Crying is driving me crazy.

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by txmomteacher2, Nov 16, 2016.

  1. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    Nov 16, 2016

    I teach kinder and several of my kids never went to daycare or head start so they have been with Mom with little or no separation. So here is my problem. I have one little girl who is still crying when she comes to school even 12 weeks into the school year. Mom and I seem to be on the same page as far as getting her to school. There is no staying home just because. Mom has contacted me several,times about the issue. There seems to be different reasons all the time as tomwhynshe doesn't want to come to school. One time it was moms bday. Another time it was someone was bullying her. Another time it was she didn't like to go to computer lab. All kinds of excuses. I have been pretty patient up to this point but I find myself being less and less patient and telling her she needs to stop, go wash her face, get it together and continue our day. This morning our library aide was walking with her and consoling her. All I could was say lets go lets get to class. I feel bad on one hand but on the other hand I'm like enough is enough. It's 12 weeks in and we need to just get our day started. None of my own children were like this except maybe my youngest. She doesn't cry but she does hate school. Anyway just venting but feel free to tear me apart for being so insensitive. Lol.
     
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  3. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    Nov 16, 2016

    She may just not be mature enough for school.
     
  4. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Nov 17, 2016

    Yikes! Thankfully, at this point in the year, we don't have anymore criers at my school. We did have one parent of a kindergartener, however, let us know that her child will not be returing to school this year (student was crying every single day for about six weeks). She said, "We'll give it another try next year."

    What a disservice she's doing for her child!
     
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2016
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  5. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    Nov 17, 2016

    Would an incentive work? Like if she comes in without crying she can do a special job? You are a saint - the crying would have done me in weeks ago!!
     
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  6. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    All I am going to say in next weeks break can not come fast enough. But I am sure it will be worse when return after having Mom for 5 days.
     
  7. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    Nope this isn't it. She is mature enough. She is the baby though and is probably treated that way at home for the most part. She is definitely a strange little one. On the outside she pretends to be this tough girl. She plays football with the boys and doesn't take any guff from the boys either, She has punched boys in the stomach when she has felt threatened. (one reason why i didn't really believe the bullying story) But man does she wear her heart on her sleeve. She can be very funny and goofy but the crying is tough for me to take.
     
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  8. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    I am not a huge rewarder of things. I truly believe that we give wayyyy to many rewards for behaviors that should be a given. I have 15 other kids who can come to school and not cry. I know this sounds so harsh and not at all PC but I am a no nonsense kind of teacher. Just some to school and I will do my best to make it enjoyable and fun.
     
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  9. love2teach

    love2teach Enthusiast

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    Nov 17, 2016

    Is your school psychologist involved at all? If not, I would get him/her on board right away. Perhaps there is more than meets the eye with this little girl.
    I feel your pain, I would not have any thing left if I had a kid crying every single day. I am not a huge reward person either, but she might need a behavior plan with an incentive attached to it.....for now.
     
  10. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    We don't have a psychologist. I don't think there is anything underlying in her crying. I just think she is very attached to her family. Like I said she is the baby of the family and has been treated as such.
     
  11. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    I agree - I reward conservatively. However, this behaviour has persisted for 12 weeks, so she is using it to meet a need. She would not continue if she had another way to meet whatever need it is. I believe all behaviour meets at least 1 of 5 needs: fun, belonging, survival, power, freedom. Once we know what need she is trying to meet, we can offer her other ways to achieve her goal.

    http://colwood.sd62.bc.ca/wp-content/uploads/sites/14/2015/10/The-Basic-Needs.pdf
     
  12. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    Yes I think I have figured it out. Power she wants power over her mother. This mornings text from Mom is that she is now "terrified" of gym. All of the excuses she has given I feel are a way for her to stay home with mom.
     
  13. otterpop

    otterpop Phenom

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    Nov 18, 2016

    This is what I'd do at this point. If she cries and she gets coddled, it's kind of giving in to she wants. I'm a very caring teacher, but it sounds like she could use *less* attention for this behavior.

    I know that sounds harsh and some would disagree, but I think that's the approach I'd try at this point! Then, try to make class a little extra "fun" for her maybe, when she's not crying, to show her that she has more fun when participating.
     
  14. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    Oh I am not the coddling type of teacher at all. I am tired of the crying. I am also tired of the new excuses she is coming up with and telling Mom. Today's excuse is she is terrified of the gym. Not gonna fly with me sorry.
     
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