Cribs and Five year old

Discussion in 'Early Childhood Education Archives' started by Grammy Teacher, Nov 1, 2005.

  1. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Today one of my little girls in my class told me she sleeps in a crib. She will be 5 in the spring. She didn't indicate that is a problem for her, although she has serious issues regarding rest time at Preschool(won't be quiet or lay still) Anyway, I quietly asked some of the other kids if they slept in a crib and none of them did. Some of them looked at me in disbelief and laughed at the idea of such a thing. What do you guys think about this?
     
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  3. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Grammy, I'm shocked!! My kids were out of the crib by two and a half!! I think my daughter was two!! That isn't right.......just my two cents!
     
  4. Grammy Teacher

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    That's what I think. The family seems a bit strange. She is clean, but wearing out dated clothing and not ever anything cute or new. Somehow I want to address the crib issue, but of course this will be touchy. Not sure how to do it yet. I surfed the net but can't find anything specific , except stories of children who were adjusting to their twin beds at about age 2!!!
     
  5. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Isn't one of the unofficial rules, when a child starts to climb out of the crib in the middle of the night, it's time for a bed? That's sort-of what I always thought. Four years old and in a crib seems very strange....
    Maybe it's a money issue, who knows? I definitely wouldn't know how to approach it with the parents, though.
     
  6. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    The first thing that came to my mind was those abuse cases where kids are kept locked up in cages.......now, I'm not saying that is what is going on. But it just reminded me of those cases.
     
  7. AMK

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    I don't think her clothing is an issue. The majority of my students are low income and they wear old hand me downs and their "new clothes" are used. But I am happy as long as they have something to wear and are clean.
    The crib is def an issue. Maybe you can find some information on how old children start sleeping in a bed and pass it on to the parents. Like what Roseio said maybe it is a money issue. Maybe they just don't know that their child should be sleeping in bed and not in a crib.
     
  8. Grammy Teacher

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    Yes, I agree about the clothes not being an issue. I just wanted to add that so you could get a better picture of her and her family. Some of the things she wears are very odd...almost as though they are all from the 80's era which makes us wonder if they were her mom's clothes. Anyway, money is an issue from what I can tell and one thing I thought about was perhaps they don't have room for a bigger bed in her bedroom. She said mom sleeps on the couch, grama has her own bedroom and she has her own bedroom, but grama and mom have lots of stuff sitting in her room . She gives me lots of hugs and she seems to be happy enough, but is also a little devil at times...more so than some of the others.
     
  9. smilesjd

    smilesjd Rookie

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    I agree, I think the child should be out of a crib by now, but money could be an issue.

    I don't have children, but my aunt and uncle do. After a crib, they went to a boxspring and mattress on the floor. It was always in a corner, so there is a wall at the top and one side. In between the mattress and boxspring they stuck a child safety railing so they couldn't fall out. Then the bottom was left open so the child could get in and out. When the child got older and taller, they got a bedframe. Without having one it makes it easier for the child to get in and out of bed without falling when they are still small. They still call it a "Big girl bed". Also this way the child has two things to look forward to and get excited about! Just something I thought when I read all the posts...
     
  10. Grammy Teacher

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    I like that idea for a bed and is rather inexpensive. I am going to research for something on "sleep issues" (because I guess she has them) and maybe that would be one of the things discussed...the child's bed ... Another thing they used to do was put a "bonnet" on her when she was too old to wear one(it barely fit) and she looked ridiculous! Maybe they just don't know what is appropriate for a little girl this age. It's almost as though they're holding her back, trying to keep her little.
     
  11. Danny'sNanny

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    If it was a money issue, couldn't they just lay the crib mattress on the floor? It seems better than keeping her in a crib...
     
  12. Grammy Teacher

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    I was just reading on the internet about beds and kids and one mom said that her relatives girls slept in their cribs till they were 5 and there were no "issues" about it. I think many years ago it was more common and I am wondering if this particular family is just real old fashioned(like the clothes)
     
  13. Lanie

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    Maybe she has convertible crib that converts to a toddler bed/day bed. I would ask her a few more questions before I mentioned it to her mom. Maybe ask her if she climbs out of her crib or if the rail is down. Is there a rail? I have a five year-old and that seems totally unnatural to me.
     
  14. Grammy Teacher

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    The little girl told me she can climb in and out of her bed. She said sometimes she sleeps in the living room(that is where her mom sleeps, she said) I don't want to bring it up directly to the mom. She is kind of defensive and I don't see her much. I will ask a few more questions of the girl, but don't want the other kids to hear us so will have to be careful of feelings!
     
  15. becky

    becky Enthusiast

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    It sounds to me like money is a big thing troubling this family. That could be why the mom is defensive. You feel rotten if you can't do for your kids.

    Jeanne has been out of a crib since she was three. Her crib was huge, though, and she probably could still fit in it! It was huge and wide, and I've never seen a crib that size.
     
  16. becky

    becky Enthusiast

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    I didn't see anything about a father...
     
  17. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Money issue or not, it's ODD!! Grammy, a bonnet???? How old was she then? Sounds eerily weird to me!! They could sell the crib and use that money for a bed......I've seen them for not too much $. Also, if they are that poor, salvation army could help out or goodwill.
     
  18. becky

    becky Enthusiast

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    You have to be careful where you get bedding from, though.
    Before Jeanne was born I bought a used, complete Jenny Lind(sp?) set- crib, changing table, cradle, etc.
    The crib mattress was loaded with flea eggs! Before I realized that fact, I gave it to my dog to lay on, planning to buy a new one. Geeze, what a mess.
    I got rid of every stitch of that whole set.
     
  19. Syele

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    It is dangerous for a child to sleep in a crib if she is too big for it! Just google Crib Safety if you want to see that listed as a safety rule. there are weight limits and concerns about kids climbing over the top of a high rail.

    I have seen the convertible beds Lanie mentioned though.. for the toddler bed part I think three sides of it still look like a crib.. it just removes one side. So the kid might still call it that.
     
  20. Upsadaisy

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    I would worry about the psychological issue of infantilizing a 5 year old. That could be a way to bring up the issue without mentioning the bed. If your communication with all parents emphasizes the importance of assisting the children to progress developmentally (in all areas) that might help. I do this with my 5th graders' parents. Instead of cautioning the over-zealous parents not to be over-involved, I continually emphasize the importance of 5th graders preparing to function independently in middle school.
     
  21. Mable

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    MY first thought was, Uh OH. I am thinking that there are SO many places that would donate a bed or find a bed at a thrift store, that the money issue is minimal. But maybe this family doesn't know just how many organizations there are out there that help people who need help...What's this doing to her long-term? Five is way to big to be in a "cage" atmosphere.
     
  22. JenPooh

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    This is the first thing that ran through my mind. Anything that resembles this should not be used for a child this age, inlcuding nuks/pacifiers, diapers, etc. People need to let their kids grow.

    If it is a money situation there are so many places that could sponser them on a Christmas donation list, or something similar. If they are involved in a church, they could go to their church and ask for help. Do they seem too proud to take donations? Some people are like that, but if the situation calls for it you have to do whats right for your family.

    I think some more digging should be done before assuming everything, but if you find that it's soley a money issue you could try and find a place to sponser the family and surprise them for the Christmas season. What a wonderful surprise that would be. Would your center be willing to chip in money to do something nice for the needy family? What a gracious gift that would be from your center.
     
  23. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    I agree with everyone. It is rather odd. It does sound like Money might be an issue. I wonder if they go to church?
    Our school has a giving tree at x-mas that needy families give a list to the nurse what they need and then it goes on the tree as A family, B family, and so on. They all get assigned a letter of the abc's so no one knows who they are.
     
  24. Grammy Teacher

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    I am trying to find out a bit more. Today I asked the little girl if she likes her crib and she said, "Yea." Then I asked her if there was room for a big girl bed in her room and she said, "No there is already a big bed in there." I asked her why and she said it is her mom's. I get the feeling that it's a two bedroom house. One room for grama and the other has been for the little girl and her mom since she was born. I don't believe the mom and dad were ever married. This little girl does see him on occasion and he has a wife and a couple of other kids.Anyway, it sounds as though they might not have room for another bed in there. I wonder what they are ever going to do. She told me she sleeps in the living room a lot too, by her mom, who I am assuming is asleep on the couch. One time I asked the mom if she had a regular bed time and she said it doesn't work with her. She won't go to bed and if she does, she tosses and turns for a couple of hours. It sounds to me like quite a "situation" that they have created for her...no stability at bed time... Oh as for the bonnet, she wore it when she was 3 years old and stopped when she came to our floor, the older kids.
     
  25. JenPooh

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    Grammy, is this the same child who has sleep issues at nap that you were talking about not long ago?
     
  26. Grammy Teacher

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    yes
     
  27. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Oh, you're back......we were wondering where you went!!!! I said you were looking for something to put on your cat's head again!!!
     
  28. JenPooh

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    I thought so. Seems like all of the pieces of the story are coming together. Interesting.
     
  29. JaimeMarie

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    Grammy,
    My heart goes out to that poor child.
     
  30. Beth2004

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    It really seems like the little girl is lacking any sort of stability or routine when it comes to bedtime. How sad. No wonder she struggles at rest time.
    I can understand people having money issues, but having a 5 year old in a crib just seems nuts.

    On a similar note, I found out recently that a little boy and little girl I have at work share a bed. I'm assuming that this is also because of it being a 2 bedroom house and not having enough room for 2 beds in one room. The thing that makes this so absurd is that the girl is 10 and the boy is 6!
     
  31. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    My brother and I shared a bed at my dad's when we went to visit at that age.
    But we had our own rooms at mom's house.
    Oh and we only went every other weekend if that.
     
  32. Beth2004

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    I don't see anything wrong with just for weekends or whatever, but for every single night? I don't know, I just hope that they make other arrangements by the time she's a teenager.
     
  33. JenPooh

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    I guess some people have to do what they have to do. At least they aren't sharing a crib though. Do you know what size bed they share? Maybe it's a queen or a full and they got it from someone for free?
     
  34. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    I'm not sure what size it is, but I just hope it's not a twin!

    I hope that the little girl in Grammy's class gets her own bed soon, though. Can you imagine her being in first grade and still in a crib?
     
  35. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    That would be horrible for her. They could at least put the mattress on the floor for her like one post suggested. At least she wouldn't feel like a baby. Grammy, does she have sleep issues, like night terrors or sleep walking that they are concerned about?
     
  36. Beth2004

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    I was thinking the same thing about the mattress on the floor. I think that would be much better than the crib. Also, they sell air mattresses in all sizes at Walmart (and other places) for pretty cheap. You can get a twin-size air mattress at Walmart for about $25-$30.
     
  37. Grammy Teacher

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    People like that make me feel just plain mad. They are dumb...the mom and the grama is stuck (she thinks)but man I would not put up with that. She needs stuff like other kids her age.
     
  38. teacherece

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    I would rather hear that she shares a bed with her mom than be in a crib. Most cribs can be dismantled and it could be almost like a daybed if they took the side off. My kids outgrew their cribs length wise because they were tall...what about this little girl. How sad. Does the mom work? Where do they live? What can you do as a teacher? I'm sure this will happen to me when I start teaching...what do you do? Do you try to help or is that an intrusion?
     
  39. Beth2004

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    It's a very touchy subject, that's for sure. It definitely wouldn't be easy to discuss with the mom because I'm sure it would make her become defensive. For now I would think that there isn't much that can be done except maybe trying to send some suggestions mom's way, but if she's still in a crib in a year or two and mom hasn't listened to any advice from anyone it may be a job for social services.
     
  40. teacherece

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    Beth, my thinking is, should Grammy document this and at least speak with the principal. What if something very serious was going on at home? Where does responsibility as a teacher end? I know I'll come across these things when I teach, so I'd love to find out now. I don't think I could just do nothing but I understand not wanting to offend the mom, etc. This is the part of teaching that no one ever talks about. As I read this I can't help but to think about the little boy in the book "Dibs" we had to read last semester. Very sad true story of abused boy. Oh, I'm so sad now and I'm going to keep worrying about this little girl. I wonder if she's a happy girl at school? I would definitely get the principal and school psychologist involved, at least for my own sanity.
     
  41. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    As teachers we are mandated reporters. I recently read-up on this on the dept of ed website for my state and in Mass, if a teacher is aware of something (neglect, abuse, etc) that is going on at home and does not report it, that person can be charged a fine up to $1000. Documenting the information and at least notifying your immediate supervisor is pretty much a necessity.
     

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