Birthday Parties

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by JTeach619, Sep 21, 2008.

  1. JTeach619

    JTeach619 Companion

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    Sep 21, 2008

    Hi ladies! I have an ethical question to ask. One of my third graders invited me to her birthday party. She really really wants me to go however, I'm not sure if it would be ethical. If I go to her party, I would have to bring her a gift and wouldn't that commit me to buying a gift for ALL of my students when it's their birthday? Please let me know. I don't know what to do!! :dizzy:
     
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  3. strepsils

    strepsils Companion

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    I personally find that an odd concept. I think I would rather celebrate their birthday in class in the same way you would celebrate any other child's.
     
  4. cMcD

    cMcD Groupie

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    I wouldn't go. Then you'll be invited to other students' birthdays. What if you can't go to one of those, and they get upset?

    I would either explain to her that I could not go because teachers cannot do that OR I would say that I have a prior commitment. Ask her to bring in pictures from the party to share with you instead.
     
  5. MissFroggy

    MissFroggy Aficionado

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    I would go. If I was invited, that is a nice thing. It doesn't mean you will be invited to every birthday and it doesn't mean you have to give her a big gift. Just do a small thing.

    I was invited to a b-day and it didn't result in going to more...
     
  6. RainStorm

    RainStorm Phenom

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    If you want to go -- go! If you don't want to go, say it is your policy to not go to student birthday parties. If you do go, a small gift is in order. You don't have to give a gift to every child in your class because of this. Only give a small gift if you go to another child's party. This is being consistent.

    I never used to go, but last year I did. I had a student from South America, and it is a huge tradition from her native country for the teacher to be the special guest. It was obviously very important to her to and her family, so I went.

    The decision is yours. Do what makes you comfortable.

    I decided if I another student asked, I would go as well, but it was my decision.
     
  7. peggy27

    peggy27 Cohort

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    I just got asked to a student's baptism/confirmation. I didn't go, mainly because I live 30 miles from where my school is and didn't want to drive. I did give her a card and a inexpensive present so she knew I was thinking of her.
     
  8. mom2ohc

    mom2ohc Habitué

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    I would not go to a student birthday. It is a nice gesture - however if another student asks you and you can NOT go, then that student will feel badly.

    It just opens you up to too much - I think as teachers we have to draw the line between being a child's friend and their teacher. Besides, when you go, then the parents start talking about school and their child, and it just opens up a can of worms.
     
  9. trayums

    trayums Enthusiast

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    I would not go either. You are an authority figure in your students life and I just don't think befriending the kids on a personal level is professional.
     
  10. New3rdTeacher

    New3rdTeacher Comrade

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    I have been invited and I chose not to go but I just told my stduent that I was busy but thanks for inviting me. Simple and no hard feelings
     
  11. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    I've been invited to a few parties and did a 'fly by'...didn't bring a gift - I figured my coming to the party was a big enough gesture (it is) and the parents/kids appreciated it...
     
  12. sevenplus

    sevenplus Connoisseur

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    When I taught preschool many years ago I went to two parties. I did not bring a gift to either one.

    A couple of years ago I was invited to a teacher's son's party. He was in my class. I wanted to go, but declined. I knew he'd talk about my being there and I just didn't want to start an onslaught of birthday party invites. I'd feel obligated to go to more.
     
  13. JTeach619

    JTeach619 Companion

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    Yeah, I agree with most of you. I am just going to tell her that I'm very busy and cannot attend. I don't want to have to commit myself to an array of birthday/religious events if I go to this one party. Thanks for the input!!
     
  14. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    My cooperating teacher would make it a point to go to a game of each of the kids in the class who played a sport. I went to a couple as well. This is easy because a lot of times multiple students are playing- and you don't have to socialize much.

    I would not go to a birthday. Mainly because I would feel awkward- and I live an hour from my school ;)
     
  15. Maryhf

    Maryhf Connoisseur

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    When I taught 4th grade I did go to a party for a student. I helped the mother walk all the girls down the block from the school to the pizza shop and stayed for a little while. I had gotten really close to the girl and had made some home visits while she was recovering from brain surgery. Ordinarily, I don't think I would go though. In this case, I took several paperbacks from Scholastic points as my gift.
     
  16. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    I have a birthday box in class filled with new Scholastic books; when it is someone's birthday, they get to choose a book to keep. I have gotten many birthday invitations, but I never go. And for the exact reason you stated...if I go to one, I will have to go to all of them.
     
  17. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    I have been invited, but I always tell them "Let me know when it is and I'll see if I can come." But, I can never go! I practically have no life outside of school already, I do not want to spend my free time mingling with students and parents!!

    It is sweet to be invited - they are so dear to want to include their teacher! But I don't ever go. I always give each student a card and a candy or a small gift on their birthday at school - every student gets the exact same present. That is my way of celebrating.

    I can see why Maryf would go to the party - a child recovering from brain surgery! That is an exception to the rule!
     
  18. JTeach619

    JTeach619 Companion

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    Yeah I make them paper bags that have a little sign they wear for the day, a birthday pencil, a home learning pass, and a little certifcate. Each of them get one of those on their desk the day we celebrate their birthday. I thought I was being mean in considering not going to the party but I see that many people have the same concerns I have about attending a student's party!

    On a completely different note, did they add new smilies to the boards? Because I see some that I think are absolutely hilarious :beatdeadhorse::naughty::dunno:
     
  19. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    I noticed them too! At first, I thought the "cow" one was pretty bad until I held the cursor to the pic and it read...beat a dead horse. ok; I get it! LOL
     

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