case of a child behaving well only if parent is not in the classroom

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by sanasr, Nov 24, 2008.

  1. sanasr

    sanasr Rookie

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    Nov 24, 2008

    Hello,

    I teach 4s this year and I have a student who behaves extremely well in the classroom. I have noticed that when his mom/dad arrive to pick him up, he starts to misbehave and do things that he wouldn't do during school hours (such as kicking the wall, throwing classroom items...). He listens to me during school. But when his mom/dad is present, he does not listen to me.

    In the classroom, I re-enforce discipline by giving positive verbal reinforcement and modeling behavior. So, I'm not sure if it's me or something else. Please help!
     
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  3. vannapk

    vannapk Groupie

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    Nov 24, 2008

    Sounds perfectly normal to me, this is very common in my experience- it's definitely not you. I taught pubic pre-k for 15 years and at least half the kids I ever taught were exactly like this. At parent conferences all the parents ever wanted to talk about was their child's poor behavior and how they couldn't figure out what they were doing wrong. I was almost always shocked beyond belief because these were usually the best students in my classroom.

    The problem is this:
    You have set expectations, rules, routines, and procedures in place in the classroom. The parents have not set any expectations, no rules have been set or they are inconsistent or not enforced etc. Therefore, the child thinks whenever the parents are present he or she should now meet the expectations of the parents, and they have none so the child misbehaves. You should feel good that you have obviously created an environment where the child feels safe and knows how to behave and interact with peers appropriately.
     
  4. Taliesin

    Taliesin Rookie

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    Nov 25, 2008

    I have experienced this many times with different children. I have seen well behaved children have full blown temper tantrums just to get what they want from their parents. The sad thing is that is always works. :(

    I really don't think you can do anything differently except maybe talk with the class about being good listeners at home.

    I'm in a private Christian school and I had the children memorize the Bible verse, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord; for this is right." Ephesians 6:1. Maybe it helped a little bit. I know the verse has been a topic of discussion at home for at least some of my class.
     
  5. sanasr

    sanasr Rookie

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    Nov 25, 2008

    That's exactly what happened during parent conference! Thank you for your inputs.
     
  6. sarzacsmom

    sarzacsmom Groupie

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    Nov 25, 2008

    I simply speak to the child about their behavior when it happens, and tell them they may not act that way. "_____, I do not like your behavior right now. You do not act like this when Mommy and Daddy are not here and you may not act like this now. You are being rude to me and to your Mommy and Daddy and that is not okay." It usually puts an end to the behaviour and gets the message across to the parents that it's unacceptable behavior and that it is okay to discipline their child in the classroom
     

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