Cover Letter Critique - Please help!

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by TeachLI123, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. TeachLI123

    TeachLI123 Companion

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    Feb 23, 2012

    Hi, I was hoping you could help me with my cover letter. I've gotten a lot of interviews but so far no teaching position. I am however working as a teacher assistant. I was recently told that my cover letter does not stand out but since I've gotten the interviews based on this letter I don't know if I should change it. Was hoping you could give your insight. My dream is to land an elementary regular education classroom teaching position.

    Dear (insert principal or superintendents name),

    I would like to make you aware of my strong desire to become a TEACHER within (insert school name) for the 2012-2013 school year. I am a loving and caring young professional with strong organizational and communication skills and a firm commitment to making a difference in the lives of others.

    This past year, working as a teacher assistant at (insert current school district name). I have gained valuable experience in a number of diverse teaching and classroom management techniques. I have also conducted research via the Internet to obtain innovative new lesson ideas and have had the opportunity to take information being taught and apply it to my own smartboard lessons.

    I am a teacher who strongly believes in personal and professional growth related directly to student achievement and self esteem. While working as a special education teacher I have had the opportunity to participate in training sessions based on the Smartboard, Wilson Reading Program, McGraw-Hill Math Program and Response to Intervention (RTI). I believe through professional growth and teaching experience I will provide the children with the best possible education. Teaching is a changing profession and through education and experience, I will change with it.

    I have had the opportunity to work with many students while learning effective classroom management techniques and methods of tailoring instruction programs to individual learning styles. I believe in a cooperative learning environment and a child centered program delivered through a variety of teaching strategies. I am dedicated to bringing creativity, maturity, talent and experience into my classroom and making it one where children grow, learn, and prosper. I truly love the challenge of being a role model for these impressionable children and helping guide them as they learn and grow. I would love to have the opportunity to meet with you about any positions that may be available. I can be reached at (insert my phone number) or through email at (insert my email address). Thank you for your consideration.

    Sincerely,
    (insert my name)
     
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  3. LMichele

    LMichele Cohort

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    Feb 23, 2012

    Where are your examples? Nearly every sentence starts with "I".
     
  4. ciounoi

    ciounoi Cohort

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    Feb 23, 2012

    It sounds very generic to me... a lot of nice-sounding words, but not much substance. I would bet that you probably have passion for teaching and that you are a good candidate, but it's not coming across in this cover letter. I would focus on identifying specific examples from your experiences and tie them to what you can bring to the district you are applying for. Some people on here will tell you to stick with one unique example - my personal preference is to do a few examples and REALLY beat the reader over the head with it. For instance, you mention that you have had training on several curricula. I would say something like this if this were my cover.

    "As a special education teacher, I was trained in the Wilson Reading Program through professional development experiences and implemented the Wilson curriculum in my classroom. After I began Wilson, my students improved their reading grades by 15%. As an employee for your district, I could use my experience with Wilson to help your students find success in the classroom."

    Also, in your cover, less is often more. Be short and sweet and to the point.
     
  5. jessiiteach

    jessiiteach Companion

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    Feb 23, 2012

    it's boring. sorry.
     
  6. Hamster91

    Hamster91 Rookie

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    Feb 24, 2012

    Great start, I would recommend shortening the last paragraph so the reader can focus on your passion for teaching.

    I can tell you really mean what you say "I truly love the challenge of being a role model for these impressionable children and helping guide them as they learn and grow." <<Great

    Re-read it and take out what you think has already been expressed.

    I'm working on cover letters too. It's hard to express your skills and passion into one short cover letter.
     
  7. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Feb 24, 2012

    There's very little YOU in your letter. Lots of what you've done, but that's all in your resume.

    You have a huge advantage over lots of other applicants-- actual classroom experience. I think you should press that advantage.

    Where's the part that talks about the effect you've had on your kids?? Those kids are notably absent from your letter. You speak a lot about what you want, what you believe, what you love. To be brutally honest, they don't care. They want to know that you'll be effective in the classroom; that kids will be changed for the better as a result of having been in your class. You have the classroom experience, so use it.

    Tell us about a success or two you've had. Give the kid an alias if you want, but illustrate the effect you've had on one or two specific kids.
     

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