Cribs and Five year old

Discussion in 'Early Childhood Education Archives' started by Grammy Teacher, Nov 1, 2005.

  1. teacherece

    teacherece Cohort

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    Nov 3, 2005

    Beth, but how much farther would you go in this case? Does going to principal satisfy that? What if they don't do anything about it. Are you off the hook (so to speak) because you reported it to them? Yikes...I'm starting to get scared to teach now.
     
  2. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Nov 3, 2005

    Yes, technically if you report it to your supervisor you are "off the hook." That's not to say that you'll feel satisfied with just doing that if your supervisor doesn't follow up, but you can't be held accountable if you've reported it to your boss.
    In this case, I probably wouldn't go any further. I'd document what was said by the child and let my supervisor know about it. I'd probably try to bring it up with mom (somehow!) without insulting her or making her feel the need to become defensive. Like I said, there may not be much else to be done now, but in a year or two when she's in first grade or so if she still says that she's sleeping in a crib, it may be time to notify social services because I feel that that would constitute as neglect.
     
  3. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Nov 3, 2005

    We are required to report any suspicions to our supervisor and this has been done. we continue to keep an eye on things, not necessarily that we are thinking there is abuse. She is a little stinker in general and I do keep in contact with the mother ... every week, concerning her cold, behavior issues, etc. She is really very little and cute and very smart. I think as she matures this year, she will tell me things. I am going to address the crib issue somehow. I may end up being very direct and telling her that her daughter told me she is sleeping in a crib...and then just wait for a reaction and continue from there. I have a feeling the little girl has already told her we talked about it!!! This whole group of kids is very vocal about everything! Today was strange in a way. She told me that she goes to lots of different stores. She has one of those moms that drags her to Wal Mart after work and all over the place to shop(for basically nothing) I've seen her wandering around with this child in the cart blabbing away.
     
  4. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Nov 4, 2005

    I have called DHS on parents before. I have gone to principals. Calling DHS was the worst. I had to call because one middle school girl decided to tell me her life story. Which was her father locked her in her bedroom when she was home and she went the bathroom in a bucket. He thought she was ugly and didn't deserve to be out in the house. I don't know what happened because I moved back to Maine.
     
  5. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Nov 4, 2005

    Jaime, that's aweful.

    Grammy, prehaps you could ask your supervisor to use her office ot talk to mom. That way she wouldn't feel like you are talking to her too opening into front of others?

    I know what you all mean about documenting wierd behaviors. But where do we draw the line and say "you know, these parents are really trying and doing well with what they have". I know a lot of times it's easier said than done (buy a mattress, etc.). It may be way more easier for us because we see it through our eyes, not theirs.

    I remember when my dad was younger, my grandpa was laid off and they had to cut up their living room furniture for fire wood to keep warm during the winter. To some people it may seem odd and not normal, but to them they had to do what they needed in order to survive. Know what I mean?

    I personally could not let my child at this age sleep in a crib, but I guess there are many families that have to do what they have to do in order to keep food on the tables and warmth in their houses. Maybe she hasn't thought of alternatives. Many parents just need to be educated in these situations, and some very much appreciate it. Other don't, which is sad. Seems like this one doesn't want to be educated in the chilkd rearing aspects. Just wanted to give another side.
     
  6. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Nov 4, 2005

    I agree. I don't think that social services should be called just because a five year old sleeps in a crib, but if mom has been spoken to and given some other options to think about and the child is still in a crib in elementary school, there's something more than just money issues going on there. All of the children I work with right now come from low-income families. Most of them have vouchers for daycare because they cannot afford to pay for it themselves. I see kids coming in in clothes that don't fit or wearing the same shirt 3 days a week because they don't have the money for new clothes. I've heard of all sorts of things that these kids suffer through because they don't have a lot of money. Most times, this is not the parent's fault. On the other hand, when you have a child (as I've had) tell me that she sleeps on the couch and doesn't have a pillow to use because her pillow has lice....that's a problem. Those are the cases in which social services needs to be notified. I think that many times it's a very difficult judgement call to make. You just have to go with your gut feeling about it and decide what type of action is warranted.
     
  7. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Nov 4, 2005

    I would hope that SS would help them out though instead of berade them and make them feel like bad parents. Some counties are like that, ours isn't too bad. It depends on who you get.

    I think in these situations that parents would appreciate (I would hope) being given some materials on the matter with numbers they can call for sponsership and donations. Our county has a huge handful of organizations that help needy families, especially during Christmas. Now would actually be the best time to help these families since it's almost that season:). We have a volunteer center that makes lists of families for people to call and sponser them, among other things. I think we may do one this year:). We don't have a lot to give, but we could at least make some child's Christmas delightful.

    I still think it would be a blessing for everyone at Grammy's center to sponser them for getting a mattress for the girl, if it's found that they have room for one.
     
  8. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Nov 4, 2005

    Most of the situations that I've seen were SS is involved, they are providing assistance to the families (free daycare, counseling, parenting tips, etc). I actually had a mother crying to me the other day because SS was closing her case. I thought that getting out of the system would be a good thing, but she doesn't know what she's going to do without their help.

    I always try to give during the holidays. We have a canned food drive going on at work right now and I've brought some things in already. I think we're giving the donations to the salvation army to disperse as they see fit. You're right, though, now is the perfect time.
     
  9. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Nov 4, 2005

    I think that's what I love about the holiday season. Outside of the shopping and craziness, is a season of giving and love. If I had lots of money I would buy everyone I know a great big present. I love giving:). I especially love giving to those who need things more than I do, because I believe that there is always someone, no matter how bad your situation, that is off way worse than yourself. I'm trying to teach this to the hubby right now:);)
     
  10. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Nov 4, 2005

    I completely agree! Here we go getting off-topic again, though! haha
     
  11. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Nov 4, 2005

    I don't think it's getting too far off topic. It's reinstating that maybe Grammy's center should consider giving this family some much needed help...get into the spirit of giving:).
     
  12. scarlet_begonia

    scarlet_begonia Comrade

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    Nov 5, 2005

    When you're in preschool, you usually are aware of which families are needier than others. My son's daycare would send out notices around this time every year that they were going to help x number of school families this year and would list the ages and sexes of the children. I was on that list two years and my son and I really wouldn't have had a Christmas if not for his school. So many people donate to different charities at Christmas time and you never really know where the money/toys/clothes go. I think a set up like this really helps people who need it.

    I work in an inner city district now, and I see these kids come to school in outfits that cost more than 2 of my outfits put together. These preschoolers dress a LOT nicer than my son. So when I watch them pass around information on which church is giving out groceries, which charity has the best toys this year, and where to go for whatever the freebie of the day is, it really upsets me that people's giving spirits are so taken advantage of. I think "adopting" families at Christmas is a wonderful idea--you know the person getting the gifts is really in need.
     
  13. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Nov 5, 2005

    Scarlet, I love that idea...giving to people you know. I have done that in various ways. I would like to comment on something that has bothered my slightly in the past. There are many times single moms on assistance because of their income and they have small children. I have seen time after time where these moms drive nicer cars than I do, their children are dressed in "name brand" clothing, they buy houses nicer than mine, and they are able to go on vacations to places like Vegas. I am not against helping families out, but it has always puzzled me why I am busting my butt off so to speak to pay the bills and that's about it.
     
  14. GlendaLL

    GlendaLL Aficionado

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    Nov 6, 2005

    Grammy - When I worked for Migrant Head Start, we had a few families that did this. They drove huge, very expensive pick-up trucks and did the name brand clothes/shoes. Their children attended the Center at no charge to them. (The payment comes from you and me and all taxpayers.) They would make these "mysterious" trips to Texas/Mexico on a regular basis.
     
  15. scarlet_begonia

    scarlet_begonia Comrade

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    Nov 6, 2005

    Grammy, GlendaLL, I could go on and on with this one.......but all I'll say is that I am now VERY careful about who I donate to. Even if you don't have a program like this at your school or your child's school, everyone knows someone in need. This year, I plan on helping the family of a friend. They have 9 kids (7 at home) and dad is very ill. The situation is a mess--they were broke before the dad got sick, and now he's not working! I just have to come up with a tactful way of approaching them.
     
  16. sdhudgins

    sdhudgins Comrade

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    Nov 6, 2005

    This story is sooo odd
    both my kids were out of the crib by 22 months!
    (The son out of necessity because baby sister was on the way, the girl because she is part monkey and started climbing)
    They're both in toddler beds and he'll be 5 in a few weeks and I feel odd about THAT.. I couldn't imagine him still being in a crib!!!
    (I'm hoping to just be able to wait til we move to get a twin bed, but it looks like he's starting to grow too fast for that to happen!!!)
     
  17. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Nov 7, 2005

    I had almost gotten a toddler bed for my son, but when I thought more about it, I didn't want to have to replace something else a couple more years down the line. So, we ended up getting him a twin bed at a little over 2 years old. He looked like a little muchkin in his bed for awhile, but he liked it. At least we don't have to replace it now for a long time, if ever. If people are too afraid of them falling out then you can just get a guard rail. We didn't, he learned and did fine actually.
     
  18. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Nov 7, 2005

    I hope this crib situation isn't because the mom just doesn't want to deal with the child getting up in the morning. KWIM?
     
  19. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Nov 7, 2005

    That's partly my concern about it. Is mom just trying to keep her "locked up" so she can't bother her? I would hope that's not the reason behind it....I really hope it's a money/space issue.
     
  20. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Nov 7, 2005

    No, she is able to get in and out of her crib. She said she sleeps in the living room sometimes and mom sleeps on the couch. The mom is just lazy and dumb. The little girl is actually very happy and smart!
     
  21. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Nov 7, 2005

    So sad....
    I have come across many lazy and dumb parents and it makes me sick.
     

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