Co-worker who won't stop talking...

Discussion in 'General Education' started by YoungTeacherGuy, Sep 16, 2012.

  1. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Sep 16, 2012

    We have an amazing 2nd grade team at my site. We work so incredibly well together and we're very student-centered. We've truly embraced the PLC model and we operate like a well-oiled machine.

    Here's the problem: One of my co-workers talks WAY TOO MUCH! During lunch, she'll visit each of our classrooms and talk to us about how her day has been and brings teaching materials to share with us (which we all appreciate, of course). Everyone at my school works through their lunch (yes--we take a few minutes to quickly gobble down our lunch, but we also make copies, work on lesson plans, grade papers, help students, etc). There have been times that I'm trying to work on something to prepare for my afternoon math lesson, but I get sidetracked talking to her, so I don't finish what I needed to work on.

    There's no way I can avoid talking to her. Once, I locked my door, but she knocked because she saw me sitting at my desk (our classrooms have huge windows).

    Again--she's truly an extremely nice lady (and great educator, too)! But I feel like I'm spending a huge chunk of my lunch hour having to entertain her in my classroom, which is frustrating.

    What do I do??? :help:
     
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  3. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    I'm sorry that I can't chat right now. I have just a few minutes to finish this Math lesson.
     
  4. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Oh gosh, this can be so uncomfortable. I had a very similar situation. I was not rude, but I just didn't contribute much to the conversations and demontrated how busy I was by almost seeming frantic...like, "Oh, yeah...uh-huh...man, the kids will be back in five minutes and still have to get those supplies put out!"

    Good luck!
     
  5. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Sep 17, 2012

    That's exactly it.

    Be upfront about being too busy to chat. Then stop by her room on your way out after school and catch up.

    She simply may not realize that you don't have time at that minute for a chat.
     
  6. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    It's easier said than done...some people are relentless!
     
  7. MissApple

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    Maybe at your next team meeting establish a policy for letting others know if you're open to chat or not. If someone's door is locked, they're too busy and everyone has to respect that. That way no one is singled out.
     
  8. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I have a coworker just like this.
     
  9. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Like others have said--it's easier said than done. Remember--I have to work alongside these people every single day.

    If I walked into someone's class and they told me what you suggested, I'd probably feel bad (that's just me, though).

    I'm trying to tell her in a gentle, professional, and caring way (that is...if I muster up enough courage to say something).
     
  10. chebrutta

    chebrutta Enthusiast

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    Sep 17, 2012

    I have some coworkers like this, as well. Forget hints... they straight-up won't leave even if you ask them to.

    (We have the windows in the classroom, too... nowhere to hide.)
     
  11. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Sep 17, 2012

    I'd bring it up in the next meeting...something like:

    "Wow, I am just swamped with work to get done! How does everyone manage their time to finish these tasks? For me, personally, I really focus over the noon hour-that's my time to crank things out, and I try not to lose focus, so if you need me, try to grab me at <xyz time>. Over my noon hour I'll have my door shut and be working like crazy."
     
  12. FourSquare

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    Sep 17, 2012

    My team had a super frank conversation about how we all loved each other but drove each other nuts. :lol: We basically said: Leave each other alone until after school

    Ever since I started using my "flexi" binder (http://www.thetogetherteacher.com) I tell people "I really want to hear about that...let me put you in my thought catcher and I'll get back to you after school." I think there's a nice way to be direct without being unkind.

    I also used to resort to hiding in my car. Most people don't have the nerve to bother you there. :whistle:
     
  13. CFClassroom

    CFClassroom Connoisseur

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    I would just be polite and honest, "I really enjoy chatting with you, but I need to work through lunch to get ready for the afternoon. Could we touch base at another time?"
     
  14. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Most. :|
     
  15. YoungTeacherGuy

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    This is golden. I'm going to use it! Thanks, kcjo! :hugs:
     
  16. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    I was talking with a co-worker after school today. A parent stopped in, this parent was not very friendly, actually was rude. It was my understanding that the parent is upset that the daughter didn't follow procedures & the teacher is insisting that the child (a 4th grader) follow the procedure. The parent was getting irate. So, my friend packed up her stuff, walked to the door, turned out the lights & proceeded to walk out the door. It got the parent out of the room & she got to go home. . . upset, but she still left. The parent was trying to rehash a previous phone conversation & email.

    Can you do something similiar? Keep working, walk out of the room to go make your copies etc.
     
  17. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Wow I am amazed at how people beat around the bush. There is not one thing rude about telling someone who is apparently bothering you so much, that you do not have time to talk right now.
     
  18. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Did you not read how I mentioned that I like her very much and that I respect her greatly as an educator? I never said she was "bothering me so much." I did, however, say that she talks too much and is interfering with my work production.

    Other posters have provided me with outstanding feedback that closely matches something that'd come out of my mouth. I'm a very respectful and polite person and your way of dealing with the situation is much too matter-of-fact for my personality. :2cents:
     
  19. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I agree. I don't find it at all rude to be honest about what you need. I think that all the hinting and beating around the bush are just going to cause more problems, especially when people don't get what you mean. People who hang out and want to chat it up while you're obviously working are exactly the sort of people who aren't good at taking hints.
     
  20. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    That's what I think about it.
     
  21. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    You said,

    "I never said she was "bothering me so much." I did, however, say that she talks too much and is interfering with my work production.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    So, she's not bothering you? Guess I didn't read it that way. :lol:
     
  22. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Honestly, I can't even be so forward with people I don't very much respect and enjoy as colleagues...much less with someone who I find to be wonderful. It's just not in me. It's dismissing a person, even if it's done in a gentle way, and I know many people would feel embarrassed or hurt. I even hate to cut off students when they are talking too long about something off topic (in an innocent manner), though I have to. I see the look of disappointment in their faces.
     
  23. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    :agreed:I agree with every single word you wrote!!! :hugs:
     
  24. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    The other week I stopped in to ask our department chair a quick question (she's very chatty). Into the conversation she tells me she's got to finish what she's doing. I didn't take any offense. I know how it feels to need to get something done right away, and I am sure your coworker will too. :)
     
  25. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    When I enter a teacher's classroom to talk about anything, I always ask, "Do you have a minute or are you in the middle of something?" It's just good manners.
     
  26. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    :)
     
  27. ecteach

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    Tell her you really need to get some things done, and you can't talk right now.
     
  28. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    I totally understand what you guys are going though! There's a teacher in my school that just won't leave me alone!! She is an older teacher so maybe she's just looking for fresh ideas but she is always trying to see what kinds of things i'm photocopying, comes to my room and looks at all my books and stuff on my desk, goes around my classroom and touches my STUFF!! I don't know what to say to her to make her stop! She asked me if i'm staying late any days this week (so she can stalk me i'm sure) and I said no I have errands to run after school :whistle:
     
  29. princessbloom

    princessbloom Comrade

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    Maybe invite her to "plan" with you during lunch? That will let her know that you're working at this time but she's welcome to join you to plan only.
     
  30. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    :thumb:
     
  31. YoungTeacherGuy

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    I'm glad you can empathize with me! It seems as though there are a couple of people on here who either haven't worked with this type of person or would approach this type of person in a dismissive way.
     
  32. Grammy Teacher

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    I work with people like her. We have mutual respect for another and total understanding as to how busy we are as teachers.
    It is not dismissive to tell someone you only have a few minutes to get your work done and could we chat later? The people I say it to are my mutually respected colleagues.
    You are not comfortable saying that to this person and that is o.k. I'm sure you will find a way to handle things.
     
  33. EMonkey

    EMonkey Connoisseur

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    If I am busy I tend to walk around and work while talking to anyone who visits me, then I get the pleasure of visiting and talking and the opportunity to get my stuff finished.
     
  34. Grammy Teacher

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    I do that, too! I have to or I'd never get anything done. The teachers are really nice about it and we manage to have a nice chat while I work away. Sometimes it works out nice in that I ask their opinions about things I'm working on!
     
  35. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I think you're making a lot of incorrect assumptions. I enjoy my coworkers and I'm respectful and kind. At the same time, I try to be assertive and to be honest about what I need. I'm not a big jerk about out. I'm not like, "Hey, you! I'm tryin' to work here! GTFO!" I think you're reading far too much into the suggestions about being assertive. I also think that you are being sort of passive-aggressive in addressing those suggestions. I get it if you aren't assertive and don't want to start being assertive, but that doesn't mean that the rest of us are jackasses if we're assertive.
     
  36. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    I will just come out and say it. I'm a chatty cathy. It actually hurts my feelings if I start to realize people avoid me all the time because of it. I MUCH MUCH MUCH rather people tell me they don't have the time right now and then show they aren't avoiding me later by stopping by on their own time. I can respect your time but you gotta say it. It may take me a few minutes to wind back down but I will leave and I'll respect you more for saying it.

    If it gets in the way of our friendship because you aren't able to say it and turn to avoidance all the time, who wants that?

    (There is a difference between people don't click with me and people who are just trying not to hurt my feelings and end up frustrated.)

    I really do try to look for cues. Guess what, it was pointed out to me at one point. The friend was distressed but she did me a huge favor that ended up helping me identify other people who might be trying to send those same cues. I'm not always on target with it but I do try.

    Speak up. Gently but directly. Stop by when it is most convenient to you so that she knows that you aren't avoiding her altogether.

    Indirect methods have a way of backfiring.

    By the way, I love all my friends who can handle my constant dialogue. I try to spread it around and I try to wind down quickly when asked. Thank you.
     
  37. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    That's what I was trying to convey, Cut and Caeser. Thank You.
     
  38. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    I understand why you think she might be hurt, but she's an adult, and she needs to learn how to deal with people.

    If you are hurt by something someone says about you, you have a choice to fume about it, and avoid the person (good for you because she's no longer talking to you), or take them at their word and catch up at a time that's best for both of you (again, good for you).

    Just tell her, maybe not next time she comes in, but go to HER and tell her, "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that lunches these days are getting harder for me to hold our chats on because a lot of work has been coming up. Is it okay if we move our chats to after school or maybe chat over coffee at the beginning of the day?"

    I am 99% sure that she will say "Yes", and she will probably find that invitation to be so courteous that she will not even know she's being asked to leave you alone.
     
  39. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    This exactly. I too have a problem with being very chatty, and it's mostly probably because I am an insecure first year teacher.
     
  40. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    I can't blame it on that. ;)
     
  41. TeacherNY

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    :banghead: UGGG she did it again!! I was just about to leave work and she comes barging into my classroom! She again proceded to look through folders, stuff on my computer desk, and just go on and on about I don't even know what. She did ask for some websites and I send them to her while she was standing there. I had no choice. She wrote out her email address and handed it to me. Hopefully she will leave me alone now that she has all of my ideas!
     

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