Daycare issues

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out Archives' started by MissaG, Oct 31, 2006.

  1. MissaG

    MissaG Companion

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    Oct 31, 2006

    I am so conflicted about my son's daycare arrangements, I need advice!!

    My two year old son was in a wonderful in-home daycare. She had a set schedule, circle time, story time, a lot of fun activities for the kids, and he brought something home everyday. He loves her, loves the kids, and always had such a great time there.

    The problem is...she decided to move. Military town...they decided to move onto the base and sell their house. It was a good option for them, but it is out of the way for me. I interviewed many providers, (day care centers, in-home providers, etc...) I had finally decided that I wasn't going to be satisified with anyone else so I decided to keep him with her at her new house. Well, she took two weeks off to move and set us up with a temporary provider. Monday he should start going back there. When I drive him, I will be driving about 15 minutes one way, then backtracking and driving about 30 minutes the opposite way. I was convinced that this was the best thing for him.

    The place he is at now he likes too. But, she doesn't have a schedule, more of just a "babysitter." He watches TV a lot throughout the day, and never brings any coloring or anything home. She is a very nice lady and I trust her completely with him.

    Now I am just not sure what to do. In his best interest, I would like him at the original provider's. But, whenever I think about the drive on both ends of my day, I get stressed out and dread it. My husband is a Marine and will probably only be able to take him a couple of days a week.

    The temporary provider is willing to keep him, she is right on my way, and 25 dollars a week cheaper (plus I would save in gas).

    I really need someone to help me reason this out because I just can't decide if I should sacrifice for his sake, developmentally, or if I should keep him at the more convenient, less structured place so that I won't go crazy with the driving.

    Thanks for reading this far! Any advice will help!
     
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  3. Maryhf

    Maryhf Connoisseur

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    Oct 31, 2006

    I don't have a lot of experience with day care providers but it seems to me that unless you lead a very structured life after work (and require that you child be accustomed to that) it isn't that necessary for a 2 year old to have a set schedule of activities. The important thing is that there is love and care. you can always add preschool at 3 or 4 years where there will be plenty of structure. I think the stress of the extra travel would be difficult on both of you but follow your instincts!
     
  4. wldywall

    wldywall Connoisseur

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    Oct 31, 2006

    Go where you think he will be happiest, if he is adjusting to the new provider then you can let him stay, but tell the provider that a TV is not a acceptable source of entertainment for a 2 year old. If she is unwilling to make changes it will clue you in into what kind of a future you will have with her as your provider. Good luck.
     
  5. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Oct 31, 2006

    If you are totally comfortable with his new provider, I would take him there. However! I would ask her if she would mind working with him on a couple of things that you know he enjoys. Tell her you would be happy to bring some songs for children and whatever else you would like him to hear and learn about. She may appreciate your help as it would make her days be more interesting. The driving would get to me.
     
  6. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Oct 31, 2006

    If the biggest issue you have with the new provider is the television. I would politely speak to her about that and see if things change.


    The commute to the other place could be more trouble than it's worth in winter.
     
  7. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Oct 31, 2006

    Because of ages, both of my children go to separate day care centers. Imagine the time there. I swing with both opinions. I LOVE having my kids in the best place for them right now in spite of the inconvience, BUT as a parent I have made the decison plenty of times that works best in MOST ways and not necessarily in one way only. (Is that clear?). Your kid would benefit from having an excellent structured environment, but do you remember being 2 years old? I guess my point is, we could go on and on about the pros and cons of both and in the end you have to do what makes the most sense to you. I find my priorities change at different times. Neither is right or wrong. Good luck. Don't you hate child care delimmas? I will say one positive thing. Your child is loved. I have only had a problem with one babysitter and had to fire her. In general the most important ingredient is love and having them CHERISH your child enough to treat him well.
     
  8. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Oct 31, 2006

    Two year olds don't need structure. They need routine and the chance to explore. Be sure to find out if she takes him outside. Two's need to dig in the dirt/sand, collect stuff in pails, run and CLIMB, be silly and hear lots and lots of stories each day. Does she have a lot of good books and interesting things for him to do? I am not against television, but there has to be limits.
     
  9. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Nov 1, 2006

    As an in-home provider I can offer a couple suggestions/comments...take them as you will. For one, even though I am in my home, I do not "babysit". Usually ones that do "babysit" are just that...a babysitter. I usually put them in the "lazy" category. Sorry to sound harsh, but I do. That's just my opinion though.

    Even though he wont need as "much" structure as older kids do (I do believe 2 year olds need structure and routine though) I believe it is important to find someone who your child will be with long term. Less transition the better, if you ask me. Even with my younger toddler who is not quite 2, she sits and does the same stuff as my preschoolers do...math, art, circle time. Certain activities are just modified for her. Kids that age WILL follow if given the opportunity.

    On tv, we have 2 different tv times...very early in the morning at drop off and in the late morning while I make lunch. They usually only total about 1 hour each day. What they watch is always educational, unless it is a special day, like watching Rudolf during Christmas time.

    I also have a daily schedule. The parents know what the kids do every day. I hand out lesson plans and all that. I run my home like I would a preschool. It seems your old provider was like that as well.

    In your situation I can understand it being tough. For one, you do not want to drive out of your way, and it does seem like a lot of driving each day. On the other hand, you want your child's education and well being to be a priority. You also never want to go with someone just because they are cheaper. In my opinion, you can never put a price on your child's well being, also understanding that you need to be able to afford wherever your child is going.

    If you are concerned about the tv watching, talk to the provider and ask how much they watch each day and when. Perhaps you end up walking in at the tv times coincidentally. Hopefully she can tell you that it's not on all day, and it shouldn't be in my opinion. It has to be limited! Kids get enough tv otherwise, they do not need a lot of it at daycare/school. Especially when there are other kids to play with all day.

    If you are concerned about work not being brought home, ask her about that too. Ask what kind of activities she does with the kids each day. Even though I hand out my lesson plans, not everything planned is something they take home. We do a lot of hands on activities that they take turns with that are set up in the house, but they do not take them home.

    I probably only made you more confused, but I think what you should do first is talk to his current provider about your concerns. Hopefully she can shed some light on them. If you only assume without asking you will never know the truth. By talking to her, based on her answers, I think you will get a clearer understanding of what to do in the long run. Good luck with your decision. And whatever you choose, I am sure it will be the best for your child.:love: :angel:
     
  10. totallybusy

    totallybusy Rookie

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    As a parent of two. It will be hectic for another few years. But do you want a child that is taught good work ethic and socialization skills or do you want a couch potato? Ask him where he wants to be. His opinion should mean something.
    What goes on today starts him for tomorrow.
     
  11. MissaG

    MissaG Companion

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    Nov 1, 2006

    After being almost completely decided to leave him at the temporary provider's house until I found something better, I have now changed my mind and am sure about it. I am going to do the driving to take him to the environment that I prefer and feel better about. In the meantime, I will be looking for alternatives that meet my requirements or a job that is closer.

    He absolutely loves her and asks about her all of the time. When I pick him up I always ask him questions like "Did you sing?" "Did you dance?" "Did you read stories?" And his answer to all of those questions is "No, Allison's." Allison is the other provider. He knows that he does those things at her house but not at this house. He has began recognizing TV characters (Barney, a monkey off of Dora which he spotted at the grocery store 4 times yesterday).

    I just feel better about the entire environment there. Hopefully it doesn't burn me out, but I will work with it until it gets to be too much.

    Thanks for all of the responses, it really helped me reason this whole thing out!
     
  12. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I just want to point out that this happens even when children do not watch tv...they learn them from other kids, advertisements, toys, etc.. My son knows many characters on tv that he has never even seen on the tv itself. However, I see your point. If that is what is best for him I think you are doing the right thing. It is very hard to make a change when you feel it's not what is best. Good luck to you, and him.
     
  13. totallybusy

    totallybusy Rookie

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    I think you've made the right choice for him. In a few short years he will be in school full time and things will get easier.
     
  14. teachingmomof4

    teachingmomof4 Groupie

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    I would have to agree with JenPooh that even a 2 year old needs structure. I am a firm beleiver that it begins at a young age and continues as children get older. As a mother of 4, we simply have to have routines and procedures to get through our day alive.;)

    I believe that you have to look at how you think your chid will do in the long run at either daycare facility. If you are concerned about the tv watching, talk to the person running the daycare. See if there may be other alternatives instead of television. It may sound a bit forward, but ask if she would like some resources or alternative info instead of tv. Maybe she doesn't know of anything else to do.

    Obviously, if you are concerned enough to ask this question about what to do on the forum, then you have concerns about the new daycare. Again, I would say that you need to do what is best for your child both now and in the long run. You could always use the travel time to talk with your child. Learn about his day, listen to books on tape, play car games, bond with your son. I know it is a long day and you just want to get home and put your feet up but, it might be a good time for you and your son to be just that, a mom and a son.

    Believe me, I know about those long trips home. I have 4 kids. The two boys go to school with me and the two girls have to go to separate daycares. The oldest girl goes to an in-home daycare that I just love and the youngest goes to the home of our PTA President. It is nice because they are both within a half mile of the school but both at different places which always makes me late. (I still haven't figured out how to get to school on time.) TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT:D (have I done that yet?:D ) you are the mom and know what is best for your child.
     

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