Called CPS yesterday - vent

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by Terri in CA, Jun 16, 2009.

  1. Terri in CA

    Terri in CA Rookie

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    Jun 16, 2009

    Yesterday was a very stressful day here. We noticed that a child here had bruises all over her back. This is a child that we had already flagged as possibly neglected. So we made the call to CPS and reported what we knew.

    At 3:00 (pick up time for most of our kids) a lady from CPS showed up and questioned the child and parent. The parent freaked out and got 5 other families involved. The parent told us it was a Mongolian birth mark. We looked up information on it, and they sure looked more like bruises. The child has been with us since Nov, and we didnt notice them till yesterday. Plus she never mentioned them to us, and the DR form doesnt mention anything about them either. I hope thats what they are and the child will be ok. :(

    Of course in the end the parent pulled the child from our program and demanded a refund for the remainder of the month. She even tried to get one of our teachers fired because she thought she was the one who called. :confused::eek::(
     
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  3. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    You did what you are leagally required to do. You may have made an enemy and lost some income, but the child now has an open file, and CPS knows about him. Your reward is more than the money you have lost.
     
  4. hockeygirl39

    hockeygirl39 Rookie

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    Jun 16, 2009

    if it really was Mongolian birth mark then they would not have gotten so upset and the Dr would have made metion of it on a health form. you did the right thing. I am sorry the parent had to make it ugly but they were trying to cover the incident by drawing attention away from the real problem. I have had the same type of thing happen to me in the past.
     
  5. Mom2two

    Mom2two Companion

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    That is so sad. That poor little child:( I hope CPS is going to follow up with this situation. How scary to even let the child go back in the care of the parent. This kind of thing breaks my heart:unsure:
     
  6. WaProvider

    WaProvider Fanatic

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    Wow, the CPS person came to question in only one day ----and by pickup. Here that has NEVER happened. I guess when you settle down you can look at it as a CPS drill. You called - they came--system check done.

    Really---that is good time for here.

    Sorry about the angry parent-----I bet they wouldn't have yelled as much if they weren't hiding something - as pp said.
     
  7. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    I don't think a birthmark would have been on a health form. The fact that you didn't know about it wouldn't mean that it wasn't there. I don't know whether it was bruises or whether it was a birthmark. For the record though, having a parent get mad because you called CPS is not an indication of guilt. People feel embarrassed when CPS has to come out even if they are proven innocent.

    Regardless, you did exactly what you were supposed to do.
     
  8. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Terri, does the child have dark skin? I have seen the birthmarks, and they do look like bruises. I have never seem them on white skin.
     
  9. mrsc_teaches

    mrsc_teaches Companion

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    Hey at least CPS showed up...I could in theory still be waiting. When I worked for a daycare center, we called because the child had diaper rash so bad she was loosing chunks of skin. It was so painful to change her. We documented her leaving in a diaper Friday and returning in the same one on Monday morning. CPS NEVER SHOWED!!! Why because of the scene from above and the director went over our heads and "cleared it up."
     
  10. blindteacher

    blindteacher Cohort

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    Jun 16, 2009

    I think you did the right thing. In the end in the slight chance that the bruises are indeed a birthmark (this sounds like a very typical cover up excuse to me) at least the child and parent will still be evaluated. It's better to be safe than sorry.
     
  11. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    You did the right thing. I hope and pray they are somehow birthmarks that you all missed. I'm not sure that it was right for CPS to come to the daycare. Don't they usually go to the home?

    On another note and putting this whole case aside. I think I would be really ticked if CPS met me at a daycare and asked me about anything in front of others when the hunch by the workers was wrong. How do you get over that stigma?
     
  12. tb71

    tb71 Cohort

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    That is so sad. I remember on the rare occassion when my little ones when get a minor diaper rash and how painful that was--I couldn't imagine the diaper rash to this extreme--the same diaper from Friday to Monday...:(
     
  13. andbel

    andbel Rookie

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    Your right - in most cases if not all - mongolian birth marks do not show up on Caucasian skin. My son had/has them - they fade as kids grow, but yes, they can be mistaken for bad bruising. My sons didn't show up until a week or so after we got them home. As soon as I noticed them, i made mention of them to his pediatrician. Not sure if she made notes in his file or not. You have to take the child's safety into consideration - you did what you thought was best for the child.
    Getting angry is not a sign of guilt - it could have been because the parent was not given a chance to explain before calling CPS.
     
  14. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Yeah...I would be angry too.
     
  15. Terri in CA

    Terri in CA Rookie

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    Jun 17, 2009

    Update

    According to the mom she has been cleared by CPS (she didnt tell us if they agreed they were birth marks or not though). But we havent heard anything from CPS yet, they said we would get some paper work in the mail stating if the case was open or closed.

    But yesterday when the mom called to tell us she was cleared she was very irate. She demanded an apology from the teacher she thinks called on her. We told her she wont be getting an apology from that teacher (because she didnt call anyway!) and because even if she did, its her job so why apologize for doing her job.

    We had to hang up on her because she was going on and on about how the teacher should be fired and how she wants her apology. She called 3 more times after that.

    Today is our "jumping up" party. (Graduation) so I hope she doesnt come and cause trouble.
     
  16. Terri in CA

    Terri in CA Rookie

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    answer

    The mom is Korean, and dad is Hawaiian. She is what I would call fair skinned for her ethnicity. Most of the other Korean children we have are darker skinned.
     
  17. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Keep us posted, Terri. Sorry you all are dealing with the aftermath of this.
     
  18. Hummingbrd

    Hummingbrd Rookie

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    Jun 17, 2009

    Terri,
    I had to call CPS after finding bruises on a little boy last year. He told me that his Mom hit him with a broom. The little boy stayed in our class and his situation did improve that year, so we knew it was the right thing to do, but it was very stressful on me at the time.
    We received CPS training and they told us when in doubt we are mandated to call. It's not our job to determine whether they are birthmarks, etc. if there's any doubt we are required by law to call. It's CPS' job to determine the cause. You did the right thing.
    Take care.
     
  19. terptoteacher

    terptoteacher Connoisseur

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    My children were all born with these marks. We are of Asian decent but there is a fair amount of caucasian in us too. I had the doctor specifically document all spots on their charts. I know that many people are told to have the doc. document them, so if she hadn't had that done she should have.

    I would not doubt that this child has these spots with a Hawaiian father and Korean mother.
     
  20. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Hmmm very interesting. Thank you for sharing. I need to look up these birthmarks. I am embarrassed to say I have never heard of them.
     
  21. WaProvider

    WaProvider Fanatic

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    I have heard of them, but I have always had the parents show us at the beginning of care/school so that we know. The child's spots are documented and then the teacher and parent know that everyone is on the same page. The CPS officals have been called in on a variety of spots in our area and the parents explain. There usually isn't a lot of drama, but then again---I stated earlier I haven't ever seen CPS come as fast as the OP states.
     
  22. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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    I agree. We have to be careful about making those kind of accusations. You have to make the call to CPS, but it's their job to figure out the real story.

    How would you feel if you showed up to pick up your child and was met with a CPS worker? I would probably pull my child too. I wouldn't want to take my child back to a place where I knew the workers thought I abused my child.
     
  23. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

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    This is sad. Y'all marked the diaper in some way? I can't believe that someone would leave their child in the same diaper the whole weekend. The poor child.
    Rebel1
     
  24. gingerbread

    gingerbread Rookie

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    I had a black little girl that i noticed the mongolian birth marks that indeed looked like bruises, after a month or so of being there. When changing the baby you'r not always looking at their lower back. I noted it and asked mom about the mark. Mom was very coperative and talked to me about the babies dark mongolian spots and showed me again the child's lower back, and told us she would bring in a note from the doctor
     
  25. KinderESLtchr

    KinderESLtchr Rookie

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    I am so sorry that it turned out so negatively, but you put the child's best interests first and did what you had to do for the child's safety. Now, that parent will have a file with the abuse/neglect agency. If it happens again, no matter where they go, they will pull up that file. You did what was right.
     
  26. sarzacsmom

    sarzacsmom Groupie

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    I can understand why the parent was so upset, but I can also understand why you did what you ddi, and it was the right thing to do. Wehn we have had the rare isntance of suspecting abuse the director has pulled the parent aside in the office and told them, and told them that she contacted DCYF. They have sent a caseworker to interview the child (if old enough) or to observe the child usually within 24 hours of the call.
     
  27. teach2read10

    teach2read10 Companion

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    Right Thing

    You definitely did the right thing, legally and ethically.
     
  28. Mrs.Sheila

    Mrs.Sheila Cohort

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    You did the right thing, and honestly I am glad you posted this. I want our director to maybe add a special place (or maybe I will) about specifying "identification marks" just so it is already on file ahead of time.
     
  29. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    I don't know anything about daycare but if it were my child I would have let them know from day 1 about the birthmarks. That's just lazy on the parent's part if that was all it was. I would just want the people taking care of my child to know EVERYTHING about him/her.
     
  30. WaProvider

    WaProvider Fanatic

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    I agree with Teacher Ny. It only makes sense if you know of marks to let the people who have him all day know.
     
  31. mrsc_teaches

    mrsc_teaches Companion

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    Yeah we marked every diaper with the child's initials so we used the correct diaper with the child. SO the parent knew we did this it wasnt a HUGE secret. Her excused was she took it off when they got back home and it was "dry" so she just reused it Monday morning. YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!
     
  32. KinderMissN

    KinderMissN Companion

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    Y'all did the right thing. I know it is very tough to have a parent mad at you. I was in a similar position last year. CPS had come to interview me about a particular family, I had siblings the year prior and the current year. After the parents were interviewed, they assumed it was me who had called. They came to the school and confronted me about the call. It is a tough situation to be in.
     
  33. rslucr

    rslucr New Member

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    You were correct in calling CPS.. California law states that you are mandated to report. If you fail to report, subject to fine and possible jail time. It was the parents responsibility to inform the site of the birthmarks. Good Job!!
     

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