Colleague exclusion

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Tek, Oct 11, 2013.

  1. Tek

    Tek Comrade

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    Oct 11, 2013

    Not sure if this is the right place to post this but I have to share this anonymously and get feedback/advice/words of wisdom.

    Basically I am a roamer, extremely low drama and I think for the most part, my coworkers like me. However, one of my coworkers has gotten under the skin of a few of my colleagues, and I don't think it's because she's "snotty" or anything but that she is simply a teaching MACHINE, and hasn't really clicked with the other teachers on staff. I know her a bit and think of her as a great person, but not everyone sees her that way.

    Today I was in my partner's room where a few other colleagues stepped in, and they bashed her a bit (obviously behind her back). I was mostly silent during this time. I feel bad for her.

    Don't know what to do, or what I should do. Is it really just none of my business and I should just mosey on along? I am a little sad that she has been ostracized like how she has been.

    She's young, like a few other teachers on staff, but they just don't click and they don't seem to like her style. It is sad to witness from a 3rd party perspective.

    I did try to step in at the end and say something similar to the effect of "Let's not go down this road" and then one told me "Oh Tek. You have much left to learn. We should call you grasshopper." She said it jokingly.

    Any thoughts? I guess there's nothing I can do but pray that there is more unity between this girl and the rest of the staff.
     
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Oct 11, 2013

    It bothers me when adults act like bratty adolescents.

    I'm not sure you can change the actions of the others, but you can certainly do what's possible to include her. Ask about her day, share a coffee break, do whatever is within YOUR power to make her feel a part of things.

    If doing so costs you the approval of the "cook kids" then I guess you have to decide how much their approval means to you. I'm at the point in my life where the approval of people I don't respect doesn't mean all that much.
     
  4. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Oct 11, 2013

    Unfortunately, this kind of behavior happens in many workplaces. You did the right thing by stepping up for your colleague.

    Usually I choose to avoid these petty people and have as little contact as possible.
     
  5. Melanie Therese

    Melanie Therese Rookie

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    Oct 11, 2013

    Just keep doing what feels right to you. Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do to change the status quo between 'her' and 'them'.

    It's a crummy situation and I'm sorry you're finding yourself in it.
     
  6. pwhatley

    pwhatley Maven

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    Oct 11, 2013

    O.M.G. I'm in a similar situation - it's like being back in Middle School! For the most part, I keep my head down and teach. I'm a "teacher leader," but all I've been called on so far is to be a "buddy teacher" to a woman who is new to our school. Turns out, we are good resources for each other. Anyway... There are a couple of people (1 teacher & 1 para) who are... shall we say "carrying tales," and most of them are fabricated! The few that have a minutia of truth are so twisted out of shape to be practically false! Ugh. I can't believe grown women would act like this!
     
  7. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Oct 11, 2013

    I try to avoid people who are gossipy in a mean way. Maybe that's what you need to do.

    I know it can be hard to see others being left out of the group. The fact, though, is that adults are allowed to pick and choose their own friends. They are allowed to dislike someone. It's in poor taste and unprofessional if they are gossiping about this person, don't get me wrong, but they can decide not to like her.
     
  8. joeschmoe

    joeschmoe Companion

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    Oct 11, 2013

    Go with the flow and just mind your business. Teachers will gossip. It's unavoidable. But some teachers can gossip too much and can be a negative nancy. Those teachers, you avoid aside from work-related business. I'm the same as you. I don't like drama and find no reason to gather to bad mouth someone. I try to get along with everyone.
     
  9. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Oct 12, 2013

    The killer is that I bet those colleagues talk a good game to their students when they exhibit the exact same exclusionary behavior.
     
  10. dave1mo

    dave1mo Comrade

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    Oct 14, 2013

    And there it is, really.

    The teacher in question seems highly competent and probably keeps her head down like you do. However, people who are at best average at their jobs (and usually sub-par) have a nasty habit of trying to bring their more dedicated and competent peers down out of jealousy.

    If they'd spend more time perfecting their craft and less gossiping, they wouldn't feel so insecure and inferior.
     
  11. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    Oct 14, 2013

    I would try to include her as much as possible when you are doing something, but other than that lay low and firmly stay out of gossipy conversations.
     
  12. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    Oct 14, 2013

    This is one of the nice things for me as a man... Nobody gossips about me, nobody expects me to gossip.

    Just do your job and stay away from gossipy convos. If you really need to, stick up for your colleague... "I've heard Ma. teacher is doing some really great things with this new unit..." but otherwise, no need to get involved.
     
  13. CindyBlue

    CindyBlue Cohort

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    Oct 14, 2013

    "This is one of the nice things for me as a man... Nobody gossips about me, nobody expects me to gossip."
    At my school, two of the worst gossips are men...they have done so much to make a few good teachers at my school look bad and feel miserable that it's just unbelievable. I agree...it's people who aren't as good, who are jealous, that make the most trouble.
     

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