Calling parents out on rudeness

Discussion in 'General Education' started by MrsRed, Jun 6, 2016.

  1. MrsRed

    MrsRed Rookie

    Jul 15, 2011
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    Jun 6, 2016

    Do you think it is ever okay for a teacher to tell a parent that they are being rude?

    More specifically, I had a parent imply that I didn't give her child credit for an assignment (I actually did) because "he wasn't [my] best student." I wanted to tell her that I didn't appreciate what she was implying, but I didn't. I'm not sure, sometimes, how much leeway to give rude parents.
  3. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

    Jan 13, 2007
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    Jun 6, 2016

    How is that rude? Paranoid and delusional, perhaps.
    Parents of "not the best student" often think we have it out for their kid when, in reality, it's more likely that we've cut them some slack at some point.

    My guess is that the kid is saying that he did the work but that you didn't give him credit because you don't like him.

    Of course, the truth is that he didn't do the work and you like him just fine (but probably not as much since he lied to his parents about you).

    What parents need to know is that even the best kids will tell the biggest fibs whenever they are taking heat for poor grades. I swore up and down that my 10th grade history teacher only gave A's and B's to guys on the basketball team (I went to an all boy's school). The reality was that he gave A's and B's to anyone who paid attention in class and did the work. That meant I got a C.

    What teachers need to understand is that a lot of parents have trouble wrapping their heads around the idea of their C student lying about why they are a C student when the C student never lies about anything else. That leads to the angry parent saying to the teacher "Are you calling my kid a liar?"

    The best way to answer would be no, he's not a liar. He's just a normal kid trying to talk his way out of whatever the consequence is for not applying himself at school.
  4. Obadiah

    Obadiah Groupie

    Jul 27, 2015
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    Jun 7, 2016

    In situations such as this, I find most parents need me to listen. They have a concern, and my attention to their problem is important. In most cases, the discussion between the parent and myself resolves the conflict....However, there are some parents who continue the conflict for many various reasons. In those situations, the real problem is hidden under the surface and the teacher is just a scapegoat for venting their frustrations. But even in those situations, I try to remember that all of us need a kind, loving, attentive ear to listen to us. I can be that person.
    bandnerdtx and MrsC like this.
  5. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

    Aug 10, 2010
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    Jun 8, 2016

    I think parents should be called out. I'm tired of this mentality that we're in the customer service industry and that we have to make our "shareholders" happy at any expense. I would never get support from administration if I called out a parent, though.
    Pashtun and Backroads like this.
  6. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

    Aug 25, 2011
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    Jun 8, 2016

    I don't think an "I understand your concern, but I don't appreciate your insinuation that I have it out for your kid" would be misplaced. That's a very subtle way to tell them they're being slightly rude and that you don't really have it out for her child.

    I don't really call out parents in the heat of the moment because I simply am too preoccupied trying to defuse the situation, but I did appreciate when my P called out a parent who made an outrageous insinuation.

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