien
Total: 418 (members: 7, guests: 393, robots: 18)
test