Chrismas Cards

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Resentful, Dec 1, 2012.

  1. Resentful

    Resentful Rookie

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    Dec 1, 2012

    So, Dh and I got our Christmas cards done this year. We just have to order how many we want. I was wondering how many to get. Last year, I gave to all of my coworkers. From the janitors to the P. There were a few people I didn't know too well or like so much. I didn't really dislike them, we just didn't deal. It wasn't enough to not give to two or three people when everyone else got one. For reasons that are obvious to everyone here, I don't want to give to one of my grade level members. I also don't want to give to those three people from last year. I might not be giving one to another grade level member, because we're not that close. There's a few aides I won't be giving cards to because I don't care for them or their work ethic. There's a few other aides I won't be giving to because I don't really know them. There's going to be about twenty people I'm giving to and about 40 I am. Would that look bad? Like a snub? I don't go around handing them out. I just out them in the mailboxes and a few coworkers I am friends with outside of school, I mail them too. How would you feel if you didn't get one? Note, if we didn't get one it is because we don't get along, I don't know you, or basicall you screwed me out a job and are always bothering me.

    Sorry this is a bit long.
     
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  3. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    Dec 1, 2012

    It's just a Christmas card... I give them to everyone.
     
  4. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    I don't give out Christmas cards at work. I don't "know" everyone so I figure I would just not give any so as not to leave anyone out.
     
  5. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    To be honest, I feel you're putting a lot of thought into a Christmas card.
     
  6. Resentful

    Resentful Rookie

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    I might be, but you never know how people will react.
     
  7. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Are you wanting a reaction? Wanting to avoid a reaction?

    If you think people might nana nana boo boo yourChristmas card in other people's faces--and you don't want them to be upset by that--then I just might toss a card in everyone's mailbox. :)
     
  8. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    I think if you're going to hand them out, just give them to everyone.
     
  9. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    I think you're over thinking it. Either give them everyone or give them to the people you want. It's just a card. Wishing someone a merry Christmas doesn't mean that I condone the person's work ethic or claim them as a friend.

    Honestly I have no idea whether everyone in the building gets cards from the people who send them to me, nor do I really care. If they give me one, that's fine. If not, that's fine, too.
     
  10. GemStone

    GemStone Habitué

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    Who's going to know or, frankly, be concerned over your Christmas card recipients? I'll tell you: nobody. You're putting them in mailboxes, not handing them out at a staff meeting! So nobody will really know or notice that they didn't get one. And if you're not close to them, they also won't care if they do find out.
     
  11. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Aficionado

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    First give the Christmas card to the person you don't want to give one to, then give one to each remaining staff member. If you do this then you will be truly celebrating the meaning of Christmas.

    I would suggest to all staff members or not to any. What would you do if your students purposely left one student out? It isn't okay for children and it isn't okay for adults.
     
  12. Resentful

    Resentful Rookie

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    I've gotten some good replies. This is one, too. I am afraid to post this, as I know some will get offended. It is my honest opinion. I really don't believe in all children should get a card. What about the class bully? Or the class, for lack of better word, "whiner" who's always just miserable? :unsure: I think it reinforces the idea of it's ok to do X negative behavior. Look, everyone still included you/gave you a card. I remember growing up, we never had these rules. I have to inforce them for students as it's a school rule, but I don't agree with them.
     
  13. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    At my school everyone hangs their photo Holiday photo cards on the board in the office so all can enjoy.:love:
     
  14. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    You don't believe the "whiner kid" should get a card from...the teacher, other students?
     
  15. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Aficionado

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    I really don't believe in all children should get a card. What about the class bully? Or the class, for lack of better word, "whiner" who's always just miserable?

    That is why they call it a gift. A reward is something earned. A gift is something based out of pure giving. For example, if my wife does something I don't like, I will forgive her and still buy her gifts for birthday, Christmas, anniversary, or just because. I love her for better or worse, and forgive the mistakes. All I have to think of my mess ups and it isn't hard to not hold a grudge.

    I don't "love" students, but I do like them all and want them to know that I see the good in each one of them. For the bad things they do, they get consequences so they already have "paid the price" for the things they have done. I do see good in all children. Some just have some work in making better decisions. I know the idea of trying to like all children seemed a bit strange to me at first. I have been pleasantly surprised that if one looks hard enough, even the "difficult" children have their good moments.

    By the way, the better half is reminding me of my promise that it nearing Saturday night, and I need to sign off. Good luck to you.
     
  16. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Well, there you go. You didn't really need advice from us. You have your beliefs about what is right when it comes to giving. It seems you believe that society's rules for manners are incorrect. Just remember there are consequences to your belief also. Decorum states that if you are giving something out in a public fashion and you don't have one for everyone, you should not give any out. Since your beliefs are not aligned with society's accepted manners, there will be consequences for violating the societal rules.

    The beauty of being an adult is you can choose to defy the societal rules. What you must weigh though is the consequences and workplace animosity that doing so may cause. So, the only question is, which one is more important to you? Staying true to your belief or the avoidance of the workplace/political issues it will cause.
     
  17. Resentful

    Resentful Rookie

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    Thanks for the advice everyone. I've decided to just give a card, via mail, to those coworkers I deal with outside of work.
     
  18. SCTeachInTX

    SCTeachInTX Fanatic

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    I would only give cards to my teamies and admin. That is a little Christmas card overload. Send out a Christmas email to others on the staff that you like. No hurt feelings there. Oh, and if you give a card to most of your grade level, do it for all. Be the bigger person... "Tis the season... Remember the reason."
     
  19. Curiouscat

    Curiouscat Comrade

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    All I can think of is how crushed a child would be if you left them out. How can you break a child's heart?
    Children with issues have issues for a reason. Those issues didn't come from nowhere. Somebody has influenced the child to begin these behaviors. As an adult, you should be modeling the opposite of what that child sees outside of your classroom.
    I pray things will change for you before you hurt a child.
     
  20. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    You need to look at the meaning behind the card. Are you doing it for appearances sake or is the card meaningful to you? If you are Christian, then you need to consider that this card is your way of spreading a little kindness that has nothing to do with the rest of the year. If not, there should still be some meaning in the card that prevents you from singling out a few people to not get it.
    I don't give out cards at work because I have a fear that I will leave someone out. There always seems to be a new cafeteria worker or custodian that "sneaks in".
    I say send to all or send to those you wish to, outside of school. Don't make it a popularity contest. And, I have to say, your comment about kids really disturbed me. Teaching that not all kids deserve a card is teaching kids to judge. We should be teaching them to give other people a chance. Maybe that kid is a bully because he's beaten daily at home. Maybe that kid is a "whiner" because he's neglected at home (or, in my student's case he has a mother who is dying and he doesn't know how to deal with it.) I hope that's something that you reconsider with time.
     
  21. Resentful

    Resentful Rookie

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    The reason we even took the picture is because Christmas is DH's favorite time of the year. He gives out a ton of cards. I just go with what he wants on this. It's not important to me. So, I've decided what I've decided with my cards.

    As an adult, I've never not given a child a card or a present. However, if I have a tough class or a student I don't enjoy having in my class, I will just not give cards out. We still have a holiday party with goodies. So, they're not missing out on anything by not getting a card or cheap little trinkets from me. (The children get kid themed cards. Not the photo cards we send to adults.) I have to be honest. I've taught in different situations. In a daycare, in a tutoring center, a summer camp, and in public school. Nearly every year there's been a child I don't like. Do I hate them? No. Do I wish they weren't in my class/care? Yes. I've heard other teachers say so aloud. It's just nature. You're going to like certain people, and children, more or relate to some people more. Some children do certain things for no reason. There's a girl who I've had limited contact. She has nice parents, they both work in the school. She is a PAIN. I've talked to her teachers past and present. They say the same. I know she gets everything she wants at home and is not abused. Why the negative behavior? A lot of times, children have a reason. There are some children who act negatively for no reason. My point is it's ok to not like every student as long as you treat them all equally.
     
  22. round stanley

    round stanley Companion

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    Dec 2, 2012

    I agree with readingrules12. If you are actually thinking of Christmas then celebrate the meaning too. It is easier to just skip it. The people you didn't give cards to last year probably aren't losing sleep over the snub.
     
  23. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Seems like a good way of handling it!
     
  24. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    I would probably give a card to everyone. It's just a nice gesture.
    At the schools I sub at I know everyone. Some I'm close with, others we're colleagues (we sometimes talk) and others, we hardly ever talk. There's the TA who I reported (I posted about him here), there's a long term sub whom I rode to work with a few times, but I don't know him well, and normally he walks around with his nose stuck up in the sky. I would feel strange if I gave a card to everyone but those 2. I would give it to them, too, it's just a card, it's a nice gesture, nothing more.
     
  25. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    I would give them to everyone also.
     
  26. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Aficionado

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    Resentful,

    You say you treat your students equally, but you have spent all your posts trying to persuade us that it is okay to NOT treat them all equally, by only giving cards to the ones you like.

    Wow! I have known teachers who struggle to like children, but you are the first I have met who openly seems satisfied in liking some and not liking others.

    Teaching means "to bring out". I am not sure how you can bring out the best in each child, when you don't even like some. Could you imagine having your child in a classroom where the teacher doesn't like your child and refuses to try to like them?

    If you change your attitude, you will find good in each child. If you don't, I have no idea why you stay as a teacher. Anybody can teach the well behaved and motivated students. It doesn't require much.

    Dare to be great and care for each child. Yes, you'll notice the flaws, but even a diamond needs a lot of polishing at the beginning.
     

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