discouraged

Discussion in 'General Education' started by tinadog, Mar 8, 2008.

  1. tinadog

    tinadog Rookie

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    Mar 8, 2008

    How can I handle a situation where a student keeps telling her mother that she doesn't want to be my class because she is afraid I am going to scream at her? I have bent over backwards to make her feel comfortable. The mother wants her moved to the other teacher's class. I came in Oct. to take a large class overload and I believe she just wants to go back into her first class to be with one of her best friends. I have never talked to or met her mother but the principal is considering moving her because this is the second request and she is afraid the parent will go to the service center. I have several behavior problems in this class and little support in the school so the atmosphere is tense for all of us at times. I guess I'm needing support from someone. There is much more to this story and this is by far the worse job I have ever had. The transition in Oct. was not handled well and the kids seemed traumatized by having been chosen to be the ones moved into my class. I have been dealing with the repercussions. Another student's mother tried to get her daughter moved from my room earlier in the year. This child has major issues is constantly taunting and verbally fighting with the other students often requiring my stern attention. She wasn't moved and eventually was put on meds because I consistently wrote her up and sent her out. I'm exhausted after dealing with issue after issue and trying to teach the test, monthly testing, and no support.
     
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  3. jw13

    jw13 Groupie

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    Mar 8, 2008

    Why have you never talked to the mother? There is a serious communication break down here.

    Call the mom say "It has come to my attention the "Susie" wants to be move out of my class. I was concerned and wanted to hear more from you. I would love to work with both "Susie" and you on this. I realize the transition has been difficult for the children. "Susie" has told me how much she misses her friend in Room 9. Could this be part of the problem. What are your ideas?"

    In my experience, whenever dealing with difficult children/parents, calling them directly in a professional manner and asking them for their input on issues or frustrations, almost always yields a cooperative relationship in the end.
     
  4. tinadog

    tinadog Rookie

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    Mar 8, 2008

    mother

    The student's mother has contacted the principal directly. Earlier in the year I met with the grandmother in the principal's office. I thought we resolved it and arranged for school counseling but there was no follow through on the counseling.
     
  5. cheeryteacher

    cheeryteacher Enthusiast

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    Mar 8, 2008

    Call her mom and see what she has to say. Her daughter could be telling her something that is not completely true in order to get her way. You need to get down to the bottom of the situation.
     
  6. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Mar 8, 2008

    I, too, am concerned why there has been no contact with the mom. Even with coming in Oct., there should have been some communication before now. And if this is the second request, the mother probably should have been contacted afterwards even if she went directly to the principal.

    Something like this happened to me at the beginning of last school year except it dealt with failing grades. I had written a note in the student's planner, but he didn't show it to mom, needless to say she contacted the AP before talking to me. That came back to bite me in my eval. I'd be careful with a parent like this.
     
  7. RainStorm

    RainStorm Phenom

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    Mar 8, 2008

    I agree with the other posters. I contact all of my parents frequently, to keep the lines of communication open. My more "troubled" students, I keep them on speed dial!

    If the parent is going directly to the principal, then you have to ask yourself "why?" Does she not feel a connection to you as her child's teacher?

    There are always parents who will "go over your head"...but it happens far less frequently when you keep the lines of communication open.

    My more "troubled" students also get calls home when the miraculous happens,,,,and they manage a good day at school. That way, I'm not always calling to say "bad things."
     
  8. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Mar 10, 2008

    Call the mom and get an appointment. Just tell her what has been said here, and ask her what her ideas are. Parents are often funny - the conferences you dread end up being such a relief sometimes! If you are diplomatic and honest, it should go well.

    Now, as for your principal, why is he/she listening to parent complaints instead of sending the parents to talk to you? I would certainly address this also.

    Sorry you are having a tough year. It does sound like a tough situation - you are almost finished and next year, will this help you get your own class? I think it is always hard to come in after the beginning of the school year - hang in there!

    Now I have to ask the question - do you "scream" in the classroom? Do you yell or raise your voice? You need to ask yourself this question, not necessarily for our information, but just to be honest with yourself. I know there have been times I have just gotten to the end of my patience with an especially tough group and a few kids who just seem to live to wear me down to a nub!!! I know I have raised my voice at times and that I shouldn't. My home and classroom are "no yelling" zones, but I have broken my own rules at times. I just want to gently remind us all, the louder we get, the less control we actually have.
     
  9. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    Mar 10, 2008

    :DThis made me smile RainStorm. Two years ago I realized that I had the e-mail address of one of my students' parent memorized, whereas I had to look up my friends' e-mail addresses. I still remember this dad's e-mail address almost 2 years later :eek:.
     

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