Babies having babies

Discussion in 'Secondary Education' started by midwestteacher, Jan 22, 2009.

  1. midwestteacher

    midwestteacher Cohort

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    Jan 22, 2009

    A high school freshman has just told me she is pregnant. She is "super excited". She is already making plans and wants to be on Homebound instruction for the entire first quarter next year. She is constantly making comments like "You think I am big now, wait about six months."

    Personally, I think it is really sad. Her mom is an, umm, exotic performer and really has nothing to do with her. She lives with her grandparents (late 70s) and they have pretty much raised her since her dad just has no idea what to do with a girl. I think she has it in her mind that Grandma and Grandpa will be raising this one like they raised her and her life isn't going to change that much. We already have a four day trip to Indiana planned for next fall and she wants to go. Ummm, we don't offer child care on field trips.
     
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  3. Mrs. K.

    Mrs. K. Enthusiast

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    Jan 22, 2009

    That is sad. These children have such a romanticized vision of what it's like to have a baby.

    My school uses those baby dolls that cry at random times and record data that shows whether they were "cared for" or not. The trouble is, they're very expensive, we only have a few, and the only kids that get experience with them are those taking the life skills elective. I think it should be mandatory for every student!
     
  4. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Jan 22, 2009

    I agree, Mrs. K. That is so sad that she's that excited about having a baby so young. :(
     
  5. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Jan 22, 2009

    About 60% of my female students are pregnant or are already young mothers (which is very disconcerting considering I'm old enough to be a mom to many of them). I keep my mouth shut and am just glad they are still in school and where they can be helped, even if it's from a distance.

    That being said, I wanted to scream when another one of my girls called to tell me the stick turned blue.
     
  6. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Jan 22, 2009

    The kids at school tell me that a lot of the girls get pregnant on purpose. On purpose! Um, did I miss something here???
     
  7. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    WHY??!???
     
  8. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Jan 22, 2009

    I wonder the same thing. This is crazy! These girls have no idea what's about to hit them.I don't get it...
     
  9. ELA 11 12

    ELA 11 12 Companion

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    Jan 22, 2009

    No one loves them (the young people) at home anymore, so they need to fill that void, like lonely people who obsess over their pets. The kids get intimacy from the act of creating a life, and then believe that life will fulfill theirs...

    Hopefully this new situation creates some job security for health teachers...goodness knows they are under appreciated...
     
  10. jbj913

    jbj913 Rookie

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    Jan 22, 2009

    Pregnancy has become a fad. It has become materialized. It gathers attention, a form a popularity.
    It's quite pathetic.
    And usually with most of these girls, once they have the child they realize it's life-altering and will treat the kid as a burden.
    Hopefully, this girl gets her mind straight and grows up.
    **** shame it happened in 9th grade.
     
  11. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Jan 23, 2009

    One of my new students just sent me an essay about herself. She had a daughter when she was 16 and is about to have another baby at 19. I want to share a little of what she had to say on the subject:

    The last thing I am going to talk about is what I feel teenagers need to listen to and pay attention to. I think teenagers should listen to their parents when they tell them not have to have sex. I did not think I could get pregnant the first time but I did. I ended up with a beautiful little girl. I would not give her up for anything but I do wish I had waited till I got older to have her. It is very hard to be a parent. Teenagers today think that it is just a game but its not. It is hard work being a parent. Then when you are going to school at the same time. That just makes it even harder. Sometimes I wish I had waited and I just think all teenagers should think really hard if they want to take that chance or not because you cannot gamble and expect to win every time. When you have sex as a teenager you are gambling with your childhood. You could lose it or you could keep it you never know. This is why all teenagers should really think twice before they have sex.​
     
  12. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    Jan 23, 2009

    I've heare middle school students say that they want to have a baby so someone will love them. Sad! Commend her for allowing this child to have life and just be there for her!
     
  13. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Wow, cat, don't you wish you could send that child around to schools to spread what she has learned?!?
     
  14. Writer's Block

    Writer's Block Companion

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    Jan 23, 2009

    You must have missed the tabloids in the supermarket checkouts...;)

    Hollywood has "glorified" pregnancies by calling them "baby bumps." I think that is a disgusting term for a pregnant woman. All of these young stars are getting pregnant, and tabloids are paying up to (and over) one million bucks for the first shots of the new baby. Very few of these girls are getting married to the fathers, but they are all living it up. They see these babies be the talk of society pages, magazines, etc.

    I whole-heartedly believe that when Hollywood stops glorifying unwed mothers/pregnancies, it can cause a positive trend in society.

    But that would make Hollywood more conservative than it is...
     
  15. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I guess these girls that read those tabloids and see the cute "baby bumps", don't follow up to see the massive bulge that pregnant women get at the very end of the pregnancy.
     
  16. adventuresofJ

    adventuresofJ Comrade

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    Jan 23, 2009

    The reason I have heard/know of...
    1) trapping - they dont ever want their puppy love to end so they get knocked up
    2) The baby will love them...
    3) to get on welfare and not have to work (I've actually heard this come out of someones mouth)

    Currently there are no pregnant teenagers in my school.
     
  17. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    I really wish I could, but I'm more than happy to at least pass on her words. She's so motivated to care for her family while finishing her schooling. Not all of my young mothers are as dedicated as she is (and I have a TON of moms in my class).
     
  18. katiel

    katiel Rookie

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    Jan 23, 2009

    I'm only 15, but I'm excited for the day I have a child (which will probably be after I graduate ... in my 20's), so I understand the excitement. But maybe you should talk to her? I'm not sure what the boundaries are exactly between teachers and students, but just let her know what she's in for and that she probably won't get to go on the field trip if it'll be when she's 6 months pregnant.
     
  19. kteachone

    kteachone Companion

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    Jan 23, 2009

    I'm 23...some of the parents of my 5/6 yr olds are younger than me. It's sad and ridiculous at the same time. In an age where condoms are free at clinics, there is no excuse for getting pregnant if you're being safe.

    Problem is, the kids who keep having children feel like it's okay to keep having kids and handing them off to their parents. It leaves them with no responsibility. They'll have 9 children and not one will live with them. A lot of the guardians at my school are grandparents, not mom or dad.
     
  20. blessedhands

    blessedhands Comrade

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    Jan 23, 2009

    You are right on with that.

    One told me that America's welfare system will take care of the baby so why think about money, etc.
     
  21. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    I currently have 3 pregnant students...two 8th graders and a 7th grader. I think it's the saddest thing in the world.
     
  22. TennisPlayer

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    Jan 23, 2009

    I think some girls get pregnant because they want attention from others. There was a show on 20/20 or one of those evening shows that showed women who buy $$expensive$$ dolls so people will think they are real babies and they do everything with them as if they were a real baby.
     
  23. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    I really wish more teen moms would consider adoption, but I've seen some girls get a terrible reaction from their friends for even mentioning the idea of giving up their babies.
     
  24. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Jan 24, 2009

    :happybday: cat!
     
  25. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    Jan 24, 2009

    Happy Birthday, catnfiddle!
     
  26. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Eh, I'm a prime number (37) today, so it's starting to look like a usual day. Thankfully the husband is taking me out to dinner at a place I've wanted to try for ages. Thanks for the good wishes!
     
  27. ifightaliens

    ifightaliens Rookie

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    God, when I was doing my Practicum, I was in an 8th grade class, and there was a girl that was pregnant. 13 years old. It's such a sad thing.
     
  28. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    One of the teachers at my school (remember that we don't meet most of our students) asks the following questions of his new female students:
    • Do you currently have a child?
    • Are you currently pregnant?
    • Do you have other health issues that are the reason you're in school from home?
    His reasoning is that he needs to know these things because the babies should ALWAYS come first, but he doesn't want the babies to become an excuse. My class is 77% female with a 60% pregnancy / single mother rate. The hardest problem I've had so far is the occasional tough questioner wanting to know why I'm childless. Thankfully that hasn't happened so far this semester.
     
  29. Writer's Block

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    I can't believe he gets away with that!!!! That sounds like the situation of a potential employer asking the person during the interview if she is "pg...has children...going to have a baby in the near future."

    Doesn't seem right. If these girls are in school in any capacity, cheer them on.
     
  30. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I can see why the teacher would do this. If I remember cat, you work for an online school? The teachers should know if the students have a child so they can be aware of why they might not meet a particular day (an appt). And if the student is pregnant, the teacher would need to know so they can be aware if the student goes into labor as a reason why the student doesn't check in for awhile.
     
  31. adventuresofJ

    adventuresofJ Comrade

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    I agree - it helps him know how he can best help his students. He is not looking to put them down, he's asking to make sure they finish school while putting babies first.
     
  32. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Jan 27, 2009

    Exactly. For example, I know one of my students (the one who wrote the excerpt that I posted last week) is giving birth next month. She also has a toddler with a chronic illness. Those kids come first and we need to know that. I'm certainly not going to punish a student for missing an assignment while she's in labor!
     
  33. KSD

    KSD Rookie

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    It also depends on the school. I know in my high school we had at one time 123 students that were expecting. Now my school was around 3000 students.

    What makes this worse, my school had a day care at the school. So allot of people I knew would drop their kid in day care, and walk down the hall to their class.

    When I mean day care they had from babies to what looked like 5 year olds. They had a play ground and everything. This way the mother's could stay in high school and graduate on time.

    **Just to clarify this was my high school. I graduated HS in 2004 so it isn't that long ago.
     
  34. Bumble

    Bumble Groupie

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    I did my pre-student teaching in a 6th grade class and one of the students was having a baby! It is HARD to look the other way when young people ruin their lives, but we have to smile and wish them the best.
     
  35. sevenplus

    sevenplus Connoisseur

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    As a 37-year-old who has dealt with infertility for 10 years, I really shouldn't have read this thread.
     
  36. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    A huge part of me wants to scream at my gals to consider letting their babies be adopted, but I'd probably get into a lot of trouble for that.

    I have fertility issues as well and my husband had to have his face reconstructed to correct a birth defect, so we've decided to "take a pass". Fortunately, my current students don't give me grief on this decision (which isn't entirely my own), but past students did tell me that they couldn't understand why I wasn't having children. Sigh!
     
  37. Apple125

    Apple125 Rookie

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    A few years ago, when I taught sixth grade, one of my students went on maternity leave the same day I did. She denied she was pregnant, even though she clearly had a baby bump. It's hard to disguise a pregnant belly on an eleven year-old. We had to call in her mother and break the news and insist she receive medical care. She never came back to school, and we have been unable to find her. Wondering about her will haunt me for the rest of my life. Unbelievably sad.
     
  38. atomic

    atomic Companion

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    There's other ways(more PC)that you can ask those same questions.

    EXAMPLE. Is there any thing that I should know about that may hinder your ability to complete assignments? ie. baby, work, drug habit...etc. ________________________

    It is very sad, too. Both the answers and the fact we need to ask the question. I have had many pregnant students and a few with more than one child.

    My school pushes pregnant students into a night program...don't really understand how they can do that legally. Can't ever get a straight answer, but that's not new.
     

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