Crying on the second day

Crying on the second day UPDATED

WARNING: This post will pretty much sound like a random stream of conscience.

If you asked me Sunday, you would hear that I was slightly nervous but very excited to start school on Monday. I had slaved over my room, planned out my procedures, and written my plans in detail.

It is now Tuesday evening, and I have cried four times in the past three hours. I used to think that classroom management was a strength of mine as I student taught and as I worked at my previous job as an Out-of-School Time Facilitator for six years. HAHAHAHAHA!!! I have TERRIBLE classroom management!

My kids just won't quiet down no matter what I do. I have taught our signal for quieting down, and I wait to move until all students do it, but this still doesn't help. They seriously cannot be in a quiet straight line for anything. It drives me up the wall! I'm not okay with small chit chat in the hall. My students MUST be quiet as a mouse as there is learning going on. It took us 25 minutes, yes 25, to use the restroom today as I can only send four in at a time. A teacher suggested to me that I bring a timer for 10 minutes and any time past that will result in time lost from recess (which is only 10 minutes anyways).

Today I couldn't even finish reading the book because my students would not get quiet. I even read it extremely quietly which only helped for about a minute. We've only gotten through about half of what we needed to get through these past two days.

I introduced my clipchart to my students today. It's a chart where students may move up and move down. I had two students move down and then they just shut down. I had one student that took forever to return to the rug, and when he did he just laid there for about five minutes. Another student walked out of my class which resulted in me having to stop teaching (which made my class loud), go out in the hall to get him to come back in, and then he just walked around the room. I told myself to pick my battles, but then he started lightly kicking my chairs enough for them to make noise.

I am just done. I realize that I am the one who can change this, but I just feel so powerless right now. I feel like a failure of a teacher, and I found myself thinking, "I'm still contracted to just over nine months of this." I'm so ****** off with myself that I cannot control seven year olds.

As I'm saying this, please keep in mind a few things. This school is 90% Free/Reduced Lunch and I came from a school that was 10% Free/Reduced Lunch. All of my practicums/student teaching was in the spring, so I was never able to see how setting up a school year went. We've spent LOTS of times on routines and modeling them and was even complimented on this yesterday.

I have now cried four times since I sent the kids back home. I just NEED to get this class under control by the end of this week in order to ensure a successful school year.

 

I wish I could come give you a reassuring hug, Mrs. Giggles.

I'll pray that your year is a wonderful one. Consistency is going to be huge with this group. Just wear them down with repeated routines.

 

Hugs, Mrs. Giggles. You've been in school for 2 days and they're little; it will take some time and, as Ted said, consistency. Be firm and continue to reinforce your routines. They'll get there.

 

You will get there! Don't get down just yet! It is very possible that these kids have had all summer (that's three straight months) of talking over people, shouting, and being able to do whatever they want. Two days of school isn't going to completely reverse three months of bad behavior. It will take time for them to adjust. In the meantime, keep chugging. You have great procedures in place, and you're a great teacher. You can do it!!!!!

 

Awww, Sounds like my class last year. I had never had so many behavior problems and diagnosed ADHD kids at once. And I too, consider classroom management to be a strength. Basically, like Ted said, wear them down with routines. Find some class and individual behavior programs that you like. (Pinterest is great for this). September was hell for me. It gradually got better. Accept the fact thwt you aren't going to progress as quickly as you'd like.

They were always a noisy bunch, but it got more manageable.

I swear, I've had individual kids who were much tougher, but having so many issues in one room made it the worst year I've ever had. I did get through it, and so will you.

 

Consistency
Consequences
Be a broken record...
Never let them see they're getting to you!
Be firm...this WILL get better!

 

Sorry you're having a rough time. But I wanted to clarify: they only have 10 minutes of recess? If I was a 7 year old with only 10 minutes of recess a day, I'd be crazy in class too.

 

First, I understand your sense of urgency here. And you are right, it is important that you turn this situation around quickly. But take some deep breaths, literally. You CAN turn this around. Let's look at some concrete things you can do tomorrow to help this situation.

The most important thing that you said is, "I cannot control seven year olds." You are absolutely right there - you cannot control them. Only they can control themselves. All you or anyone can do is help them to choose to control themselves. So the question is, how can you help them to do this?

-Your quiet signal - what is it? Since you said yours is not working, maybe take a look at this video and try the one that he does. I did this with my second graders last year and they responded well to it. Vary it each time to keep them on their toes.

https://www.teachingchannel.org/vide...classroom-tone

-The bathroom issue. The teacher's advice to bring a timer might work. But it's always better to make it a positive thing, rather than a take away. Think of something positive you could do with them if they get in and out of the bathroom quickly. Maybe play a game as soon as you get back to class if the whole class can be done in 15 minutes. How many children are in the class? I'd say our class average for 23 second graders is about 10 to 15 minutes. If you have a lot of girls, it might take a little longer. You could do a positive narration during the time they are standing in line: Najay is helping us earn the game. She came in and out quickly and is standing quietly in line. If the class makes the time limit, do a fun game with them - like seven up. Second graders LOVE this game, and will work hard to earn it. It is right up their alley socially speaking.

-The clip chart can be a valuable thing. But right now, use it only to move students up. Having students move their clips down in front of their classmates will not work for this population of students. Their reaction to this is quite typical. They were embarrassed and upset and are not afraid to show it. Better to let them know that they will not be clipping down. Instead, tell them you will keep a clipboard with the class list and you will record any consequences on that. And rather than announcing it to the class, try to keep this private between you and the student. What are your consequences, by the way? What are your incentives?

-The read aloud. Pick a book that is of extremely high interest, such as a fairy tale. Have a student model how to be a good listener and sit on the rug. Then have the other students tell what they saw him do. Now ask for a few other students to show those good listening skills, until everyone is doing it. Keep your intro to the book brief - and ask only a few questions throughout. Your goal here is to have students listen quietly, you are not teaching anything. (In fact, have no concern right now about accomplishing what you feel that you need to academically - getting the class under control is first priority right now). Halfway through, if everyone has been listening well, let them know that you've noticed how well they are paying attention. If anyone starts acting restless or fools around, stop reading mid-sentence and look at them. They will most likely straighten up. If they still don't, say, "I notice you are having trouble focusing. Is there somewhere else you can sit that will help you focus better?" If they elect to sit somewhere else, tell them "You chose a good spot so that you could be a better listener."

If you find that too many are still not attentive, stop reading. Let them know how many pages of the story you read while they listened quietly. Challenge them and say, "Next time, I wonder if you could listen to 10 pages quietly. It's not easy. Nod your head if you think you can do it." Look out at all the head nodders, who will love being challenged, and say "Wow, I can't wait to finish this story tomorrow and see if you can do it."

Baby steps are necessary here. They really are just babies.

Then the next day, remind them of the challenge. They love to prove themselves.

It's understandable that their behavior is very frustrating to you. But keep your focus on what behaviors you want to see. If someone exhibits a behavior that is not what you want to see, always approach it from the angle that they need more information about what you want them to do, more practice.

Keep us updated. We care, and can offer advice to help you and your students succeed.

 

Thank you for all of the kind words. Fortunately, I am in a great school with incredible support. I spoke briefly about it with my instructional specialist, and he asked what time would be best for him to come in and observe so he can help me out. I just never thought I'd dread going to my job my third day in.

I agree that 10 minutes is absolutely ridiculous. We do about one to two Brain Breaks each day, but that definitely does not make up for the short recess. This is why I feel that taking part of recess away is a small disservice to everyone in the classroom, but I don't know what to do. One of my friends mentioned possibly having them with me for lunch to go over specific routines or procedures again.

I'm glad to know that I will get through it. I just feel so out of control right now. Thanks again for all of the kind, reassuring words.

 

Hugs, hugs, hugs! If it helps, we have a fabulous new second grade teacher at our school who was worn out by her class today, and we are not low income. Second graders are squirrelly by nature, which I'm sure doesn't help!!

 

Have you isolated who the catalysts are? Usually there are kids who would start the rowdiness. In your example, the kid that walked out would be a catalyst as he initiated the problem, leading to a chain of events where your entire class started to get loud. Once you've isolated the catalyst, nip those in the butt right away as a priority. Call home, give them detention, whatever. It's very rarely that you'd have an entire class of strong personalities. It's the handful that makes your life difficult because they distract everyone around them.

I know some people don't like it when you discipline kids in front of other kids. But I think when they are at a young age, it's good to make an example of a kid so the other kids are aware. Kind of like a warning.

 

Don't give in to the ones who "shut down" when they are reprimanded. You have to ignore those behaviors. They're testing you to see if they can get you to give in or just plain get a rise out of you. Once you move their clip tell them something they need to do to get back in good favor (ie sit quietly on the rug for the remainder of the lesson, return to your seat, etc.) Ignore any behaviors- even kicking chairs, it might be a little loud and distracting but the other kids should be able to ignore it. Have a firm and consistent consequence- note home, call home, trip to the office if they continue the behavior even after their clip has been moved.

 

Explicitly teach your expectations
Model your expectations
Have students model them
Whole class practice expectations
Repeat
Become a broken record (I teach the same population - eventually, it works)
Stay calm
The second someone is off-task/talks out/whatever - STOP - go back, and teach, model, etc., again, practicing until EVERYONE has it right.
It may take a week or two to get it down, and even then you will have to go back and reteach your expectations on occasion.

Don't introduce too many skills at once. "Our" kids have little to no structure at home, so we have to teach them what it is - what it looks and sounds like, and how it feels. They have to internalize the skills.

While I agree that, initially, you shouldn't move kids down too much on the clip chart, as the days go by, the clips CAN go down as the students show you that they know the rules, routines, and procedures. In addition to RR & P, students need to learn consequences - good and bad - that are earned by their behavior.

The time you take to teach these things in the beginning of the year (it sometimes takes 20 minutes to line up for lunch, because I make them all sit down when people start talking in line, etc.), is time you will get back in instruction later - because you won't have to put out fires everywhere.

JMHO

 

I think something to take note from here is to absolutely get that kid out of your classroom if he is disrupting your class to a point where you can't teach. I try to take pride in disciplining and I don't want to "outsource" my discipline to an administrator if I can. But when a kid brings your entire classroom down, and often I might add, he's gone. He's the administration's problem.

 

Thank you! Thank you! THANK YOU for all of this positive advice. Another teacher had mentioned that I too need to focus more on the positive, and she also gave me a behavior sheet to help with those students who clipped down today. I always say, "I like the way....," but I never hand out specific incentives such as a small class game or even a simple sticker.

I really like your idea of what to do with the read alouds. We will definitely be working on this. I just need to have faith that it will get better, and I noticed that they LOVED the "Find Someone Who" activity as they just love to talk. I think we will also work on discussing and modeling appropriate and not appropriate times to talk. I will then make a conscious effort to instill more opportunities for students to talk.

Thank you all again for the advice! I feel a little better going into tomorrow!

 

If it's the point where you can't teach yes. If as she said, he's kicking chairs so that they're making noise, I think you're more than capable of continuing to teach. If you send the kid out for admins to deal with the second he makes a slight disturbance in the classroom he'll quickly realize that's all he needs to do to get that attention and get out of the room- which very well may be exactly what he wants. Also, many admins aren't going to deal with that on a regular basis. They might become annoyed with the teacher for constantly outsourcing discipline to them or they might stop giving the child a consequence and just sit him in the office for a little break which could become more of a reward for him. I guess it all just depends on the culture of the school, which is something the OP will definitely have to feel out. I would definitely find out the policy for what to do with the student that walked out because you definitely can't stop your teaching to run after him if that's what he decides to do every time he gets reprimanded.

 

So sorry you're feeling so stressed

As others have said, maybe it would help if you rewarded those who ARE doing what you want them to do. My co-op teacher during student teaching had "caught being good" tickets (literally just slips of paper with "________ was caught being good!" typed on them. We would randomly give them out to students who were doing the right thing (especially if others weren't! The students fill in their name and drop it in a bucket. Once a week we drew a few names of students who got to pick a prize from the treasure chest.

Do you have a mentor teacher you can go to for more ideas on how to work with this specific group of kids?

 

An option that we have in our PBIS plan is to send the kid to a "buddy room" where he can go to regroup. At the time, I just didn't even think of that. I have a "regroup" desk in my classroom for students to use for a few minutes. This worked, but he was not happy when I asked him to rejoin us about three minutes later as admin is very big on regrouping should not take a significant amount of time. I have great support from my admin, but they do like to see most issues handled within the teacher's control. I understand this as I want my students to see me as the authoritative figure and not just the administration.

 

I'm a high school teacher, so I have to give props to you for teaching the little ones! I went to a Whole Brain Teaching seminar a few years ago, and if I were an elementary teacher, I'd definitely be giving that a try. Tons of resources at their website, all free.

 

This sounds like my class. I barely have a voice at the end of the day because I am constantly talking over them. They are never all the way quiet. Never. Others have commented about how squirmy they are. I was about in tears today as well.

I'm still struggling, but routines, routines, and more routines. They have to get it eventually. (I hope for both of us anyway!)

 

I'm sorry you had a rough day. I think you are doing 9 things correct, and might be missing one. You know your stuff and have some good routines. Some children will need to have consequences. Some are going to wonder, "What are you going to do if I don't". It is normal for children to test their boundaries. Go back tomorrow and do another great job, but make sure something happens if they choose to not follow directions. It is unnecessary (and probably harmful) to make the consequences large. Keep them small and fair. I would also add rewards (such as group points or a sticker or something small) some of the time when they are good at this age.

I have heard more Day 2 horror stories than any other day from other teachers. I'm not sure why. I do know you are not alone.

 

All I can say is hugs to you! Stick with it, and be strong. It'll get better!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3H50llsHm3k

 

Awww, I was so upset to see a sad post from you because you were SO excited and optimistic just a few days ago. The first few days are rough with the littles. They test, test, test and need to practice, practice, practice. Things don't start running smoothly until you've had a few weeks of consistent practice and follow through.

Last year's class couldn't stop talking - even for stories. One day I finally had to put the book away and tell them that I would not read stories over them and that we'd try again later. That did the trick.

During transitions try to challenge them to see who can do it the quietest and then praise, praise praise.

For the one who lay on the carpet after sitting out - send him right back to his desk. He's not ready to join the group and may need additional practice at a time when the rest of the class is doing something fun.

Don't be afraid to let them have some free time at the end of every day. I call those last 10 minutes before lunch and the end of the day the 'witching hour' - everyone is squirrely and ready for a break. It's okay if they have some play time - they do a lot of learning through play, too!

Chin up, arm yourself with some chocolate and have a great day tomorrow!

 

Teaching is hard. It's even harder in low-SES schools.

Don't beat yourself up. After your tears, go do something fun and get your mind right for tomorrow.

I would also recommend doing more Brain Breaks than one or two per day. You might need to do one or two per hour. Many kids, especially little ones, have very short attention spans. Heck, I'm grown and I get bored after about 15 minutes of something.

 

Look into smartclassroommanagement.com

There is a book you can read called Dream Class. I downloaded it onto my iPad. I retread it every year before school starts to help me focus on how I want to run my class. The author sends out an email with reminders and techniques if you sign up for them.

(The web site is owned by the author of the book.)

I don't use every strategy suggested, but I will say the year I started using most of them was the year things fell into place for me.

Don't beat yourself up. You are learning, and so are they. A least once a week sit down and journal what worked, what didn't work, and what you want to do differently next year. That will be a huge help in getting you started next year.

Also, slow down. Now is not the time to work on academics. Focus on routines and behavior, so you can spend the rest of the year on academics. The students want to please you, but they really need to know the rules, routines, and boundaries.

 

You have to remember...that they are still young at beginning of year. I know when I taught 1st and I'd see them getting wiggly...I would say push in your chairs and we would stretch like a tree or do a quiet shake the wiggles out. It would help them, so we could refocus.

Like the others if during teaching or reading time... I would say I like how so and so is listening to me. I like how so and so is being a good 1st grader. It would remind the others.

In the hall/bathroom time I would tell them if we get a compliment we can play a game (like hangman or something) when we get back to the room. This helps them want to do it themselves. OMGosh the peer pressure in the class to line up quietly, be in the hall quietly was much better than me asking them all the time. I would see kids turn and do the Shh sign.

I had a chatty class...like you sometimes it didn't bother me and others it did. Just stick to your rules during that time when It is a MUST to be quiet.

 

What positive reward system are you using? Do you have a reward system for individual, team, and whole group rewards? Rewards don't have to be huge things, but to reinforce positive behaviors, it's great to offer positive rewards. Even pointing out the students who are doing really great can turn a whole class around. "Sandy is doing so great! Awesome job Sandy! I love how Sandy is sitting, listening quietly while Mrs. Giggles is reading." Many times the whole class will want to be just like Sandy.

Then if you have a system in place, "I am going to give Sandy a Mrs. Giggles Buck" or whatever your reward system is.... Bucks can be spent at the end of the week on homework passes, lunch with the teacher, a treasure chest, ect.....

Seven year olds respond really, really well to reward systems & positive reinforcement!

 

I wonder if the Whole Brain Teaching or Power Teaching techniques would be helpful for getting them to attend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8zHAK0vJM

..

 

Did he rejoin even though he was unhappy about it- or did he stay there? If he refused to leave I would ask him one more time and possibly even (maybe not the first time but if it happens often) give a consequence for not returning. "Joey I can see that you don't want to come back to the group. You look like you're ready to come back so if you don't join us in the next few minutes I'll have to _________." (Ask you to make up the work at recess, give you the work for homework, talk to your mother, whatever is going to work for you.) After that- leave him there. Even if he does try to stay for a long period of time. It will show him that his negative behavior isn't going to get any of your attention. When he does decide to rejoin the group make a HUGE deal out it. Lots and lots of positive praise. That way when it happens again he'll know the only way to get your attention is by rejoining the group.

Many kids who act out are looking for attention. They don't know how to get positive attention so they look for negative attention. If you show him that staying at the table or doing whatever else wrong isn't going to get any negative attention and show him lots of positive attention when he does the right thing- he'll learn to seek the positive attention. You can be overly positive to the point of being ridiculous. I've been heard saying, "I love the way you picked up your pencil, you're ready to learn!" "I love the way you're facing forward on the rug!" "I love the way you put your name on the paper." Simple things, but he needs to learn how to be praised.

 

I would give more time to let them regroup than 3 minutes, personally. Can students still see the lesson from the desk? If not, I would move it to where they can. That way, they are not missing a lesson but in a designated cool off spot.

I have found students in a cool off area of the room will cool off and start participating while still sitting at the cool off spot. They sort of opt themselves back into the lesson.

I wanted to commend you for seeking help so quickly. A lot of first year teachers don't want to let the truth out about an unruly atmosphere and wind up having these issues or worse all year. With your persistence, things will turn around.

 

Just know that every teacher has had those break down moments and possibly at some point in our careers questioned and left work in a mess.

The positive is that their are strength in numbers, surround yourself with positive people that you can decompress with. You may not think so at the moment, but eventually you will be able to look back on the start of your teaching career and so wow, I have truly made it. Then maybe eventually you can begin to laugh and smile at the thought.

I know you will be awesome! Big hugs going your way.

 

Hope you're hanging in all right, Mrs.Giggles! Sending you lots and lots of positive thoughts.

 

Have you used Time to Teach by Fred Jones? It's a good program, you should read it. I also work in a 90% free and reduced school, so I understand a bit how you feel. My first year was a lot like your group sounds like. I use a clip chart also. But Fred Jones talks about not really using consequences for a week (or two, but a week is enough for 5th - my grade) but teaching and reteaching behavior you want. They are called teach-tos. So you have to really spend the first week just teaching procedure and how you want the kids to behave and then positively reinforce that. If they are misbehaving, you reteach the teach to. That way, once you get to the consequence, clip-chart phase, kids know what to expect explicitly.

 

I was seriously SO sad to read this because you were SO excited to get started! I really hope things have started getting better...please update when you get a chance.

 

This is a really interesting post. While I praise, praise, praise I also give consequences on the first day if necessary to show something is not acceptable. You've given me lots to think about!

 

Hi all! Thanks for all of the advice, suggestions, and kind words.

I'm going to be honest, the third day was worse than the second. I even entertained the idea of breaking my contract (that was only entertained for a few hours).

Yesterday, I had started handing out more incentives and starting team points. Just like the two days before, the behavior just went downhill throughout the day. I find myself saying, "I'll wait." Some students would say, "Guys, she's waiting," while others would take this as the perfect opportunity to talk. Around 3:00 another teacher walked into my room and asked how I was doing. As soon as I looked at her she said, "Go. Go. Go. I've got this." I just went into the bathroom and bawled. I also knew that this couldn't be a daily occurrence, but I just didn't know how to stop it. When I left the restroom, I ran into my mentor and the tears started again. Fortunately, I was about to be pulled for an assessment training, so I was supposed to be out of my room anyways. I went home and cried that night, and truly considered breaking my contract. Around 8:00, I receive a call from a number I didn't recognize. It was my P, and she asked how I was doing. I just broke down again (I swore that I would NEVER cry in front of my P.) She was incredibly encouraging and just spoke about why she knew I'd be a great teacher and how much she just loved my energy and knew that I'd be perfect for my students. This made me feel better, but I still felt down for the rest of the night and this morning.

However, today was a 180 degree turnaround. I went in with a more firmer tone while trying to lower my enthusiasm. I had tried not having my kids move their clips down, but I realized that wasn't going to work for my specific group of kids. Today I had about 8 out of my 21 clips moved down, but I had much better behavior. My students were attentive, respectful, and they even earned a small incentive of playing Heads Up 7 Up at the end of the day for behaving so well. I think they just needed to see that I meant business. My voice is not naturally authoritative, and even when I am trying to be that way, it still doesn't sound very intimidating. Am I expecting this behavior every day? No. Am I expecting it tomorrow? It'd be nice, but no. However, I'm glad that I had this day to show me that this is worth sticking to and that I'm going somewhere in the right direction. I even had a little girl say to me today, "Mrs.Giggles, I'm so sorry that I'm on a yellow day. I promise tomorrow that I will do better." I also had some kids really open up to me today about some stuff going on in their life. Today was the day that I needed as it showed me that I'm where I need to be.

Thanks again for all of the advice and just allowing me to vent!

 

Yay!!! Great post to read. We are always here for you.

 

Yes, you can expect it! That's so great to hear things went well, and now you can build on that momentum!

 

I'm so glad to hear you had a better day! Keep your head high and remember - you're their teacher, not their friend. It's amazing how much kids will still love you...even when their clip is on red :lol: Be firm, be consistent, be fair.

You gots this

 

I like this

This is how I handle my 4 and 5 year olds. If they "lay down" or talk, etc, back to the table/desk they go until they are ready to listen.
As for the one wandering around the room, now that you know he is a trouble maker, have him sit right smack in front of you or put a small chair next to you.:thumb: