bossy aide & very low kids

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Ghost, Aug 10, 2008.

  1. Ghost

    Ghost Habitué

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    I met my aides yesterday. One has been with the school as a 1:1 for 2 years. The other one is new, like me. She is good (we had a parent meeting and she did great with the child while the other guy sat in the corner and brooded). The experienced one, a guy, is telling me how I should run my room--not in a mean way, but "this is what we did..." While I appreciate the insight on the kids, I've tried explaining to him that my teaching methods are different and I was hired to implement structured teaching. I can tell I will have problems with him. Example: I asked the two to each do 1 thing while I was in a case conference on Friday. Put my Bee books together and obtain gloves & sanitizer for the changing room. Well, the new girl put the bee books together and he went to the previous teacher's room and put up a hideous (in my opinion) bulletin board on a divider that the kids will destroy the first day. I had to find the gloves and disinfectant myself--at 6:00 pm after everyone was gone. I'm gonna have to be a be-otch, I know and I'm not looking forward to it.

    The other thing is, my students are very low. In fact this is the first time I've ever had a kiddo with no academic goals whatsoever.
    But it's a strange mix of low--two kids are working on identifying letters of their names, and another two are supposed to take turns/share without hitting, scratching, etc. I haven't even dug into the IEP's of the other 3 yet and school starts tomorrow! I guess I'm just whining. There aren't many solutions. Thanks for letting me whine.:angel:
     
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  3. michelleann27

    michelleann27 Cohort

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    All i can say is that i would be one in a heart beat. You will have your hands full. Good Luck.
     
  4. WaterfallLady

    WaterfallLady Enthusiast

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    I had a series of aides last year. The first was very bossy. However, I was brand new, and I had no idea what I was doing, so I am very glad she was bossy. However, since you are an experienced teacher, I bet that gets old quick. Possibly she thought she was helping? My next aide was too lazy and was very low herself, then the aide after that was perfect. I bet the aide will lay off once she sees you know what you are doing.
     
  5. Ms.Jasztal

    Ms.Jasztal Maven

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    Aug 10, 2008

    Let the new bossy aide know that you are an intelligent, strong teacher with your own methods of teaching that have worked. You also need to make sure that he does what he is supposed to do. I wouldn't be too pleased.
     
  6. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    Aug 10, 2008

    Your kids sound like mine... the wide variety of level... low to lower. What grade(s) are they?

    As for the "experienced" one. 2 years does not put the PRO in his paraPROfessional title. His input will be good on things you might not be sure about but as for running the room, that is your job... how you want things done, etc.

    Just kill him with kindness though. If you want him to do something, make it sappy sweet when you ask him. Don't give him a reason to make life heck for ya. You will be stuck with him more than likely for the whole year... and probably a few more years to come.

    NOW if the killing him with kindness doesn't work, then go in to B-patrol and let him know what's what. LOL If that doesn't work, go to the principal.

    GOOD LUCK!!!
     
  7. MandaNicole01

    MandaNicole01 Habitué

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    I have a similar problem...This is my first full year in this school and my aide has been there for years! She has already pulled the "this is what Mrs. Soandso did..., Where is the treasure box?Mrs. Soandso had one," etc. I simply told her I wasn't having a treasure box and we were doing things this way! She didn't say much about Mrs. Soandso after that! :) The other kinder teacher said my aide usually ran the room for the other teacher...so I guess she'll have to get use to a new sheriff in town! lol:) She's also a pack rat and I cleaned out the cabinets last week and threw so much stuff away! I hope the custodian throws it all away before my aide sees it and digs it out of the trash! I keep telling myself, this is my room and I'll store only what I need to teach my children! She has her own desk to store what she needs! Good luck! I can't imagine 2 aides! Do they have desks also?
     
  8. michelleann27

    michelleann27 Cohort

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    Wow i can not image going through that. i think i would rather not have an aide i rather do things myself any ways. I am the type that thinks i can only get it the way i want it and sometimes asking someone else they dont get how i want it and it never turns out. I am glad I teach the higher grades.
     
  9. mrs100

    mrs100 Comrade

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    Aug 10, 2008

    I had an aide last year that was EXTREMELY high maintenance. I kept a (secret) record of the things that were going on, and how I addressed her when she did something that was off a little. Having that exact list of words that she said, how I responded, and her reaction to that was a super helpful tool when the principal got involved. So my advice is to record whenever you need to!
     
  10. MandaNicole01

    MandaNicole01 Habitué

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    Yes! I'm that way too! This is my first full year (I was on infant bonding leave) with an aide. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and find myself doing my bulletin boards, writing my children's names on charts, etc. I'm seriously trying to make a list of things she can do that won't bother me not to do! So far I have running off papers and sorting/filing...I guess I have some control issues! lol
     
  11. MandaNicole01

    MandaNicole01 Habitué

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    Great idea! My sub last year has some problems with this aide and some of the ways she treated the children. (Her grandson was in the class and apparently this turned into a problem!) I pretend I don't know anything that happened while I was gone but I know enough to keep a watchful eye. I will have to keep a log! Thanks for the advice.

    Sorry if I hijacked this thread!:blush:
     
  12. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Aug 10, 2008

    I have a wonderful aide who is fully capable of running the classroom my way even when I am not there. A few years a go, though, my aide could not turn on a light switch without assistance and I could never leave her alone with the children.
     
  13. Ghost

    Ghost Habitué

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    I like the idea of killing him with kindness first. I know that Mrs. Last Year couldn't stand up to him...she's too wishy-washy, even when she needs to be firm. I will try that. I have told him that I do things differently that Mrs. Last Year and that we discussed what needed to happen...like I am NOT going to borrow baby toys for the one child. Oh and specialpreschool, it's 2/3 but can go up to 5th grade. Mentally, 24 months to about kindergarten or so.
     
  14. Ghost

    Ghost Habitué

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    Hijack away! I don't mind....I need to get a log ready too.:hugs:
     
  15. Chevygirl97

    Chevygirl97 Companion

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    I had an aide that did the "BUT Mrs. did it like THIS last year!" and "But I was in charge of that last year!" I kept a record too...sent emails to the P every day it seemed about things that were happening. She ended up quitting (said it wasn't b/c of me..yeah right.) Keep strong, be professional and it will work itself out. Thank goodness I never got a replacement.
     
  16. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    Ah, you have the next class up from me then. Yeah, some of ours in the class like that at my school are about the same level as yours... ABC's to basics. I think hers go K-6 but the 6th grade ones don't really look like 6th graders.
     
  17. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    I had one of those aides last year and she DID NOT change, even with intervention from the principal and assistant principal. She totally freaked out over my changing a bulletin board. She wanted her own bulletin board (which I finally gave in to) but left the same stuff up all year. She ran off the teacher before me and my other aide quit at the end of the year because she could not work with her again after 1.5 years. She wanted to be a part of everything and I mean everything!! She didn't want me to use push pins in the bulletin board because one year she had a student pick them off. She didn't want the students to do independent reading because they were still learning how to read?! In the end, I had to make it look like I was letting her give the final okay before I did something. It took me until January to figure her out and what I can do to make changes without her not talking to me for weeks.

    To top things off, my principal wrote in my eval. that I needed to be a team player!!! I was so p*ssed. My aide wouldn't listen to the admin. and they didn't do anything about it, what makes her think that she would listen to me!
     
  18. runnerss

    runnerss Comrade

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    Totally agree. This is my first bit of advice for anyone who is having problems with someone else in the school.
     
  19. runnerss

    runnerss Comrade

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    Wow, that stinks. :eek:hmy: I would be super mad at this. She had no right to act like this:down:
     
  20. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    All I want to add is you can tell your aides in a nice way that although you appreciate there help if you need it you will ask kinda thing. Don't make them feel like you don't need there help and could do it by yourself. I am sure you are not meaning to imply that, but it could come across as hurtful to there feelings. I also want to add that there is an aide in one class that I sub in a lot and she gets away with everything since she is the P's Goddaughter.
     
  21. SuzieQ

    SuzieQ Companion

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    Aug 11, 2008

    My hubby is a parapro for the county. He is getting a new teacher this year because his old teacher just retired. I advised him not to tell the new teacher how so and so teacher use to do it in the past. But the other aide he works with now is sooo bossy. She bossed him around while the teacher was too nice to say anything. My advice is to set the tone right away. It is easier to start off strict then be more easy going than the other way around. You are in charge and a bossy aide will only make it harder. I'm not saying be mean but just let them now that you will be making the decisions. Listen to their advice and wisdom. They may now the kids better but you have to trust your own instinct and judgement.Oh yeah and like the other posters mentioned document, document, document!
     

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