Dating other Teachers?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out Archives' started by LycoManda, Jan 12, 2007.

  1. LycoManda

    LycoManda Rookie

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    Jan 12, 2007

    Hi, I am a first year middle school teacher and I am currently dating one of my colleagues who has taught for 7 years. I am a non-traditional first year teacher, as I am 27, and was in clinical psychology before I went back to school for my teaching certification in special education. We are very professional about it, we never talk in school, never eat lunch together and never interact unless we HAVE to because we have a student that is having difficulty, which hasnt happened yet. I can go weeks without seeing him in the same school, and many of my colleagues dont know.
    What do you all think about dating other teachers? Is it unprofessional? Am I taking a big risk?
     
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  3. Giggles1100

    Giggles1100 Comrade

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    Jan 12, 2007

    We had 2 teachers that met last year at my school and got married this year and they both still teach there. I think as long as you are professional about it and do not call attention to yourselves, you should be fine.
     
  4. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    My husband and I both teach, although in different schools.

    We currently have 2 married couples on our staff. It's a total non-issue.
     
  5. Alaskanteach

    Alaskanteach Cohort

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    Jan 13, 2007

    Agree here too. We have a couple of married couples in our school. In small schools in my state, married teacher couples are HIGHLY sought after for contracts.. (schools that have to provide housing, for example). I wouldn't worry about it at all.
     
  6. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    My daughter's grade 6 teacher had her husband as her supply teacher whenever she was away. Now he is on staff and the the kids are think that is's really great. Be professional, but don't feel that you need to hide!
     
  7. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Should not cause a problem. You seem to be handling the situation appropriately.
     
  8. LycoManda

    LycoManda Rookie

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    Jan 13, 2007

    Whew!! Thank you for all of your posts. I have been very concerned about the professionality issue of dating another teacher (especially one with tenure) in my building. We have gotten serious; and some people know on the faculty but it is not discussed in school or school related settings. Also, when we interact; if we do at all, at school it is how I interact with anyone on the staff. The president of our local association recently mentioned that she did not agree with colleages dating and she thinks it is highly unprofessional. So, that is basically what concerned me. But really, does the association really have any say in those kinds of matters?
     
  9. Music Doc

    Music Doc Habitué

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    Jan 14, 2007

    We have a couple on our staff who met, dated, married, divorced and are both still on the staff. It doesn't seem to have been a problem....they're both very professional people.
     
  10. KDS

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    my hubby and i both taught the same SUBJECT just at different schools....we might have had to kill each other if we were at the same place!

    I just started being the Education Service Coordinator at the PBS station here in CC, TX....so it is easier

    if i had met him when i was teaching...i would have gone out with him anyway...follow your heart and behave 'in public' and i am sure it will be great:p
     
  11. MissWull

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    I agree with what everyone here has said. Plus, you can't help who you like...if it's someone at work, then that's the way it is! I met my fiance at work...we worked in different departments so we never saw eachother unless we made a point to...but we acted totally normal so nothing was ever an issue with our relationship.
     
  12. LycoManda

    LycoManda Rookie

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    Mar 4, 2007

    Okay, now.. our STUDENTS have started to see us together..at the movies and at the mall and other places. We are always professional about it and we never do anything that may be questionable. One of my students lives in the apartment complex that my boyfriend lives in and he sees my car there. The next day at school, he will mention something to me. THis is starting to get kinda hairy. Any suggestions?? Please!
     
  13. teachingmomof4

    teachingmomof4 Groupie

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    The two teachers across the hall from me are married. Although you would never know it because they are very professional about it. (They even tell the kids that they are brother and sister.)

    My son's 6th grade teacher (this year) dated and got married to another staff member about 2 years ago. They are also professional about it. As long as that's the case, I think it's okay. :love:
     
  14. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    to the OP, you don't owe an answer to any child about your personal life.
     
  15. b-radical

    b-radical Companion

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    Teaching doesn't make us less human, particularly in matters of the heart. It may, in fact make us more who we are meant to be. ENJOY your relationship! You're handling it well!
     
  16. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I agree. Don't lie, but don't get tangled into a discussion of stuff that's none of their business.

    If they ask if you're dating Mr. G, I would say yes, but offer no further details. If they press, tell them that it's your personal life
     
  17. January_Violet

    January_Violet Comrade

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    I've done it. We saw each other a lot and it did not end well. I would say, don't do it.

     
  18. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    I agree with the above posters that as long as you're professional, that it should be fine. And I must add that as busy teachers, when do we REALLY have the time to meet anyone outside of work. Just my personal opionion. Plus, it's nice having a hubby or boyfriend who is also a teacher because then you both have the same holidays! :)

    BTW, my husband and I also met at school where we both worked. We now work for different school districts, but it was fine.
     
  19. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Yeah, we've been married 17 years; it worked out OK for us :)

    And those summers off together are wonderful!!!
     
  20. hatima

    hatima Devotee

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    Mar 29, 2007

    In high school we had two math teachers who got married. She changed her name it was the second class I had taken with her, so we all knew. My class was very casual with the teacher and she was very pregnant. There was a scandle about thier relationship and some of the kids teased her. But last I heard they were still married and both still teaching.

    Also at my middle school the art teacher and an 8th grade english teacher were married. This didn't seem to be a problem either. I think if you and the person you are dating remain professional at work it shouldn't be a problem.
     
  21. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Well,when I was in high school many many years ago, we had a new teacher, fresh out of college, so he was about 22 . One of the Senior girls caught his eye, but they didn't "date" until she finished high school. Then, they began their relationship outside of school and were later married. I can see how that could happen with a young teacher of 22 and an 18 year old.
     
  22. hatima

    hatima Devotee

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    Wow that seems so young for a high school teacher. I'm 24 and remember my high school's drill instructor was married and had an affair with one of her drill girls boyfriends. These two were high school sweethearts. He came from a fairly prominate family. The teacher left her husband (and two small children) for him. His family was mad about her marrage situation and disowned him. It was a huge scandle, she lost her job, partly because of the money of his family it remained out of the media. But she lost her job.
     
  23. Miss W

    Miss W Phenom

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    I think that if you continue to remain professional then you will be fine. If you are professional with each other at school then there should be no problem if (for some reason) you split up. If your students ask you about it during class, just tell them you don't feel like discussing your private life at school.
     
  24. Tbelle1035

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    Mar 31, 2007

    You do not have to answer to any students or their parents about your dating life or any other personal issues for that matter. I hope it all works out for you!

    I work with a lovely married couple, in fact they are good friends with my husband and me. He is a teacher and she is an aide.

    Whenever one has a break, they might visit each other's classroom and they always meet for lunch. It's very sweet.

    I work in a large building and people don't always know who's who, especially the new ones. This year one of the new aides told me that she suspected these two were having an affair because she always saw them together at lunchtime. Too funny!
     
  25. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Who else are you supposed to date?? Is there a life outside of teaching?? I think some situations it could be hairy, but for you it sounds like it is going ok. We had a teacher who dated a student's parent (not one of her students) and they ended up getting married. Everyone thought it was so romantic!

    Probably anywhere you work, it could be tricky dating someone you work with. But, what else are you supposed to do? Where else are you meeting most of the people you meet? I do not think it is anywhere near "unprofessional" and that person who said so is nuts. Just my opinion.
     
  26. TexasAggie2323

    TexasAggie2323 Comrade

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    I have seen it work for the best and I have also witnessed bad things happen from dating someone from your school.

    If you can keep it professional no matter what happens between the both of you then I see no problem with it. My wife and I both are teacher's my wife was not hired by my school because the principal does not want husband/wife teams because of the problems that she has faced with them on campus.
    Luckily, she let me talk her into letting my wife be a tutor for TAKS testing and she most likely will be asked to come on board for next year (if she doesn't she will get a great reccomendation to another local school).
     
  27. Miss Kirby

    Miss Kirby Fanatic

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    Hah... I'm wondering the same thing... I'm basically always working at school..... or working at home.... :tired:
     
  28. Mr. Windchill

    Mr. Windchill Rookie

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    My wife and I work at the same high school along with two other husband/wife combinations. As mentioned above, any contact in kept to a professional level ... I have been accused by my wife of being "cold" toward her during school.
     
  29. Tbelle1035

    Tbelle1035 Cohort

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    Ha! My doctor works in the same office as her husband. Many doctors there. My mother used to observe, "I think they're mad at each other. They walked by each other in the hall and never spoke!" To her it was such a drama. To me, they must pass each other a hundred times a day!
     
  30. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Is it because your name is Mr. Wind"chill?" :)
     
  31. Mr. Windchill

    Mr. Windchill Rookie

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    :D
     
  32. MsWK

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    Why would they lie like that? That, to me, seems totally UNprofessional.


    Conduct yourself professionally. Say hello to your sweetie when you meet in the halls... just don't get caught making out in the teacher's lounge!
     
  33. nicegirl

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    Gosh, I hope my husband never decides he wants to go into teaching. If he did and we landed in the same school I can see him getting detention for trying to pinch my backside in the hall. haha. He's so sweet, but would be SO unprofessional if we worked in the same building. If you can make it work though, more power to you!
     
  34. Teaching Grace

    Teaching Grace Connoisseur

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    lol nice girl! that's funny :) i think that you just need to remain professional about the whole deal.
    there's a teacher at my school (And i just heard this the other day) but apparantly she's taught for several years there and a couple of years ago she started having an affair with another teacher. they were both married to other people.. yep.. were was the key word there. they left and divorced their respective husband/wife and then got married to each other...big to-do becuase the wife of the guy was pregnant at the time.
    of course, everyone has a pool on how long it'll last because he left his first wife for his second wife and left his second wife for this wife....
    just make better decisions than her and stay professional!!

    o, and just tell the child who lives in the same apartment building that though it is your personal business and not his that you and so-and-so are friends and you just left your car there that night.. the kid is probably in bed by like 8 and doesn't know if you spent the night or not..
     
  35. teachingmomof4

    teachingmomof4 Groupie

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    They have the same last name obviously and sometimes the kids ask if they are brother and sister. In a joking way, they might tell the kids that they are. I don't think that's unprofessional at all. It's okay to joke around with kids sometimes. At least they aren't hanging all over one another. (I'm sure that they do tell kids they are husband and wife...both of their kids go to our school and have the same last name. It's not a common last name at all either.)
     

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