Being a Celibate kindergarten teacher and dating. Please Help

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by TeacherCuriousExplore, Mar 27, 2018.

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  1. TeacherCuriousExplore

    TeacherCuriousExplore Cohort

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    So lately I have been preparing to take the teacher examination, saving money, working, and getting prepared to teach Kindergarten in August. In the midst of all of this, I still stay partly active on my dating profiles mainly whenever I receive a message I log on and see who it is. Well, I thought I connected with this guy until I met him in person. He kept pestering me about sex and so many times and coming to my place. I met him in public a place, and I did not like him. For one, he is 24 but looks 18, and secondly, he has feminine characteristics.

    Once I left meeting him, I deleted his number and did not text him back. I am ranting because I wish to have someone on the same page but i find it is difficult. I am a 25 going on 26 with a somewhat stable life. I take care of my needs and live independently. I find it difficult to find a guy with a decent job, that's interesting, and not looking for sex. I am trying not to let all of this distract me from preparing for kindergarten and studying for the teacher exam.

    I do not understand most of these men. I am also afraid of becoming close to fear that the guy I meet may overcrowd my space like my ex-fiance did. I enjoy living alone and being single but I still long for a good guy that I can one day call my own
     
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  3. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Mar 27, 2018

    This topic seems more appropriate for a different type of forum.
     
  4. TeacherCuriousExplore

    TeacherCuriousExplore Cohort

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    Ok thanks
     
  5. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Phenom

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    :yeahthat:

    :eek:
     
  6. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    I don't see that it is necessarily an inappropriate topic for the Teacher Time Out post. However, I'm not sure I get the connection between dating and studying for your exam.

    Maybe you need to take a break until you think about what you really want.

    After my divorce I waited a couple of years before getting into the dating world. I had a whole lot of single and married life under my belt, so I knew exactly what I was and wasn't going to accept in a relationship. Period.
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2018
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  7. Hokiegrad1993

    Hokiegrad1993 Comrade

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    I agree.
     
  8. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    I also suggest avoiding relationships at this time. You have a lot on your plate. You are getting your life back together. You are preparing for testing. You are working on a healthy body and mind. Keep your focus on becoming a better you. Eventually the rest will come, but you must be strong and secure before a relationship can really be on equal terms.
     
  9. pommom

    pommom Comrade

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    You should go on a Christian dating site. Men who put God 1st in their life will not pressure you for sex.
     
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  10. shoreline02

    shoreline02 Cohort

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    I've heard the opposite of "Christian" dating sites from numerous people.
     
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  11. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    One of my friends met her EX on a Christian dating site. He was a major jerk.

    I met my EX at church. He was also a jerk. I met my DH on Plenty of Fish. He's amazing.
     
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  12. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Focus on getting your life together, Curious teach. You have had a difficult run with men, family, finances, jobs. You need time to regroup.
     
  13. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    I also say to just stay away fro dating for a while. It looks like you have a lot to deal with. Surround yourself with positive people, friends (male or female) who will lift you up, support you and you can learn from in some kind of way and you'll be much better off.
    When you have your life together and ready for someone, then start dating. As far as men pressuring you for sex, it's easy: as soon as you see a red flag, stop talking to them. No men should bring up the topic or pressure you, or insist that you go to his house and you two go to your house. A decent man with good intentions will respect your wishes, and if they don't, stop seeing them immediately. This part is actually quite simple.
     
  14. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Don't be in such a rush to get back into a relationship; focus on getting all of the other pieces of your life into place.
     
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  15. TeacherCuriousExplore

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    Thanks everyone
     
  16. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Honey, you’ve got to stop. Now is not the time for dating drama. Focus on getting yourself in gear.
     
  17. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    You've been given the same advice 100 times. Stop worrying about men and focus on getting your life together. You have too much going on right now. Stay away from dating sites. They will suck up too much of your time when you need to be worried about more important things. The next time you want to start a new topic make sure it doesn't include anything about MEN (until the year 2020 or so!).
     
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  18. Ms. I

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    From the men I see out there when I'm out & about, there's definitely not much to choose from. I'm sure I'd be much happier being alone than date many of them! Don't be afraid to be alone for a length of time. You know that other saying, "Good things come to those who wait."
     
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  19. TeacherCuriousExplore

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    Hey everyone here is an update. Strangely, I and this guy is still talking and have become intimate. I got to know him better and he seems very nice. We both agreed to take things slow and not rush anything because I am still busy with life. He's not overbearing nor does he pester anymore. I like him and we are both seeing how things will go.
     
  20. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Groupie

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    And familiarly, you have ignored all of the sage advice you have been given.
     
  21. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    So, you are still talking to this guy and he seems nice...so you choose to get intimate?
    I have heard that Jack the Ripper seemed nice to women around him, too.
     
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  22. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Phenom

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    It’s rinse, lather, and repeat, except there seems to be a never-ending supply of shampoo and conditioner...
     
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  23. TeacherCuriousExplore

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    No seriously, I misjudged him but I am getting to know him and he's a genuine person.
     
  24. pommom

    pommom Comrade

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    Being intimate is not taking things slow at all. You are giving your body fully to a fling. That is a big deal.
    Your details about your relationship status is an odd thing to post on a teacher board.
     
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  25. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Have become intimate and taking it slow. Oxymoron?
     
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  26. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

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    Not sure why you are oversharing, but you received, and ignored good advice.
    Best wishes. Your first impression of someone is generally right, so I hope your were wrong about your first impression.
     
  27. MaleTeacher

    MaleTeacher Rookie

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    I'm happy for you. Hopefully this time he's a keeper! Remember, you have to take care of yourself first. If at any time you feel uncomfortable, you need let him know.
     
  28. Been There

    Been There Habitué

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    I respectfully disagree - this topic is inappropriate for any public forum. The OP would be better off going to Barnes and Noble or the public library to read a few books on related subjects: celibacy, promiscuity, etc. Please stop titillating the members here.
     
  29. ChildWhisperer

    ChildWhisperer Groupie

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    If you're going to ask for advice, please TAKE THE ADVICE.
    I've noticed you ask for advice a lot but then do what you want anyway even if everyone unanimously tells you the same thing..
     
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