Cover Letter Critique Please

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by Miss Snix, Jul 14, 2010.

  1. Miss Snix

    Miss Snix Companion

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    Jul 14, 2010

    Would I be able to get some comments/feedback on my cover letter please?

    Thanks in advance :)



    To whom it may concern,

    I would like to apply for any positions you may have available at your school. I have graduated with a Bachelor of Education (Early Childhood) in November 2006 and a Masters of Education (Special Education) in 2010 at the University of ****. I have also had various experiences working in a range of schools and education settings. I believe that my academic preparation and my varied work experiences in education would allow me to make a significant contribution to your school as a member of the staff.

    I enjoy teaching because I find it rewarding in helping children learn, develop and succeed at their full potential. I believe students learn best when they are able to experience meaningful, interesting learning that applies to each of their lives. I believe this can be accomplished through the use of hands-on, cooperative learning, with an integrated curriculum.

    I would like to be considered as a candidate for any positions you have available. Please refer to my enclosed Curriculum Vitae. Thank you for your consideration.


    Yours sincerely,

    My name.
     
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  3. supermissf

    supermissf Rookie

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    Jul 14, 2010

    Do you have any accomplishments that you can bring up? You have very few details; this letter is very vague. "I have various experiences working in a range of schools..." Well, what experiences? You need to make this more personal; it sounds like any one of us could turn in that exact letter except with different universities as graduated from. This letter needs a lot more 'oomph' to it or it will likely be overlooked.

    Also, can you restate the opening line? "I am looking to apply for anything position" sounds desperate. Maybe "I am submitting this letter along with my resume, in application for a teaching position at the elementary level."
     
  4. SashaBear

    SashaBear Companion

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    Jul 14, 2010

    This is a cold call letter. Letters that are personally written for each school will get more of a response. Why do you want a job with THIS school? For example, I applied to my high school and talked about how much the school and given me and how I wanted to give back and how I felt as I walked the halls of the school recently. If you know nothing about the school, learn something about it, like they have an excellent technology program, and say how you want to be a part of it. Google the school for articles about them.
     
  5. Kolin21

    Kolin21 Rookie

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    Jul 14, 2010

    One way of letting employers feel that your sincere with your job application is through personally addressing your job hunting tools(cover letters, resumes, etc) to the their company. Your cover letter serves as a summary of your resume, so don't write everything there, just a few couple of lines that would catch the employers interest. Refrain from including this - “I would like to apply for any positions you may have available at your school”, sounding too desperate wouldn’t help you either. Let them know you're worth the position.

    You can check this site for cover letter examples: Cover Letter Samples

    Hope that helps,
    Kolin21
     
  6. SwOcean Gal

    SwOcean Gal Devotee

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    Jul 14, 2010

    I do not see anything wrong with stating you are applying for any GRADE RANGE position available within the whatever district.
     
  7. Miss Snix

    Miss Snix Companion

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    Jul 14, 2010

    Thank you all so much for the comments :)
    I actually worked on this with my university guidance counselor but it is great getting some good real feedback.
     

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