Bridesmaid Proposals

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by ChildWhisperer, Feb 17, 2017.

  1. ChildWhisperer

    ChildWhisperer Groupie

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    Feb 17, 2017

    When did bridesmaid proposals become a thing? It only JUST started getting popular, no? Like within the last couple of years? None of my friends got "proposed" to by their brides. I never got "proposed" to be when I was a bridesmaid. I only know about this because I do have some younger friends on Facebook that posted their goodies from their bridesmaid proposals.
    I asked my friends & sisters through the phone since I don't live near any of them. I never planned on doing anything creative to ask them. They pretty much knew it was coming anyway.
    BUT one of my sisters pretty much demanded today when I was going to "officially" ask her to be a bridesmaid with a "goodie bag". I told her that was just a trend, not a requirement. She said "it's not a trend. It's a nice thing people do". I get that she's younger and I bet a lot of her friends are getting one, but that is just NOT my kind of thing! I just plan on doing gifts on the wedding day!
    I'm just annoyed; rant is over, thanks for listening :p
    Not even sure what else to tell her.
    BTW, my other sister (who is even younger) says she just feels honored & excited. I told her that's how you're supposed to feel! You're not supposed to feel entitled to certain things..
     
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  3. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    Feb 17, 2017

    I got a mine a little something to ask them. I thought it was a cute idea, but I wouldn't expect it from anyone!
     
  4. viola_x_wittrockiana

    viola_x_wittrockiana Comrade

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    Feb 17, 2017

    It's a fairly recent thing - and very much not a requirement or even so common as to be expected. It is a young thing, like how "prom-posals" were non-existent when I was in HS. Just two weeks ago, I was asked to be a bridesmaid via a facebook group chat. It just made sense because three of five bridesmaids live hours away and we all have weird work hours that make it impractical to call. Two of my best friends are getting married to each other; my first thought was, "Now I know which side of the wedding I'm on," followed by, "I'd better get started on their wedding present," not, "Gee, I wish E. had asked us in a more formal way." I say you're the bride, you do you.
     
  5. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Feb 17, 2017

    Wow, I think that was very rude of your sister to demand a goody bag. I never heard of this. Do what is comfortable for you - and that goes for the whole wedding, too.
     
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  6. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    I'm afraid that, between this and "promposals", we're seeing a generation of what I've seen referred to as gimme-pigs.
     
  7. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    I've been a bridesmaid three times, and have never been asked with any extras. The first two weddings, I believe the bride asked me in person. The third one, she never asked. We are so close, I just knew! Part way through the planning, I believe when we went bridesmaid dress shopping, I said to her, "You know you haven't actually asked me if I want to do this?!" Haha!
     
  8. ChildWhisperer

    ChildWhisperer Groupie

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    Feb 17, 2017

    Thanks for your replies. I feel a little better and slightly less annoyed (not really. Still very much annoyed :D )
     
  9. ChildWhisperer

    ChildWhisperer Groupie

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    Feb 17, 2017

    Ha! I literally just did this the other day with one of mine. I texted her and said, "I just realized I never actually asked you if you want to be a bridesmaid! I just assumed you'd do it. Do you want to?!"
    She replied, "you should totally assume! Of course!" :D
     
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  10. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Feb 18, 2017

    Some of these bridesmaid proposals, prom-posals, gender reveal parties, etc are getting outta control! Sometimes, when I see pics of all these things on social media, I just shake my head.
     
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  11. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Feb 18, 2017

    I was confused at first. I thought you meant bridesmaids were proposing or getting proposals for marriage during a friend's wedding, which I thought wasn't too bad except that it does take away attention from the wedding at hand.

    So what I'm gathering is that the bridesmaid has to propose to a bride to BE a bridesmaid? Or vice versa? Weird.

    I always thought of the younger generations as throwing off ridiculous traditions, but it seems that they are in the habit of creating new ones as well. I think the marriage market is definitely ridiculous these days, and there are a lot of expectations even traditionally associated with marriage that I think are stupid. I'll make a list:

    1. Men are expected to propose to women. Luckily this one is dying out.
    2. Guests are expected to pay hundreds of dollars in wedding gifts. It's not a nice thing to do anymore, it's a requirement, and the couple gets angry when it doesn't happen.
    3. Couples are expected to spend thousands to tens of thousands on their wedding. A single day, in their entire lives, instead of saving that money for the rest of their life together. That's probably why they expect so much in guest gifts.
    4. Every detail has to be planned from save-the-date cards, to goodie baskets for the guests. And it all has to be expensive.
    5. The symbols of the marriage (the rings and such) have to be very expensive.

    It's bizarre that marriage is such a huge market and money thing now.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2017
  12. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Feb 18, 2017

    OMG, people these days are asking, "Will you be my bridesmaid?" now?!
    Oh brother! Never heard of it.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2017
  13. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Feb 18, 2017

    I know a young bride-to-be who is stressed over her bribe-the-person-to-be-in-the-wedding presents and how she is going to "pop the question" so I get to hear about her travails often. :fearscream:

    I'm going to have bite marks on my tongue before this wedding is over.
     
  14. ChildWhisperer

    ChildWhisperer Groupie

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    Feb 19, 2017

    OMG I completely agree. It's insane, and makes me NOT want to do any of those things! (And I won't)

    @Peregrin5 , the new thing nowadays is the bride comes up with a creative way to ask her bridesmaids if they want to be a bridesmaid. I think it's a waste of time and money!
     
  15. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    Feb 20, 2017

    My daughter recently got engaged and simply called her sister and friends and surprised them with the news of her engagement by asking them to be her bridesmaids. They were all so happy with the news that they never would have thought of needing a gift! She would have asked in person, but they are all scattered around.
     
  16. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Feb 20, 2017

    When I was asking my friends to be bridesmaids, I never once thought to 'propose' to them with any gifts. At the rehearsal dinner, however, I did gift them with small gifts as a thank you for being part of my special day.
     
  17. cupcakequeen

    cupcakequeen Comrade

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    Feb 20, 2017

    I sent cards to my bridesmaids asking them to be in the wedding, but only because a friend who does calligraphy/watercolor cards and was trying to get the word about her Etsy shop out offered to do them for free and I only had 4 bridesmaids! Otherwise I would have just called them...
     
  18. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    IF I were to ever have another child, my gender reveal would be AFTER THE BIRTH like the good old days. LOL
     
  19. ChildWhisperer

    ChildWhisperer Groupie

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    If you want to do gifts and proposals for your bridesmaids, that's cool, but the fact that it's demanded by the bridesmaid?! Especially by my own biological sister.
    Just thought that was super rude
     
  20. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    Yeah very rude! I'd take back my offer! ;)
     
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  21. cocobean

    cocobean Companion

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    Feb 20, 2017

    It's bizarre that your sister is demanding a bridesmaid proposal. My sister is getting married this year and I already knew I'd be a bridesmaid, she didn't even ask! Same when I got married, my two sisters and future SIL just knew they were my girls!
    Some "traditions" are just getting out of hand...
     
  22. waterfall

    waterfall Maven

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    I've only seen them in the past year or two. I blame pinterest for all of this stuff getting way over the top- totally agreed about the gender reveal parties and things like that. It's definitely rude to demand a "bridesmaid proposal."
     

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