Becoming Bitter

Discussion in 'General Education' started by KinderCowgirl, Sep 16, 2009.

  1. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2006
    Messages:
    4,858
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 16, 2009

    For the 1st time in my career I think I may be succumbing to bitterness. Not in the classroom with the kids-there it's fine. But the other stuff--parents, wishy-washy administration, co-workers etc. really seems to be getting to me this year.

    I have 3 staff kids in my room and one of the teachers went to my administrator and said the homework I was sending was not hard enough. I teach a GT class but I don't think this child is really GT, a high acheiver, yes. Parent brags constantly how the kid's already doing multiplication (can recite the tables, doesn't understand the concept). To me, homework should reinforce what they are learning in class and I'm definitely not teaching multiplication in K-what I send is from 1st Grade resources, it's not like I'm sending home a page to color the letter "A" or anything-it's consonant blends, graphing, etc.

    I guess I was hurt that this parent went above my head instead of coming to me and that the admin wouldn't send them to me instead of acting as a go-between. She simply said I'll give you a book of harder homework, not even let me see what you're sending. I truly considered sending something extremely above grade level tonight for this kid like maybe linear functions to prove a point. :whistle: I know I should just find homework the parent would like but it's the principle of it you know.

    That's not the only example, just the one that made me realize I'm more angry and frustrated this year. How do you stay "happy" day-to-day when there are so many stressors in this profession completely out of your control? :help:
     
  2.  
  3. frogger

    frogger Devotee

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2008
    Messages:
    1,057
    Likes Received:
    2

    Sep 16, 2009

    I know what you mean/feel. It's the kids for me either and most parents are pretty good. It's my administration and district that is making me bitter. They basically take any fun/joy you would have for teaching out of it - no coloring on kids work is one example - I teach 2nd grade. So basically kids can't color/draw anything????
     
  4. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2008
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 16, 2009

    I know exactly how you feel. I had a kid a couple of years ago and his dad was a principal in another district, he called me a couple of times and told ME I NEEDED some advice on how to run my class. I was mad enough to die. His kid was barely average on a good day!!! He had the gall to call and complain to my P too!! He was so uglly to me. You just have to consider the source as ignorant, do what YOU KNOW is right.

    AND what goes around comes around. HE lost his job as a P, had to take a job 45 miles away, can't sell his half a million $ house, his wife had to change jobs because he lost his, their kids have been in two different districts because THE SCHOOLS they attended didn't know what they were doing! They were renting an appt. in the other town and making a gynormous house payment here. He's just a jerk, others recognized it too.

    Walk into your classroom, close the door, and do what you KNOW how to do and ignore the ignorant.
     
  5. CanukTeacher

    CanukTeacher Comrade

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2008
    Messages:
    431
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 16, 2009

    I can't comment on the difficult situation you are facing, but I can on the bitter thing. Last year I started to succumb and then I took some time to figure out what really mattered to me. I'm not trying to say it is easy (I was really worried about how frustrated I was) but that it doesn't have to be permanent. I know this doesn't help how you feel now but if you've been positive in the past even if you have some rough patches there is a light at the end of the tunnel :)
     
  6. Darkhorse

    Darkhorse Companion

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2007
    Messages:
    143
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 16, 2009

    I hear you on this one. We are not allowed to do word searches, color, art projects and the big kicker.... I got in trouble for letting my kids play math games!

    Yeah, I guess direct instruction is the only way to go anymore. :mad: I would love teaching if I was actually able to teach. But no. I must be a robot and my children are nothing but statistics. :| There is a very negative vibe at my school this year and it sucks.

    On top of that I had an HOUR long parent meeting where the parent insinuated that the reason his child is doing poorly is because I have no classroom management and if more than one or two kids are also low then I also can't teach effectively. (This comes from a kid that has been low since kindergarten) I had to really hold my tongue on that one and just smile and nod.:crosseyed
     
  7. Kindergarten31

    Kindergarten31 Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2007
    Messages:
    500
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2009

    It is harder and harder each year to stay positive and up-beat. As with most of you , it is not the children-it's all the other junk. We keep getting more and more stuff heaped on us, took a pay cut this year, have all kinds of new 'state' testing, etc. Kindergarten has the absolute WORST schedule, almost to the point of unworkable. When we spoke to our AP about it (she does the scheduling) she said, "Yeh, the K schedule sucks". That was it. So we just have to deal with it. I just bite my tongue and hide out in my classroom. Last year our school ( and whole district) had a very negative feel about it and it does again this year.
     
  8. futureteach21

    futureteach21 Habitué

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    821
    Likes Received:
    1

    Sep 17, 2009

    Darkhorse- I pm'd you.
     
  9. webmistress

    webmistress Devotee

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2006
    Messages:
    1,082
    Likes Received:
    60

    Sep 17, 2009

    This is absolutely ridiculous:eek: What in the world is going on in this country? Ugh!!
     
  10. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2006
    Messages:
    4,858
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2009

    Thanks for your responses! It does feel better to know others are going through the same thing. Although I was really hoping someone would have a magic "cure" for me though. Oh well, I'll just keep pressing on and try to concentrate on the teaching instead of all the other junk.
     
  11. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2007
    Messages:
    17,362
    Likes Received:
    46

    Sep 17, 2009

    A teacher and I were having this same conversation today. I can't stand parents going to my admin before they've had a chance to come to me first and discuss it and give me time to implement whatever plan we come up with....if after that, they aren't happy, then go to my P but not w/o talking to me first.
     
  12. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2007
    Messages:
    2,233
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 20, 2009

    I'm there with you this year. Love the team I'm working with, but some of the other teachers are stepping on my last nerve.

    The principal is on a mission....he wants to make sure everyone knows he is in charge. The problem is that he is ADHD and can't stay focused or organized long enough.

    It seems that too many of the parents are not supportive and blame the teachers for their kid's lack of effort. One parent told us that she "wasn't home baking cookies all day" and so she didn't know what we wanted her to do about her son's "no homework" policy.

    I seriously began looking for another line of work. I need a change.
     
  13. Lynn K.

    Lynn K. Habitué

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2007
    Messages:
    803
    Likes Received:
    4

    Sep 20, 2009

    I totally get the bitter thing! I was so miserable last year; I was ready to quit teaching altogether. This year I decided to stay out of the drama between the teachers and admin. I stay in my room and do my thing, and I really am enjoying my year a lot more this year so far. Some of the teachers had a secret meeting last week about their current gripes. I was invited, but I 'forgot' to go.
     
  14. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2003
    Messages:
    617
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 20, 2009

    You guys sound so miserable. It might be teacher burn-out too. Particularly if you are normally a high achieving teacher.....your odds of burning out increase because you take on too much, take comments very personally, etc.

    Throughout my teaching career, I had moments like this from time to time. I liked to consider myself a high achieving teacher. I am generally a very positive thinker so when I would find myself jumping on the Negative Train, it was generally my cue that I was getting in a rut and needed something fresh.

    You might want to consider changing grade levels or transferring to another school. Staying in the same grade/school is wonderful and consistent, however, the same ol' same ol' issues start to really seem magnified when you've been dealing with them for quite some time.

    Just a thought.....mix something up, give yourself a new challenge to focus on rather than all of the negatives.
     
  15. mom2sands

    mom2sands Comrade

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2006
    Messages:
    387
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 20, 2009

    I can relate. Our lunch schedule has been pushed an hour later. We have a recess just before lunch. Enrichment time has been reduced by 15 minutes. Our printers and internet have been down since school began. Now we've been told that all four of us have to teach exactly the same thing during enrichment. This is the only 1/2hour of the day when I feel like I can actually use my creativity. Now it's being stifled. Not much room left for enjoyment!!! YKWIM??:mad:
     
  16. futureteach21

    futureteach21 Habitué

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    821
    Likes Received:
    1

    Sep 20, 2009

    How annoying, Mom2sands! Thats too bad they are taking that part of you day away!
     
  17. tracykaliski

    tracykaliski Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2008
    Messages:
    1,927
    Likes Received:
    1

    Sep 20, 2009

    KInderCowgirl, I am sorry you're experiencing this. I always remember when I was in college, they told us that 50% of our time would be spent working with the children and 50% of our time would be spent working with the parents. It's true. Sometimes the parents take up more of our time.

    I also know of a few very good teachers who left teaching, not because of the children, but because they didn't want to have to deal with the parents anymore.
     
  18. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2008
    Messages:
    1,522
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 20, 2009

    NO!
    TEXANS don't get bitter! THEY GET EVEN!:lol:
    (U place a..NO! I'm JUST KIDDING!)
    They fined me for not changing my DL within 30 days,:rolleyes:SO I am now A TEXAN with an attitude!:D
    BTTS...Back to the subject...
    It is so sad to come across parents, co-workers and all kinds of people who try to treat us like we have no feelings or worth. It makes me want to reach out and spread a piece of fist BUT I try to practice what I preach, "THINK B4 YOU BLINK!" I NOW consider what the consequenses are. It has helped me BIG time and it has made me a better person.:cool:
    I hope that you will never STOOP down to their level.
    I love music, so I hum a song or sing it out loud @ the most unusual times & places. I have walked by teachers who looked so mad & :| and started singing a song that will cheer them up. When the children act up in the cafeteria, I start singing a song and they all start joining in. I do the same in the classroom. I also have my "lunch bunch" (4 of us). We sit around and JUST LAUGH; (helps with the endorphin production too), the crap out of ourselves! We have the strangest conversations; FROM what we prepared for lunch to bring and share, what we did when we were kids and teen agers; (Lots of funny, crazy & cool stuff in these areas), the funny stuff the children did in class; we TRY to stay away from negative stuff; but if it comes up, THEN watch out!, some JOKES I provide; which I don't think are funny, BUT they laugh @ them, TO what we're having for dinner, etc.
    Keeping a dairy has been done by some people. One teacher kept one about all her negative happenings in her workplace; (where I am now), as I was told. She took off and left the dang thing there. Can you imagine what they read about how this teacher felt?!? If you do start writing about the happenings though @ work, make sure you leave it @ home.:lol:
    I sometimes draw when I want to relax. I write poems, call up friends and relatives who are POSITIVE, not the grouchy ones.
    Last, but not the least, I get ON BOARD & KEY IN. It's fun 4 me.

    Just be yourself, do your best, and don't let them see you sweat.
    IT WILL just BURN THEM to see that you're a POSITIVE FORCE!:angel:
    Rebel1
     
  19. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2006
    Messages:
    4,858
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 20, 2009

    Thanks guys! Good advice.

    Rebel - you know I was born a Yankee so I've only been a Texan for about 10 years. You crack me up. I wish I had more positive people on campus to hang out with.

    I was actually offered the possibility to move up with my kids from last year - I wish I had taken it. Their teacher just quit and they have different subs each day - GT kids with extraordinary potential and creativity. But then if wishes were horses, beggars would ride, right?

    I hate to hear others are experiencing the same thing because it's just not fun. I may be burnt out, but I still love teaching the kids. I'm happy to get up and go in for them, excited about lessons....and then am hit with some drama. I guess I just have to remember what I've told others before - you can't please everyone. You do something some parents love, others hate it. I'm just going to :D and bear it.
     
  20. futureteach21

    futureteach21 Habitué

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    821
    Likes Received:
    1

    Sep 20, 2009

    Well said :)
     
  21. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    6,601
    Likes Received:
    1,505

    Sep 20, 2009

    I am the usually the most positive person on earth, but, this year is presenting some unique challenges. I have already thought about the advice that Tiffany gave and I am making plans for a change next year. I feel devastated that I will be abandoning my students, but I think the admin feels that I will continue to take all the abuse they throw at us without a complaint. This district needs a wake up call about they way they treat their special education teachers and students. I still want to work a few more years, but not in this situation anymore. So, Kinder, I also sympathize with you.
     
  22. 100%Canadian

    100%Canadian Companion

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2007
    Messages:
    246
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 20, 2009

    Yeah, it's frustrating but you have to deal with it because I don't see it going away. It's hard not to take things personally in this job, at least, that's what I find. Focus on the things that make this job rewarding and try to let the bad/odd stuff roll off your back.

    Teaching is a marathon, not a sprint. Don't burn out.
     
  23. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Sep 21, 2009

    I think that's excellent advice!!

    A new prep is a lot of work, but it's also a fresh start.
     
  24. CindyBlue

    CindyBlue Cohort

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2004
    Messages:
    505
    Likes Received:
    19

    Sep 22, 2009

    I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling like this...but I totally "get it." I've been there and done that, and have basically decided to stay in my room with my kids as much as possible and avoid the cattiness and negativity of the adults. I try to be as organized as possible, back up everything as much as possible with a paperwork trail, and make sure I notify the VP ahead of time that there might be a problem so when she sees that kid I've sent from my room she'll already know the problem. This keeps her "on my side" and it really helps to have an ally in the administration. Any chance you could go to your P and ask if she'll make it a policy that she won't discuss an issue with parents until that parent has contacted you? On the other hand, and good P can relieve a teacher from a lot of hassle - remember that you are NOT the only teacher she's hearing about - she gets it from everyone, about everyone. It's so hard not to take it all personally...but try not to...it isn't you, it's them.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. MrsC,
  2. ready2learn,
  3. CaliforniaRPCV,
  4. YoungTeacherGuy,
  5. Dobrien
Total: 415 (members: 7, guests: 390, robots: 18)
test