So a lot of the boys in my class seem to have a crush on a girl. They wont leave her alone. Some are always trying to be near her. Others are just outright being mean to her. I have one student that will not stop tattling on her despite him being at the front and her at the back. Today I had a talk with my students about it but it didn't seem to do anything. I don't want to isolate her but I don't know what else to do.
This is definitely how you should approach the situation. Regardless of the reason behind it, bullying is bullying. And boys shouldn't have the chance to learn that bullying a girl is an acceptable way to show that you like her.
Your school likely (hopefully) has a specific consequence plan to follow when bullying or other negative choices occur. If so, you need to go to that next level/step on there. This is 100% on those bullying, not the person being bullied. Otherwise, it sounds as though there needs to be a student/teacher/parent conference (possibly with the principal, too), if the behaviors are not changing and they've had the opportunity to change.
If a student is bullying, then the students should be written-up, sent to office, and assigned detention. Suspension is also an option. In my classroom, the student would discuss the behavior with me during free time or with the behavior specialist. The reason.....that's a different story.
It might be a good idea to point out at the beginning of the year that people often tease/bully people they "like". The reason they're teasing in the first place is because they want the girl's (or boy's -- girls do this too) attention, but presumably don't want everyone in the class to know of their affection. If everyone will know, they'll be less likely to do it.
I am sorta in the same boat. I have one little girl who is very popular with the boys. She is a major tom boy and really doesn't like playing with the girls. In the beginning I told Mom that she should probably push her towards to girls. I could see little signs that it was going to get out of hand. And well about two weeks ago it did. My little girl was playing with some boys and they pulled her pants down while she was on the monkey bars. Of course her Dad was livid and the boys did get a punishment. I just feel like this little girl could remedy the situation by just going and playing with the girls. The boys are always wanting to touch her, be with her, play with her, be next to her and she does nothing to make them go away. I wouldn't call what they do bullying but it is certainly driving me crazy.
I don't know the situation, but I would definitely call it bullying. I would focus on correcting the behavior of the boys instead of telling the girl to play with other students.
I don't think it's an either/or. I think it's a teachable moment of problem solving strategies of what to do in that situation, but just as importantly (if not more importantly), that the boys realize that that is not okay and needs to stop.
Forcing anyone to go play with the correct gender is not a solution at all. Your example may not be gender identified yet in her own mind. She did nothing wrong by choosing activities that appeal to her. The focus should be correctly teaching respect for personal boundaries, without making the victim guilty for others lack of restraint or respect. Yes, I work with students who have gender identity issues. They don't choose this, but they shouldn't be victimized by this fact, or degraded by the fact that their gender issues are as easy as "go play with the girls".
Ugh so many red flags here. I would never tell a child they had to play with their gender only. I would also never justify bullying someone because "the person liked them." This is only promoting the "rape culture" that we see in our society. Boys need to learn to respect everyone, regardless of it they like them or not. And girls should feel safe in a school, regardless of if they are playing with girls or boys. It sounds like the boys need a lesson on respecting other peoples thoughts and feelings. Edit: I'm actually sick to my stomach thinking about how it was stated that the solution could be solved by the girl playing with only girls. This is teaching our boys that it is okay to make unwanted sexual advances towards girls because "they asked for it" by playing around boys.
What???? Sexual harassment is sexual harassment. Just because a guy has a crush on you doesn't change the rules. No still means no and you have the right to tell the guy to take a hike. I don't know of any state that would have laws so backward today where HR would be able to get away with saying such a thing. This is true for minors as well. A lawyer would love that one.
I am speaking from experience as well as knowledge of the law. I worked with someone who had a crush on an attractive lady that worked with us. She told him to leave her alone. He flirted with her again. The boss told him if he didn't leave her alone, he wouldn't have any choice but to fire him. He flirted with her again. I was there when the manager had him clean out his locker and escorted him from the building. Both individuals were in their early 20s. A crush doesn't change the rules.
You can hold a classroom discussion about respect, boundaries, and the importance of treating everyone with kindness. You can use age-appropriate examples and scenarios to help students understand these concepts better. Encourage them to share their thoughts and experiences.
