Being set-up

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by John Lee, Jul 27, 2016.

  1. John Lee

    John Lee Groupie

    Dec 4, 2009
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    Jul 27, 2016

    I'm not a fan of set-ups. In my experience, people don't set you up because they think you'd hit it off; they set you up with someone because you both happen to be single at the time. In this case, a parent at my school has been trying to set me up with her sister (for a while now). I don't know her sister... I'm sure she's nice. But again, I just don't like set ups. Never particularly compatible, too much pressure... bottom line, I don't feel compelled (i.e. as if I actually was attracted to someone). So what can I say? What's a good excuse, lie or not. I don't want to come off like I conceited or think I'm too good or anything.
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2016
  3. miss-m

    miss-m Devotee

    Oct 25, 2014
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    Jul 27, 2016

    I'd say go for it; get coffee or brunch or do something else time sensitive; make a plan for shortly after the date so you have a valid reason to leave (and an excuse to leave early if it's not going well).
    Otherwise just be honest with the person trying to set you up and tell them you're not interested in going on a blind date. *shrugs*

    I'm probably biased though, because I wish people WOULD set me up with people!
    smalltowngal likes this.
  4. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

    Feb 4, 2010
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    Jul 27, 2016

    You could say that just as you would never date a parent from the school, you'd prefer not date someone that's related to them, either.
    Luv2TeachInTX likes this.
  5. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

    Jul 7, 2005
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    Jul 27, 2016

    My late husband and I met on a blind date. About six weeks later, we were engaged. :heart::heart::heart::heart:

    But if you don't want to go, just say you aren't interested, but thanks for the thought.
    cocobean likes this.
  6. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

    Sep 16, 2010
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    Jul 27, 2016

    I agree with miss-m.

    I have a different opinion about when people set you up with someone else. It is usually because you are both great people in their eyes, and they can see that there might be potential for interest. The funny thing about relationships is that you can be attracted to someone you have nothing in common with or you can have no attraction with someone you hit it off well with but platonically. You don't know until you really meet them. So, it might seem that people set you up but do it only because you are both single or it could be that they know, you just never know.

    If you just aren't interested in the idea of a relationship, just tell her you are not interested in going on a blind date. You don't need an excuse. If she persists, say thank you for the thought, but please don't ask again because my answer will not change.

    Finding someone you hit it off with is hit or miss. Going on a blind date (other than the lack of spontaneity of the meeting) is really no different than meeting someone at any other function.
    DizneeTeachR likes this.
  7. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

    Jan 2, 2007
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    Aug 4, 2016

    I'm in the opposite boat. I would love to be set up with someone by a friend/family member because those are the people that know me best. I'd be a little hesitant to be set up by a parent of a student, but then again, you just never know so I'd at least go out and see what happens!
  8. Backroads

    Backroads Aficionado

    Apr 23, 2010
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    Aug 4, 2016

    I never minded it. It was a way to meet people.

    Here's how I met my husband:

    I was roommates with his best friend in college. One Thanksgiving we were driving down, and I dropped her off at her place, where her best friend was. He apparently thought I was cute and pestered her for my number. She told him no way, he couldn't date her roommates.

    Anywho, fast forward a few years. I date around, he gets married, gets divorced, careers happen.

    My roommate, who had a bad engagement and was thus shy with dating, met a guy and wanted a double date. Her friend was back in the dating pool, I was single, she figured she would have us go on a double date with her simply so she could dare go on a date herself.

    Now we're married with two kids and are thinking about getting a dog.

    Set-ups, even if they are for no other reason than a set up, can work.

    In your situation, if you don't like set-ups, just say it. It can be done politely.

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