Broken Heart

Discussion in 'Prayer Request Forum' started by love2teach6, May 5, 2007.

  1. love2teach6

    love2teach6 New Member

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    May 5, 2007

    I am new to this, but I could use some words of encouragement. My fiance and I were set to get married in about 3 months when all of a sudden (well, all of a sudden to me) he called everything off last month. Not only the wedding, but our 5 year relationship as well. I've moved out and he has said that he just wants to live the single life. He says he doesn't feel like he's the relationship type of guy. There were no signs that this was coming. He claims he's been unhappy for a couple years now, and thought that proposing would make this better. He's younger, only 22 where I'm 24, and I have friends that are telling me this could just be cold feet--but in the mean time, whatever this is that he's feeling, i'm left feeling alone and heart broken. I know that this is what he wanted and I can't sit around and wait for him to change his mind. I just don't know how to start over and move on without him. This feels like a divorce instead of a break up.
     
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  3. Pixiewannabe

    Pixiewannabe Comrade

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    May 5, 2007

    love2teach6~ I'm sorry that this has happened to you, I will keep you in my prayers. I can only imagine how hard it must be to teach and have this going on in my personal life. I personally think it is easier to get over the situation if you walk away completely, don't let him be in control. 5 years thats a long time, I'm sorry.
    I notice that you are from Mankato that is where my husband is from, we live in the cities but are moving south this summer, where will depend on where I get a job. What school are you at? At least in Mankato you have a variety of places to go and meet new people, wishing you the best.
    justine
     
  4. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    May 5, 2007

    This must be so sad. I'm sorry for the pain you must be going through. I am a firm beleiver that when someone says they don't want a relationship- they mean it. It may just be cold feet, but to be honest, it really doesn't matter... does it? I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you probably saved yourself from going through a lot more heartbreak. If it is meant to be.... it will happen. In the meantime, pick yourself up and force yourself to smile. You will be a stronger person after this
     
  5. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    May 6, 2007

    I'm so sorry.
     
  6. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    May 6, 2007

    I can understand how it must feel more like a divorce than a breakup. I will pray for you.
     
  7. hescollin

    hescollin Fanatic

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    May 6, 2007

    Sending e mail hugs to you.
     
  8. Pixiewannabe

    Pixiewannabe Comrade

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    May 7, 2007

    Still praying for you
    justine
     
  9. Amers

    Amers Cohort

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    May 7, 2007

    I am so sorry. I've been in a relationship for the past 5+ years, and I can't even imagine how much pain you must be in right now. I'll pray for you! :sorry:
     
  10. tm91784

    tm91784 Comrade

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    May 13, 2007

    I'm so sorry to hear that! I will keep you in my prayers.
     
  11. moonbeamsinajar

    moonbeamsinajar Habitué

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    May 18, 2007

    Thinking of you, lovetoteach6. Remember, things will get better. Give yourself sometime to grieve. And please take good care of yourself.
     
  12. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    May 19, 2007

    I wish there were something that could help, but I'm guessing that time will be the only thing. My heart breaks for you. Take care of yourself.
     
  13. PaperbackWriter

    PaperbackWriter Rookie

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    May 20, 2007

    This sucks and i know it difficult to go through.

    From a males perspective, i would say for you to move on. Dont wait for him, because you never know if he will really try to amend the relationship. Just start concentrating on YOU. Join a gym, get involved in hobbies, go to concerts, and everything will fall into place.

    On the other hand, dont rush into a relationship and dont persuade the fella to get back with you, that should be his move. Keep the lines of communication open, and dont fully burn all bridges of communication. Just let him make the next move, and you need to stay strong. Like stated earlier, stay busy and get involved in things you always wanted to. Live life. Everything will work out just fine.

    Like my abuelo once told me, "things happen for reasons" and "if one door closes, another always opens". Remember, its better that you found out about how he feels sooner than later, imagine if you were married already and possibly had a little one on the way.

    This is my opinion of course, and i will pray for you:love:

    From the book Entertaining an Elephant: The Chinese word for disaster, is the same word for opportunity
     
  14. precious angel

    precious angel Companion

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    May 20, 2007

    Paperbackwriter,

    Thank you so much for your advice to lovetoteach6. My ex-boyfriend broke up with me last year and he's still trying to communicate with me. I prayed to God that I would get pass it but my ex act as if he can not move on. I have been single since the break up and I have been trying to stay involved in different activities. He still act as if I have to answer to him and gets jealous when I come in his area and do not contact him. Well, thanks again for your advice; it helped me out with what I'm going through.
     
  15. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    May 20, 2007

    I had a different take. I don't know the whole situation and how it all happened, but....

    Sometimes with guys they aren't aware of what they are really feeling or saying. I know my own husband called off our engagement (not for long). There have also been a few times, in the last 12 years of marriage, where he became so frustrated that he threatens that we should separate and possibly divorce. He literally packed his bag. A relatively short conversation where I asked him specifically what he would change and what he was unhappy about led me to the truth of it all and things calmed down (he typically was stressed about money or family changes).

    Do I think this route works most of the time? Probably not. Most of the time the person seeking the breakup probably really means it. I also do know when someone is lonely or becomes jealous they seek out that person not out of reconcilliation but out of the inadequancy of being alone. I wouldn't want to cause you heartache by suggesting that you seek out the truth when it really is the truth and you need to move on. Nor are you guaranteed to even get the truth just because you seek it.
     
  16. PaperbackWriter

    PaperbackWriter Rookie

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    May 21, 2007

    No problem, im glad that i could help ;)

    Ive been on both sides of the "hanging-on" coin (not intentially though). I have tried to make a relationship work and put a lot of effort to make it work, and it didnt go anywhere. I thought to myself:
    "how lame, i spent all this time and energy into trying to make this work, all the while my schooling is being neglected. Friends and family not being in touch with. And a lot of things that i want to do, like learn how to dance slasa, start working out, and travel."

    I felt so much better about myself afterwords, and glad that i made the change, instead of trying to hang on. Its easy to misinterpret signals (mixed signals), but sometimes you just need to try to open your eyes and see if something is wrong in the picture.
    CutNglue- I think that approach is what is needed when your married.I come from a divorced family, and i wouldnt want that for my little ones. Luckily, my parents are fantastic and everything worked well with step parents.

    A sidenote-

    In my opinion, it seems as though society instills a need in people to be in relationships and what not. It feels almost like people are surprised when they learn you are concentrating on your career instead of improving ones self. I do think relationships are important, but i belive one should focus on "handeling business" and the rest will fall into place.
    Handeling you biz and completeing various goals will definitley make you more confident and have a higher sense of self. I think this ups your appealness factor, because there is something attractive about a person with confidence.

    -PBW
     
  17. precious angel

    precious angel Companion

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    May 21, 2007

    Paperbackwriter,

    You are on point right now. That's what I have been doing-getting myself together. I know what I want and I will not settle for less. I have this year set for me to get prepared in the classroom and better myself. I have been waiting on this since age 9 and God knows it's my time of the season to get blessed. I know a man will come afters but so many people can not believe I'm single (they think an attractive woman can not have time to herself):love:. I know that God will bless me with a man as long as I stay faithful to Him (God).
     
  18. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    May 21, 2007

    I went through something similar at 24. I was engaged and the wedding was set for October 2nd. I flew home two weeks before the wedding to finalize the plans. 10 days before the wedding I got a call from my ex, telling me it was over. I had to call all of the guests and leave messages that the wedding was canceled. It was the worst thing I had ever had to do. I'm so happy he made that decision. I found the love of my life a year later. I am now 31 and we are still together. Not married but together. I didn't want to rush into an engagement.
    Anyway things happen for a reason. You will get through this, it will make you a stronger person! Remember to spend time with your family and friends.
     
  19. leholding

    leholding New Member

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    May 21, 2007

    I couldn't agree with JamieMarie more. I too went through a similiar situation. Spent years with a guy who I thought was the one. We had talked about getting married a couple of times, but that was as far as it went. One day he decided that he "needed some time to be alone". At the time I was going back to school and thought it was a great time for me to focus on myself. A month later, he moved another girl into his house. It broke my heart. I turned to one of my best friends (who happens to be male) for comfort, something I did quite frequently. It turned out that my best friend was more than that to me... We have been married now for 3 months, but it has been the happiest three months of my life. God chose for me to go through the last relationship to show me what was in front of me the whole time. God allows us to go through bad times in order to grow. There is growth ahead for you! This may have just been the opportunity that you needed to look inside your self, and grow as a person so that when the right one comes along, you will add your little special touches to his life!
    Hang on... Things suck now, but there are good things in store for you! God blesses those that belong to Him!!!:love:
     

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