Did you marry the right person?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Pisces_Fish, Jan 4, 2009.

  1. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

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    Ok, ok, it's a pretty loaded question for a message board (and would require tons of honesty to admit you didn't) but I'm curious....

    Are you confident you married The One? I'm unmarried, but I know my BF isn't the One, and it bothers me. I love him, yet I'm not in love with him. Strangely, my first love broke my heart by telling me that, and I hated him for it. But years later, here I am living it.
     
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  3. jw13

    jw13 Groupie

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    Yes I did...for many reasons he is The One.

    If you aren't "in love" with your bf, you really need to think about why you might be sticking around.
     
  4. loveforquantum

    loveforquantum Rookie

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    Yes, i'm quite sure i married the right person. And like jw13, i have many reasons.

    I hope everything works out well for you in the end. I'm sure it will. :hugs:
     
  5. emmakate218

    emmakate218 Connoisseur

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    I didn't marry the right man. I knew on my wedding day that I was making a huge mistake and I so desperately wanted leave him standing at the alter. I told myself, "there's always divorce." We're divorced now. :)
     
  6. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    I sure hope DH is "The One" because we had the "divorce is not an option" discussion before we got married.

    I wouldn't have kept dating him if I couldn't have seen myself with him for the long haul. I'm not the type of person who needed to be in a relationship, so I wouldn't stay with a person I didn't see a future with.
     
  7. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I'm sure I married "The One" as well. There are many reasons, but the main one is the fact that I don't know anyone else that could put up with me. :)
     
  8. reverie

    reverie Companion

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    Aww, Pisces, I would say if you don't find your current boyfriend to be "the one" then maybe consider breaking up with him altogether. It'd be best for him to be able to move on and find someone who does want to marry him.
     
  9. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    I know I did. He may be a pain in the "umm" often enough but he is there for me always. I love him for it. He shares his love everyday. That's enough for me.
     
  10. deedee

    deedee Connoisseur

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    haha stg- thats what im looking for someone who can put up with me :lol::lol: no luck so far
     
  11. Sunny Teacher

    Sunny Teacher Rookie

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    I love my boyfriend to pieces, but I don't think he's the one. :( It's hard to break up with someone you do love so much though...
     
  12. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    My mom put a bumper sticker on my husband's old car that said,

    "Marriage is finding that one special person you CAN annoy for the rest of your life."
     
  13. New3rdTeacher

    New3rdTeacher Comrade

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    my husband is by far the best person for me!!! He's the best thing to come in to my life and I am so blessed to have him in my life :)
     
  14. chemteach55

    chemteach55 Connoisseur

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    My hubby is the "ONE"--after all he has put up with me for 22 years and I never thought anyone could do that. Today he is the greatest. Yesterday I "accidently" permanently deleted all my files on my laptop and he spent the entire day restoring everything. I dated several before him and knew immediately that I would spend the rest of my life with him. This shocked our friends because we are total opposites.
     
  15. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Yup. No question about it, he's just...it. I don' t know how to explain it. A lot of people have talked about annoying/being annoyed by that person...it's true! I may be annoyed by something he says or does, but in my mind, I'm thinking OK, when can this be over so we can be 'us' again? He's the one whom I can't imagine NOT being with...when I think of "old me", he's right there in my mind...my goals/wishes/life is his, and vice versa...we're just intertwined...
     
  16. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Absolutely, he's The One.

    And, even nicer in the wee hours of the morning, I know I'm The One for him as well :)
     
  17. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    I am most definitely with the one for me. Our love has gone thru both of us being married and divorced to someone else b4 getting back together after being separated for 17 yrs. He is the love of my life and I am happy to share the rest of our lives together.
     
  18. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

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    I know I am with the one for me. We both dated a lot and know that we found the right person for one another. I can't wait to start a life with him.
     
  19. mom2ohc

    mom2ohc Habitué

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    I totally did :heart
     
  20. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    The thing to bear in mind is that there may actually be more than one ONE out there. For the first 25 years of my life, I thought M was it. We really did love each other since we were kids. Sadly, he passed away right before our shared birthday (his 25th, my 26th). For years I was convinced that I had lost my only chance at real happiness. However, five years later I realized that I was falling for one of my friends, and he's been my Rockhubby since 2006.

    The amazing thing about love is that it can happen more than once, but it will feel completely different each time.
     
  21. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I'm not married yet. I really love my long-time BF though & I sure hope he's The One!

    Pices Fish, so if you're not "in love", what do you plan to do? Keep dating him to see if your feelings will change or break up soon so you can find the one who's right for you?
     
  22. GlendaLL

    GlendaLL Aficionado

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    On Saturday, I was looking for an anniversary card for my husband. On the 19th, we will have been married for twenty-four years. As I read the cards, I had a hard time finding one that will tell my husband just how much I love him. He's THE ONE for me! :wub:
     
  23. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    Not a doubt in my mind about my husband.

    People often say marriage is hard, but not for me. Sometimes LIFE is hard, but I know I always have him on my side
     
  24. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    There were times when I wondered and I'm sure he did too, but hard times pass, you grow old together, share the same sorrows & joys, and it's worth every single minute to stick it out... yes, I most definitely married the right man.

    I have a former P who divorced and said all she did was trade one pretty good man for another and that if she had it to do over she'd kept the first one because her life would have been much less complicated because of the permanent connection she had with the first and their kids.
     
  25. lilmisses1014

    lilmisses1014 Comrade

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    Definitely married the right guy! :wub: We both dated very casually in high school, but neither of us had been in any sort of a relationship until we decided to start one. We've been together for nearly 8 years (married for 2 years).

    Ditto.
     
  26. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    I do have the One for me. We've been through many trials, and every time we go through a situation, it seems we come away closer than ever. We communicate about everything, we are honest with ourselves and each other, even when it hurts and we truly are best friends. He has stood by me through some of my crazy times and vice versa. We've grown together for the past 24 years and are now planning our transition into the empty nest, the next stage of our life together as our kids grow to adulthood. There is no one I trust more.
     
  27. Superteacher81

    Superteacher81 Comrade

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    I never thought I could break up with someone until I found myself in the situation where I knew my bf at the time was definitely not "the one". I was doing our laundry one day a couple of summers ago (we lived together) and I was folding his shirt and I just burst into tears because I knew I couldn't keep acting like everything was fine. He asked me what was wrong and I broke up with him that night. I've been single ever since...still looking for "the one" and I figure, I've been waiting so long for "the one" (I'm 27!), that he'd better be pretty darn special when I do find him!!
     
  28. MissWull

    MissWull Cohort

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    Absolutely. I've been with my husband for 6 years this April and we've been married for almost 1 year. Putting our newlywed status aside, I knew after the first few months that he was the one for me. I love everything about him, and he puts up with me! :) I could go on forever, but honestly there are so many things that make us a really great match.

    Trust your heart. I'm sorry to hear the way you are feeling right now, I don't think it's easy to be on either side of that type of situation.
     
  29. teachingforgod4

    teachingforgod4 Rookie

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    Even though we married young. Dh and I feel that we are a perfect match. We've seen each other at our best and worse. We are always there for one other. I couldn't see myself with anyone else and he feels the same.
     
  30. Mrs. Q

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    I guess I'll be the one to break the happiness. DH and I are really struggling right now, so the most I can say is that I still hope every day that I married "the one." We married young, and don't have an incredible about of time under our belts... in 3 years of marriage, we've dealt with a military deployment, PTSD, a new baby, 3 moves, unemployment, school, infidelity... just a ton. We go to counseling every other week and we're giving it our very best attempt. We do love each other, and I hope that years from now, we'll have found out that love IS enough to get you through. :(
     
  31. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Mrs.Q-:hugs: I'm sorry to hear about your struggles, but if both of you are really committed to the marriage, then it will work out in the end.
     
  32. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Yes, I definitely married the right one. I knew when we first met. It's weird and so cliche, but you get this feeling, or I did, and I just knew. I had broken up with my boyfriend right before I met my future husband because one day I tried to pic me and my bf together forever, and I couldn't picture it, nor did I feel like I wanted it. I knew that being with my bf would keep me from finding Mr. right.As soon as I broke up with my bf, Mr. Right arrived...
     
  33. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

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    He was "the one" of many that are still roaming free.
     
  34. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Of course, that's not to say we've had the perfect marriage. Sorry, I just wanted to clear that up. We have had serious issues, even separated for a bit, but we've always been able to work out our issues and come out as a stronger couple because of it.
     
  35. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    These are really heartwarming stories, thanks for sharing, I have enjoyed reading them. :)
     
  36. becky

    becky Enthusiast

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    If you were to look our relationship from the beginning, laid out in pictures, it would seem like God brought us together. Things happened one after the other that only God could have orchestrated. Timing, situations, all that. Some days, though, I really have to wonder, because we are so different now.
     
  37. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    I married the right one 4 times :) and divorced the right/wrong one 3 times :(
    What does that say? I don't choose women well? I can spot the bad one with someone else but not myself :(
     
  38. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    infidelity is the one hard thing to overcome good luck & God Bless
     
  39. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    Yep, I married the right one. I used to wonder-but deep down, I know that he is the perfect compliment for me. He is faithful, and as the years go on, we find more and more in common to do and talk about. We still have our moments, but all marriages do. Hands down, I love him more today than I did 22 years ago when I married him. He is an incredible man.:wub:
     
  40. Learner4Life

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    My fiance is the one. I know because I can imagine us during different stages of our lives. Helping our children with their homework when we're slightly older. Him playing guitar hero when he's 60 (because you know by the time we get that age, the classics will be all we'll play). I watched "The Wedding Singer" the other day so I guess the theory of envisioning growing old together is stuck in my head.
    I also know that he'll put up with me, and vise versa, until the end.
     
  41. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Being the resident cynic

    First: Fifty percent of American marriages are not ending in divorce. It's fiction. A myth. A tragically discouraging urban legend.

    Second: It predicted that one-third of new marriages among younger people will end in divorce within 10 years and 43 percent within 15 years.
    Look to the left. look to the right. if they are not divorcing it is you

    I'd like to see the answers in 10 to 15 years
     

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