Defending Against a Bully

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Education4Life, Feb 25, 2015.

  1. Education4Life

    Education4Life Rookie

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    Feb 25, 2015

    The other day, my daughter's teacher told me about a situation involving my daughter and a little boy in her class. Apparently this kid had been bullying her for a while and the teacher was always having to intervene. So on this occasion the teacher decided to watch and see how the situation would pan out. The teacher said my daughter finally got so fed up she grabbed the child by his shirt and slammed him to the ground. The bully was so shocked he didn't know what to do. The teacher then called my daughter over to her and gave her a high five for finally defending herself. So this child hasn't messed with her since. Let me mention here these kids are in kindergarten (both 5 years old).

    So to all the educators do you think my daughter's teacher handled the situation properly? Should she have encouraged my daughter by giving her a high five, or should she have gotten both sets of parents involved since the other child continuously displayed aggressive behavior?
     
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  3. Backroads

    Backroads Aficionado

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    Feb 25, 2015

    As an educator, I believe the high five was inappropriate for the situation. The incident was between the two children and I do not believe it is the teacher's place to be encouraging that sort of reaction.

    Now, I agree with your daughter's actions very much. I believe a good majority of bullies can be handled with a good defense--and that can include a physical reaction. Sometimes bullies just need to know their actions just won't be tolerated and there will be consequences beyond a feeling-sharing meeting and a call home.

    I'm thrilled your daughter stood up for herself and off the record I'm thrilled she chose knocking him to the ground as her choice.

    But as a teacher, I just can't condone another teacher publically celebrating that.
     
  4. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Feb 25, 2015

    This!
     
  5. Koriemo

    Koriemo Comrade

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    Feb 25, 2015

    The high five probably crossed the line. To be honest, I probably would have looked the other way and not confronted your daughter about it, but I definitely would not have openly supported it.
     
  6. Education4Life

    Education4Life Rookie

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    What the teacher told me was that she was growing wary of the child constantly picking on my daughter. She is tiny for her age, so I guess he figured she was an easy target. But I do agree, the teacher should have reacted differently. I don't think the school has a policy regarding the teacher's reaction so I guess that's why she felt comfortable responding the way she did.

    Initially when she called my daughter she thought she was in trouble, but to her surprise she was congratulated. I told my daughter that I didn't mind her defending herself, however violence never solves anything and she should refrain from violent actions to prove a point. But of course she must always be willing to stand up for herself!
     
  7. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Feb 25, 2015

    I'll admit, I think my little brother's teachers and my parents applauded and high-fived each other when my brother laid out his bully into a mud puddle (this was at least 30 years ago so I'm not sure). However, they never did so in front of either child.
     
  8. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    I dislike the high five. Were you ever informed of the bullying before this? Maybe I missed it...
     
  9. Froreal3

    Froreal3 Companion

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    Feb 25, 2015

    I would hope the teacher informed the bully's parent prior to this situation and attempted other interventions. I would also hope that she had a talk with your daughter on ways to handle this other kid that didn't include physicality. Honestly, I would have been smirking while thinking "It's about time!" when your daughter did that. However, I wouldn't have given her a high five. I would have probably told her that it was good to defend herself, but to make sure she tries to walk away, tell me, etc. first. I would've told the bully that that sometimes happens when you keep harassing people and do not stop.
     
  10. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    Feb 25, 2015

    Considering your daughter absolutely did the right thing, I don't see a problem with the high five. I'm more concerned about the fact that the teacher knew this was occurring and let it get to the point where her flattening the bully was the right decision.
     
  11. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    Feb 25, 2015

    this.

    My daughter was a victim of a bully in second grade. It was bothersome stuff on the playground but not a huge deal. She followed the tired old advice of ignoring him. Until he got a little too physical with her. He came up from behind and grabbed her. Just like her martial arts instructor had been doing for a couple of months. DD took the kid down, hard. Every.single.teacher just happened to be watching the kids on the swings at that time. Imagine that.

    I was subbing at the school that day but wasn't on the playground. I heard about four teachers tell me that story. When we got home my husband and I praised her for her actions. But it wouldn't have been cool if the teachers had openly done so when it happened.
     
  12. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    hmmm. I bet you're wrong on that one. I doubt he'll be messing with her again.
     
  13. callmebob

    callmebob Enthusiast

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    Feb 25, 2015

    This. I would have supported it on the inside but not let the other kids witness my support. But kids need to do a better job of standing up to bullies. The problem is that often they are good kids that get bullied who are afraid of getting in trouble.
     
  14. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Aficionado

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    Feb 25, 2015

    I agree with everything said here.:thumb:
     

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