Awkward/rude ice breakers?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Em_Catz, Jul 29, 2013.

  1. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Messages:
    1,150
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 29, 2013

    Last week DH (aka former fiance :wub:) and I were early to our shuttle, so it was going to be about 20 minutes before it pulled off.

    We sat near the front and I had my head on his shoulder and we were talking about our excursion.

    A man in his late 50s, early 60s got on and sat across from us. Then, in a joking voice he says loudly, "Hey man, I saw her (me) yesterday on this same shuttle but she was with a guy that definately wasn't you!" (Lie of course)

    We both ignored him and kept talking to each other, so he taps DH on the knee and repeats it.


    Have any of you guys had a stranger use an offensive/awkward/rude ice breaker to try and start a conversation with you?

    I feel like if he wanted to talk, he could've said, "Hey, are you guys honeymooning?" or "How're you enjoying the area?" or even, "Where're you all from?" like all the other tourists we interacted with. :rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2013
  2.  
  3. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    8,565
    Likes Received:
    1,683

    Jul 29, 2013

    I've had a saleswoman make small talk while she rang me up for a bra. She said, "Well, with your size changing as you get further along..." I realized that I was wearing an A-frame blouse, but I've also learned to NEVER assume that the person is pregnant. Truly should have walked away from the purchase.
     
  4. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Messages:
    1,150
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 29, 2013

    Ugh, I am always so paranoid about this, especially if the person is larger. Depending on my mood I would have either said, "Yeah, no I'm not pregnant" or gone along with it and said something stupid like, "Yup. They're due any minute now."
     
  5. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    8,565
    Likes Received:
    1,683

    Jul 29, 2013

    Say nothing unless the other person mentions it. That's the only way to go about it. OTOH, I accidentally offended my dental hygienist by failing to congratulate her until she mentioned maternity leave. I explained my rule and she finally thanked me for my tact.
     
  6. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Messages:
    1,150
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 29, 2013

    Yikes. One of my girlfriends was very slim before getting pregnant and only gained in her stomach (and kept wearing short shorts and heels) so often guys would see her from behind and come up to hit on her, then she'd turn around revealing her big belly and their faces would change and they'd say, "Nevermind". :lol:
     
  7. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2006
    Messages:
    7,946
    Likes Received:
    4

    Jul 29, 2013

    Seemingly nine months along with twins, I ain't saying a word! Nope!

    But as to your question, I can't recall any outright rude situations...but surely there have been a few awkwars ones. I think most people mean well, but they don't seem to be aware of boundaries or general social "norms".
     
  8. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

    Joined:
    May 13, 2004
    Messages:
    5,893
    Likes Received:
    168

    Jul 29, 2013

    Som idiots don't know what to say, which means they should just keep their trap shut! I can't recall anyone saying something rude to me. I probably just have that type of appearance where people would just rather not say much.
     
  9. Ted

    Ted Habitué

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    836
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 29, 2013

    Your husband should have not missed a beat and asked the guy:

    "Oh yeah? Was he as hot as me?"

    That may have left the guy speechless. ;)
     
  10. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

    Joined:
    May 13, 2004
    Messages:
    5,893
    Likes Received:
    168

    Jul 29, 2013

    I like it when people have quick comebacks for people like that. I like the response Ted said!
     
  11. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2006
    Messages:
    4,492
    Likes Received:
    100

    Jul 29, 2013

    I work at a maternity store. There have been a couple of times when I have been helping someone and asked how far along they were only to have the say "I am not the pregnant one. I'm buying for my _____________." Once I had who I thought was a grandma to be come in looking at clothes and I thought it would be a gift. At the checkout I asked her if she would like a gift receipt she just looked a me funny and said "Why would I need a GR for my own clothes?" I've learned to ask "Who are you shopping for?" unless it's obvious who is expecting.
     
  12. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2003
    Messages:
    6,809
    Likes Received:
    190

    Jul 29, 2013

    I felt bad when I was pg... I couldn't find any clothes. I mean all the shirts I was finding was flaunting the cleavage (not appropriate for elem. teacher) and they were all too long, so I went to Lane Bryant. I found their clothes classy and I wasn't feeling exposed, plus I was huge pregnant. So the lady was showing me all this stuff and I felt so bad telling her that I was pg and just couldn't find any clothes that fit me the way I wanted them to. She kind of gave me one of those stink eyes...Oh well.
     
  13. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2006
    Messages:
    7,946
    Likes Received:
    4

    Jul 29, 2013

    How was the wedding?! :)
     
  14. teacherwithlove

    teacherwithlove Comrade

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2011
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 29, 2013

    Wait- did you get married?! :)
     
  15. bison

    bison Habitué

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2012
    Messages:
    874
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 30, 2013

    I want to hear about the wedding!!! I thought it was a ways off! Congratulations!

    But yeah, we have received some similar comments as well. Mostly jokes about how my boyfriend tricked me into dating him or how I'm out of his league. They're meant to be compliments, but it's not the nicest. I ignore it. I'm usually pretty frank about comments that I don't like, but this isn't a battle I have the energy to fight. Now, if an older man tells me I'd look prettier if I smiled ONE MORE TIME I will lose it! I find it so incredibly rude and belittling. I do not exist as a decoration for you! I don't plan my moods and facial expressions around what you will find aesthetically pleasing! We no longer live in a time when women are seen as nothing more than companions to men! Grrrrr it makes my blood boil. Someone said this to me literally as I was walking to my car after putting my dog of something like 15 years to sleep. I had finally just stopped crying enough to drive. I probably gave him the most evil glare of my life, but I wish I went with a raving-lunatic-style lecture instead, filled with waving arms and expletives I don't normally use.
     
  16. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2008
    Messages:
    5,272
    Likes Received:
    1,620

    Jul 30, 2013

    I don't think he wanted to start a conversation with you. It just seemed like one of those people who likes to talk and not mind his own business.They are just rude by nature and have no clue how to talk to people. I would probably have ignored him too. Was he with a woman? If not, there probably was a reason :spitwater:
     
  17. 3Sons

    3Sons Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2007
    Messages:
    2,069
    Likes Received:
    233

    Jul 30, 2013

    If I can tell it's someone who wants to make conversation, I'll usually engage with them and ignore their social clumsiness. There are a lot of people who aren't particularly self-aware, and I try not to hold it against them.

    The worst thing anyone said to me was a guy on the subway, who asked me for money. My infant was in a baby carrier on my back. I said, "Sorry, I don't have any to spare." and his reply was, "At least I'm not making monsters." It took me a while to figure out what he meant... my child is mixed race.
     
  18. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2005
    Messages:
    4,395
    Likes Received:
    7

    Jul 30, 2013

    This would be my father-in-law. He talks to everybody. Whether they want to or not. I am a very private person, and this drives me crazy. He will start conversations with a brick wall if no one is around. He's harmless, and just likes to talk, but sometimes it is soooo embarrassing.
     
  19. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2007
    Messages:
    2,007
    Likes Received:
    12

    Aug 1, 2013

    Your father-in-law and I would probably try to out talk each other if we met .
    I am always starting a conversation but my ice breaker is mostly something like, "I suppose you all are wondering why I called you here?"
    And since I live in Arizona the standard, "Boy it is a hot one today." is a great starter.
    What I hate is when I am waiting or riding in a bus and someone is acting "odd" or looks "bad" and another person tries to start a conversation by saying something about the "odd" person, I might agree with what they say but I am too kind/polite to say the person is acting "odd" or looks "bad".

    I have a habit of saying something when someone does something for me; hold the door, pick up something I have dropped, etc. I say "Thank you, Your a gentleman/Lady and a scholar" many times the person will answer "Well, I don't know about that" and I add "But I lie half the time, so you have to figure which one I am lying about" LOL
     
  20. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Messages:
    1,150
    Likes Received:
    0

    Aug 1, 2013

    Lol yup i got married, honeymooned and am back. The wedding went well. I ended up giving my parents their presents at the rehearsal and my in kaws got their gift when we went out to dinner a different night.
     
  21. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,959
    Likes Received:
    2,116

    Aug 1, 2013

    You never know where someone is coming from. I'm sure the man in the OP's situation thought he was being funny. I'd smile, say something funny back and forget about it.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

Total: 209 (members: 2, guests: 189, robots: 18)
test