Do people who are not teachers ever give you advice about teaching?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Ms.Holyoke, Jul 23, 2018.

  1. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Connoisseur

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    I don't know if it is just me, but it seems like people who are not teachers always give me advice about teaching! I'm not sure why it is but I find it super annoying. Yesterday I was having lunch with my friend and she was telling me how I should use timed tests with my kids and more advice. I told my mom about my classroom management struggles in my student teaching and she wanted me to buy my students candy. It feels like my friends who are teachers are the only ones who get it!
     
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  3. Tyler B.

    Tyler B. Groupie

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    Since everyone's been a student, many often think they know what teachers should do. Get used to it. Often these purveyors of unwanted advice are trying to be helpful. Some are trying to gain an advantage for their child. Some are spot on.
     
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  4. mathmagic

    mathmagic Enthusiast

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    Sometimes. Though usually it's out of a good place in their heart, so if it doesn't make sense whatsoever, I just smile and move on. Sometimes I'll actually talk about how an idea likely will or won't work, or why I currently do it differently.

    We should always assume positive intentions, but also trust ourselves as educators and even teach others giving the advice if needed ;)
     
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  5. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    Typically people give advice out of the goodness of their heart, so don’t be too hard on them. It is just one of the hazards of being around people not in the same career. It happens both ways. I’m sure teachers give their non-teacher friends bad advice, too.

    My EX’s family was horrible about making snarky comments about why I was tired or wanted to stay home on the weekend because how hard can it be to work 8 to 3, have summers & snow days off, and sit behind a desk telling kids what to do all day. UGH. They didn’t understand mental tiredness because they were all in careers where that wasn’t an issue.
     
  6. Aces

    Aces Habitué

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    Yeah exactly this isn't a physically demanding job it's mental. It's alot of small stuff that adds up.

    My hubby beats the devil for offering unsolicited advice. I just smile and nod and give him the look that says "I love you but you're an idiot ".
     
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  7. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    ,
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2019
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  8. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Groupie

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    I don't get any advice, I just get stories from people about how bad they were at math like its a badge of honor for them.
     
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  9. shoreline02

    shoreline02 Cohort

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    I hear ya. I once declined going out with my boyfriend's family because I had a bunch of stuff to grade and catch up on. His sister's response was, "I can help you put stickers on the top of their papers!" Sorry sister but I teach 5th grade science, there's a little more to it then putting stickers or smiley faces on the top of their papers. *major eye roll*
     
  10. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    I originally said I wouldn’t want to marry a teacher because I’d like to get away from school. However, I’m not going to get away anyway, so I might as well have someone who understands. My DH has been in teaching as long as I have been. We are both in positions where everyone is looking at your progress. (English and Math) He understands, and it is awesome. He switched out of math two years ago, but he was 20+ years in a high-stress position, so he knows.

    Today we are in his classroom working. Yesterday we were in mine. We work in different districts, so we can compare stories. Very much the same.
     
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  11. Aces

    Aces Habitué

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    Yes you're right. I'm a science teacher.
     
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  12. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Connoisseur

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    I subbed in the early grades too and I was always exhausted at the end of the day. 1st grade was the hardest for me because there was no other adult like Kindergarten. I definitely couldn't do that job!!
     
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  13. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    ,
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2019
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  14. ChildWhisperer

    ChildWhisperer Groupie

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    I don't get advice TOO much, but my husband just doesn't seem to understand why I want to just SIT until bedtime! Um, I work with preschoolers, I'm EXHAUSTED after work!
    And I used to work in daycare, so I don't know how I did that year-round for less pay!
     
  15. Elisabet Esteva

    Elisabet Esteva Rookie

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    the little ones are very demanding
     
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  16. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    Back when I taught students with intellectual disabilities and emotional disturbances, I suffered bruises, bite marks, hair-pulling, and earrings pulled out of my ears. I also had to chase the "runners" who tried to leave the building and had to restrain a few students who were a danger to themselves or others. In doing so, I hit my head on cabinet. I filled out more than my share of worker's compensation documentation forms, and I was sent to urgent care once.

    Sped absolutely can be both physically and mentally demanding.
     
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  17. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    ,
     
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  18. waterfall

    waterfall Virtuoso

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    This happened to me more as a newer teacher- I'm not sure if that was just the nature of people I was friends with at the time (I now live in a different location) or just because I was new. My current friends are very supportive and don't try to give advice.

    My parents are both teachers also, which can be a double edged sword. Sometimes their advice has been good, but the frustrating thing is that my dad works in one of the highest SES districts in the state, and my mom worked in a private school. I work in a very low SES school in a state that doesn't fund education anywhere near like my home state does. The challenges are very different. My dad would always talk about things that work at his school, but I know would never work at mine. A few years ago, they came to visit (I live across the country) and begged to come to school with me one day. That day was very eye opening for them! I haven't gotten much advice since then. By 9:00 AM, my dad said, "You work a lot harder than I do. I could never do this."
     
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  19. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    Non-teachers giving teaching advice is akin to back-seat drivers. Everyone has an opinion, whether it is right or wrong. I, for one, smile, nod, and give the advice all the attention I feel it deserves. No need to be nasty, but also no need to take notes on their suggestions. You'll find that attitude will do wonders for you over the years. Remember, not every teacher has all the right answers, and not every nonteacher will be all wrong.
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2018
  20. blazer

    blazer Connoisseur

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    All the time, especially politicians!:mad:
     
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  21. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    So true. I've never been given advice about teaching from those who I know and love, but the general public, and especially political policy makers know all about what I should be doing in my classroom.
     
  22. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    I don't talk about anything teaching related to people who are not teachers or who work somewhere in the education field. It's just not worth it. If people ask me how school is going I just say great!
     
  23. rpan

    rpan Cohort

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    I don’t have people trying to give me advice on teaching, partly because I don’t pour my teaching ‘woes’ out to non teachers - I don’t think they will truly empathise. But I do get a lot of people who are envious of my long holiday breaks, saying they should have been a teacher because of the holidays. I hate that. Not many believe that we more than earn those those breaks.
     
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  24. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    .
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019
  25. Backroads

    Backroads Aficionado

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    I knew a guy on another forum who was really good at this. He had subbed for a few months and had homeschooled his kids, so therefore he knew everything. In many ways, he was a delightful gentleman, but oh, his advice to teachers.

    I think he still thought it was the 1950s, based on his complaints of what he was sure teachers were teaching and what they ought to be teaching instead.
     
  26. RSA1984

    RSA1984 Rookie

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    A friend of mine recently suggested that I have an open bathroom policy (let kids go whenever they ask to go, and if it becomes a problem, talk to them about it). He is not an educator, but an attorney; however, he grew up having many health issues, of which I believe he has IBS. His reasoning was that it's almost draconian to control when someone can/can't go to the bathroom. I'm not sure how I feel about this because I realized during student teaching that A LOT of students asked to use the bathroom, and oftentimes probably weren't even going...simply wanted to take a stroll in the corridor/visit their friend in gym class, whatever...I don't want the ebb and flow of a lesson to be constantly disrupted. It was mostly frequent around the first or last 10 minutes of class. I was thinking about utilizing a ticket policy; say, 5 tickets per quarter...when the student runs out of tickets, unless it is an absolute emergency, s/he can't use the bathroom until the next quarter begins and they have their tickets refilled. However, I'm also sure that once a student runs out of tickets, their bathroom trip will usually and conveniently be an "emergency."
     
  27. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    ,
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019
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  28. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    I tend to agree with your attorney friend on this one. When it comes to biological function, I think we should trust kids until they prove to us that we can't. At that time, we can come up with an individual plan for their bathroom use while still allowing other kids the freedom to let their body do its thing.
     
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  29. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    ,
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019
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  30. Backroads

    Backroads Aficionado

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    I too agree with the attorney friend. I don't recall many instances where it was really a problem. I find a quick, silent signal to communicate the bathroom situation to be very effective. If it does become a problem, then yes indeed, talk about it. I feel it's less energy than any other system.
     
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  31. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    I get advice from non-teachers occasionally. It's taken nine years, but I'm slowly getting better at keeping my "Go [redacted] yourself" response internal while I smile and nod.
     

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