Did you write your own vows or use pre-written ones?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Em_Catz, Jul 20, 2013.

  1. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Jul 20, 2013

    ...and for those of you who wrote your own vows, did you memorize them, read from a sheet of paper, or give them to your pastor to read a loud?
     
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  3. Mrs.Giggles

    Mrs.Giggles Companion

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    Jul 20, 2013

    I did a little bit of both. I knew that I wanted us to have similar vows, but I never fell in love with the ones I saw online. I did however fall in love with bits and pieces of various ones. I ended up writing our own vows using the bits and pieces that I liked in other pre-written vows.

    Our officiant was supposed to say the vows and have us repeat, but he told me he couldn't quite get a rhythm going when he practiced. We then just read it off of the paper.
     
  4. BettyRubble

    BettyRubble Rookie

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    Jul 20, 2013

    Traditional vows. My husband is not a good public speaker and would have been stumbling all over the place (he still couldn't even mange to repeat the minister properly, lol). I thought there was also something nice about saying the same vows people have used for years and years, even if it is less personal than doing your own. :)
     
  5. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Jul 20, 2013

    We used traditional vows when we got married. When we renewed our vows on our 25th anniversary, we wrote our own.
     
  6. AdamnJakesMommy

    AdamnJakesMommy Habitué

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    Jul 20, 2013

    Traditional vows for us too. My husband would've been embarrassed if I wanted to be all touchy feeling with the words coming out of my mouth.
     
  7. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Jul 20, 2013

    We used non-traditional vows, but we didn't write them ourselves. I found them online or in a book or something. During the ceremony, the officiant read them and we did the "I do" thing afterwards. I wasn't at all confident that I would remember my lines, so that's why we did it that way.
     
  8. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    Jul 20, 2013

    I wrote our whole ceremony, but what I did to do that was spent a lot of time looking up non-religious ceremony scripts. I took bits and pieces from different ones, changed words, added, took away, until I got something I really loved. We had our "minister" read our vows, we said "I do" and then during the ring exchange we repeated.

    These were ours:

    Do you _____, accept this man, ______, as your husband — joining with him today in matrimony — offering your friendship and loving care — honoring his growth and freedom as well as your own — cherishing and respecting him, loving and embracing him in times of adversity and times of joy?
     
  9. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Jul 20, 2013

    I'd definitely want to stick to the TRADITIONAL vows.

    Are you going to do a little symbolic gesture at the end of the wedding, like how some couples light candles, each pour sand into a bowl, or have 2 doves that they send flying into the air? I'd want to do something like that, but more unique. I'd maybe want to do some kind of small cultural wedding ritual (since I'm biracial).
     
  10. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    Jul 20, 2013

    I did traditional.
     
  11. Securis

    Securis Cohort

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    Jul 20, 2013

    Congratulations again! We just had our wedding 7/7 and we elected to take existing ceremonies and vows provided by our officiant then custom edit them to suit our tastes and situation.

    We met our officiant and they handed us a three ring binder full of many examples of traditional and non-traditional ceremonies and vows. We went through with tiny stick-its to tag things that looked interesting. They later sent us an email with the things we tagged in word files. I took about three nights of editing to get everything we wanted into our ceremony and even rewrote about a third of it overall to suit my sense of flow.

    Even still, our officiant being used to saying certain things for herself added back in some things that we had edited out. For instance, we, neither of us are particularly religious and both come from very different backgrounds. We didn't want too much religious content for ourselves and we didn't want to offend either of our families by having one or both represented so we took out most of the religious references. We even took out the "Goddess" portions of the God and Goddess in our Celtic hand-fasting ceremony but the officiant, from rote, put it back in.

    Still, it all turned out well.
     
  12. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    Jul 21, 2013

    We will be using the ones that are traditional in our church. For us, there was no question--we like the idea of using the same ones our parents, grandparents, and other relatives also used. :)
     
  13. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Jul 21, 2013

    Rockhubby and I didn't have an opinion on the matter, so our officiant (also my college roommate) "loaned" us her vows from her wedding. They worked well and were a variant on the traditional ones.
     
  14. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    We asked for our officiant to put together a secular service, and she did a beautiful one. She read a couple of poems about love, and then read traditional vows, but without mentions of God, religion, gender roles, or anything we might not be comfortable with. Since it was just the three of us in her office, it was fine, and a lovely service.
     
  15. Cicero

    Cicero Companion

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    Jul 21, 2013

    We're doing our own. My fiancé doesn't really like the idea of talking in front of everyone, but he's been working on his vows for months now apparently. I need to get on his level.
     
  16. Cicero

    Cicero Companion

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    Jul 21, 2013

    Oh and he's warned me that he claims all of the TV shows we love for his vows so there isn't any quote overlap. Seems fitting since the last page of our shutterfly guess book says:

    "Webster's dictionary defines wedding as "the fusing of two metals with a hot torch." Well, you know something? I think you guys are two medals, gold medals" - Michael Scott
     

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