Crazy Wedding

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by silverspoon65, May 15, 2011.

  1. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    May 15, 2011

    BF and I went to my college friend/first roommate's wedding last night.

    It was a Vegas theme - they said since they couldn't afford to take everyone to Vegas, they were going to bring Vegas to us. The wedding was 7-11 with no dinner - just cocktails. They made their entrance at around 7:15, but they actually waited until almost 9 to do the actual ceremony. They took down the buffet and turned the center of the room into an aisle and there was a little stage. She had Elvis marry them and he even walked her down the aisle, singing to her.

    After the ceremony and the wedding party walked out, they all came back in except for the couple. The DJ announced that the couple had a little secret and everyone should look at the screens on either side of the room. A video started playing of her in a different wedding dress with her husband and a different Elvis. I turned to my BF and said "OMG they already got married in Vegas." So we got to watch their Vegas elopement video, and then towards the end, the Elvis says "On this day, June 2009, I pronounce you man and wife" the whole room erupted with "2009!!!" They had already been married for TWO YEARS! And they hadn't told anyone, even their parents! She said the only people that knew were her boss because she had to put him on her benefits, and they had told his mom last week because they thought she might be upset.

    They came back into the room after the video and she made a really really nice speech about how they wanted to do something without the fuss that was just about the two of them, and that she was also grateful to have this day to share it with all of their family and friends. It was actually really nice. Some people looked kind of ticked off but I think it was funny and neat that they had this little thing they could share between the two of them.

    I ran into her sister in the bathroom and she was annoyed because I guess she was being a total bridezilla and also told her that SHE couldn't get engaged until after her wedding because it was her time in the spotlight basically. And then she had already been married for 2 years. So she wasn't super happy about that. But otherwise, I think most people got over it. Her dad thought it was awesome.

    What do you think, or do you have any crazy wedding stories? I am really tempted to do something similar now... lol
     
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    " The wedding was 7-11 with no dinner - just cocktails."

    For starters, cocktails without food is beyond bad taste. It's dangerous to give people booze without food.

    Secondly, I've never understood that whole "my time in the spotlight" thing. I think that anyone who acts in such a childish manner should probably reconsider the idea of marriage.

    As to the secret: it wouldn't be my thing, but different strokes for different folks.
     
  4. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    There was plenty of food, just not a formal sit down dinner.

    Having lived with her for a year and a half after college - I totally understand how she is when she gets in the "my time in the spotlight" mode. But she has been successfully married for two years so she must be doing something right. lol.
     
  5. LUCHopefulTeach

    LUCHopefulTeach Habitué

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    I think it's weird for them to have been married for two years and then have this wedding. I know couples who have gotten married and then had a ceremony for friends and family but all are less than 6 months apart.
     
  6. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    We never did a big wedding. We plan to maybe one day have a party, but it keeps getting pushed back. At this point it will be on our 10th wedding anniversary. But it will be a party, not a wedding.

    I've been to several weddings that did not have sit-down dinners. Most around here do not, actually. I loved what my sister did. A buffet, one type of beer and a signature mixed drink and champagne for free, but everything else was cash bar. The food was a mix of Cajun and Indian to represent their respective cultures. It was so much fun! Also, they walked in and went straight to the dance floor so that it would be open the whole night and people could eat whenever they felt like it.

    I went to one wedding that was a disaster. The dance floor never opened up by the time they did all the traditional stuff. It was the most boring wedding I had ever been to, and I felt like it was a presentation rather than a celebration. Plus, no alcohol.
     
  7. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Well, everyone is different, so it's hard for me to say. I think I would have been shocked to find out they'd been married for 2 years already. I also am not into the Vegas theme, but we all do what interests us. If I were to be married again, I think I would be married in a beautiful garden. But, like I said, we're all different.
     
  8. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    This post made me hungry!
     
  9. TeacherApr

    TeacherApr Groupie

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    I've NEVER understood the positive side to hiding a wedding from everyone including family. I think it's tacky and rude.
     
  10. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    We didn't tell anyone before we got married, but afterward we called all of our family and close friends. As for acquaintances, we let Facebook do the talking. Some of them then called us to confirm that it wasn't a joke. We didn't want to make a big deal about our wedding, and chose to have it be just the two of us. The only person who knew ahead of time was my mom because I called her and asked for my birth certificate. She somehow immediately knew that I needed it to get married, but I didn't tell her when the wedding was because if one person knows then everyone knows (especially if that person is my mom) and then it's not a private ceremony anymore.
     
  11. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    My BF and I are really private. He especially isn't really big on being verbally affectionate or talking about his feelings. I think the reception part would be fun, but I would find the ceremony part - with everyone standing around watching us tell each other how we feel about each other - would be really really awkward and out of character for us. I would prefer for us to have a private ceremony. And I also think it would be special for us to be the only people to know about it at first. But I wouldn't wait 2 years to tell. And I would probably have to tell my mom. She told me today on facebook that they didn't intend to wait that long to tell, but they wanted to reveal it at the wedding and that's just how the planning went.
     
  12. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    As far as food is concerned, I've never been to a wedding with a formal dinner (or alcohol of any kind, even for the bride or groom's toast). As I've said before, Doritos and little weenies are the norm. :)

    I like the idea of either eloping or just going away as a couple (we went away as a couple but told family and friends a few days beforehand), but I don't like 1) coming back and having a reception, as I find that tacky, and 2) later having a wedding pretending you're not married. Taking away the reception and second wedding, I don't have an issue with a couple getting married secretly and waiting however long before sharing. Their life.
     
  13. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I'm sorry; I misunderstood.
     
  14. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    My step-mom was really angry that I wanted my wedding on a date that happened to be 5 days after her 25th with my dad. She was pretty sure it was just another one of my passive aggressive moves to ruin her life (can you say, projection?)...

    Silver, sounds like you really had a good time at the wedding. Your friend sounds very dramatic!

    Regarding talking about your feelings, my husband and I are opposites. For our wedding, I wrote a poem for him which his sister read and we wrote our own vows. His were done pretty hastily, while I had mine written and revised well ahead of time. I know how he feels, although he doesn't organize his thoughts very well ... <3
     
  15. JustMe

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    Oh, as far as crazy weddings, my former best friend's wedding was quite dramatic. I was at her parent's home the night before as was the groom getting the finger foods ready. That resulted in quite the fight between the two because he didn't feel skilled enough to cut the veggies. She screamed, and I mean screamed, that he didn't even want to get married, he was selfish, he didn't love her, she'd done all the work...and that went on for some time. At one point the wedding was called off. But, the morning came and I suppose they decided they'd marry after all. Yet, at the start of the wedding the music was playing, the people were turned...but no bride. She was stalling in the little nursery room off the church's vestibule. She didn't want to go out, she didn't want to get married...she was miserable. Crying her eyes out. It was bad. She eventually came out and married. They're now divorced.
     
  16. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    silver~the only crazy part to this wedding, IMO, is the fact that they've been married for 2 years before doing this.

    JustMe~I guess it would have been better just to stick with calling it off.

    I don't have any crazy wedding stories so I look forward to hearing others!
     
  17. Ms. I

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    Woah, already married for 2 yrs & not even the parents knew?! They must live far away from everyone where they could actually get away w/ that. I could never pull it off.

    What the heck were they doing from 7:15p to 9p? Walking around greeting & talking?

    Re: crazy wedding themes, I'd want my special day to be more traditional. Lately, I've been thinking of getting married in Hawaii at some beautiful spot w/ a dynamite view & staying there for the honeymoon, but who knows. I don't think I'd want a full sit-down meal for my wedding.
     
  18. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    I have decided that weddings have gotten kinda crazy with the money spent and the spectacles they create but "different strokes for different folks." Who am I to judge? Unless, of course, I have to sit through it and it is boring or irritating or disrespectful or uncomfortable to the guests.
     
  19. Lindager

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    I went to a big (260 people) formal, fancy expensive wedding recently. The food was unbelievable the music was fantastic and everyone had a ball. Not a boring minute. This wedding probably cost more then my house ( The brides gown and matching shoes and vail were Vera Wang). But the family could afford it, this was the only daughter and they made it known they did not need or want big expensive presents. It was really a whole weekend event with 2 nights at a hotel everyone meeting up in the hotel lounge Friday night, wedding saturday and brunch sunday. The whole weekend was so much fun. I am not related to bride or groom, but I did have fun saying the groom had been at my wedding 27 years earlier. His mother was 7 months pregnant with him.
     
  20. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Sometimes, a couple has good reasons for staying hush-hush about their marriage. We were married for two years before telling everyone and the only people that knew was his sister and her husband (they were our witnesses) and my parents because we were living with them at the time.
     
  21. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    They were basically mingling, drinking, eating, there was a photo booth and music and table games. I thought it was neat how they broke tradition and sort of just had the wedding in the middle of the evening, but I did think they should have done it a little earlier.

    She actually lives very close to her family and she is really close to her dad, so I was really surprised that they didn't know. But her dad is such a free spirit and so easy going and loving - he told me later he thought it was beautiful that they did something spontaneous for the two of them and that it was sweet that they had this secret between the two of them to share.

    She posted pics on facebook this morning of the first wedding. There are really sweet pics of the two of them in their hotel getting ready - him shaving and her doing her hair. She posted that they both wanted a big wedding with all their friends and family, but knowing how those can get out of hand, first they wanted something that was just them without all the fuss of flowers, dresses, who are the bridesmaids, etc. She said she considers both days her REAL wedding days - and I think that's part of why they didn't tell anyone until after the ceremony - she didn't want the one part to be a vow renewal or anything like that - they were both real to her. I dunno - I actually found it to be very sweet and romantic and about THEM and no one else.
     
  22. Chrissteeena

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    I don't have any crazy wedding stories. Shockingly, as crazy as my family is, the weddings have all been somewhat normal. My Uncle R. had his wedding at his house; they were married in the backyard and had the ceremony there as well with just immediate family. My Uncle T. had a pretty big wedding. I guess this is the one that got a bit crazy. It was family, friends and friends of family (meaning my Grandma inviting her friends and telling my Uncle and soon to be wife that they are paying for her friends to be there). Though the wedding day itself was pretty good (minus the rain). Uncle R. is now divorced and Uncle T is going to be getting a divorce (long, long story).

    BF and I have thought about three options for when we get married. One is a carnival cruise- they do the weddings before leaving port and you can have 20-25ppl., we would invite only immediate family and then go on a cruise afterwards. The second is to have a very small wedding with only immediate family and a reception at a restaurant or even at our house/apt afterwards. The money that we would have spent on a large wedding will go towards us and our honeymoon. The third, is to have a traditional large wedding with all family and friends and big reception hall.
     
  23. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Chris~if I could do my wedding day over again, I would have gotten married on the beach (with just immediate family) and then gone on a cruise for a honeymoon. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed our wedding very much, but it's been almost 9 years since we got married, and we're just now going on our honeymoon in July.
     
  24. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    We had the standard Long Island wedding.

    My sisters were my bridesmaids. We got married in church then had a reception with 203 people. We had a cocktail hour, a full dinner, a 7 piece band, and an open bar. We paid for it ourselves.

    And, 6 weeks shy of 22 years later, I wouldn't change a thing.
     
  25. TeacherApr

    TeacherApr Groupie

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    Exactly my point. Why? No one ever clearly states why when I discuss this with people who have done the "secret" wedding. Aren't weddings supposed to be shared with everyone that wants to celebrate this new positive chapter in your life? sorry, getting off topic.
     
  26. JustMe

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    TeacherApr, sometimes many people who you imagine would want to celebrate the marriage would not. Kind of makes the whole wonderful wedding lose some if its appeal.

    Some people get married for legal or financial reasons but do not wish to live together and live the married life, so they secretly marry and then have a wedding like the one in the original post when they are ready to do so.

    I'm sure there are many reasons...
     
  27. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Why is it such a big deal to know why? There are many different reasons. My hubby and I are still together, almost 6 years later. :) That's all that matters, to me.
     
  28. LUCHopefulTeach

    LUCHopefulTeach Habitué

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    Some people keep it a secret or more private because they don't feel the need to tell others or share their day with others. It really can be that simple. I know some people, myself included, really don't care to hear the opinions, feedback, negativity, etc of other people.
     
  29. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    ...And some people just like the idea of having something special and private to share between themselves and no one else.

    I love my hoosband. He and I are a team, looking out for one another. We've been through a lot together, and he's my best friend. If there are things I want to share with just him and no one else, I would feel entirely justified in that.

    I was pregnant last year for like a second (okay, maybe a little longer than that). Between the time we got the news and the miscarriage, we didn't tell anyone. And I mean no one. It wasn't that we were trying to be shady, it was that we wanted to enjoy our special thing, just the two of us.

    When it comes to a marriage, my hoosband and I were excited to share that with our friends and family. I completely understand why some other couples might want to keep it to themselves, though.
     
  30. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    :hugs: Ceaser
     
  31. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    We did a "secret" wedding for a few reasons.

    1. My husband doesn't like to be the center of attention.
    2. Short notice. We found out in July that we'd be at the same school the next year, and wanted to marry since we already owned a house together and people will talk, but we only had a month to plan.
    3. Money. I didn't have a spare few thousand dollars to spend on a dress and wedding, and my family had all just been in town for my grandmother's funeral.
    4. Speaking of that, she was our inspiration for getting married. I had never known that she eloped with my grandfather. I knew she would approve, and that is a big deal in my family.
    5. Location. We would not have married in a church anyway, which would have caused a stir with some parts of each of our family.

    We had a totally secular wedding at the JOP, who did a wonderful job. There were some readings about love and commitment and joy. It was literally the two of us and the JOP, which made it very intimate. We did it at 9:00 on a Monday morning, and had the rest of the day to, um, celebrate, and then go work in our classrooms. By popular demand, we actually went that day to register for wedding presents, which we would not have done had people not basically made us.

    That's why we did our "secret" wedding.
     
  32. Jimhassel

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    I think this wedding was so amazing. Two years is such a long time to hide a marriage. Most of the time couple use to take 3 to 4 month period to hide this type of things but in his case it's really awesome.
     
  33. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    I think that's AWESOME!

    My boyfriend and I plan on eloping and are keeping it a secret from our families until the day of. We're doing that because otherwise everyone will make a big fuss of trying to get to the elopement. And especially since his parents don't have visas to the USA.. it would just be a big mess. We want something just for the paperwork, and then we'll apply for a visa for him to come back to the USA with me. Once we get back to the USA, we'll do a whole ceremony. We'll probably do one in CR too, for his family.

    This is really common with international couples. Applying for a visa is enough stress and money as it is, don't want to add the stress of planning a wedding, setting a date (where your partner may or MAY NOT be in the USA by)... too much. I've told my sister we plan on eloping and she's the only one who knows. She also told me she doesn't like when couples get "fake married", she says it's like lying. But there's no way in the world I'm going to plan a wedding in the USA from Costa Rica. You must be out of your **** mind!

    Anyways, that was a long personal story to basically say- I don't think there's any problem with it. I love it and it's their wedding they should (and did) do it how they want!:)
     
  34. Learner4Life

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    I personally LOVED my wedding and still, 2 years later, people are still telling me it was the best wedding they had ever been to.

    However, if I ever had to do it again (God forbid), I would go on vacation and elope... I love to travel and we could have gone so many places on the money we spent on our wedding.
     
  35. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Anyone remember that show Mad About You, with Helen Hunt and Paul Reiser? My favorite episode is the flashback to their wedding, when the two of them are all stressed out and fighting about the big wedding. The night before the Big Day, then spend the night apart, but can't sleep so in the middle of the night they end up meeting each other in the hallway. He takes her to an electrician friend who he knows can marry people, and they get married right there on a street in NY in their pajamas. The next day, they have the big ceremony "for everyone else".

    That makes me cry every time I see a rerun of it! So sweet.

    (Sadly, they later find out after their child is born that the guy really couldn't marry people, and they never signed the documents on the Big Day, so they weren't actually married, but that's another story!)

    We went to Vegas. Some of our family went with us, but honestly, if I could do it again, I think I might like it to just be the two of us. At the time, I really really REALLY hated being in the spotlight in that way. Maybe slightly better now, but I still hate pictures and people looking at me with that "awwww" look. <shudder>
     
  36. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Reminds me of the episode on The Office when Jim and Pam got married. They did something similar.
     
  37. Learner4Life

    Learner4Life Cohort

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    Jun 14, 2012

    or the episode of "How I Met Your Mother" when they get married outside the church before their ceremony...
     

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