Behavior Notification to Parents

Discussion in 'Montessori' started by TiffanyL, Aug 9, 2009.

  1. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    Aug 9, 2009

    I have a question....Tracykaliski, I'm hoping you will respond (but the more the merrier:))

    In a Montessori setting, how would parents be notified of inappropriate behavior.

    I know that writing names on the walls, turning a color card, etc., is not the Montessori way.

    My teachers are planning to have a Montessori style "Moose Binder". When I was teaching, I typically had a monthly behavior chart in each child's binder. I would notate if the child had a difficult time that day and the parents would sign.

    I'm thinking this would totally be against the Mont. philosophy. What could I do in place of it?
     
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  3. Pattypoo

    Pattypoo Comrade

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    Aug 10, 2009

    Not Tracy, but what is a moosebinder? What I do in my Montessori classroom is that I usually will send a note home to the parents. I make sure that I keep a copy of the note and I always emphasize to the parent that they can call, email, talk with me etc. anytime to discuss. We have only called for parent conferences if a child has been especially out of control. Such as, hitting, swearing, etc. I am sure Tracy will have some fantastic insight.
     
  4. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    Aug 10, 2009

    Thank you so much, Pattypoo.

    A Moose binder is just an organizational three ring binder that keeps everything together for a student. It contains a pocket for important info from school, a spot for lunch money, etc.

    I think we will be naming ours the "Midas Binder". Our mascot is a mountain lion and we will be using clipart to make a cover for the binder and calling him Midas. Midas will be the acronym for: Montessorians: independent, dedicated and sincere.

    I'm really liking how it is all coming together BUT we have a range of philosophy knowledge at our school. Some of us are more "contemporary Montessori" and others more "traditional Montessori".

    I would like the teachers to have a behavior log in each binder and the parents can refer to it to see how their child is doing behaviorally. Some traditional teachers may respond with, "That's against Montessori philosophy".

    So....I'm feeling things out here before I make any final suggestions!
    Hope that makes sense!
     
  5. Pattypoo

    Pattypoo Comrade

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    Aug 10, 2009

    Yes, I understand about trying to get everyone on the same page. I asked a question about groundrules on another discussion board and I got several responses. Some were helpful and some were just a lecture on "how dare I impose rules on the children". LOL

    We just chose the Mountain Lion as our mascot too. (Even though we live in N. IL where there aren't any mountain lions)

    Do you have a lot of discipline challenges in your school? I find that it is helpful just to talk with the parent. But, if it is a serious situation, you want to make sure that you have another teacher/administrator with you. Are you in a private school?
     
  6. tracykaliski

    tracykaliski Connoisseur

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    Aug 11, 2009

    I'm just seeing this now.

    My thoughts are these:

    In a montessori classroom the expectation is that everyone will be an appropriate part of the classroom and that everyone will respect each other. It's our job as the adult in the space to help the children achieve that internal locus of control, if you will, and be respectful of the children and each other. In my space the assumption is that the child is doing a fine job in the environment unless I say something. I usually write notes to parents or talk to them when they pick up their children at the end of the day since our parents have to come into the building to get their kids.

    If I were going to use something like you've posted, I would try to focus on the positive and share something with the parents that fits in with the philosophy. For example, I would share something quirky or funny that a child said that day, or I would talk about how Susie was helping Frank with his work, or how Yash played with Henry in the sand for 30 minutes outside and give some specifics of what they were doing.

    It takes a long long time to do this, but what ends up happening is that the parents really understand that you know their child, not just his/her behavior and not just his/her negative behavior. Parents want to know that we know their children and we can work with them within the parameters of our space and help them grow and achieve and become the best them that they can be. Does that make sense? Any kind of positive information I pass along to parents makes it easier for them to hear the not so positive stuff when I have to deal with it too.

    I also try to not innundate them with every little thing that happens at school. One of our teachers tells parents when she has to ask a child to leave meetings, when a child won't stop talking during her meeting, or when the child does some sort of minor infraction that children are normally going to do anyway. It drives me nuts (and the parents too). I try to share info with parents that's important for them to know, but not the day to day minutia that we need to deal with.

    Let me know if I've confused you more than I've answered your question. :lol:
     
  7. MzMooreTeaches

    MzMooreTeaches Cohort

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    Jun 28, 2010

    Tracy that was very informative. My name is also Tracee ;-)

    So basically Tracy the behavior plan happens face to face interactions with the parents. Only in severe cases of misbehavior (swearing, hitting, extreme trantrums would you notify the parents.) In the meantime you're really focusing on getting to know the children and them getting to know you. And redirecting misbehavior and talking them through it in the classroom...

    I can see how telling the parents the day to day happenings could become annoying.
     
  8. tracykaliski

    tracykaliski Connoisseur

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    Jul 3, 2010

    Yes, that's right. That's exactly what I do. And I try to build positive relationships with the parents by telling them cute little things about their child from the day or something nice they did.

    It takes a lot of time up front to do it this way, but in the long run it works beautifully.
     
  9. MzMooreTeaches

    MzMooreTeaches Cohort

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    Jul 9, 2010

    Hopefully I dont need to start a new thread for this. I have been thinking a lot about the behavior managment plan that i will use. I know Montessori does not believe in time outs.. but rather natural consequences for behavior. I read somewhere about a child who ran across one of the work rugs, so naturally he had to clean the rug after stepping on it.

    Is it logical to have my management style work as follows.

    1. Redirect the child and let him know all the things that he can do instead.
    2. Natural Consequence.. he throws a toy? He hits another child?

    I have been nannying for the summer to a 3yr old and 1yr old... and he has been my practices on what works and what doesnt.

    When he is having a tantrums he hates for me to walk away from him. I tell him that I cannot talk to him until he calms down. Which means his body is still, and his voice is quiet... I basically try to take the attention away from the negative behavior and really praise him for the positive. This is only week 4.

    He hit his sister with a toy so I took the toy away from him... is that a natural consequence?
     
  10. tracykaliski

    tracykaliski Connoisseur

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    Jul 9, 2010

    Yes, that's a natural consequence. If he can't use it appropriately, he shouldn't have it in his hand.
     

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