Attitudes, attitudes, attitdues!

Discussion in 'Secondary Education' started by TamiJ, Dec 11, 2007.

  1. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Ok, I am going to vent a little bit, but I am in such a horrible mood. It seems like all day I have been dealing with attitudes. 2nd period, I had a kid who just out right laughed in my face when I told him I would take away a toy he was playing with if I saw it one more time. Then in 3rd periiod, one of my students refused to work. She ripped up her paper and sat with her arms crossed. She proceeded to tell me that she had already done this work twice before (since I am the tutor, these students come to my classroom from the English classes). I told her that she needed to do it, that's why her teacher sent her to me. Well, I finally wrote her a pass and wrote the teacher a note letting her know that this student refused to work (and I don't want them in my classroom if they aren't going to work). Ok, moving on to 7th period. I had a group of about six 14 year olds who just wanted to talk, talk, talk, and make rude comments, say they don't understand when I just finished explaining except nobody could hear me because they were playing with papers in the binder and laughing and joking with one another. I am seriously comtemplating teaching high school instead of middle school. Some of these kids are so rude, but others are nice, so maybe it balances out in the end. I don't know. I think I am just having a really bad day.
     
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  3. Emma1

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    Dec 11, 2007

    TamiJ , I don't have a solution. But I understand what you went through. I feel sorry that you had a bad day!Believe me Ihad a horrible day yesterday and I felt the same way. Attitudes- yep they have it and refusal to do anything meaningful etc would also make the list.:( If only there is a plan I can follow to deal with this!
    ENjoy your rest of the day! You don't have to go back there again
    Emma
     
  4. ALOVEFORTEACHIN

    ALOVEFORTEACHIN Rookie

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    Don't Do It

    TamiJ
    If you don't like attitudes I wouldn't teach High School. I teach High School now and I tell you June cannot come fast enough. I will try my hardest to never teach from ages 12-18 again. Sorry to be a downer, but my students are getting the bare essentials and then I am done at the end of the year.
     
  5. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Thanks Emma. Actually, even though my icon says "substitute," I'm not. I am the language arts tutor, so this is a group of kids that I have regularly, so I will have to deal with these kids again. Thanks for your comment, I'm glad to hear that we all have these days, and that it's not just me. Sometimes it just shocks me how disrespectful some students can be. I don't get it! When I was a kid, I did what my teacher told me. I never even knew that there was any other option.
     
  6. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Wow, what will you be doing after that?? Teaching younger ages?
     
  7. Christine3

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    They, meaning teenagers, are all at the stage where they are trying to find out who they "are".

    Remember: They all want one thing and that is to be accepted

    Try to ignore as much as the non-sense behavior as you can. Be mellow; high schoolers gravitate towards calmness. Respond with positive words as well.

    Hope I helped.
     
  8. ALOVEFORTEACHIN

    ALOVEFORTEACHIN Rookie

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    Dec 13, 2007

    TamiJ-
    I have already found the school that I am going to next year, it's elementary K-5 I am hoping for 1rst, K or 2 in that order, but at this point any of them would be more acceptable. I do understand that the High School students want to be accepted and don't know who they are, but they value that more right now and I just don't want to wait while they find it out. I like getting them at an age where it does not matter or after they've discovered it.
     
  9. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Yes, that does help. I have found myself losing patience more and more, and my reaction to the attitudes is not helping either. I am trying not to take things personal, but I am finding it so hard. I am slowly losing my positive attitude and sense of humor.
     
  10. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    I agree. I have been wondering lately if I want to change my master's degree that I am working on to education instead of teaching so that I can teach at a community college and bypass all of this attitude stuff. I don't know. I am just finding myself in a bad mood everyday, and I really hate how all of the bad attitudes from these kids are affecting me. I know I need to work on the way I react to this stuff, and I hope I can do it, because if not, I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.
     
  11. KDS

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    Dec 13, 2007

    big HUGS TamiJ!

    There are days that make you understand why some animals eat their young.

    Then the next day, those same animals are the best students you have EVER met in your life. Its crazy!

    Some days you just want to cry...then go to the bathroom or take a long shower and CRY away! Hopefully you can use that day to figure out something...ANYTHING! Middle school is tough tough tough! i have major respect for those who do it all the time...HS was much more my speed. Perhaps you may need to move on...perhaps you just need a fresh start and a nice cup of coffee...i hope you have a better end of the week!
     
  12. Mamacita

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    Dec 13, 2007

    Oh my, I absolutely LOVE teenagers! Isn't it great that our students (most of the time) get a teacher who loves a particular age group best of all?

    I would be in hell if I had to teach the little ones. I need my personal space; I hate recess; I love a heated discussion as long as everyone involved did the prelims beforehand; I hate group work; I love big words; I love showing students how to make connections, ie, nothing worthwhile exists only within the four walls of a classroom; and I love, love, LOVE students who read big thick books and are dying to discuss them. I hate whining, crying, pouting, tattling, and not keeping one's hands to oneself.

    Older students rock. Except, of course, for the ones who still do the childish things and expect exceptions.
     
  13. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Dec 14, 2007

    Thanks so much! I am determined to make today a good day. My frame of mind lately has not been good, and I have been letting things affect me that I know I shouldn't. I started the year out really great, because I just let things roll off my shoulders. I need to get back to that point where I am not taking everything so personal, because like a lot of you have mentioned, there are so many good students. I even had one yesterday who invited me to his birthday party! He's in the 7th grade;I never would have suspected this! But, by the end of the day, I was at a low place again because I had a couple of students at the end of the day who were really testing. :O0
     
  14. ddb23

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    We're all going through the same thing! Attitudes is what middle school is all about! I'm always amazed that they come into middle school clueless about how to do anything, yet leave as know it all 8th graders!

    db
     
  15. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    I can't believe it, but I had a good day today! \The kids were nice. I went to school telling myself that I was going to have a good day. The kids said hi to me in the morning as I walked to my classroom, and everyone was happy. One of the boys asked me how my day was going later around 4th period, and that same 8th grader actually told me that I am pretty! I couldn't believe how nice and complimenting the kids were today. Maybe my own attitude does have a lot to do with it...I had a few squirely kids in 7th period, but there's always a few, right??
     
  16. cmw

    cmw Groupie

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    ...and why we drink! :toofunny:
     
  17. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Dec 15, 2007

    No kidding!
     
  18. TammyTeacher

    TammyTeacher Rookie

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    Well, I've come to the conclusion that to teach daycare wouldn't be much different from teaching my high school classes where I'm teaching now, excpept the children wouldn't have the teen attitudes.

    My students are very articulate and their hearing is superb in their desired exchanges - Can I borrow a pen? Can I have some paper? I'm so hungry, do you have any candy?

    But when I ask for someone to sit down, focus, stop talking, they have hearing problems.

    Teens have their little "dont wanna be bothered" attitudes!
    I probably had one. My teens do. My nieces and nephews do. It's the teen funk.

    But RUDE is what I don't like.

    I had student bang on her desk and yell at me the other day.

    Rule #1 is never challenge students. But I HAD to to ask her "Who do you think you're talking to?"

    She kept ranting, so I told her, "okay, you can leave."

    Didn't care where she went, if she went to the principal. Did not care at that moment.

    I think she went home and wanted to that's why she yelled in the first place.

    These are the new smaller schools aligned with social service agencies and anything the kids do it's because
    "they have issues and problems."

    Well, so do I, but I don't disrespect my students or anybody else.

    Nor do I think we should give students messages that they can get away with anything because they're going through problems.

    So I'm going to a school where students are not allowed to fight, curse, disrespect one another and teachers based on some social service agency that's getting megabuck grants and not even doing anything for the students anyway besides hanging around making excuses for students' horrendous behavior.
     
  19. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    TammyTeacher:

    I hate the rudeness too! I am perplexed by how many students have no problem saying "no" and down-right refusing to do what they're told. I have been laughed at when telling a student I will take away something that he kept playing with. I might have gone through sort of a tough spell when I was about 16, but I never disrespected my teachers. I would never have thought of telling my teachers "no" and saying things like "I don't want to do this." I find myself shocked at my students' behavior almost on a daily basis.
     
  20. TammyTeacher

    TammyTeacher Rookie

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    It's ridiculous.

    My student who yelled in class WILL apologize or find herself fending for herself in class. Truth is she barely attends, usually cuts, but she's basically on ignore until or unless she apologizes.

    This is a new school and leadership is very weak. Students are out of control and I've gotta do what I've gotta do to work out problems with my students in my classroom.

    I had another student cursed and ranted, not at me, but on purpose while I was very near in comments directed at me, so I could hear her. I pulled her out of lunch and bought her to my classroom, not to scold her, but we just talked and she told me about her life, her goals, and she's respected me ever since, I think, simply because I took time to listen to her.

    I've created positive relationships with some problem students by arranging conferences with them to speak with them alone, I just start off with something like, "So what are your goals here?" and sometimes it leads to whatever. But some quite out of class time, I think, helps them to see me as human whereas strictly "teacher" is sometimes not trusted and seen as enemy. And they seem to like personal attention.

    Sometimes I put them to work and ask them to help me do things, little things from arrangng books to taking attendance (of course, I check it without telling them)...*s*

    At 16 years old and over, many of our students' parents have no control over them whatsoever, which is why they act they way they do, unfortunately many did not grow up with their parents (foster care) and all kinds of dysfunctional family issues for many who did, but no excuses, they've gotta work even harder

    AND there are no schoolwide consequences.

    My greatest victory was when I called a student's name while she was talking to get her attention. She answered "What?" with an attitude and another student scolded her, "Don't talk to Mrs. ______ like that!"

    I thought, Yes! I'm making progress.

    *lol*

    Sometimes if we can get through to a few students, and other students see a positive connection, they want that too and will calm down.

    At this point, I've learned to love some of the most problematic students, but administration is weak, confused, not supportive and I feel like I'm running the school, so I've gotta go...

    find a place where leadership is strong and teachers work together
     
  21. MrU82

    MrU82 Rookie

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    Attitudes are a tough thing to deal with. I'm a first year teacher, Im 24, and I look 18 so I get it the worst. Its hard when you look like the students older sibling or cousin, instead of their father. I wear a shirt and tie every day but it is what it is.

    I knew this would happen so the first 4 weeks of school I was (pardon my language) the biggest a-hole. Now that first semester is almost over I've loosened up a bit and the students dont mess with me. I've laid the hammer down plenty of times in the beginning of the year to set examples, etc.

    I still get the occassional attitude but its more of a once or twice per week deal as opposed to a 3 or 4 times PER DAY deal.
    My life is a whole lot easier now.
     
  22. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    It takes a lot of training to work with middle school kids. I've also found that rarely does one "kind of" like middle school students and stick with it long.

    I hated my first group. Well, I didn't hate the kids themselves, but I hated many of the behaviors that I saw. After about five years I came to understand what was just in their nature. It helped a lot. They're basically just a hormonally unstable mess . . . little kids trapped in big bodies, with a few mature brains in little kid bodies just to keep it interesting.

    Teach, teach, and reteach everything you want them to do. Don't assume that because they knew what you wanted them to do yesterday that they'll remember that that's what they need to do TODAY during the same activity. They'll hate you one minute and be good as gold the next.

    They're frustrating and challenging . . . and lots of fun when you can get a grip on them. Some grades I like better than other, too. I don't like 6th graders because they're too helpless for me. I don't like 9th graders because they completely lost their minds between middle school and high school and suddenly act like the 6th graders again. I can live with 8th, 10th, and 11th graders, but they're not my favorites. I love 12th graders and 7th graders. I would be in jail if I had to teach 5th grade boys, and I'd be in a mental hospital if I taught kindergarten.

    Maybe you just haven't found your "right fit" grade yet. Hope things get better.
     
  23. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    I will quote Mark Twain here
    [​IMG]
    "When a child turns 12 you should put her in a barrel, nail the lid down and feed her through a knot hole. When she turns 16, plug the hole!"

    Gender was changed to fit the story
     
  24. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Wow, thanks so much you guys for all of the great stories and suggestions. I have also noticed that my better days have been when I have been able to keep a sense of humor about me. The kdis really respond to humor, but I am not always in a joking mood somedays, when I feel the kids are testing me to the point of breaking point. I am trying to work on that, and I am also trying not to take things so personal. One of my problems is my lack of experience, and the other problem is that as the language arts tutor, I don't always have the same students coming into my classroom, and it is so hard to build a rapport with students you don't see on a regular basis. I have been lucky to have a few students who I do see pretty regularly, which helps...
     
  25. KDS

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    When i taught MS (only for one year...a special blessing on those of you who do/did it all the time!) i thought they smelled like pee and candy--or that is how my husband describes it. It was the best explanation he could come up with for the almost palpable (sp?) reek of hormones! My (boyfriend at the time) husband came to see me at school one time and was in the back of the classroom and mouthed "oh my god! what is that smell?!" (he was teaching college at the time) i was mid lecture and had to stop for a laughing spell.

    Now husband teaches HS...you dont even want to know how he describes that smell! LOL
     
  26. YoungTeacherGuy

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    Kudos to those of you who are brave enough to teach middle/high school kids!!!

    I enjoy the little ones...they love you unconditionally! K-2 is definitely my calling!

    I had the absolute worst attitude when I was in middle school! Thankfully, once I got to high school, my attitute improved tremendously!

    Thank you to all the wonderful, compassionate, and hard-working middle school and high school teachers out there!!!
     
  27. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Ode de Locker room
     
  28. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    I miraculously had a wonderful week last week. Of course, this could have been induced by the ever-growing excitement that Christmas break was creeping closer with each passing day. Either way, I enjoyed my week.
     
  29. Budaka

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    I wish we had a language arts tutor! I have a class of 30 seventh graders (five who failed last year). It is very difficult finding a middle ground. Some students are really bored and some are really confused!
    I do want to say that most teachers were not trouble makers in school so we are shocked when students misbehave. But think back, was there never a student who mouthed off to a teacher? I went to five high schools in four different states and I can remember an incident in every school! There was even an all out brawl in front of my Spanish class when I was a senior between a pregnant 16 and a 14 year old girl! I also remember a boy when I was a sophomore screaming nasty words at a teacher down the hallway. These things do happen. Heck, put a group of professional educators in a faculty meeting and see how they behave! :)
     
  30. Terrence

    Terrence Comrade

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    Yes, teen attitudes stink!!!! There is this girl and it is taking up all the energy I have not to SMACK her! Oh man! We have met with mom, and she has the same attitude with her. My team teacher and I both explained to her and her mom, that she is going to fail and be held back of she doesn't get her grades up. The student starts cracking up! And what's sad is that the mom didn't say or do anything. The other five that REALLY get on my nerves are going to be in special ed, or out of this school by the time I am done with them. 4 our of the five are resource kids (inclusion, gotta love it!), and can't control themselves. We are going to do everything we can possibly do to get them where they belong. The other one is just a jerk. He's into drugs and gangs, so he's on the road to nowhere fast. My one inclusion resource class has almost burned me out. There are days when I just can't bare to get up and go through another day. What keeps me going is middle schoolers just crack me up. They are going through so much stuff, they have no idea which end is up. They're just a big mess. I plan on staying in middle school for my teaching career, but I do want to go down and try elementary for a year or two. I want to try 3rd through 5th. I would never go any lower than 3rd, and even 3rd may be too low. I just want to do all the cutsey artsy funsy stuff for a while. In middle school, there isn't any time for that. It's all about drill and kill.
     
  31. iSaint

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    I wish I knew what the solution was for inclusion. Some (most) of the kids are fine, IMO, and are riding their behavior and learning abilities to their advantage. I teach 11th grade. Most are fairly mature and are beginning to make an effort. I wouldn't teach anything younger!
     
  32. TammyTeacher

    TammyTeacher Rookie

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    There were a couple of "incidents" in schools I attended but not like the "incidents" I'm dealing with today. Children abandoned by drug abusing parents and growing up in foster care wasn't in such record numbers as today (backlash of crack epidemic of the 80's and early90's) nor were gangs and gang activity in the school.

    Our faculty meetings are no problem. What goes on at yours?
     
  33. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    I have experienced the same thing with our faculty meetings.
     
  34. Irishdave

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    Being a clown and ADHD it is so hard for me to keep my mouth shut at a long boring faculty meeting. When I was at a K-8 school it was so boring to listen to the K and 1st grade teachers argue over construction paper! Or when the windbag teacher says something in 10 minutes that should take 1 minute to say. Or to have the principal tell the whole faculty that he has not received some form from 3 teachers, a form that my team finished & turned in when it was given to us 4 weeks ago, That does create Attitudes, attitudes, attitudes! with me.:soapbox:

    I get really mad , since I am losing my hearing, when I am trying to hear and the other clowns (teachers) are talking.
     
  35. Budaka

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    I think at the school we are at the teachers do pretty well for the most part, but then we have these long presentations where people are telling us how to teach but not putting what they say into practice.
    The school I did my student teaching at had lots of gang problems, but I heard that it was far worse in the 70's from the teachers who had been there a while. They said there were tons of race riots!
     
  36. moonbeamsinajar

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    I admire all you teachers who teach the older kids. I could never do it. Give me my 4 year olds any day! They are too young to be jaded, and don't have those attitudes yet! The worst thing I deal with most days is poopy pants!
     
  37. Christine3

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    LOL!
    I am enjoying my 6 year old son and 3 year old daughter as much as I can! I always hear that they grow up to fast! Although my 3 yr old acts like she is 13 between fighting me on what she wears in the morning to what time she goes to bed! She is my little drama queen. The both of them are just innocent kids wanting to please mommy ;)
     
  38. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    CLZTEACH: My daughter (now 6) was very much like that when she was 3. She has been dressing herself ever since she could, and she actually has great taste. She can put her outfits together and look good! One of her very first baby teeth is getting ready to fall out. It is all wobbly and barely hanging by a thread... I wanted to cry when I first noticed. I am not ready for her to grow up, and getting her big teeth is just a reminder that her baby days are slowly dwindling away...*sigh*
     
  39. moonbeamsinajar

    moonbeamsinajar Habitué

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    They grow up in the blink of an eye, so enjoy them while you can! My "baby" is a 17 year old HS senior.
     
  40. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    That sounds so scary, I can't even imagine my daughter being in high school, ,but there's nothing anyone can do to stop it. I didn't feel this sentimental when she started school. It took a wobbly tooth for me to start feeling this way... Weird...
     
  41. moonbeamsinajar

    moonbeamsinajar Habitué

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    What is really scarey is thinking about her being away at college next year! I told my husband we will either have to get a dog, or borrow a kid on a regular basis.
     

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