Close Friends

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by swansong1, Jun 30, 2011.

  1. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Another thread got me thinking and I didn't want to hijack the thread. How many of you have close, trusted friends? If not, do you regret it?
    I consider my husband a close, trusted friend, but I have a couple of girl friends whose friendship I value. There are some things that are just more fun to talk about and do with those friends.
     
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Aside from my husband and my siblings, I would probably name 4 local friends and one a who moved cross country (the one that's getting remarried next month) that I would feel comfortable calling in the middle of the night for a crisis. (Two are on my block, so they've already seen the drill.)

    We don't DO as much together as we might like-- four of the 5 have kids,and things get crazy. But we do the occasional lunch or dinner. I taught one-- the one without kids-- to ride a bike last week. I've cried with each of them when things on one end or the other got too rough.

    They've each added to my life in significant ways.
     
  4. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    My husband, my mother, 2 coworkers, and my college roommate.
     
  5. chebrutta

    chebrutta Enthusiast

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    My BF, brother, my best friend, college roommate, and a co-worker.

    But, like Alice said, these are people who'd pick up the phone at 3AM and just listen. The only sad part is most of them live in other states or countries.
     
  6. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    My husband
    My 2 sisters
    Several close friends
     
  7. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    My husband, of course.

    I'm really close to two or three of my coworkers, and I know that we'd all do whatever the others needed. We go out shopping together sometimes.

    I have a few very good friends from the summer program where I work. We tell each other everything, and have Skype meetings once a month or so.
     
  8. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Sadly, I haven't cultivated a lot of close friendships since I've moved to Ohio, and my Pennsylvania friends have mostly moved on with their lives. It gets pretty lonely sometimes.
     
  9. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    My husband
    My sister and mother
    3 close girlfriends
    my husband's 2 best friends
    These are the people I would call in the middle of the night and know they will be there to help me.
     
  10. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    My husband,
    my aunt,
    2 close friends.

    My two closest friends who I can call and depend on when I need something are guys. I always seemed to get along better with guys.

    I have female friends that I meet once in a while for lunch or shopping but I don't consider them very close.
     
  11. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    I have 1. She lives 18 hours away. I have no friends here at all.
    It sucks a lot.
     
  12. waterfall

    waterfall Maven

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    My two very best friends are actually from high school. We didn't go to the same colleges, I spent most of the summer in a different state, and I now live across the country. However, we've still really kept in touch. I talk to both them almost every day for a long time. I see them a lot when I visit home, and they're both coming out here for a week at the end of the summer. No one I met in college or out here is as close to me as they are. Here, I'd say I have four friends that I'd consider really close. Our whole staff is really social with each other and I like hanging out with them, but there are 3 that I really, really trust with anything from my school, and 1 "outside school" friend.
     
  13. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Besides my husband, I really don't have a seriously close friend.

    I talk to the sister closest to me in age on a pretty regular basis, but we don't do things together like lunch and what not. Even though we still sometimes finish each other's sentence and definitely have some of the same quirks, we're sooo different.

    There was a friend I met through college and we would talk on the phone for hours at a time up until a few years ago. She's the only friend who knows my one "secret"...which isn't some incredibly major deal, but still, I haven't told anyone else. Not even my sisters. Unfortunately, something happened that pushed us apart quite a bit.

    I love the women I work with. Even though they're all at least ten years older than I am, I consider them to be work friends at the very least. I have also talked to them about some serious issues I wouldn't talk to anyone else about. I am so, so lucky when it comes to colleagues.

    I used to consider my husband's two friends to be true friends, but it's a little strange because the dynamics of our relationship has changed over the past ten years. I guess because the four of us spent so much time together before we officially grew up and got careers and marriages...we were like a little unit. Just not the same anymore. I see them more now as my husband's friends. I know they'd be there for me if I was need, of course. But still.

    Do I regret it? I don't think, at least in my case, it's really something to regret. I've always been a touch of a "loner"...and I hate, by the way, that people see someone being alone as also being lonley...that's not always the case. I'm also just not a social person. I'd just rather be home the majority of the time. So, it's just not my personality to have a bunch of close friends. Friends seem to be a lot of work! :p
     
  14. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Most of my close friends are my friends from college. We all stay in touch, but none of them live very close to me anymore. Still, I feel most of them would do what they could to help me if I needed it and I would do the same for them.

    Locally, I have several family members that I know I can count on in the middle of the night. They have stepped up several times and I know they will always be there ANY time I or my mother need them.

    My mom has always been my best friend and I could always tell her things I wouldn't tell anyone else, even my dad.

    I have several friends locally, but none that I "hang out" with. I am sad, at times, that my best friends live so far away, but that is just how life works. I'm very comfortable being by myself most of the time and I DO have friends here I could call if I wanted to go to a movie or get together for lunch.

    I've learned to be content with whatever situation I'm in and I'm very content with the situation I have now.
     
  15. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    my brother and a few male teachers (who I havent taught with in 3 decades) My great female friend passed away two years ago
     
  16. VANewbie

    VANewbie Devotee

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    What she said.:)
     
  17. LUCHopefulTeach

    LUCHopefulTeach Habitué

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    I used to have an extremely close friend but that fell apart when I moved in with my then fiance/now husband. I haven't been able to make real close friends since. Its difficult to have friends when your lives are just too different. I'm young and married so my life is typically more mature than others my age and those with similar lives are typically older.
     
  18. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    I'm with JustMe and VANewbie--by nature, I'm okay spending time alone. That said, I have 3 close friends from college. Unfortunately, we all moved to different states after graduation. I have wonderful colleagues, and get along well with everyone I work with, and could call any of them in an emergency. (That could also be that I'm the youngest one on staff, and don't have any family around, so they all look out for me). There is one older teacher that I can talk to about anything and I consider a great friend, but we wouldn't hang out socially. I am starting to build a closer friendship with another teacher, and I'm real excited about having someone to go shopping, work out, and hang out with.
     
  19. AZMrs.S

    AZMrs.S Cohort

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    I totally understand what you mean. I am the same way... A lot of my friends are at totally different points in their lives, so its hard for me to have a lot of close friends...

    I do have my sister in law, but she lives in another state and one other close girlfriend but she is a good hour away. And, of course, my husband :)
     
  20. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    And I have the opposite issue--all my friends are married/have kids, so they're all doing family things!
     
  21. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    I have a great network of close friends.

    My closest girlfriends are people I've known for most of my life. I have four friends I consider my closest friends. I've been friends with two of them since middle school, and one of them was also my roommate for a year in college. Another one is someone I had known since elementary school, but we became really close her senior year of high school. The other friend is someone I met in college. We had a mutual acquaintance. Two of them live in the same town, one of them lives about 100 miles away, and the other lives in Florida. I still talk to all of them regularly through Facebook, text messages, and by phone. The one I consider my best friend is the one I see most often. We attend the same church and work in the same school district. We live about 3 miles apart. We've been doing more together in recent years since her kids are older (10 & 7) and more independent. Earlier in the week she came over and chased a squirrel off my porch. That was quite a scene.

    I also have a good group of girls from work to hang around with some as well. We have all worked together for quite a few years, and we enjoy going out to eat or going shopping sometimes. We vary in age from early 20's to mid 40's. Some are married. Some are single. Some have children. Some don't have children.

    My DH really doesn't have any friends. He has Aspergers, so he really doesn't socialize with anybody.
     
  22. msmullenjr

    msmullenjr Devotee

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    First and most importantly I have my SO. I am also extremely close to my sister. I have some great friends that I could easily call at 3am. I was actually the one answering the 2am and 4am call with a few friends within the last few years.

    Some of my friends are married, some have kids, and some are single. None of my friends are my age. We talk, we laugh, go out for drinks, we go to Disneyland, we cry, we hold each others hand when we need it. I cannot imagine not having them.
     
  23. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    I have my husband, who knows me so well and is a great listener. I am very close to one sister - we love to go on trips together and I can tell her anything. I am very close to my daughter, but we are in that phase of her becoming independent.

    Unfortunately, I have lost track of a few wonderful friends due to my neglect of them. Also unfortunately, I've set aside a couple of long term, important friendships, because the people sabotaged the friendship. They just became too draining to be around.

    Now that the nest is empty and I am not as busy, I am noticing the lack of friends. It does take a lot of energy to maintain a friendship.
     
  24. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    I have my husband, my daughters, son, etc., and they are all wonderful.

    But I also have three of the closest friends ever (2 females, one male). We are all principals within the same district. There are 14 other principals as well but we have a very tight group among us.

    We are there for each other every step of the way. We divide up work, are there for each other's children, there for anything really. I had always been more of a loner type....but so glad I have these people in my life.

    Close friends can be there just like family.
     
  25. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    I have lots of close friends for lots of different reasons. Some of them have been around for a long time and some are in my life at different times for a season. I value them all. Some are my doing buddies. Some are my talking buddies. Some are my help mates. Some I share specific cultural things with. Some I share family dates with. Some I share the passion of teaching with. I understand that the definition of close friends may be interpreted a little more stringently here but truly I love all my friends for a variety of reasons. Are some closer than others? Sure. But each of these people I connected with for a reason and I value all of the things they have to share with me.
     
  26. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

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    My husband of course
    I have a group of girlfriends about 6 of them who I am close with but 3 of them are the ones I trust and can tell anything too
     
  27. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    Besides family, I have two really close friends. One of them I met because our parents were friends before we were born, but we didn't become close until junior high. The other one I met in kindergarten.

    I have a hard time really connecting with people now, because I know I'll end up moving. I had some good friends in Idaho, but not near as close as my friends back home.
     
  28. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    I have many close friends and they are very important to me. I don't have a spouse and my siblings don't live near me. My friends fill that role in my life.
     
  29. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    I've got quite a lot of friends, but there are only a handful who I know I can count on at any time! Most of my really close friends are teachers, actually.
     
  30. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    I don't have very many really close friends, and nobody who lives close to me. The great thing is that each of the people I consider "really close" are completely different from each other.

    There's K., who's the wild child. She's got more tattoos than I have freckles. She can party harder than anybody I know. Most people would take one look at her and write her off, but she's the most genuine, sincere person you can imagine. When I had the situation that eventually caused me to leave Florida, it was her house where I went that first night. She still lives in S. Florida.

    There's T. I haven't known her very long, but when we did meet, it was a near instant bond. She now lives in CT, but I wouldn't hesitate to call her at 2am in a crisis.

    M. is another good friend. She's also in S. Florida. She's the kind of friend that can go months without speaking, but then pick up right where we left off and have a three hour telephone marathon. For some reason, I'm always doing laundry when I talk to her. Even on the phone from 2000 miles away, M. calls and I just have to start doing laundry. It's weird.

    Then there's PH. There's a long story there and many of you know it. Lets just say that even though he's "the one that got away" we are still close friends. Talking to him always brightens my day.

    I'm also close with two of my sisters. We have our spats, like most siblings, but when it comes down to it, we're all there for each other, no matter what.
     
  31. yarnwoman

    yarnwoman Cohort

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    I was happy to see this thread. I was thinking just the other day about this. I would have to say I only have a few: my mom, and one friend from college.
     
  32. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I consider my longtime boyfriend a trusted friend, but I don't have any close female friends. In fact, I haven't had ANY female friends that were that close in my entire life. I've always just had the type of friends you may go to the mall or lunch w/ every few months, but that's it. No one close to talking on the phone w/ everyday, confiding in & telling everything to. Everyone I've come across already has their own best friend or grp of friends. My boyfriend's the closest person to that & he views me as the same in his eyes.

    Not to pity myself at all, but in a way, I think my social situation is a little sad. I think everyone should have that 1 genuine, true friend. Maybe mine's coming later in life...I hope.

    In my opinion, a person has very, very few TRUE friends, probably a lot less than they really think they do. A true, genuine friendship is a very rare thing. You can't trust many people.
     

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