Hi Everyone! First off I must warn you this post is long. I'm 25 and have been getting to know this guy through a dating site of my culture (Indian) since May. Turns out he lives 4 hours away. We met the day after memorial day and seem to have a good time. I asked him what he thought and he said he didn't feel he got to know me so well, and wanted to meet again. I told him I was worried about the distance and he assured me that we've got free minutes, email, IM, etc. we can make it work. I told him about my past of being led on by a guy on the dating site (showing he was interested only to find out he was on there JUST to make friends). This guy said, I already know I'm better than that guy, don't think about him, I'm not him. We talked for 5 hours one time on IM and he was very flirty showing he was interested. He said he wanted to meet last week in city (2 hours away)-he was gonna be there for work. I was thinking of taking the day before school off for work (although it was fine b/c I'm a sort of building sub who goes to 4 schools to cover for teachers so they can have mtgs & provide classrm support). He said he'd come a diff. day if I wanted. He said, if you could play hookie so can I. He finally said last week not to take the day off b/c he wouldn't want me to do anything I didn't want to nor would he want me to not get paid (I wouldnt if I took it off). So, we were gonna meet this week instead (since it's summer). Once, I teased him on IM, b/c he wanted to call me, but his mom was using his phone, so I said, "are you ignoring me." and he said how can I ignore a cute girl? He also remembered what I wore on our date. He joked that he should get 200 points for that and for some other stuff. THen once I said "You better be worth it" b/c I planned on taking the day off last Friday from work to see him (he had an award ceremony to attend on Saturday) he said "ouch. now i have 300 points and make up(meaning I have to make it up to him for saying that). He called 3-4 times during the week. Things were good until this Monday. I imed him he said "I'll call you later to catch up" b/c he was doing work (he works from home) and then said at end of conversation "we should talk." Had a feeling something was up but let it slide. He said when he went to the city he ran into a family friend at a bar whom he use to see and then when we talked on the phone he said, he said he decided to try it again with her. He said sorry, but he said he had to b/c she was a family friend. I asked if it was the distance (as that has been a barrier for me in the past w/other guys) and he said no she's about the same distance. After telling me this he said "let's be friends" and he kept talking to me (not that I wanted to). He said he didn't think it was a good idea to meet up. I later emailed him this.... Thanks for your honesty tonight about the other girl. I know it's easier to go out with someone you know before. However, I felt I wasn't completely honest with you tonight when we talked. I can't lie, but I am hurt by your actions. I know it was hard for you to tell me this, and I would have a hard time doing the same thing, but I am hurt that you didn't tell me this sooner. It sounded like you met that girl at the end of last week and I would have appreciated it if you had told me sooner because you said you wanted to meet up and it seemed like you were really interested. I know you weren't sure about dating me, which I completely understand, but some of the things you said to me made me feel lead on. You are a nice person, and I would be lying to myself if I didn't tell you all this. I hope you understand where I'm coming from. He then emailed back this.... I'm disheartened to read your email, although I do understand your feelings. Driving and talking I might not have laid out all the details properly, but I didn't meet her on purpose on thursday ... just ran into her at the bar. It wasn't anything until I meet up with her again on Sunday night while back in NY that we thought we'd try it out again. So I hope me saying this makes it a little better, although i know from my own experience and past, it won't help too much and for that I'm sorry. I've been lead on before and make a conscious effort not to ever do that to anyone else, cause it does hurt. I wouldn't have spent the time that I did with you if I wasn't interested. I know writing this probably has kept me in the same spot on your list of people to have beaten up, but I wanted to clarify the time line and ensure you understood I didn't plan on the meeting. My intentions were never to mislead you or hurt you and I hope you will forgive me with time. I then said this... I appreciate you writing back and trying to explain how you decided to be with the girl you use to go out with. You would never be on my list of people I'd want to beat up because I'm not like that. As I said before, I'm just hurt that you seemed interested, like you said you were, only to find out that it's not going to work out. I also feel disheartened, but over time I will get over this and perhaps we could be friends. He replied w/- That's all I can ask. Take care and good luck Maithal. I feel like he doesn't know what he wants b/c he did say in the phone conversation that he wasn't sure what'd happen btwn that girl and him but he had to give it a try. I'm just hurt that I always get hurt (even had a guy a few months ago ask to have an online relationship b/c he was moving - HELLLLOOOO, NOOOOO!!!!). On a side note, I put interest in 10 other guys on the website. One responded, but I'm still hurt. I wish my family or friends knew someone for me, but they don't. MY mom gave my email to a guy (friends of friends) 1000 miles away and I found his picture online and he's so not my type. I told him I was looking for someone closer (he wrote back). I'm tired of getting the wrong guys and having men lead me on. Yeah, you probably will also say enjoy being single while you can, and you're too young, but I am very hurt by this. Thanks for reading this long post.