Cover Letter?

Discussion in 'Job Hunting & Interviews' started by usfmeghi, Jul 30, 2006.

  1. usfmeghi

    usfmeghi Companion

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    Jul 30, 2006

    Can someone look at this? I know my third paragraph need tos be fixed up due to "I" overuse

    Thanks!

    Dear Ms._________:

    I am very interested in the position of an ELD Teacher with ________________ advertised on Ed-Join.

    I have been recommended for my Single Subject Credential in English with a CLAD certificate by _____________ My application has been forwarded to the California Commission of Teacher Credentialing for processing. Currently, I am completing my Masters Field Project, studying the importance of integrating disciplines in SDAIE Social Studies and Language Arts. Upon completion, I will be granted a Masters in Teaching English as a Second Language from _____________

    I believe that all students have the ability to acquire good English and critical thinking skills. I pride myself in using a variety of activities as well as involving parents and the community to help students succeed. I have successfully completed 18 weeks of early field experience immediately followed by 18 weeks of student teaching at ________________.

    My student teaching encompassed two periods of SDAIE: 7th grade ELD Language Arts and 7th grade ELD Reading. I used the text, “High Point” as a guide to develop my own activities to integrate the two classes. In addition, I worked collaboratively with my Master Teacher, who taught them Social Studies, to integrate those two subjects as well.

    Enclosed is a copy of my resume, letters, of recommendation, copies of transcripts, verification of my credential application, and the filled-out application form for your reference. I have also requested a letter of recommendation from my University Supervisor and will forward that along upon receipt.

    I will be available to join the teaching position by the end of August this year. I look forward to hearing from you to pursue this excellent career opportunity. Please write or call me if you have any questions and to schedule an interview at your convenience.

    Best regards,
     
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  3. Erin Elizabeth

    Erin Elizabeth Groupie

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    Jul 30, 2006

    Maybe instead of saying "I used..." you could say "Using the text XXX has allowed me to..."
     
  4. mrsammieb

    mrsammieb Devotee

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    Jul 30, 2006

    Also, instead of saying you are interested simply say that you are applying. So it is clear what you want.

    Good job!
     
  5. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Jul 30, 2006

    I think it has to many paragraphs. Try to keep it to three paragraphs of no more than four to five sentences. Also, when reading I got stuck on the word Good in the third paragraph and the word them which should say students in the fourth paragraph.
    The sentence I will be available to join the teaching position doesn't make sense. Maybe try teaching staff.

     
  6. awaxler

    awaxler Comrade

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    Jul 30, 2006

  7. JustWondering

    JustWondering Companion

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    Jul 30, 2006

    Instead of going into so much detail and save some information for an interview you could simply state that you have been recommended for your certificate by "x" and that you are internship eligible. It sounded like you are an alternative certificate candidate?

    Some of the other paragraphs I think should be saved for when you go to an interview. From what I read and was guided to do for mine is that the cover letter is to briefly show what qualifications you have that meet their wants. The specific details are to be saved for when you interview. I am not an expert so anyone out there who is please correct me if I am wrong about anything! Good Luck!
     
  8. usfmeghi

    usfmeghi Companion

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    Jul 30, 2006

    No.. Actually, I finished my teacher prep program and have been recommended for a credential. I'm waiting on the comission to complete processing it., but I'll take out less detail

    and see what I can edit,,,
     
  9. goopp

    goopp Devotee

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    Jul 30, 2006

    My take on cover letters in general. This is JMO. I have been in advertising for the last 20 years, and I've written a ton of radio and tv commercials in that time. Believe me, creativity is NOT my specialty, but I did learn the basics of making people hear and believe something in :30 or :60 seconds.

    First, be personable. Try to make it more like a friendly letter than a business proposition. Remember, this is probably the first contact you've had with this person and it's the first impression they have of you and your personality. If it sounds stilted and wordy their impression of you will be different than if you sound personable and friendly. You want them to get info about you, but they have to want to talk to you to call for that elusive interview. In other words, write like you talk.

    Finally, it's important to reiterate the most important points at least 3 times in your letter. The most important points of any cover letter should be "I want to teach" and "_______ School". Everyone loves to hear their name mentioned, so make sure you address your letter to the correct person, and you mention the name of their school several times in each letter. Make sure you have some variation of "I want to teach" in each of your paragraphs. (EX. I want to be a part of the excellent staff you have put together. I am interested in the third grade position you have available. I'm looking forward to meeting you soon to discuss my qualifications for the third grade position at ________ School.)

    As I said, this is just my opinion, but it's how I write cover letters and how I believe I stand out from the rest of the teachers sending out letters.
     

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