Belly Button Piercing

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by JustMe, Aug 5, 2010.

  1. GoehringTeaches

    GoehringTeaches Comrade

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    My husband and I go round for round on the infant ear piercing. We do, however, agree on being 18 for piercings and tattoos. I went away to college and got my belly button pierced (recently took it out for pregnancy and have put it back in now-with the linea negra, it's not so cute anymore!) I also pierced my tongue. That was not something they liked at all. They actually reimbursed me for the piercing and paid me $20 profit to take it out. I guess I really wanted the money because I took it out! I didn't get my first tattoo until like 24. I finally found a place on my body that wouldn't hurt too much and would not be visible unless in a bikini (my upper thighs) I never have to worry about kids at school seeing it!
     
  2. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    I am in agreement with you, terp. That's gonna be our rule, and I have 3 girls. No way, no how.
     
  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Each of my ears is pierced once. I got them for Confirmation in 6th grade.

    I have 2 tattoos: each is a tiny little dot, placed there by the radiologists on Christmas Eve so they could correctlly aim the radiation at the tumor.

    I'm done.

    Julia got her ears pierced for 1st Communion (2nd grade). If Kira can get up her courage, she can get them then or any time afterwards.

    But anything more than that is going to wait at least a decade.
     
  4. teacher333

    teacher333 Devotee

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    Age 18, at the same time she got a tattoo....a mother's dream!
     
  5. TeacherApr

    TeacherApr Groupie

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    I like this :thumb:and it would be exactly what I would say (same with if she was asking for a tattoo or any other piercing besides ears)

    edit: I should add that assuming she was out of the house at 18. If I was funding her college I would tell her she needs to wait and if she didn't I would take away her college fund. I'm pretty strict.
     
  6. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    I know that kids will not always follow our rules...but I think that the rules we make show our kids what our values are and what we deem important and acceptable. I know teenagers drink, have sex and experiment with drugs. I KNOW this happens...but I am still going to make rules against it for my kids. Yes, my kids will probably do some of those things (let's hope not all), but if I don't let them know how I feel about it, I'm not doing my job as a parent in teaching them my moral and ethical code.

    The same goes for tattoos. Will one of my three kids sneak and get a tattoo before they are out of my house? Maybe. Does that mean I shouldn't tell them not to?? HECK, NO!
     
  7. TeacherApr

    TeacherApr Groupie

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    exactly! Just become "some" do it doesn't mean we need to give up and not do anything about the topic. I feel if your kids truly respect you they will not do anything you disapprove of. (I should say kids not respecting parents may/may NOT have to do with the parent..)
     
  8. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I'm not sure that this paragon of a child actually exists. Most certainly, he or she does not live in my house.

    OH, I have rules, and plenty of them. I'm pretty sure that my 3 kids are the only ones on the block with intimate knowledge of just how a grounding works. And they've written letters of apology, and have lost their allowance. All for doing things we've disproved of.

    And at ages 7, 10, and 12, I'm pretty sure we have a long way to go before their values totally allign with ours.

    But I plan to fight the good fight until then.
     
  9. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    Alice, that's all you can do - and that's really our job as parents, isn't it? I just wish that all parents kept up that fight. I see too many (especially as the kids reach middle school) that fall into the "well, they're going to do it anyway" camp. So they give up the fight. And the kids do whatever they want, pretty much.
     
  10. clarnet73

    clarnet73 Moderator

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    not on topic... but twice now I have transposed the beginning of JustMe's name and read the thread title as "jelly button piercing." I then sat there trying to figure out what hte heck a jelly button is, and why someone would want to pierce it. *shakes head*
     
  11. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    I'm just curious-once your child turns 18, why do you feel you have a say in their appearance? I guess I don't see the difference between a belly button piercing and a stylish haircut. You can take the piercing out. You can grow the hair out. Even the tattoo-it's their skin. I'm really curious why as a parent you would think that you have a right to exercise that much control over your child, even if they are living at home?

    This is an honest question. I know I don't have kids, but I really don't see myself even wanting to tell them what to do with themselves at 18. I know my parents didn't say a word about what I did except that I couldn't dye my hair in their shower because I was staining the grout pink.... I guess I see having a child as a chance to bring a child into the world and show them everything it has to offer, inspire them to creativity and give them the tools they need to achieve their dreams. No where in those reasons to have a child is 'tell child how to dress and what they can and can't do with their appearance'. I feel that ends when the child starts dressing themselves...

    I understand children do well with boundaries. But I think as parents you can choose your battles, and this just doesn't seem like one worth fighting for any reason.
     
  12. maya5250

    maya5250 Comrade

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    Aug 7, 2010

    I completely agree that kids need rules and boundaries. But I think that when the children are 18 and over, I believe that they should be able to make choices about their own body even if they are living under their parents' house. Nothing wrong with a parent's input in their grown child's decisions about piercings and tattoos. Though, I think by age 18, they know what a parent's feelings about piercings and tattoos.


    I guess that I'm just visualizing a college-aged student living at home and wanting a tattoo but can't get it because they are living at home (even though they are considered an adult). I guess it is just my very independent part of my personality.



    But this is just me and my opinion. Different people, different strokes.......:)


    :thumb:
     
  13. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    judging from the posts here, I'd say you were in the minority. :D

    I'm curious; how old is your daughter and what has she been wanting to get?
     
  14. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    I was living at home with my mom when I got a tattoo. I was working and paying for everything but tuition. (My mom and dad split tuition per their divorce agreement...) I had moved away for three years, then moved in with my mom and stepdad. My mom would not have stopped me from getting a tattoo, she did comment that she didn't think I'd go through with it. Mine is a butterfly and two daisies, on my right side where it is now only ever seen my husband. (At the time, I was thinner and living near a beach, so it was seen by a few more people...) It didn't even show in the swimsuit I wore to the beach this year. It reminds me of my two favorite quotes: "Bloom where you are planted" and "Love is like a butterfly: it goes where it pleases, and it pleases where it goes." My mom likes it. Now, had I gotten a skull and crossbones on my arm, probably not so much.
     
  15. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Aug 7, 2010

    two responses:

    1. I've been in the minority here on a number of issues, from what consittutes "professional dress" to how to begin a school year. I can't speak for terptoteacher, but that doesn't bother me in the slightest, as long as my minority opinion is shown the same respect I show the majority opinion.

    2. Teachers are famous for their tendency to be somewhat liberal. In many areas, that tendency does not match the values of the surrounding community.
     
  16. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    Nope, to me "adult" isn't an age. Being an adult has to do with independence. I don't intend to control my 18 year olds to the same extent that I do my kids when they are elementary school aged, middle school aged, or even high school aged...but until that kid pays his/her own way, I have input into their decisions. Note that I didn't say that I can make their decisions or that they have to abide by my rules...but I have input. If my kids are living at home at age 30, I think I still have the right to make requests of them and expect certain levels of decorum and behavior while they were in my house. Because it is MY house. And if we disagree so much on what the rules of the house should be, it's probably time for the kid to find his/her own living quarters...a natural part of growing up.

    If they were guests in someone else's home who, for example, didn't allow swearing, they wouldn't swear because it was a respect issue. If they are living with me, I deserve the same respect...or at least I deserve the right to ask for that respect, whether I receive it or not.

    Paying your own way except for tuition is not independent, if you ask me. Tuition is expensive. And by paying your own way, were you considering the food your parents paid for, the rent, the electricity and cable bill, etc? Part of the whole tattoo issue is that it's expensive...and if a kid can't pay for his/her own college but has $100 to shell out for a tattoo...that would irk me. Put that money toward your college, kid!

    Now, you all probably think I'm anti-tattoo...guess what, I'm not and I even want one (see other thread). It's more about family rules, respect and adhering to expectations. A tat on my kid at 18 wouldn't freak me out...unless I'd asked that kid not to get one for a specific reason (say they were in a cousin's wedding in a month and got one in a very prominent spot, for instance...)
     
  17. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    I don't have kids yet so I really can't say how I would handle things. I think it would have to depend on the maturity and responsibility of my child. I have noticed that young girls who have naval piercings, tattoos, etc. seem to dress in a way that shows these things off. Some might say this type of clothing is more provocative and revealing (usually not appropriate clothing for school) but that is the parents' call.

    It was a tradition in my family for young girls (I was 2, my cousins were younger) to have their ears pierced. My grandmother pierced my ears and I had no trouble with them in 30+ years. I would probably allow my daughter to get hers pierced at a young age but nothing else until she is old enough to make her own decisions (I'd say 18 unless she showed remarkable maturity, but since I don't have one yet I can't say!).
     
  18. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    With the exception of the part about actually wanting a tattoo, I agree with every word.

    Being independent means you're not relying on mom and dad for food, shelter, tuition or any other financial assistance. A check for your birthday? That's a nice gift, but not something you're counting on to pay the electric bill.

    But being home isn't being independant.

    I lived in my parent's home until I got married. And as long as it was their home, I abided by their rules.
     
  19. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    I guess I just don't see getting a piercing as the same thing as putting your dishes in the dishwasher and turning lights out when you leave. Those are things you do when you live at home because they are rules of the house. Getting a tattoo or piercing? That's the same as telling someone what brand of underwear to wear-it has no effect on anyone else in the house.

    And when I lived at home, it wasn't because I couldn't afford to live on my own. I suppose if you were worried about your child not having money, there are ways to work with them on a budget. It's just the issue of telling someone else what they can and can't do with their body that bothers me. I'm not trying to being difficult-just trying to understand the logic behind it.
     
  20. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    I am in the minority too and I don't mind that one bit. :D At school, I don't go with the flow and it bothers those who love to control and try to control.
     
  21. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    Jem, would you have any trouble telling your 10 year old what they should do with their body? Or a 15 year old? Why does turning 18 magically mean that a person is mature enough to make a decision that can affect the rest of his/her life? To me, one of the markers of being mature enough to control those sorts of decisions is that you are on your own. That may happen at different ages for different people. I know 19 year olds that are well more mature than 25 year olds....it's not about age. It's about being able to handle the responsibility that comes with making such large decisions (and a tattoo CAN be a huge decision...and one that many people later regret). If a person is responsible enough to manage his/her life independently, then that person should be living independently and can make such decisions without considering parental input. That can happen at different ages for different people...for some it may not happen until 25 or older.

    Turning out lights when you leave is not even in the same realm here because it doesn't reflect values and morals. Tattooing and piercing does. Swearing, drinking, drugs, unmarried sex - all of those things do, too. Each family has to have it's own expectations on those things and it is the parents' job to communicate those expectations (and hence, the values that matter in the family) to their children by setting standards. If swearing is ok in your household, that's fine. The young adults can swear. If it's not, they should refrain in front of the grown-ups or it shows a lack of respect. I think tattoos and piercings fall into the same category. If it's ok in your household (at whatever age you deem it to be ok, whether that be 18, or older, or younger), then it's fine. Otherwise, everyone living in the household should refrain until they no longer live in the household.

    It's called collective responsibility and expectations.
     
  22. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    There's LOTS of things I don't want my kids doing 'with their bodies'. My older son has a tattoo he got when he was 21 (and has since added 2 more). When he got them, we discussed that his chosen profession (accounting and finance) tend to be quite conservative kinds of jobs so that tattoo placement should be considered. We aren't anti-tattoo but decided that having one was an 'adult' decision. His tattoos are not large, are placed so that they are not seen while he is dressed for work, and each one represents something meaningful to him. Yes, in some aspects age 18 is an 'adult' but on this one it was a family decision that tattooing should wait until age 21. Said son is living at home while working as an accountant and applying to grad school and paying his own bills but there are still some 'adult behaviors' and choices he could make with his body that just aren't going to be happening under this roof. It's about respect for family 'rules' and expectations.
     
  23. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    My job as parent is NOT just to ensure that the dishes make it into the sink. (No dishwasher here.) On the list of my responsibilities as a parent, that's so far down it really doesn't even approach the list.

    Many of my responsibilities involve telling my kids what to do with their bodies. So we talk about drugs and cigarettes and booze ,and why they're not good for their bodies and about how they're not allowed. And we talk about modesty, and about respect for your body. And we talk about "privacy spaces" and about how no one other than mom, dad, or the doctor is allowed to see those parts of your body. I take my kids for their vaccinations, to ensure that those bodies stay safe from dangerous diseases, and to the dentist to ensure the health of that part of their bodies. They have a bedtime to ensure adequate rest. They can't have ice cream for breakfast (most days at least) because it's not healthy.

    Julia just left to go on a friend's boat. I made sure she had a life jacket appropriate for her weight, and that she was slathered in sun block. I also know the parents well and trust their judgement. All in an effort to make sure my daughter's body is safeguarded.

    My job as mom is NOT about having a clean house (thank God!) It's about raising my kids to the best of my ability. And, yes, that most certainly means telling them what they may and may not do with their bodies. Sure, the exact rules change as kids grow. But I don't understand how someone magically gains maturity at midnight on the day of his or her 18th birthday. I've taught a LOT of 18 year old seniors for whom "maturity" was NOT exactly a hallmark of their character.
     
  24. mdawson

    mdawson Rookie

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    Okay, I'm posting my response based on my experiences and more from a medical standpoint. I've had my tongue, belly button, and nose pierced. My best friend also had her belly button pierced. She took the ring out after about a year and the hole still hasn't closed. She gets infections in it all the time and has to flush it out weekly. I had my tongue pierced for four years before I decided to take it out. The ball of the ring rubbed away the gum behind my bottom two front teeth. I've had gum grafts done to try and correct it, but they haven't really taken. It's cost me a lot of money to try and have this problem corrected. I also got a tattoo when I was 18. It was on the back of my left hand and it was really ugly. I was unable to get hired for several jobs because of it. I had 7 laser treatments to remove it, but it got so infected after each treatment that I had to take a round of antibiotics after each treatment. I was left with a painfully raised scar. I was sent to see a plastic surgeon who then cut out that section of skin and sewed me back together. Now, I would like to think that had I known any of this at the lovely age of 18, I wouldn't have done any of it. I don't judge those who chose to, but it's caused me a lot of problems. All the dentists, doctors and surgeons and so on all reassured me that my complications were normal.
     
  25. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Thank you, Madison. I appreciate your post...because for the most part, all one hears about is how wonderful it is to have a tat, tongue ring, etc...and we don't hear from those who have experienced the "downside" of having the piercings, colorings, etc...

    I guess I don't understand why, at least for myself, anyone would want to color their body, make holes in it, etc...and I'm truly not being a smart-aleck about it. I just don't understand why anyone would want that.
    Oh! And if you have any of them; I would still like you...unless, you were some type of rude, sick, person.
    :hugs:
    PS - this has been a very good thread. And I think it's nice that no-one has gotten ugly about anything.
    :love:
     
  26. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    That all depends. My 21 year old is living at home while she attends nursing school and what she does with her body does affect others in our household. My DH and I are still raising a 16 year old and a 9 year old (not to mention our 18 year old who also lives at home).

    As the oldest, all of our children look to our 21 year old as an example of how to live either responsibly or irresponsibly. How she treats her body...whether she is partying, tattooing, piercing, etc., directly affects the job we are doing with our other children.
     
  27. TeacherApr

    TeacherApr Groupie

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    Not to mention, tattooing a CHILD is illegal and I feel it's in pretty poor taste for a parent to "give permission" to allow that to happen.
     
  28. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    It's not illegal with parent permission. There are a lot of things it's not legal to do without parent permission (piercing ears, etc.) In many cultures tattoos and piercing have a very different significance. Many of my students have tattoos (in my opinion they are not all tasteful, but many of them are) in memory of loved ones or in honor of special events and people in their lives. This is valued in their culture.

    When I was in high school, Indian students were allowed to have nose piercing because it was symbolic culturally and religiously to them.

    Also in high school, I had a friend whose (great?) grandmother died in the Holocaust. They had a record of her number, and he had it tattooed on his upper arm, with a Star of David at the end. I don't think that's in poor taste.

    I wouldn't allow a young child of mine to get a tattoo, but if my high-school aged daughter or son wanted something small and tasteful, I'd have them draw a picture of it and carry it around for a year. If they still wanted that same thing, the exact same thing, and wanted to get it somewhere on their body not immediately noticeable, and could pay for it on their own with money they earned, I would definitely consider allowing it, depending on the maturity level of the child.
     
  29. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    A slight hijack on the issue of tongue rings:

    The ovewhelming number of high school kids know that ONE reason to get a tongue ring is to give your partner more pleasure during oral sex.

    So it doesn't exist in a vacuum; one issue leads into another.
     
  30. teacher333

    teacher333 Devotee

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    I agree...there are many 18-year-olds who are not mature enough to make certain decisions, but then there is the law that says 18 is an adult, and you as the parent is no longer responsible for what they do.
     
  31. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    That's the LAW. So, legally, you also don't have to provide them with room and board. Or provide for their education.

    We're talking about parenting from a personal, not a legal standpoint.
     
  32. yearroundteach

    yearroundteach Companion

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    Aug 14, 2010

    I'll preface this post by saying I do not have any children yet. :)

    10: no
    12: no
    16: My answer would be yes because this is the age my dad took me to get my belly button pierced. However, I would talk to my daughter about my own experience honestly. If she was active in sports like I was, I would explain the difficulties I encountered trying to give my all at a pom practice the day I had it pierced, pitch a softball game the day after, and dance at a game the following day. Not to mention having to take it out for every pom competition and not being able to get it back in after two of them. NOT fun! :eek:hmy: I would also let her know that mine got infected 3times and that it was repierced after the above mentioned times I couldn't get it back in. After explaining all that I would also be honest and say that I do not regret getting my belly button ring. I loved it 13 years ago when I got it and still love it now.

    As far as tattoos, I would ask my child to wait until 18 just like I did. However, I would assume I will have quite a few discussion about tattoos with them at a much earlier age since I have one that is visible at least 90% of the time in my home and 50% outside of my home (depending on if I wear a tank top or not). I also have another that is visible in a bathing suit. As my children grow up and ask about these things I will be just as honest about them as I would be my belly button piercing. I would discuss how I love having them but that I wish that I'd weighed the decision of exactly what to get much more heavily for my first tattoo. In face I've been planning a cover up and/or extension of that tattoo and by the time I figure out exactly what I want, I may have children around who'll actually see me get it and realize what happens if you don't choose wisely and take your time. I do not hate or even strongly dislike either of my tattoos. I just think I acted a little too quickly for my first (probably because it was behind my mom's back and I was most likely afraid she was going to come busting through the door... my mom was quite the detective in my teenage years. :wub: For good reason as I was a bit of a handful) If after a reminder of all this information, my 18 year old still wants a tattoo I'll tell them to go for it. With their own money of course.

    The issues of nose, eyebrow, and other facial piercings are something I have never really thought of. My feelings above are easy because I’ve lived the experience and also because they are much easier to hide. I do know I wouldn't let my child get any type of piercing (except ears) before age 16 so I have 17+ years to figure out my stance on these things! :cool:
     
  33. teacher333

    teacher333 Devotee

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    Aug 14, 2010

    It's all about choosing your battles - whether your kids are 2, 12 or 22.
     

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