I know that teachers have eyes in the backs of their heads, but we can't see everything. How do you handle situations where you didn't see something, but so-and-so says so-and-so did something to him/her.
I have told my 3rd graders that unless someone is bleeding, sick, or doing something seriously wrong (cheating, etc.), the one who tattles gets the same punishment as the person they are tattling about. This has cut way down on the tattling!
If I really can't tell who did what, both students involved will be punished. I tell them that I know it's not necessarily fair, but I can't play favorites, so I have to punish them both.
I like the remedy described in Tools for Teaching - If someone needs to tattle, they have to write it out - a full paragraph, which is handed back for correct spelling, format, etc. It is then placed in the box. At the end of the week, if the student can still remember what he/she wanted to tattle about, it can be discussed in a class meeting. Most of them go away.
One of my friends posted a "Tattle Turtle" on the wall and told the kids to tell the turtle. Amazingly, they did and I guess felt better just having vented. I think this was in first grade which seems to be a high point for tattling.
I know that tattling can be a problem in elementary grades, which I don't teach, and I don't have kids of my own, so maybe my opinion is worth beans, but I think when a kid tries to "do the right thing" by telling us that someone is doing something wrong, and we ignore it, we are sending a message that lasts until adulthood, which is not to "snitch." I had a very angry conversation with my high school students because the message in rap songs and the message on the streets is "No snitching." The people committing murders and selling drugs in their neighborhoods weren't wrong, in their eyes... it was the people who "tattled" and talked to the police or press. I couldn't believe this mentality, and I treated the kids saying "Who is the snitch?" as bullying and derogatory language, because it was carrying over to my classroom, and not for little things, but for things like stolen cell phones. Ok, so I know telling on Johnny for stealing a crayon is way different than turning someone in for murder, but maybe it isn't that different to a first grader. I just think in most cases we need to listen to the kid and have some conflict resolution. I am sure the "tattling" gets tiresome, and I am sure that some of the "tattles" are really insignificant, but I just think we need to listen to the kids to reinforce that if something is wrong, you do need to speak up about it.
I don't like waiting until the end of the week to discuss the tattles. By then, it would be too late for the discussion to really do any good. I always told my students that if someone physically and mentally hurt them that they should tell me immediately, but if they weren't hurting then they needed to use the tattle box. This actually worked well.
I agree. The way I deal with this in my field experiences and with my own kids is I have a quiet area where they can talk to each other (guided if need be) if it's a real problem. If someone comes to me tattling, I ask them "Do you need to go sit in the Quiet Area and talk it out or is this something you two can work out on your own?" Usually, they end up figuring it out on their own.
