Bringing a child into this world

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by DrivingPigeon, Feb 28, 2011.

  1. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

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    Has anyone (without kids) seriously thought against not having children because of the world we live in today? I have always wanted children, but it just seems like the world is not a very good place to bring a child into.
     
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  3. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Yes. We made the decision to not bring children into this world because I know I'd be worried to the point of it being unhealthy. I'm confident in my decision, yet I'm not not entirely happy with it...if that makes sense. I wish circumstances were different. I actually teared up ever so slightly in Walmart of all places this weekend when passing the toddler clothing section. I know I will leave this Earth having not participated in one of the most interesting experiences. :(
     
  4. Ms. I

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    Good topic! Oh yes, I've thought about it. I worry most about whether my child will stay on the straight & narrow. We can raise our kids as best we can, but because of friends they come in contact with at school, etc., who knows how easily they can be influneced by others. Yet, I don't know if I'd want my child to be isolated being homeschooled. I'd want to find a good private school for sure. Overall, I do want kids, but no more than two...male/female twins would be perfect, then I'd have one of each & they'd be the same age going through everything at the same time together! Then, I'd worry about those pre-teen/teen years, college years, what kind of mate/spouse they'll have. It's hard enough these days to find a good guy or lady. So, I'd basically be worried all the time, which all parents do I'm sure!

    It's definitely something to think about though. Not to brag, but I think I'd make an excellent mother who'll have a lot to offer & teach, so no matter how bad the world may get, I'd still want a little one!
     
  5. TiffanyL

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    No. Life is full of ups and downs, challenges and dangers. We have a large family and the kids are everything to us and everything to each other. Sure, we worry, stress, fight, and get little sleep some nights. But we also make-up, care about, and love each other. Family is everything in our life.

    One of the things that helps us to not worry is to remember that we can get through everything and anything that comes our way...and we will be better for it afterward.
     
  6. VANewbie

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    My mom used to always tell me this. She said she is happy I am here but she thinks about the world we live in and she warns me all the time.
    It will not stop me from having kids though.
     
  7. DrivingPigeon

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    Yeah, I'm sure it won't stop me, either. This world is just a scary place!
     
  8. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    I think those of us with lil ones think...WOW... I hope things get better!!!
     
  9. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    I believe that children are our future...teach them well and let them lead the way...:whistle:
     
  10. MuggleBug

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    If we don't bring good kids into this world, things will never turn around. :)

    I know that is naive and unrealistic, but if we raise our kids to make a difference in someone's life, I think it's worth it.
     
  11. JustMe

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    But if the students I interact with daily are any indication of our future... :unsure: Additionally, raising your children to be "good" isn't the slightest promise they will in fact bring goodness to this world.
     
  12. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    I know you said this thread is for those who don't have children...But, if it's ok for me to chime in...I will....I think all of your worries are legit...But, I also strongly believe that the main reason for life is to love others. Children bring such love, as well as teach us to love. My family is a treasure to me given by God. I feel so blessed everyday for my family. What is greater than family anyway (aside from God)?
     
  13. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    If we do our jobs as parents and provide a loving and secure home, our children have the best chances to be good citizens in this world. Of course they'll encounter bumps in the road along their way to adulthood, but that's why good parenting is so important. I think all of us here on this thread are definitely fit to care for children. We sincerely care about their well being.
     
  14. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Wow. I'd place my bets on a kid raised with lots of love, who has a good moral sense and values, who has self-worth and respects others...any day of the week. Such kids may not grow up to make BIG changes in the world, but I do think that kindness and compassion go a loooong way in bringing goodness into the world. I respect anyone's choice to not have a child...I'd expect the same respect for those who have hopes and dreams for the chidren they have or hope to have...and the kids I teach? Well, I'd like to think that they are not only learning core content in school, but also kindness, caring, respect and compassion...those lessons, well-learned will bring at least a bit of goodness.:love:
     
  15. TiffanyL

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    I work with some VERY tough students. Sure, I guess I could spend some time dwelling on all their parents are not teaching them. But, man, even amid some really rough home lives....these are some great kids with great potential. They just need someone to believe in them.
     
  16. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    This is so true. :thumb:
     
  17. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    We all have that potential to be the 'enlightened witness' in kids' lives...without even knowing it, the encouragement, smiles, pats on the back, thumbs up that we give kids sends the message that we understand them, give them a sense of belonging, and the knowledge that someone believes in them...so they can believe in themselves. :thumb:
     
  18. Major

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    Someone will have to pay for the sins of the past...... Don't know if it's the generation being born today or perhaps the current 30-40 year old group.

    I just spent a few minutes...... relaxing during happy hour ....... watching this:

    http://www.usdebtclock.org/


    Fascinating isn't it..... Someone, someday will have to pay....... Make sure your chin straps are snapped tight.....
     
  19. MissCeliaB

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    I can't have kids, but if I could I would if I could support them financially. I would like to adopt at some point, but it's so expensive I'm not sure that will ever be an option for us. I try to make all the difference I can with my students at work.
     
  20. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    I'm sure you are making a big difference, MissC.:love:
     
  21. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    :thumb:

    When I taught HS, I told my student how proud I was of him. He was 14 or 15 (it was 9th grade). He looked up at me and told me no one had ever told him that before. Can you imagine living 14 or 15 years and never hearing those words? Kids need others to believe in them, and to encourage them. That's what a lot of these "tough" kids are rebelling against. They are lacking that emotional aspect that we all long for.
     
  22. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    I'm sure he remembers you for that!:lol: can you imagine that a kid would make it thru 9 years of school and you were the only one he remembered saying that? How sad, and yet so great that you had that potential to make a difference...that was just a little bit of that 'goodness in the world'. I pray that more people who come in contact with kids realize that...
     
  23. 3Sons

    3Sons Enthusiast

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    If you had brought kids into the world a hundred years ago you could be subjecting them to a life crippled by smallpox or polio, or an early death, or a career starting at 10 years old in a rat-infested meatpacking plant. Crime, viewed over a long enough time frame, has steadily gone down. Health care, education, and lifestyle have all steadily improved. Tolerance of differences has steadily grown.

    Yes, the future is never assured, and I don't blame those who have chosen not to have children -- but I couldn't bring myself to decide based on fear of what might be to come.
     
  24. JustMe

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    Do you realize how rude your "wow" comments come across? I simply said pouring your heart and soul into raising a "good" child doesn't supply any sort of guarantee. And I say that only because it seems so many people's answer to these concerns is to simply raise a child right and they will in turn do right.
     
  25. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Yes, yes...I'm sure I wouldn't have had children then either (although, I suppose it would have been more likely social-wise). As far as fearing what may come, I'm concerned about what is.
     
  26. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Not trying to be rude...sometimes the twists threads take are surprising... hence the 'wow'...don't infer tone from that word choice, please.:thanks:
     
  27. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    I guess that's why we all have hope for the future and for what may come. If it was do you want to have kids in the past like 3Sons said a lot of us may not be here... I mean I think of those that had kids during or shortly after the Depression, when our dad's (well my dad before I was born) was being drafted... Each generation has its fear for the next, but the hope for something better than the last...
     
  28. Ima Teacher

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    I always thought that there were always bad things in the world, plenty even worse than the things we have now.

    I would have wanted to make sure that I had a good handle on my life so that I could provide the best of myself to a child.

    We chose not to try to have children, but it had nothing to do with the state of the world.
     
  29. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I refuse to live my life in fear of what may be and I have raised my children the same way. Caution, concern and awareness are all important, but fear can be crippling. My children are the best part of me; they make me whole; I can't imagine what my life would be like without them. I fully understand the myriad of reasons why people choose not to have children but I don't think I know anyone who made that choice out of fear.
     
  30. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Exactly.

    Like all parents, I worry about my kids. When my health issues got bad, I had lots of sleepless nights, worrying about them growing up without a mom. (Bizarre, I know, but others who have had real health issues can understand. Suddenly, your own mortality is a distant second worry to the idea that those kids need you.)

    But that's part of life. I refuse to let fear keep me from living.

    I look at some of the kids I teach, or the kids across the street, and I say "THAT'S how I'm hoping my kids will turn out!"

    Of course there are no guarantees. Again, that's part of life. So Peter and I try our hardest, try to model what we think is important, pray, talk and talk and talk with our kids, try some more, model some more, pray some more, and hope for the best.

    This world will never get better if we let fear cripple us. I'm hoping that my kids, along with my students and those kids across the street and MM's kids and Mrs C's kids and 3 son's kids and everyone else's kids will be the force for change that's so desperately needed.
     
  31. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I don't live my life in fear. The fact that I'm unhappy with much of our society was just one of many reasons for choosing not to have children. I don't feel that choosing to be childless has "crippled" me whatsoever. It's only once in a blue moon that I have this little wave that comes over me and I wish (several) circumstances were different for me and my husband.
     
  32. KinderCowgirl

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    It's a tough subject. And one that because of the expectations of society many just don't understand.

    You can compare to 100 years ago, but people didn't have choices to have children or not back then-birth control was not readily available and women simply grew up to become moms-that was society's expectation back then. I think what she's trying to say is that 20-30 years ago when we were growing up it was just a different world. We could ride our bikes in the cul-de-sac, our neighbors looked out for us-this world today is must less trustworthy. Even "good" kids get mixed up in things that end up being detrimental to them or with people who end up hurting them.

    I was at Walgreen's the other day and with the drug tests advertised to use on your teens, they also sell a combination lock for your perscription drugs because as it says on the bottle-70% of kids who take or sell such drugs get them from family members. It's just a different world and I see nothing wrong with a personal decision not to bring a child into it.
     
  33. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I also see nothing wrong with people's decisions, and I would never judge someone for choices they have made. I made different ones, but that doesn't make them correct--they were, however, right for me.

    I'll admit that I've been lucky; my children did ride their bikes up and down the street, they ran around the neighbourhood with groups of friends, travelling from one house to the next in search of another cookie or popsicle. They took money from their piggy banks and went to the corner store without me; they went to toboggan or play basketball or soccer at the school. There were lot of kids in our neighbourhood and lots of stay-at-home moms; we all looked out for each other. I see that same thing today in my neighbourhood; as I say, I've been lucky.
     
  34. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    Does anyone else not think the world is that bad of a place? Maybe I am naive. Then ignorance is bliss.
     
  35. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I agree. There are certainly dangers and horrible things happening but I don't think that they are lurking around every corner.
     
  36. smalltowngal

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    I have a 7 yr old. I worry about the world that she will be brought up in, but then, I think that parents 20, 50, 100 years ago probably felt the same way. All I can do is raise her the best way I can, and hope that she remembers the lessons that she learned and make good choices.
     
  37. DrivingPigeon

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    Maybe it's just because I'm a teacher in Wisconsin, but I have no idea what the future of my career is. If I can't teach, I don't know what I'll do, so I don't even know if I'll have a steady income. The whole economy is just a mess, and the public education system in WI is taking a $900 million cut. Think about what our public schools ill be like. I just think it's a scary world for kids today.
     
  38. math1abee

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    I really like that statement Alice.

    My whole life I have worked hard in school, tried to make good decisions and stood up for what I believed in. I try to make the world around me and the people around me better and feel better! I look at the world and yes it is sometimes a very scary place, and it is not certain what the future holds, but I'm not going to stop living my life and not trying to obtain my dreams because of that. I'm not going to let corrupt people in Washington, or on Wallstreet keep me from saving up to buy property and build a house or get my masters or have kids with my wonderful husband who will be such a great dad. Yes I can definitely understand why someone would not want children. I didn't want them up until about 1 year ago. I'm 25 and I'm going to wait a few more years but I'm going to continue to live my life and live it fearlessly!
     
  39. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Oh, I'm certainly not fearless!!!

    But I'm not going to let fears of things I can't control make my decisions for me.

    If I knew were were both carriers for a serious illnes, for example, perhaps I would have opted to adopt my three kids (instead of only adopting one.) But one way or another, there was no doubt that we were having kids.
     
  40. math1abee

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    True, maybe I'm not fearless, but fearless with caution?? Is that possible?

    And a serious illness like hemophilia or genetic heart problems would cause me to think more about it. Luckily my husband and I re very blessed to have very healthy family members.
     
  41. TeacherShelly

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    I remember my mom lamenting that we kids had it so much harder than she did. "We didn't have the kinds of drugs you have today, and we didn't have AIDS!" I feel the same with my girls. I didn't have the internet to get bullied on, and I didn't have the societal pressure to go to Ivy League college or be a loser. This doesn't make me think the world is too dangerous for children to live happily in, though. I feel confident I can handle things and teach my daughters to cope with the different challenges they will face.

    I do have a brighter view of the world than my parents do, however. My mom says the world is full of evil, and I don't see it that way - or not exclusively that way.
     

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