Conflicts

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by FarFromHome, Aug 28, 2007.

  1. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    Aug 28, 2007

    Yesterday was the first day of school and I had a parent come up and tell me about a problem between her child and another student. Apparently this has been going on for a couple of years and she was surprised they were in the same class. A girl in my class has been throwing things at the boy, saying rude comments, and I guess she actually even wrote him death threats last year. The parent told me that most of it happened during lunch and recess-so I don't think changing classes would help anything. But today the little boy came up to me and told me that she blew in his ear really hard and said, "That's what I think of you!"

    How would you handle this situation? I did sit down with the girl and tell her that in our class we were to treat everyone with respect, etc. But this is only the 2nd day of school. I don't want this boy to have to go through this all year long. I don't think changing classes would help, and might actually make it worse because the girl will feel like she has succeeded.

    Any suggestions?
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Aug 29, 2007

    Don't put them at the same table, don't put them in coop groups together- at least for the time being. Keep them apart as much as possible in class and since it sounds like most of the misbehaviors occur outside of class you are probably in good shape here.

    Maybe give assigned seats for lunch- away from each other and give the heads up to the para or lunch aide...get the uidance counselor involved if the 'bullying' continues.
     
  4. kiraj

    kiraj Companion

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    Aug 29, 2007

    Document everything! What she did, what the boys reaction to it was, and what you did. That way if she gets referred to a behavior team or something major happens you will have a running record. I'm surprised the principal didn't warn you. Thats some pretty serious stuff.
     
  5. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    Aug 29, 2007

    I'm wondering if anything's ever been done about it. I already have them on opposite sides of the room-purely by chance. Nothing happened today, at least not that I heard of-so maybe talking to her helped a little bit.
     
  6. 3Sons

    3Sons Enthusiast

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    Aug 31, 2007

    So, she has a crush on him? That's sweet :)

    Quite possibly even true. Of course, if you wanted to stop that sort of behavior, you could just let the class know that when boys and girls bother each other, that's what it means. If she continues, she then opens herself up to teasing by other students. This is third grade, right?
     
  7. cmw

    cmw Groupie

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    Aug 31, 2007

    I would have them in separate classes. That's the great thing about having several of the same grade in a building. If this girl is sneaky about it you are going to have to always have your eyes on them. Otherwise this boy is going to be going home and complaining and you'll have angry parents (yuck!!!) We do assigned seats in our lunchroom so we can monitor behavior and it's great. GOOD LUCK!:)
     
  8. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    Aug 31, 2007

    I don't think being in different classes would help anything. Luckily I haven't heard about anything else happening so far. It's my first year and there's so much to deal with-I'm hoping this doesn't turn into a huge deal!
     
  9. Steph-ernie

    Steph-ernie Groupie

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    Aug 31, 2007

    I also had a parent inform me at back to school night about a lot of problems last year between their son and another boy in my class. It was sort of a weird situation to be in, especially because they said they talked to the last year's teacher and nothing was ever done. I assured them that I would handle it if I saw it, and that if they were hearing things, they should be sure and let me know. It was hard then when the other boy came in later that evening, and I had heard all these negative things about him. So far, nothing has happened that I've been aware of, so hopefully having the summer apart made that fizzle out. Sorry I don't have any great advice for you in your situation though, except that I totally understand what it is like.
     
  10. terptoteacher

    terptoteacher Connoisseur

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    Aug 31, 2007

    One girl on my class list was transfered to another class because she was being bullied by a girl in my room. The two live next door and their houses share a driveway. The parents felt that if theiry daughter had to deal with her at home, then she should get a break at school. At first the principal didn't want to move them, but I told him that if it was MY daughter, I would try to get her out of that situation. Every child has the right to be and feel safe in school.
     
  11. cmw

    cmw Groupie

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    Sep 1, 2007



    Definitely true! Even if it doesn't help at least the school would have hown some effort to fix it!:2up:
     
  12. dreaming_luke

    dreaming_luke Rookie

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    Sep 1, 2007

    Being in different classes would definitely help. The boy now has this girl around him all day at school. At least in different classes he would feel a lot more safe and comfortable in his class without her around to learn. He's probably going to be feeling anxious and uncomfortable having her in his class even if on the other side of the room. I would definitely ask for a change of classes either for the boy or the girl. The other way in which this change will help is that you will not have to deal with this in your class for the whole year. Sounds like there would be a lot of headaches, and having to deal with parents. This parent already seems upset that nothing was done, so she is going to expect now that she told you this that you will make this stop. I'd talk to the last year's teacher and principal and let them know that you had this conversation with the parent as well.
     
  13. Pattie

    Pattie Companion

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    Sep 1, 2007

    Isn't this bullying plain and simple? We've seen this increase at our school and maybe it is just the sign of the times. I'd talk about it at a community circle or rugtime or just have a class discussion. Ask kids how it makes them feel inside when somebody has said mean things to them. Use example you remember from your own time in elementary. Make them vocalize how it makes you feel INSIDE. This girl may not have an empathetic bone in her body you know? She may need it spelled out how some people feel when they are criticized and hurt. Th en be real tough and clear about it. Say this happened to me when I was a kid and this WON'T HAPPEN IN MY CLASSROOM. Make a huge consequence for it. Kids found bullying other kids will miss 2 weeks of computer class. Or something equally horrifying for 3rd graders. And call her parents. Most parents would want to know if their kid was verbally torturing another kid. We all know how it feels. I'd tell principal too what you are doing. I wouldn't switch classes. You have the power to nip this thing in the bud. Too many teachers are passive, and that may be why bullying is on the rise. Schools don't handle it when they should. We have a program we are starting this year schoolwide called _____Embassadors, I can't remember first word. It is an expensive antibully campaign. I'm glad our administrator is on top of this in a proactive, positive way.
     

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