Disrespect

Discussion in 'General Education' started by dizzykates, May 8, 2009.

  1. dizzykates

    dizzykates Habitué

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    May 8, 2009

    I have been insulted repeatedly throughout the year by my students. I am accused a lying to them (false), accused a being racist (Is it racist when half your class is being written up for disrespect and showing up tardy?), argued with about seating, where to sit, how to sit, and practically had to beg them to do their work. No, I take that back, I don't beg. I just don't feel like I should need to repeat the assignment everyday when it is on their calendar and we review what is going on the next day everyday at the end of class. I write it on the board and briefly review when they arrive. I don't know that I need to repeat myself every few minutes. Then to be yelled at by them and unable to get them to work; I am beside myself. I called the admintrator to come to my room and talk with the students, he couldn't even get a word in edgewise over their complaints. Perhaps if they did their work, we could get some learning done. I have a month left with them and I am just sick about going to work on Monday. That part of my day ruins my entire day!! Sorry...I am not doing a good job explaining this...mostly needed to vent. How do you deal with beligerent students? :dizzy:
     
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  3. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    May 8, 2009

    :hugs: dizzy. No advice, but just wanted to empathize with you.
     
  4. smarkham01

    smarkham01 Companion

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    May 8, 2009

    You did a great job of explaining the situation and your reaction to it. Many of us have had similar experiences. I have found that charges of racism are fairly common. Students seem to realize that the charge is not only serious, but that many teachers can be sidetracked, if not completely shut down, by a single allegation of racism. My response? Tardy (or whatever) doesn't know anything about race, you did (or didn't) do it now, accept the consequences like an adult.

    Don't let the suckers get to you!
     
  5. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    May 9, 2009

    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this!!!

    We once had a mom accuse a teacher of being racist, as she was talking to the dean on the phone. The dean's response was that the conversation was over, and would be resumed when our lawyer arrived. The parent asked why on earth a lawyer would be involved. The dean responded that one of our teachers had just been accused of a federal crime, and that a deposition would need to be taken as the crime was investigated. Mom backpedaled pretty fast.
     
  6. frogger

    frogger Devotee

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    May 9, 2009

    LOVE IT!
     
  7. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    May 9, 2009

    WOW, Alice that was brilliant. Dizzy, I hope things get settled for you soon.
     
  8. ANGRY AL

    ANGRY AL Companion

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    May 9, 2009

    Experience says that they're using those occasions with you to rehearse the lie(s) they're going to tell their parent or guardian when they have to explain why they didn't do squat-thrust all year.
     
  9. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    May 9, 2009

    That's great, Alice!
     
  10. Emily Bronte

    Emily Bronte Groupie

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    May 9, 2009

    Kids can be, and are, rude at times. Besides, it is always easier to blame the teacher.
     
  11. chebrutta

    chebrutta Enthusiast

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    May 10, 2009

    I find that there are some parents and students who will use any excuse in the book to blame the teacher. I think the key is to cut it off earlier and before the other kids in the class learn that they can through an accusation at you and you're powerless to stop them. You've got to cut it off at the head next year.

    And to piggy-back on Alice - I had one mother accuse of of being anti-Semetic. Her child wasn't doing well because I hated Jews. He was late because I hated Jews. He talked back because he knew I hated Jews. And on and on and on. The guidance counselor was sitting there, trying not to laugh during this tirade. When she finally finished, I looked at her, got up, and got the phone of the GC's desk and handed it to her. I then said, "If you truly think that I hate Jewish people and feel you have significant evidence to back up your claim, would you please call my fiancee and let him know that he should immediately cancel our wedding because I hate him, his religion, and his people? He should probably know this now, before it's too late and we're married and I'm busy hating him and our future children and plotting ways to destroy their moral and pride in their heritage and generally making their lives hell with my insidious ways. I'll dial his number for you."

    She just stared at me, got up, and left. Never had a problem with the kid after that.
     
  12. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    May 10, 2009

    I had a parent accuse me of hating Hispanics. I was only the only cauc. child in a Hispanic school. My best friend was Hispanic. I would beg to go to her house. I loved everything about her family. I was practically raised as a sister with her.

    My student lied to his mother and told her I wouldn't let him take his reader home. I turned to the children in class, --she wouldn't leave my room like I requested to go to the office to talk, and asked if I had denied him the ability to take his book. My kids said no, a couple said "You told him to put it in his backpack, Mrs. M" I looked at that mother (with tears, I admit it...I am a crier!) and told her that I don't hate Hispanic children or parents, the only people I hate are liars. If your son is not a liar, than I must not hate him. She got so mad that she started to hit me. I smiled at her and said, please do, I will sue you and press charges. I was five months pregnant. My principal removed him from my room, because the mother went into the parking lot and yelled that she was going to kill me. Guess what? She accused the next three teachers that her child had of being prejudiced. He was failed in 5th grade for not doing the work. She removed him from our school. I was told that he dropped out this year at the age of 15. I am sure she thinks it is because everyone he comes in contact with is out to get him because he is Hispanic.
     
  13. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    May 10, 2009

    I have to agree that many students and parents will do just about anything to blame the teacher. I have a student who is supposed to bring his agenda to class so that I can fill it out. He doesn't bring it, and when I didn't send him to get it from his locker, lied to his parents and told them that I just wasn't filling it out. For awhile I was sending him for it, but that turned into a 20 minute stroll in the hallways. Finally I talked to my Admin and now one of our Admin's accompanies him everywhere. Its annoying, but its better then being blasted by Mom for not filling out the agenda.
     
  14. Yank7

    Yank7 Habitué

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    May 10, 2009

    When I went to school,my parents and my friend's parents always supported the teacher.If my teacher said it ,it must be true.
    Today many parents and even some administrators,believe the child and the teacher is considered guilty until proven innocent.Many of the students know this and take full advantage of it.When I first started teaching,I really enjoyed talking to most of the parents in my school.The longer I teach,the less parents I enjoy spending more than a few minutes with.
     
  15. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

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    May 10, 2009

    This is my first year teaching and one student got a few other students in her class to start a petition against the homework I gave. This was also my worst section--- which honestly is half my fault because of poor classroom management skills and half theirs for being just difficult (they act like this in all their classes). So as soon I found out about the petition, I spoke to their homeroom teacher and shot off an email to the Admins.

    The Admins spoke to each student who started the petition individually and they were honestly scared out of their minds that they would get kicked out of school for this. It taught them a lesson. I spoke to their leader and told her this: I didn't want any of them to get in trouble because that doesn't really teach them anything about communication. But what really hurt me was that they did not come to speak to me about the situation first. How can I know something is upsetting them if they don't openly speak to me about it? How can I work with them to fix it if I have no clue? Since then most of them get along with me pretty well minus the leader, I just know to keep the teachers updated and she usually stops.

    One thing I'm going to work on for next year is learning a little more about classroom management in order to spend the first week in my class really setting up with the kids how they should behave. Since my class is discussion amongst the kids driven, we need to have that foundation made.
     
  16. Mrs. T 9thG

    Mrs. T 9thG Rookie

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    May 11, 2009

    I won't tolerate outright disrespect. I do pick and choose my battles and use humor to get kids back on task. If that doesn't work I kick them out and write them up. I have a really supportive admin though.

    I love parent/teacher/student conferences. I had one today and t was great. This student though her big alligator tears would work on our assistant principal and her mom. It failed. I like sticking to my guns :D

    I also call parents in class. :) I call them over to the phone and they generally get chewed on in front of everyone. I've had one parent come to class and yell at their child.

    I make sure I always win. Either they stop the behavior or I kick them out of class.

    I use a little bit of embarrassment therapy.

    I use "real talk" with my students. "Keep messing around and you are sure to fail. Do your work and succeed."

    I'm a first year teacher and find varying responses work best.

    My students now warn their classmates (if someone tries to start something) to please stop because "Mrs. T always wins." Gotta love it.
     
  17. Mrs. T 9thG

    Mrs. T 9thG Rookie

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    May 11, 2009

    BioAngel- I STRONGLY suggest reading "The First Days of School" by Harry Wong and implementing as much as humanly possible from day one. The book was a freaking lifesaver and the tips work like a charm.
     
  18. Leatherette

    Leatherette Comrade

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    May 11, 2009

    When I was student teaching in High School, I was accused of being racist against Black students, then racist against White students, then of favoring the boys, then of favoring the girls. They grasped at every straw! I ended up crying in the bathroom one day while my supervising teacher chewed them all out, and by the time I was composed and returned to the classroom, they were all crying and giving me hugs.....no probs after that.

    I did decide to go back to grad school and wait a little while before managing a group of high schoolers. I was 21 when I student taught, and many of my students were 18. I was not ready! I also had not grown up in the United States and did not understand American racial politics at all.
     

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